Episode 148 · The Porch Era
Episode 148 - Streak of Evil (with Yannis Pappas)
with Yannis Pappas
May 19, 2019 · 1:21:30 · 172,000 views · 31 segments, 188 moments indexed
Tim's penultimate NYC episode comes with special guest (and TDIGTH favorite) Yannis Pappas!
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- 1 min
Opening music, network branding, and applause before the conversation begins.
2moments
- Opening theme and intro to The Tim Dillon Show
- Tim greets the audience
- 1 min
Welcoming Yannis Pappas and the Game of Thrones Family Tweet
#Tim welcomes returning guest Yannis Pappas and jokes about needing an appropriate life to have a healthy relationship with Game of Thrones fandom, leading into his viral tweet telling unhappy fans to start a family instead.
3moments
- Tim welcomes back Yannis Pappas as a returning favorite guest.
- Tim argues that having a normal life means not knowing what's happening in Game of Thrones — you should only understand three main storylines at best.
- If you know every subplot, family tree, and more about the characters than your own family, you don't have a real life — that's a problem.
- 3 min
Pronouns in Bios and the Great Flattening
#Tim and Yannis riff on the backlash to the family tweet, then discuss how putting pronouns in a Twitter bio signals someone impossible to reason with, and how social media pressure flattens everyone into performing the same personality.
8moments
- Tim retweets advice to stop watching Game of Thrones and start a family instead of searching for meaning in TV.
- The backlash to that retweet was treated as if he'd said 'Heil Hitler' — accused of pushing women into reproduction as part of a patriarchal scheme.
- Women working until 65 at media companies, retiring alone with rescue pitbulls, standing desks, and pronouns in their Twitter bios.
- Tim says if someone has pronouns in their Twitter bio, you won't have a productive conversation with them.
- Brooklyn doesn't seem fun anymore; the characters and eccentric people are being driven out.
- Social media makes it easy to corral people into conformity — everyone puts pronouns in their bios because they want to do the right thing, but it flattens everybody into sameness.
- The goal is to make everyone the same and flawless, punishing anyone who shows a flaw instead of understanding that flaws make people interesting.
- People pretend they don't have flaws because they got a short haircut and aren't sixty, but society now wants to jail you for having any flaw at all.
- 3 min
Halloween Costumes, Kids' Movies, and Absent Parents
#Tim expands into a riff about giving Halloween back to children, then tells stories about his own parents never taking him to age-appropriate movies (Jagged Edge, Dead Man Walking) and being raised largely by a non-English-speaking Greek nanny.
7moments
- You can almost tell what conversations are going to make you want to kill yourself by looking at someone's face.
- People walking around Park Slope are at war with unseen systems of oppression.
- Tim gets heavy social media pushback when he suggests people shouldn't all be losers.
- A Halloween costume tweet caused major trouble: give the holiday back to children, buy property, start a family.
- A kindergarten teacher dressed as two burning twin towers got fired—adults shouldn't need costumes.
- Tim's parents never took him to children's movies; his father dragged him to adult films like Jagged Edge and Dead Man Walking when he was seven.
- Tim couldn't sleep for three years after seeing Jagged Edge—a home invasion murder film he was too young to watch.
- 3 min
Kids Today, Teachers, and Blaming the System
#Discussion of modern parents siding with kids against teachers, the shift away from accepting personal flaws, and a riff on teachers as "summer enthusiasts" who don't have the hardest job in the world.
5moments
- Tim on how suggesting responsibility to people today gets you labeled wrong, and how people blame the system instead of themselves.
- Friends telling him not to have kids, asking what else he'd do besides Twitch stream and adopt a dog.
- A guidance counselor friend explains the shift: parents now defend their kids against teachers instead of siding with the school.
- Tim's view: society focuses on youth and blames systems and flaws, not the possibility that the kid might just be broken.
- Teachers get flack because it's not the hardest job—many are wives of rich guys or what Tim calls summer enthusiasts.
King of Prussia
- 2 min
Embracing Your Flaws and the Anti-Vax War on Science
#Tim connects accepting one's own flaws/limits (using his own C+ grades) to modern refusal to accept mediocrity, then pivots into the anti-vaccine movement and giving Jenny McCarthy a platform on medical science.
5moments
- Tim argues that people now refuse to admit flaws, unlike when he was growing up, when parents openly acknowledged differences between siblings.
- Accepting your flaws and turning them into something positive is how people actually achieve things—Tim found comedy because he wasn't the smart brother.
- Instead of medicating energetic kids or labeling them as broken, figure out what they're good at and put them to work.
- There's a real war on science happening right now, with people refusing vaccinations because they treat Jenny McCarthy like a doctor.
- The anti-vax movement divides along political lines, with people rejecting peer-reviewed science in favor of celebrities like Jenny McCarthy, Rob Schneider, and Alyssa Milano.
Jenny McCarthyAlyssa MilanoRob SchneiderTootie from facts of life
- 2 min
Alyssa Milano, Avatars, and the Cruise Ship Metaphor
#Tim mocks Alyssa Milano's political commentary, argues society prefers simplistic avatars (Trump vs AOC) over understanding complex systems like the mortgage crisis, and introduces his metaphor of America as an unturnable cruise ship headed for an iceberg.
5moments
- Tim follows Alyssa Milano's tweet and notes Democrats are looking to be led by narcissists.
- Society loves avatars like AOC or Trump rather than understanding actual systems and how things work.
- The mortgage crisis is emotionally unsatisfying because responsibility diffuses across everyone involved—Wall Street, government, ratings agencies, homebuyers.
- Politics functions like a video game with main characters: Trump the game show host on one side, Alyssa Milano the child star on the other.
- The country is a cruise ship headed toward an iceberg that can't maneuver or turn around.
Alyssa MilanoDonald TrumpOcasio CortesWall Street
- 4 min
The Uncle's Easter Speech: People Too Dumb to Be Governed
#Tim recounts his uncle's Easter dinner theory that most people are too selfish and disengaged to be governed, leading into riffs on China's occupied workforce versus American Twitter-occupied masses and looming automation.
7moments
- Tim's uncle delivered his Easter dinner philosophy: people are too dumb to be governed.
- The theory: 90% of people are selfish and rotten, wanting only pretzels and pools, leaving 10% who crave knowledge but become sociopaths wielding it as a weapon.
- When the population doesn't understand complexity, they either join the Klan or call themselves communists while trying to get laid in Brooklyn bars.
- Tim describes the dumb masses charitably: they barely made it into the human category, like sliding into base at the last second.
- During industrialization, keeping people occupied with jobs prevents them from pursuing ideological movements they don't understand.
- China wins because its masses are occupied making iPhones for underpaid labor; America's masses are on Twitter telling each other what to do.
- Tim warns that without factories to occupy them, when robots eliminate jobs entirely, things will get very bad.
- 4 min
Secret Rooms, Newport Gargoyles, and Engineering a War
#An extended riff imagining anonymous elites in a private club deciding the country needs a war or a plague to create jobs and cull the disengaged population, tying into debt to China and lack of STEM education.
9moments
- Tim reviews the top ten things that were happening as Rome collapsed, finding striking similarities to current conditions.
- The U.S. carries twenty trillion in debt while China owns everything, extracting short-term profits before their system inevitably fails.
- War with Iran seems imminent; a conflict larger than Iran is needed, which Tim suggests is engineered by unnamed powerful men in secret rooms.
- A private club atop a building with gargoyles in Newport, Rhode Island, where wealthy insiders decide how to manage global populations.
- These Newport elites want to keep the poor away from their city, so they engineer wars to prevent riots at the zoo.
- The strategy involves calling other world leaders to convince them they both need a war for population control and job creation.
- Young people won't pursue STEM education and instead major in English and gender studies, so the elite need conflict to reduce population and create opportunities.
- A war solves the problem better than plague—wars are controllable, whereas an actual pandemic like bird flu could spiral beyond their control.
- Plagues are unreliable because modern standards of living, education, and sanitation make them slower and less useful for population reduction.
warNewport Rhode IslandChinaIranRometech boom
- 1 min
Searching for the Rome Collapse List (Rogan Producer Joke)
#Tim asks his producer Nate to find a "signs of Rome's decline" list while joking that Joe Rogan would kill his producers for being this disorganized.
2moments
- Tim jokes that if Joe Rogan had to deal with podcast producers for a minute, he'd shoot them all in the face.
- Jamie's role as the longest-suffering producer compared to the incompetence Tim is describing.
- 2 min
Network Bit: 75 Shows, No Rushing, Track Lighting
#A riff on the network's absurd low standards, joking about dozens of unlistened-to shows, a CEO in sweatpants with a Ukrainian teen, and the studio's cheap track lighting compared to a Bensonhurst sweet 16.
4moments
- Tim on the network's portfolio: 75 shows in production, only four or five with actual listeners.
- CEO somewhere in sweatpants with a fourteen-year-old Ukrainian—the business model is working.
- They have an unusable fireplace and track lighting like a Russian bar under a Dominican guy's car on Coney Island Avenue.
- Who listens to a podcast without track lighting—you'd think you're at a sweet 16 in Bensonhurst.
Shaq
- 3 min
How the Old Rich Hid Their Wealth
#Tim describes how old-money families historically concealed rather than flaunted wealth (Fifth Avenue limestone buildings, WASP aesthetics, plain food) to avoid inciting the poor, contrasting it with new decadence.
10moments
- Tim argues that wealthy people today behave as if they no longer inhabit the same planet as everyone else.
- Old money used to assimilate to a degree, unlike today's ultra-wealthy.
- The old WASP aesthetic—understated, plain, older cars—kept things deliberately hidden while still owning the world.
- Tim describes WASP food as terrible: butter and mayo-based salads, egg salad sandwiches.
- The Southampton Bathing Corp, the 800 wealthiest families, deliberately maintains an old, non-new appearance out of tradition.
- Old money decadence was intentionally beyond the understanding of common people so they wouldn't even want it.
- The wealthy never flaunted possessions in someone's face—you wouldn't show off a watch to a poor child.
- Succession portrays rich characters doing stupid things like giving watches to immigrant kids, which old money never did.
- Hollywood pretends not to be rich while creating evil-rich villains, except for the wealthy characters they're friends with in Malibu.
- Hollywood actors preach liberal values on Instagram while paying accountants to hide money from the government.
SuccessionFifth Avenuewealth inequalitySouthampton bathing CorpLong Island
- 3 min
Reading a found list of decline indicators (currency debasement, food obsession, sexual obsession), Tim expands into Mario Batali's rape rooms, Chris Hedges' book on the violence in modern porn, and trans/porn industry theories about the phallus.
8moments
- Tim lists chefs as celebrities among the seven signs of empire decline, alongside food obsession and sexual excess.
- Porn is now free and universally available, a condition Tim finds economically significant.
- Chris Hedges attended a porn convention in San Francisco and documented the escalating violence depicted in modern porn.
- Tim explains how the porn industry deliberately constructs sexual imagery to exploit hardwired animal instincts around dominance and reproduction.
- Masturbation to screens depicting fictional scenarios represents a departure from normal human behavior, Tim argues.
- Americans have become fat, decadent pigs who worship food and pornography instead of pursuing actual sex or family formation.
- Tim announces he got married and plans to have a child despite the cultural degradation around him.
- Having children serves a biological purpose shared with all living things—propagation—and doesn't require philosophical justification.
Mario BataliAmerica the Farewell TourChris HedgesHarvey Weinstein
- 2 min
On Having Kids and No Real Purpose Besides Propagation
#Tim explains his decision to have kids, arguing humans are just like any organism whose purpose is propagation, and that marriage without kids makes no sense unless you're exceptionally successful.
5moments
- Tim argues that marriage without kids will fail because there's no point to it.
- If you don't have kids, you better be really good at something—and most people aren't.
- Very few people have a career that fulfills them on a level where they don't need kids.
- Content creators without a website are screwed, regardless of geopolitical concerns.
- Tim promotes his website timdillonsgoingtohelm.calm built on Wix.
- 5 min
A sponsor read for Wix website builder that drifts into jokes about needing a website to be a legitimate content creator, mocking Beyonce comparisons and pitching a bit where fans can buy premium plans to get three minutes of airtime on the show.
9moments
- Websites are so yesterday; everyone's on Instagram now.
- Tim questions why Beyoncé even has a website if nobody's using them anymore.
- If you're in sales, entrepreneurship, music, or comedy, you need a website to consolidate your social media and content.
- Professional web designers charge $1,500, which most people trying to build an audience can't afford during the acquisition phase.
- Tim's pitch: a website is literally the only thing holding back your success right now.
- Everyone at coffee shops pretends to be an expert on Venezuela while Tim admits he has no idea what's actually happening there.
- Tim would support Maduro if he funded digital murder; the real problem is Maduro doesn't have a Wix site for PR.
- Tim offers a deal: sign up through his site and you can come on the show for three minutes to pitch your idea.
- Listeners who prove they bought Wix through his link get guaranteed airtime to pitch their project on the podcast.
- 1 min
Continuing the Wix bit, Tim jokes about not caring about Venezuela politics or Maduro, suggesting Maduro's real problem is a lack of a PR-friendly website.
4moments
- Tim criticizes the ad people for not fixing a promotional code while someone was doing a spot at 3 a.m. instead of solving the problem.
- Tim jokes about wanting your pilot to believe he's going to be a novelist instead of paying attention while landing in rain at LaGuardia.
- An accepted pilot who's actually diggin' his job and doesn't need to set the world on fire is the alternative — someone who might actually pay attention.
- Luis finds people on the street and convinces them they're going to be stars.
- 1 min
3am Infomercial Producer Bit
#A quick riff about a producer bungling the promo code, tied into everyone at the network believing they're destined for stardom.
2moments
- Tim pitches working the 3am infomercial spots as a path to stardom
- Ads end up being funnier than the actual show
- 3 min
Sponsor read for BlueChew framed around widespread lack of sex and antidepressant-induced impotence among young people, including a story about hooking up with unreliable 20-year-olds in college.
7moments
- Tim on the widespread problem: a lot of people aren't having sex anymore because free porn killed the incentive to pursue actual partners.
- Nobody's dick works anymore because young people are on so many antidepressants and anxiety medications they need a full pharmaceutical bag just to function.
- Twenty-year-olds in college can barely get hard; they just rub themselves against your leg because they're medicated to write papers.
- Tim on his own dating life: he attracts ambiguous guys—artists, button-counters—who aren't gay or straight but are trying to find themselves.
- There's no shame in using Viagra or Cialis; a lot of people use it, and it's good for you if you want to fuck somebody the right way.
- BlueChew's advantage: no awkward conversation, no doctor visit, ships to your door in discreet packaging so you don't run into a guy from high school doing better than you at CVS.
- Tim uses the pills not to have sex but just to wake up, look at his dick, and go back to bed satisfied with how it looks.
- 3 min
America the Buffet: The Woman Piling Food and Impractical Jokers Cruise
#Tim compares American excess to an all-you-can-eat buffet, recalling a woman stacking food illogically on her plate, then describes the enormous average weight of passengers on the Impractical Jokers cruise and their compulsive need to "fill the hole."
6moments
- America is a buffet where people pay $15 and pile on as much food as possible, mixing incompatible items like crab legs and pancakes without concern.
- Tim witnesses a woman at a Long Island buffet stacking food on top of other food, piling potato salad on mashed potatoes, justifying it by saying everything goes to the same place anyway.
- On the Impractical Jokers cruise, the median passenger weight was about 440 pounds—enough to equal the boat's weight if they could be glued together.
- Cruise passengers rode scooters directly down the buffet line to grab food.
- Tim explains that overweight people panic when they feel even a small air pocket in their stomach, treating it like a breach that must be filled immediately to maintain a constant state of fullness.
- Indian contractors waterproofing buildings must fill every tiny hole or the structure fails; heavy people treat their stomachs the same way—one small gap feels like a catastrophic breach.
- 1 min
AOC at the All-Inclusive Resort
#Tim imagines confronting AOC at a Cancun resort about claiming to be the first generation without prosperity while living like a Roman emperor, tying it to shameless political posturing.
4moments
- Tim imagines confronting AOC at an all-inclusive resort in Cancun about claiming to be the first generation without prosperity while eating at a breakfast buffet.
- A bus driver eating like Nero at an all-inclusive resort in a poor country while AOC claims she lives without prosperity.
- Tim's take: the only requirement to be a politician is saying something shamelessly false with a straight face.
- AOC couldn't make it in Hollywood as an actress because of her teeth, so she went on MSNBC instead to convince people they're fucked up.
- 3 min
Poverty Is Natural, Wealth Needs Explaining
#Riffing on Thomas Sowell, Tim argues poverty is the default human condition and that the real mystery is how wealth is created, criticizing socialist framing that ignores differences in effort and aptitude.
8moments
- Poverty is the human condition's natural starting point; wealth is what requires explanation.
- The real problem isn't understanding poverty—it's figuring out how to create wealth.
- Tim argues that saying nobody should be poor regardless of choices or education isn't realistic.
- Socialism's flaw: you can't make everyone equally wealthy, only equally poor.
- In comedy, Tim notes funny people who don't succeed because they won't hustle for opportunities.
- The successful ones worked their asses off, and that work was the real equalizer.
- Tim supports some safety nets like health insurance and basic income to prevent societal collapse.
- You can't constantly tell people they're victims and expect them to improve their lives.
- 3 min
Victimhood, Charlottesville, and Cultural Appropriation of Black Struggle
#Tim argues telling people they're perpetual victims radicalizes them, using Charlottesville white nationalists as an example, then pivots to the idea that other groups have culturally appropriated the specifically Black American struggle.
8moments
- Tim argues you can't tell people they're victims every single day without radicalizing them.
- Tim describes how victimhood messaging leads people to focus on extremes and mistake them for the norm.
- These kids are just mediocre with no work ethic—they're being outworked by Mexicans and losing to better-looking men.
- Tim uses locker room anatomy as a metaphor: people are born with different advantages and you have to go into the world with what you have.
- While some genuine victims exist, millennials blaming the mortgage crisis or taking student loans they weren't forced to take is false victimhood.
- Tim questions how Black people tolerate hearing Asian and South Asian immigrants claim to have it as hard when they chose to come here and are now doctors.
- Other groups have culturally appropriated the Black struggle in America, which was a real and categorically institutionalized struggle.
- The Black struggle has been handed out to every person of color, gay people, and now everyone is claiming victimhood.
Asian and South AsiansCharlottesvilleMexicansJews
- 3 min
People of Color as a Coalition That Secretly Hates Itself
#Tim argues the "people of color" umbrella masks deep mutual resentment between different ethnic groups (Japanese vs Filipino, Latin countries), and that rich elites have checked out of caring about America as a nation.
6moments
- Tim explains the political purpose of grouping disparate ethnicities under 'people of color' — to consolidate power by uniting everyone who isn't a white man.
- Different ethnic groups within the coalition actually hate each other — Japanese call Filipinos 'the rats of Asia,' Latin countries despise one another.
- Liberal arts institutions teach that white men are an evil monolith while implying other peoples lived in peace until colonization, which Tim calls pseudo-intellectual nonsense.
- Wealthy people have abandoned the country mentally and treat America like a closing Kmart, looting opportunities while refusing to fund infrastructure, healthcare, or public systems.
- The rich don't use the subway or care about its viability because they're driven in private cars; they view America as one big bank to cash out rather than a nation to sustain.
- Tim wonders why the wealthy don't fear that exploited people will eventually rise up and decapitate them, causing mass casualties.
Vasco de Gama
- 2 min
Buffalo Mac and Cheese: Keeping the Fat Population Docile
#A comedic riff that the rich intentionally keep the population overweight and sedated with absurd food combos (Denny's pancakes, Starbucks drinks) and oxycontin so they won't revolt.
7moments
- Buffalo mac and cheese is designed to keep poor people docile so they won't chase down the rich.
- Denny's and Starbucks serve nonsensical flavor combinations—salted caramel banana cream pancakes, banana coconut mocha mint—that make no sense.
- People can wash down these ridiculous foods with oxycontin to really check out of reality.
- Rich people's schools used to be only slightly better than middle-class schools, but now the divide is completely different—everything is private.
- Rich people don't use public transportation or care about city infrastructure at all.
- The country used to be united by shared ethnicity and religion, but now it's global and diverse with competing groups from all over the world.
- There's no overarching national theme anymore—the Cold War and World War Two are gone, so nothing unites the country.
- 3 min
No Shared National Identity Left
#Tim argues America no longer has unifying cultural touchstones since the Cold War/WWII generation passed, leaving disparate regions like Louisiana, Portland, and Rhode Island feeling like different countries, while the wealthy chase money globally (Kazakhstan gas deals).
8moments
- Different regions of America feel like different countries — Louisiana backwoods versus San Francisco versus Portland versus Rhode Island.
- Wealthy people don't care about America's needs; they'll make money wherever it exists, whether that's natural gas in Kazakhstan or elsewhere.
- Tim invokes Nelson DeMille's novel The Gold Coast: rich guys in New York, Miami, and Beverly Hills have never actually been to America.
- Rich people used to have to pretend they cared about their local communities because their factories and farms kept them tied to America.
- Factory owners sold their plants years ago and don't even go near the towns that depended on them — the Chris Farley character from Tommy Boy now does heroin.
- What kept wealthy people in check was civic virtue and social responsibility; they needed political connections and the idea that they had to stay engaged.
- But when factories and consumers were in America, they had reason to care; now globalization and technology enable partnerships that don't require any domestic commitment.
- There's no neighborhood community left anymore — not even at the local level.
Tommy BoyNelson DeMilleChris FarleyUnited StatesCanton OhioEnglandKazakhstanBeverly Hills+12 more
- 4 min
Bowling Alone and Gary Vaynerchuk's Evangelical Hustle Preaching
#Riffing on the death of American community (referencing Bowling Alone) and small tribal communities forming around hobbies, Tim attacks Gary Vaynerchuk-style hustle culture for telling unhappy, unequal people they just need to grind harder.
8moments
- Modern communities form only around shared hobbies or interests, not proximity — dog parks for liberals, Wendy's parking lots for oxycontin users in Old Hickory, Tennessee.
- Bowling Alone describes the death of American community, leaving lonely people united by nothing while wealthy families operate in a completely different world.
- Wealthy people in LA are passionless and unaffected by everything, though they do have excellent soaps.
- Gary Vaynerchuk and Instagram motivational speakers function as capitalist evangelical preachers, telling people to hustle and get it, which is a sham if you need to be told.
- People unhappy in life might just want to be something they're not — like Carson Daly — and need to accept their actual limitations instead.
- The American Dream being sold pushes everyone toward entrepreneurship, but there's nothing wrong with having a regular job and finding happiness in family, friends, and hobbies instead.
- A lot of people in jail waiting execution were their own boss, yet society looks down on regular employment as if it's beneath the American Dream.
- Being Steve Jobs requires not just brains but willingness to tell your daughter to get out of your face and an evil streak most people don't have.
- 4 min
Sinking Ship Optimism and Tyrion's Ruined Character
#Tim explains he can only be friends with people who accept society is doomed, then returns to Game of Thrones criticism, lamenting how Tyrion has been written into a stupid, sentimental shell of his former scheming self.
8moments
- Tim won't have lunch with optimists who think the ship can be turned around; he considers them mentally ill if they ignore the evidence of decline.
- Twitter activists claim compassion but haven't spoken to their own brother in a year—full of performative nonsense.
- People believe they are who they claim to be on social media just because they retweeted an article or posted something virtuous.
- Modern mob culture tries to destroy careers over a single mistake or flaw; no one is allowed to be human anymore.
- Social justice warriors are like the zealot faction in Game of Thrones—a purity cult that took over the city.
- Tyrion is Tim's favorite Game of Thrones character, but the recent season has completely destroyed him.
- Tyrion used to be fun to watch—a smart, scheming dwarf who drank wine and slept with women—but now he's stupid and boring.
- Tim wants Tyrion's head kicked off because he suddenly cares about people and makes terrible decisions instead of scheming.
Game of ThronesTyrion
- 4 min
Rooting for Cersei and Daenerys' Genocide
#Tim explains his long-standing support for Cersei Lannister, praises the show for finally embracing moral ambiguity with Daenerys' genocide, and says he wants an evil, capable ruler on the Iron Throne rather than a fairy-tale ending.
8moments
- Tim explains why early Game of Thrones appealed to him: no clear-cut good guy, multiple competing camps, realistic moral ambiguity.
- Tim has been a longtime supporter of Cersei Lannister because she knows what needs to be done to lead.
- He rejects the prospect of Jon Snow or Arya on the Iron Throne as Disney-style happily-ever-after, contrary to what George R.R. Martin wanted.
- Daenerys committing genocide actually earned Tim's appreciation as a realistic story turn.
- Tim argues for an evil person to win: he'd prefer Daenerys on the throne over Arya or Jon Snow because she has the strength to commit atrocities.
- If Cersei climbs out of the rubble and takes the throne, Tim promises he'd be eternally grateful to the writers.
- Tim predicts the finale will feature Jon Snow, Arya, and Sansa at the Iron Throne, which he'll hate.
- His fantasy ending: Cersei walks in, decapitates all three, sits on the throne, and founds a dynasty of inbred rulers like ancient Rome.
Game of ThronesCersei LannisterGeorge R.R. Martin
- 2 min
Yannis jokes about being banned from Comedy Central and points fans to Andrew Schulz's network for his upcoming free special; Tim plugs his own upcoming Boston shows.
3moments
- Comedy Central won't let him put up clips from his half-hour special and threatens to take comedians to court over it.
- Tim recommends finding comedians by searching their names on Google or looking them up on the Andrew Schultz Network.
- Yannis is performing at Laugh Boston this weekend and wants people to skip the Bruins and Red Sox games to see him instead.
- 2 min
Closing Riff: NYC Infrastructure Collapse and Future Cult of Personality
#A closing bit imagining Tim moving to Beverly Hills, becoming an empty wellness guru slinging green juice, while riffing on NYC's crumbling subway and Uber prices, and mocking comedy criticism in the New York Times.
5moments
- NYC subway doesn't work, Ubers cost $75 to cross bridges, infrastructure is collapsing into a tropical hellscape
- Tim's escape plan: Beverly Hills, eating Pokéballs, refusing to engage with anything real
- In Beverly Hills he'll validate people's pretend ideas about life and keep them compliant
- He and his followers will just sit in a room staring at each other because they have nothing to say and only 70-80 years left
- Comedy writers at the New York Times can't write about anything else because it would require actual research
- 4 min
Tim discusses media credulity around fabricated hate crime stories (Jussie Smollett, Covington), the attacks on journalist Andy Ngo, and argues street violence from groups like Antifa will ultimately be used to justify brutal state crackdowns, before final tour plugs and sign-off.
7moments
- Trump called the media the enemy of the people, and Tim agrees they don't care about the truth.
- Media outlets report hate crimes immediately without waiting for evidence or statements, treating claims as truth.
- Andy Ngo compiles fake hate crimes and has been attacked himself—hit with a milkshake and sprayed with mace.
- Rich people don't care about street violence because it eventually justifies martial law and robot patrols.
- Street fighting and Portland chaos will be used to justify the ruling class deploying exorbitant amounts of violence against the population.
- Upcoming tour dates and podcast announcements in Boston, San Diego, LA, and Miami.
- The conversations Tim has are only possible in New York; anywhere else they'd put you in a mental home.
Donald TrumpAndy NgoThis Is Us