Subjects/subject
Fake business
Originally something he actually did — calling realtors and sitting through negotiations for houses he was never going to buy. "It's immediately real business for the realtor, but it's fake business for me." It widened from there into a way of describing whole industries.
2020-09-20, 6 mentions2020-10-04, 1 mention2020-10-18, 1 mention2020-12-06, 1 mention2020-12-20, 1 mention2020-12-27, 1 mention2021-01-03, 1 mention2021-01-24, 1 mention2021-01-31, 1 mention2021-03-07, 1 mention2021-03-14, 3 mentions2021-05-16, 1 mention2021-05-23, 1 mention2021-05-30, 1 mention2021-06-13, 1 mention2021-06-20, 1 mention2021-07-11, 1 mention2021-08-10, 1 mention2021-08-22, 1 mention2021-11-23, 1 mention2022-06-05, 1 mention2022-06-12, 1 mention2022-07-10, 1 mention2022-08-22, 1 mention2022-08-28, 1 mention2022-09-18, 1 mention2023-04-09, 1 mention2024-11-23, 1 mention2025-02-01, 1 mention
Tim’s take
The phrase starts as his own hobby, prank-calling realtors while pretending to represent a fake investor client, which he pitches half-seriously as better advice than starting a real business 20:52. From there it becomes his catch-all for anything that looks like commerce but isn't: his aunt's pretend law office in the basement 19:50, a tile deal he kills over a disapproving look 3:28, and the fake wealth of pre-2008 reality TV 39:20. He extends the term to actual industries, arguing Netflix, Amazon, Uber and Spotify are stock-price plays rather than profit-driven businesses, and treats NFTs and celebrity tokens as proof he called it early 1:44:30 5:31 2:27. He eventually turns the joke into an actual brand, selling Fake Business merch and using the line to plug his own show 1:04:35 52:51 50:42 57:16.
Every Reference (36)
"contract is signed all business for intents and purposes is fake business and i am one of the best that's what i've been doing here to keep"
Fake Business: Prank Calling Realtors as a Hobby — #218 - Fake Business | The Tim Dillon Show+772s into the segment"different storefronts you see see what i mean as you get better at fake business you have to start looking things up you got to know tax numbers you got to know profit and loss i mean you got"
Negotiating a Fake Strip Mall in Connecticut — #218 - Fake Business | The Tim Dillon Show+15s into the segment"by the way what do you think the government's doing out there fake business doing a lot of fake wars that we don't need to [ __ ] fight and we're paying for it if these taxes went to something"
California's High Taxes and Ben's Texas Baptism Fantasy — #218 - Fake Business | The Tim Dillon Show+112s into the segment"that is that this is what it is i don't have any time i'm doing fake business and trying to save the world i'm entertaining people i don't give a [ __ ] about the coffee table does it work"
"don't know how to market do you know how much work i put into fake business you know how much how many [ __ ] i wonder how many people could be mad at me for just calling random people probably"
The Great Breakfast Carbohydrate Debate: Pancakes vs Waffles vs French Toast — #218 - Fake Business | The Tim Dillon Show+370s into the segment"profit loss kind of a big deal so i will have you ever done fake business no but i've seen you do it millions of times not cut out for it you're not cut out for it that's not an insult"
Closing Riff: Fake Business Sign-Off and Candace Owens on the Porch — #218 - Fake Business | The Tim Dillon Show+18s into the segment"a realtor I called a realtor but you know me to do a little fake business I don't know if it becomes real business but I I am a little sick of the idea when you sit in LA and you sit in"
LA's Two Extremes: TikTok Kids and Fame Holdouts — #220 - Hail Mary | The Tim Dillon Show+8s into the segment"They've set up in the basement a fake law. You want to talk about fake business? A fake desk where she thinks SHE'S PRACTICING LAW. AND THERE'S NOTHING she's nothing's happening."
Uncle Henry's Impossible Guessing Game — #222 - Running Out The Clock | The Tim Dillon Show+163s into the segment"you for everybody who is supported the fake business campaign fake business will be doing real business up until oh it's over now well if you're on the west coast and this episode's up you"
New Studio Update and Sign-Off Joke About Newsom's Winery — #229 - Blankets and Bug Chasers | The Tim Dillon Show+69s into the segment"that for the sake of doing it they'll be like yeah doing some fake business um but yeah i mean i think we're gonna go that route of the last it's just too complex to get anything else ready"
New Year's Livestream Plans and No-Paywall Policy — #231 - Giuliani And The River of Gold | The Tim Dillon Show+119s into the segment"media operations are stock skills so when i find out that it's fake business it's just then you do some money it's not a big deal yeah it's not a big deal that's just what it that's just"
Netflix and Amazon Are "Fake Business": The Stock Market Con — #232 - Andrew Schulz | The Tim Dillon Show+108s into the segment"this hotel we get all these crazy comics to do [ __ ] about fake business you know sexual harassment training with mark norman just funny [ __ ] you know like a two-day [ __ ] crazy type"
Future Live Show Ideas: Pop-Up Restaurants and Fake Business Conventions — #233 - Airbnb War | The Tim Dillon Show+7s into the segment"pedophile drug addict this is the fake business mug and the fake business mug uh is is not on sale anymore oh it is for sale until the 28th yeah i just thought it was a bit rude how she"
Aunt Kathleen's Instagram Attack (Birthday Rant) — #236 - I Love My Family | The Tim Dillon Show+317s into the segment"going down okay oh by the way that guy josh brown cnbc wears the fake business isn't that nice good for him there he goes get go down you're going to lose your mind here watch this this is"
Checking Stock Positions Live with Ben — #237 - Buy The Dip | The Tim Dillon Show+191s into the segment"that. Yeah. Or NFTs, excuse me. When I said this was the era of fake business, I had no idea how correct I was. I had no idea how precient that rant would be and how far this would go."
The Great NFT Explainer: Lindsay Lohan, Kings of Leon, and Owning the 9/11 GIF — #242 - You're Money Now | The Tim Dillon Show+204s into the segment"so i have as much money as i want to have this is the era of fake business i go on clubhouse everybody on clubhouse is very successful and they spend 19 hours a day on clubhouse telling"
Dinner with Rogan, Ravioli-Throwing Fan, and Lex Fridman — #243 - Best of Patreon Vol. 2 | The Tim Dillon Show+9s into the segment"can't tell you we're gonna get this done and this is not even fake business i want the goddamn car he goes yeah i'm not going to tell you we're going to get this done he's like but we're"
Howie's Mortgage Fraud Days and Alan's Doomed Deal — #243 - Best of Patreon Vol. 2 | The Tim Dillon Show+359s into the segment"preach that [ __ ] with gary vee i don't have the time i do real fake business but i i do want to survive i'm a godfather to a kid now you know and i mean dan but no i'm a godfather to my friend's"
Reflecting on His Own Weight and Sobriety Journey — #243 - Best of Patreon Vol. 2 | The Tim Dillon Show+403s into the segment"uh ben avery who wants more money for him and his wife i do fake business i call up realtors all day when i'm bored and i pretend [Music] as for me i like the stock kings of leon yeah"
Fake Business Merch Launch and NFT Riff — #252 - The Summer Of No Opinions | The Tim Dillon Show+100s into the segment"lot of work on the merge i uh i did some i did a lot too the fake business stuff is really cool it's really cool that people uh dig that bit that we did and it's very funny and it's a cool"
"to you by bit shoot so if you'd like to continue to support fake business head over to apple podcast and leave a review for another podcast show say that tim dillon sent you and leave"
Another Podcast Show Cross-Promo — #254 - Apocalypse Olympics with Abby Martin | The Tim Dillon Show+50s into the segment"escaping las vegas so if you would like to continue to support fake business truly head over to apple podcast and leave a review for another podcast show and say that tim dillon sent you"
Plugging 'Another Podcast Show' — #256 - The Announcement | The Tim Dillon Show+47s into the segment"his car on the middle of melrose i want to be sitting in my fake business hoodie in the fall where do you want to be when hunter biden oh deez i mean dude do you think biden they've hired"
"I still don't have anything bad to say about him. I respect fake business, I respect everything he does, and God bless him."
Tour Dates: Boston, Foxwoods, Chicago and More — #260 - Prison Pen Pal | The Tim Dillon Show+86s into the segment"so i want to spotify uh ceo doing big uh business with us not fake business real business uh i'm also in the middle of a home renovation in austin texas i'm not going to give that woman"
The Austin Tile Store Father-Daughter Team — #263 - Family Business | The Tim Dillon Show+46s into the segment"two items in december for those people that didn't grab the fake business stuff or want some other stuff the quality of the last merge drop was really high uh the the hoodies and everything"
"start? How about that? Why don't you put your energy into the fake business you've been talking about for years? That e-commerce shit that you've been droning on about that never quite happens."
The Furry Daughter, Ben's Cult, and the Midsommar Comparison — #278 - A Thanksgiving Tale | The Tim Dillon Show+8s into the segment"remember, this debuts when? In 2005? This is like the height of fake business all over America. This debuts people are like up they're in debt to their eyeballs, they're all in sham mortgages,"
The Evolution of Reality TV: From Real Housewives to Singing Shows — #301 - Everyone Makes Mistakes | The Tim Dillon Show+344s into the segment"that we could do this it is true we have the privilege to do fake business for years and years i love the fake i know it's it's i've done it myself we have a line that's coming out we have"
Francis Ellis Interview: The Utah Sorority Blog Controversy — #302 - Put Them In A Big Pot | The Tim Dillon Show+308s into the segment"immediately but it's coming a lot of people ask for some new fake business stuff and things like that um we also have uh some other things being worked on we can say we're going to the"
Tour Dates, Netflix Special, and Boomer Parenting Book — Breaking Point | The Tim Dillon Show #306+72s into the segment"with the enron logo in the app but i came up with the actual fake business but i i edited the podcast that you did that went out that's correct and i could have like the camera could have"
Merch, Release Timing, and Ben's Resentments — Private Prison Penthouse | The Tim Dillon Show #312+247s into the segment"knife fight shirt and hoodies and everything coming out new fake business stuff i wish them well uh ben's gonna cut a really cool promo um and we will see everybody else thank you for"
"them how easy it is. There it is. And there it is. Right there. Fake business. We got it. It's a real knife fight out here. Beautiful shirts and hoodies. I wish them well."
Buy the Merch, Swaddle a Homeless Baby — The Off Season | The Tim Dillon Show #316+51s into the segment"the thing which very few people do yeah so even though it's fake business it's real business for them yeah so it trains them it keeps them going you're just fun for me I represent a lot"
Too Many Comedy Specials and the Death of Managers — An American Royal with Bert Kreischer | The Tim Dillon Show #341+50s into the segment"you for having JD Vance on your show um you are the king of fake business and your show at the Ridgefield Playhouse in Connecticut has been moved to January 23rd because of laryngitis"
Ordering a Custom Gaetz Cameo for the Show — Matt Gaetz & The Non-Binary Capitalist | The Tim Dillon Show #418+115s into the segment"don't like my mug [ __ ] off bro I'm making a living it's the fake business mug what's next you're gonna go whatever cash Patel's doing let's watch this this is uh Senator Sanders acting"
Watching the Sanders/RFK Onesie Exchange — The D.C. Plane Crash & RFK’s Hearing | The Tim Dillon Show #429+58s into the segment