Episode 251 · The Ben Avery Era

#251 - Dirty Little Animals (ft. Ray Kump) | The Tim Dillon Show

with Ray Kump

May 9, 2021 · 1:18:11 · 491,000 views · 30 segments, 185 moments indexed

Tim is in a Miami hotel recording remotely with the great Ray Kump. They talk the monsters that populate clubhouse, the fallacies of crypto and dogecoin, and the new kind of billionaires.

Tonight's Schedule30 segments · 185 moments
  1. 1 min

    Getting Kicked Out of the Miami Hotel

    #

    Tim describes hotel staff aggressively banging on doors to force guests out at checkout, comparing it to paramedics reviving overdose victims.

    4moments
    • Hotel staff aggressively evicting guests at checkout, banging on doors with jaws of life intensity
    • Guests waking up groggy and confused, staff acting like they're administering narcan to heroin addicts
    • People next door getting violently woken up, sounding like police were at the door
    • Staff no longer using the word checkout—just telling people they can't live there anymore

    heroin

  2. 2 min

    South Beach Body Positivity Gone Too Far

    #

    Tim riffs on the overweight, scantily-clad partiers in South Beach, joking about body positivity, letting the imagination discover, and comparing it to Brooklyn intellectuals.

    6moments
    • Tim describes South Beach Miami as having both very good-looking people and what he calls 'sloppy pigs' in the 200-300 pound range wearing bikinis and see-through outfits.
    • Body positivity has gone too far, in his view, though he acknowledges some men are attracted to larger women.
    • Maybe people's confidence isn't coming from magazines and blogs but is genuinely innate.
    • Mystery in fashion is nice—let the gentleman discover rather than have everything exposed.
    • He describes fat people in bright pastel clothing on the beach as essentially '[expletive] on the beach in the streets.'
    • While he hasn't quite seen it that extreme, Tim says it's not that far away from people hanging out of car windows dancing.

    body positivityMiami

  3. 2 min

    Miami Hedonism vs. the End of the World

    #

    He riffs on Miami residents dancing out of car windows, oblivious to the outside world, and jokes about the city representing the end of America done right, plus a bit about a comic pointing out his audience is too white.

    4moments
    • Miami hedonism as superior to Brooklyn intellectuals debating Karl Marx under a ratty blanket.
    • Miami people just enjoy what they have—good Cuban food and sandwiches—without worrying about what's happening outside the area.
    • Tim gets pushback from a comic about his audience being too white.
    • The club plays Journey because white people like it, and that's called diversity.

    Cuban foodJourneyKarl Marx

  4. 1 min

    Learning Spanish Like a Disgraced Politician

    #

    Tim jokes that if he tried speaking Spanish he'd sound like a congressman apologizing for a scandal, riffing on DEA agents needing to learn the language.

    3moments
    • Tim regrets not using a three-hour crawfish eating session to learn Spanish.
    • Tim demonstrates his Spanish: 'policia no bueno'—the kind of thing you'd learn for a DEA promotion.
    • People assume you learned Spanish to get ahead and get promoted within the DEA.
  5. 3 min

    "Work Fat" vs Regular Fat: Cuban Physiology Theories

    #

    Tim recounts a conversation with a Cuban comic about "hard" work fat versus soft, disgusting fat, riffing on Orwell's Burmese Days description of fat and imagining a father lecturing his chubby son about achieving "work fat."

    6moments
    • Cubans distinguish themselves as having 'work fat' — fat that's hard because they work, different from soft fat.
    • Tim explains the theory that work fat becomes like muscle through labor, a concept he doesn't fully understand but heard discussed.
    • The work fat conversation happened at 2 a.m. while eating croquetas at a laundromat.
    • Eating at 2 a.m. is explicitly not how you develop work fat, though the timing feels important to the story.
    • In an age where everything's acceptable, people are delineating different types of fat and ranking their acceptability.
    • The distinction: 'My stomach is hard because I work, I have hard fat, the fat is like muscle — I'm beautiful, not disgusting fat like you.'

    Burmese DaysDXLMiamiSouth BeachFlorida

  6. 4 min

    Austin Is a Tax Scam With Bad Barbecue

    #

    Tim trashes Austin as an overrated dump full of bad bars and country line dancing, then goes on an extended riff about barbecue restaurants looking like FEMA tents or abortion consultation offices, and the absurdity of waiting in line for Franklin BBQ.

    9moments
    • Tim describes Austin as a tax scam he's glad to be part of.
    • Comparing Austin to talking up the Cayman Islands—people don't care about the food or water, they care about money laundering.
    • Austin is a dump; the audiences are bad and the city is five to seven blocks of disgusting bars with heroin addicts playing guitars.
    • Austin is Williamsburg Brooklyn with country line dancing, and the entire city smells like pulled pork from mesquite trees.
    • People get used to eating pounds of meat, coleslaw, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, baked beans, and quarts of sweet tea.
    • Barbecue restaurants look like homeless shelters or FEMA tents, or worse—like abortion consultation waiting rooms.
    • Tim predicts barbecue restaurants will eventually have someone getting fed pulled pork while being assaulted on a trash can.
    • People stand in massive lines for barbecue like it's a Disney World ride, except the ride is brisket.
    • Tim won't eat off a garbage can lid and just wants to sit down, eat, and leave—barbecue as a cuisine can't do anything interesting.

    AustinFranklin BBQJeffrey EpsteinWilliamsburg, BrooklynGhislaine MaxwellCayman Islands

  7. 2 min

    Peter Thiel, Miami's Party Culture, and Best Climates

    #

    Tim discusses Miami's stress-free, hard-to-function-in party culture, name-drops Peter Thiel as an early Miami adopter, and ranks LA and desert climates as the best weather in the country.

    6moments
    • Peter Thiel moved to Miami and is an early adopter of the city.
    • Miami's appeal is its party culture, not the weather—it's too hot and humid to actually get anything done.
    • Desert climates with 75-80 degree days and cool nights are genuinely the best weather in the country.
    • Los Angeles has the best weather in the country if you're talking strictly about climate.
    • Clubhouse is rapidly disintegrating, with users who claim to have money actually living in youth hostels or homeless.
    • Tim admits he was completely taken in by the Clubhouse hype.

    Los AngelesClubhousePeter Thiel

  8. 7 min

    Clubhouse's Fall From Grace

    #

    Tim describes being duped by the Clubhouse hype, encountering scammers, ex-cons, and fraudsters on the app, plus stories about Jake Paul explaining NFTs to David Spade and LaKeith Stanfield getting into hot water moderating an antisemitic room.

    11moments
    • Tim was completely bamboozled by Clubhouse after seeing Marc Andreessen in a room and thinking it was where power players gathered.
    • People getting out of jail for identity theft started appearing in Tim's Clubhouse notifications as new invites.
    • Tim thought Clubhouse would be huge during the pandemic because he had 50,000 followers and got in early.
    • The whole app was just Eric Weinstein talking for 23 hours a day.
    • Jake Paul clammed up in a Clubhouse room when Tim mentioned the golden triangle.
    • Jake Paul explained NFTs to David Spade on Clubhouse and was one of the most intellectual people on the app.
    • Lakeith Stanfield moderated a Clubhouse room where people were calling Jews satanists and parasites.
    • Clubhouse is the perfect way to lose your job because it's a literal recording of you saying something with no way to hide or claim context.
    • Journalists like Taylor Lorenz from the Times were hanging out in Clubhouse rooms to get people in trouble.
    • Tim finds it hilarious when people buy life coaching or investment courses on Clubhouse and thinks they deserve what happens.
    • Tim knew a comic who called herself a life coach while being unsuccessful and getting evicted, which he found absurd.

    ClubhouseMarc AndreessenDavid SpadeEric WeinsteinLakeith StanfieldJake PaulRick MoranisTaylor Lorenz+2 more

  9. 1 min

    Vaccine Side Effects and Eating Pizza to Cope

    #

    Tim and Ray compare notes on getting their second Pfizer shots and joke about eating pizza as a defense mechanism against feeling sick.

    3moments
    • Tim gets vaccinated with Pfizer, experiences lethargy and tiredness after second shot.
    • His stomach felt weird after vaccination, so he ate pizza as an instinctive defense mechanism.
    • Tim's advice: eat pizza to help hold down vaccine side effects and manage the symptoms.

    Tim Dillon

  10. 1 min

    Clubhouse's Absurd $4 Billion Valuation

    #

    Tim marvels that Clubhouse is valued at $4 billion despite falling apart, comparing it to Dogecoin-style absurdity.

    2moments
    • Clubhouse supposedly has a $4 billion valuation despite tanking.
    • Tim on startups: if you have an app, you might as well be Microsoft now.

    ClubhouseDoge

  11. 3 min

    BetterHelp Ad: Setting Up the Bit

    #SponsorBetterHelp

    Tim builds a bit about Ray being sad and needing someone to talk to online before pivoting into a full BetterHelp sponsor read covering pricing, convenience, and testimonials.

    7moments
    • Tim describes wanting access to a counselor available anytime, anywhere, even online from home when sad.
    • The ideal solution would be having a licensed professional available over the internet to help.
    • Tim introduces BetterHelp as a service committed to facilitating therapeutic matches and making it easy to change counselors.
    • BetterHelp is professional counseling done securely online—not a crisis line or self-help service.
    • Tim clarifies that you can start communicating with a counselor in under 48 hours, which is less than two or three days.
    • The website features daily testimonials from real people who have used the service, which Tim assures must be genuine.
    • Over a million people have used BetterHelp to take charge of their mental health with experienced professionals.

    BetterHelp

  12. 2 min

    Gabi Insurance Ad: The Federal Agent Car Crash Callback

    #SponsorGabi

    Referencing an earlier story about crashing a car with federal agents inside, Tim transitions into a Gabi car insurance ad, joking about the absurdity of a free comparison platform.

    7moments
    • Tim recalls falling asleep and hitting a car head-on with federal agents inside who pulled a gun and drove off
    • His car insurance skyrocketed after the crash and he couldn't afford to pay it, so he stopped and lost his license
    • Gabi compares rates from companies like Progressive, Nationwide, and Travelers all in one place
    • Tim asks how much a service like this should cost and expresses that he would expect it to cost a million dollars
    • The punchline: Gabi is completely free despite Tim's expectation that it would cost five thousand dollars
    • The platform is free and customers save an average of 961 dollars per year on insurance
    • Tim promotes Gabi.com with the code TIMDILLON to check if you're getting ripped off by your insurance provider

    Gabby

  13. 5 min

    Defending Crypto and Bitcoin Bros

    #

    Tim mock-defends his crypto skepticism, jokes about Bill Maher's take on Ethereum vs Disney market cap, and delivers an extended bit about the "go [expletive] your mother" argument style silencing crypto critics, then framing Bitcoin die-hards as struggling everymen.

    9moments
    • Tim lost about $250 on Wall Street and got out, but he's a rare cynic who can still have hope.
    • Bill Maher's reasoning on crypto amounts to old man yelling at the sun.
    • Arguments against crypto were never addressed because they can't be addressed—Tim offers to address them himself.
    • When pressed on practical concerns, Tim responds by telling the questioner to go fuck their mother.
    • Crypto enthusiasm is like a high school party where people are having fun; critics ruin it by asking about the future.
    • Bitcoin is the reserve currency and other cryptocurrencies are little fun things people can enjoy and find value in.
    • Tim imagines a Tommy Boy-style speech about crypto giving disaffected people something to believe in again.
    • Crypto supporters give people a new thing to talk about instead of wearing viking horns and smashing capitol windows.
    • Tim acknowledges crypto attracts anti-establishment people, though many successful ones like Dave Portnoy and Elon Musk are already doing well in the system.

    Yes or yesBill MahercryptocurrencyDave PortnoyElon Musk

  14. 2 min

    Bitcoin as Hope for the Disillusioned

    #

    Tim argues crypto gives disillusioned Capitol rioters and Charlottesville marchers something to believe in again, riffing on parties never being the result of hard work.

    5moments
    • Tim argues the American psyche needs self-reflection more than hope right now.
    • Celebrating without the hard work that supposedly paid off — parties aren't built on labor.
    • Good parties are better when the attendees haven't worked at all; partying itself is the job.
    • At 36, exhausted after two shows, Tim's done with standing in rooms listening to people's problems.
    • Tim's 36 now and says enough is enough — what he wants is cryptocurrency and quiet.
  15. 3 min

    Partying in Your 30s and Being Too Old For It

    #

    Tim reminisces about puking outside clubs at 22 and explains why at 36 he has no interest in partying anymore, tying it into people using coke as an excuse to dance.

    7moments
    • Tim puked in his lap while sitting outside City Deli after partying too hard at 22.
    • He can't pace himself and doesn't want to party anymore—he's exhausted after doing two hours of comedy.
    • By age 25, Tim realized that when people in their mid-to-late 30s use the word 'party,' they mean cocaine.
    • Now people just take oxy and click the buy button on NFTs and Dogecoin instead of partying—at least if you buy a car you can't afford, you get to drive it before crashing.
    • Tim brings up John Gotti's son being hit by a car, noting that modern mobsters wouldn't care about revenge the way they used to.
    • The last time New York really had organized crime was the 70s; by the 80s Gotti was flashing everything and everyone knew it was over.
    • The new mafia is Bitcoin—a genuine criminal enterprise replacing traditional organized crime.

    John GotticocainemobNew York

  16. 1 min

    Bitcoin Miami Conference and Whale Nights

    #

    Tim discusses the upcoming Bitcoin convention in Miami, joking about "whale night" for big holders and comparing the mafia's old criminal enterprises to modern Bitcoin culture.

    3moments
    • Bitcoin conference has a 'Whale Night' on the third through fifth where major hodlers attend—they know they're being called whales.
    • Tim notes that with Elon Musk hosting, any pretense of decency among evil tyrants is officially over.
    • Tim jokes about the event schedule: Wednesdays for the whales, Thursdays for rape victims, Sundays for sexual assault night.

    Elon MuskBitcoin

  17. 3 min

    Elon Musk Hosting SNL Fantasy

    #

    Tim fantasizes about an SNL sketch where cast members break down crying about wealth inequality during Elon Musk's hosting gig, imagining an on-air insurrection demanding he give away his money.

    8moments
    • Tim argues SNL will never be great because the cast lacks the nerve to confront billionaires like Elon with real social critique during sketches.
    • Fantasy: A.D. Bryant and cast members break character and start crying about wealth inequality and human suffering while Elon performs in a ridiculous costume.
    • Tim imagines audience members screaming about joblessness and homelessness as Elon struggles to continue a sketch, his confidence visibly cracking.
    • Elon is a shark fin salesman—confident but lacking the actual mechanics of comedy, which is why the episode will be lame without external chaos.
    • Tim hopes for an on-air insurrection where cast members beg Elon to give his money to the poor, calling it more entertaining than anything SNL would actually do.
    • Mad TV would have executed this bit perfectly because its cast members were literally poor and desperate enough to make the awkwardness genuine.
    • Everyone deserves their money unless they stole it—and regarding Lorne Michaels, yes, he's curated powerful American comedy but squandered it in recent seasons.
    • The problem is SNL's political content no longer raises the level of discourse.

    Elon MuskSaturday Night LiveMad TV

  18. 4 min

    Elon Musk vs Bill Gates: Branding of Billionaires

    #

    Tim contrasts Elon Musk's adolescent billionaire persona with Bill Gates' paternal public-health guru image, and brings up reports that Melinda Gates warned Bill about Epstein.

    9moments
    • Elon Musk's net worth increasing doesn't mean he extracted wealth from regular people like he stole turnips from their children's plates.
    • Elon branded himself as the adolescent billionaire—impulsive, social media-driven, talking about Mars with an alternative performer wife and a mathematically-named kid.
    • Bill Gates branded himself as a father figure and public health guru offering the depressing alternative that billionaires just become Warren Buffett or philanthropists.
    • Bill Gates's underlying pitch is that he made money and now wants control over all life on the planet, which motivates a certain group of people.
    • Melinda Gates warned Bill about Epstein, but Bill dismissed her concerns and insisted on maintaining the friendship, treating her objection as jealousy about his new friends.
    • Bill and Melinda's marriage reportedly had a deal where he takes one vacation yearly with his ex-girlfriend to a beach house to ride dune buggies and talk.
    • The obsession with radical honesty and full disclosure is destroying society—people should maintain secrets and mystery rather than vomiting every thought on Twitter.
    • You should have secrets, though not Epstein-level ones, and choose friends and lovers based on who you trust with certain confidences.
    • If you're not taking something to the grave, you lived your life wrong, and all these billionaires are now upsetting because we know everything about them.

    Bill GatesElon MuskTeslaJeffrey EpsteinMelinda GatesWarren Buffett

  19. 2 min

    The Death of Mystery and Whitney Cummings' Oversharing

    #

    Tim argues that oversharing on social media destroys mystery and celebrity, using Whitney Cummings' constant Instagram stories as an example of being too accessible.

    5moments
    • Celebrity has been destroyed by commodification through social media—we now see everything about celebrities' omelets and vacations, destroying the mystery.
    • Nazis fleeing to Argentina after the war would be caught instantly nowadays because they'd be posting TikToks of German songs.
    • Tim avoids daily podcasts and constant Instagram stories because successful people—athletes, entertainers, business people—don't want to be known that well.
    • Whitney Cummings posts Instagram stories all day, which will eventually become evidence in court when she has her breakdown, according to Tim.
    • She's too exposed and too accessible—people think they want more content but they don't, even though Whitney insists they do.

    Whitney Cummings

  20. 3 min

    Raycon Ad: Apple AirPods Are a Scam

    #SponsorRaycon

    Tim complains about expensive, all-white Apple AirPods being easy to steal before pitching Raycon earbuds and their discount code.

    5moments
    • Tim explains why he dislikes Apple AirPods: they're expensive, uncomfortable, and always dying.
    • Raycon earbuds last six hours, compared to the constant battery drain of Apple's.
    • Tim's theory: Apple makes them all white so they're easily identifiable and people steal them, forcing you to buy replacements.
    • Jazz legends like Louis Armstrong and Duke Ellington sound great through Raycon earbuds.
    • Tim sings along to Etta James's "My Love Has Come Along" as a demo of the audio quality.

    AppleRayconjazz

  21. 5 min

    HelloFresh Ad: Monsanto Cheese and Raytheon Produce

    #SponsorHelloFresh

    Tim jokes about wanting raw milk cheese instead of "Monsanto cheese" and produce made by "Raytheon" while pitching HelloFresh's meal kits and discount code.

    9moments
    • Tim wants to make a soufflé but just buys pizza instead, lamenting his inability to cook.
    • Tim hates the grocery store because of the depressed, unsanitary people he encounters there.
    • All the food now comes from Monsanto, and he wants real unpasteurized cheese instead of this processed stuff.
    • The produce is all made by Raytheon, and he doesn't want to cook on the back of a Scud missile.
    • Younger women these days want to vlog and be impressed by fresh food, unlike the older generation who just wanted lasagna.
    • When a woman walks in, you greet her by saying "Hello friends," which breaks the ice and sets a friendly tone.
    • The big problem with dieting is that going out to eat ruins it, so you need HelloFresh instead.
    • If you go to the grocery store planning to diet, you end up chugging ranch dressing in aisle six—we all know who you are.
    • With HelloFresh, you get a box of fresh ingredients and instructions, and you can make a meal in under 20 minutes.

    HelloFreshMonsantoRaytheon

  22. 3 min

    Cigarette Habit and Rental Car Smoking Fees

    #

    Tim complains about getting charged for smoking in a rental car and riffs about not being able to quit cigarettes despite the health risks, joking about no one quitting heroin either.

    7moments
    • Tim asks Fred to bring him a cigarette to smoke in the room and jokes about the $250 penalty.
    • Tim acknowledges he wants to quit but finds cigarettes taste too good, and jokes about bringing an ashtray everywhere as a soap dish.
    • He says cigarettes taste too goddamn good and he hasn't quit yet.
    • Tim rationalizes smoking by noting he's 70 years old and asking what the point of quitting is.
    • Tim distinguishes smoking from heroin: heroin causes you to strangle a baby or sleep with your infant, but cigarettes just mean you won't live to see future horrors.
    • He can't live to witness Jake Paul becoming president and the unimaginable horrors coming for humanity.
    • Tim describes a future so hot that you won't be able to leave your house at certain times, and admits he's not a global warming freak but the heat keeps getting worse.

    Jake Paul

  23. 1 min

    Climate Change, Dubai's Indoor Ski Resorts, and Mars Colonization Doubts

    #

    Tim jokes about extreme heat, Dubai building indoor climate-controlled ski resorts, and expresses skepticism that Elon Musk or anyone will successfully terraform Mars in a meaningful timeframe.

    4moments
    • Dubai building indoor ski resorts and doing everything outside indoors now in climate-controlled environments
    • Tim on the irony of using more fossil fuels to create sustainable indoor activities
    • Musk has been working on this for years and is nowhere near where Apollo missions were
    • It'll take decades to get to Mars and probably 100 to 200 years just to terraform

    Elon MuskDubaiMars colonization

  24. 1 min

    Musk Shooting Crowds and the State's Violence

    #

    Tim speculates darkly about the state's capacity for violence if people ever rise up against billionaires controlling Mars resources, referencing a chris hedges-style line about state violence.

    2moments
    • If people rose up, the state's response would be to start shooting into crowds to disperse them.
    • The state can dole out an unimaginable level of violence, which is terrifying but true.
  25. 5 min

    Sneakerhead Chris Hedges and David Icke's Retirement Tour

    #

    Tim invents a bit about Chris Hedges being secretly a sneakerhead collector who preaches doomsday while buying new colorful sneakers, then riffs on David Icke being displaced by QAnon as the craziest conspiracy figure and reminiscing about playing soccer.

    14moments
    • Tim creates the character of sneakerhead Chris Hedges, a doomsday preacher who owns 2,000 pairs of colorful sneakers and admits it's his one weakness.
    • Chris Hedges never wears the same pair of shoes twice despite believing currency will fail and lecturing about extinction.
    • Tim imagines Chris Hedges owning a $20 million Scarface estate in Miami where he hangs out with people doing crocodyl.
    • Tim jokes about wanting to read an article where Chris Hedges reverses course and makes an intellectual case for Dogecoin.
    • Writing the same article repeatedly makes you a whore for attention, Tim says, even if your job is teaching prisoners.
    • Tim imagines Chris Hedges showing up to a prison reentry program and telling inmates the corporate oligarchs have pillaged all resources and all life on Earth will disappear.
    • The prison might have to fire Chris Hedges after his last visit sparked riots because inmates decided nothing matters.
    • Tim imagines Chris Hedges as a David Icke-style arena showman, walking out and screaming about the fifth-grade extinction.
    • David Icke got displaced by QAnon—now the conspiracy guy who talked about reptiles is the one who makes sense.
    • David Icke should do a retirement tour like Cher, one final run before hanging it up.
    • Funniest thing was watching David Icke in a big UK arena wax poetic about his days as a striker instead of getting to the lizards.
    • Everyone just wants to be famous—Chris Hedges and all these guys keep repeating themselves on Twitter to stay relevant.
    • Tim suggests he'll know it's all over when Chris Hedges moves to Miami.
    • Merch concept: Chris Hedges t-shirt advertised as official branded apparel for the show.

    Chris HedgesDavid IckeAlex JonesQAnonNancy Pelosi

  26. 2 min

    The 19-Year-Old Clubhouse Bag Man

    #Guest

    Tim and Ray mock a 19-year-old on Clubhouse claiming to be a venture capitalist while driving his dad's car, concluding he's really just a bag man.

    5moments
    • Tim discusses the guest house resident's reference to Cato or Cicero from ancient Rome.
    • Tim criticizes his producer for being horrible and ruining his show and career.
    • Met a 19-year-old from Clubhouse who claims to be a venture capitalist, driving his father's car.
    • Tim argues a 19-year-old can't actually be a venture capitalist—they have no money.
    • What the kid actually is: a bag man, just passing money between people with money and those looking for it.

    venture capitalClubhouseCatoCicero

  27. 2 min

    Doughy Young Men and Rehab Friends in Florida

    #Guest

    Tim jokes about a doughy young man's fleeting attractiveness before turning to a friend struggling with drug addiction in rehab in Fort Lauderdale.

    7moments
    • Tim describes someone as "too doughy," looking like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
    • Tim explains he can tell someone is internally fat, destined to become "a doughy jew boy," though there's nothing wrong with that.
    • Tim jokes about using a battering ram to get people to check out of a hotel at 1:30.
    • A rehab friend who was supposed to send an address never responded, because he's "a drunk" who's "drugging."
    • The friend was in rehab in Miami and is now doing well.
    • Tim explains why his friend moved to Fort Lauderdale despite being from Wisconsin: he's dealing with drug addiction and other problems.
    • Tim mentions the friend is currently in rehab again.

    Uncle Graham

  28. 2 min

    Buying a House That Appraised Below Asking Price

    #Guest

    Tim explains his new house appraised $100,000 under the purchase price and rationalizes it with theories about real estate comp lag, then jokes about buying back his old foreclosed house as a show gimmick.

    5moments
    • Tim's house appraised $100k below asking price because he signed an appraisal waiver and is now underwater on the deal.
    • The appraisal doesn't reflect the actual market because recent sales haven't been recorded yet, with a two to three month lag.
    • Tim acknowledges he's building a narrative in his own head to justify the purchase, hoping migration from New York and LA to Florida and Texas drives his house's value up.
    • His first house purchase was a disaster but generated good stories for the show; he's hoping this one doesn't produce any cinematic horror he'd feel compelled to turn into a pitch.
    • Buying his old house back at some point would be a good gimmick for the show.

    Joe Roganreal estate marketAustinFloridaLos AngelesTexas

  29. 3 min

    Pitching the "Bacon Bin" Clothing Line for Big Guys

    #Guest

    Tim and Ray riff on starting a plus-size clothing brand with names like "Thick Bih" and "Bacon Bin," discovering a Miami restaurant already using the name.

    8moments
    • Tim recounts getting his foreclosed house back and deflects when no one seems impressed.
    • Ray Kump plugs his podcast and Patreon with co-host Lucy Steiner, a self-described Brooklyn communist.
    • Tim announces the studio will record Friday for next week's episode and complains about listener demands.
    • Pitching a clothing line called "Thick [Guys]" for bigger men, though Brendan Schaub apparently has "Thick Boy."
    • Tim proposes "Bacon [Guys]" as a plus-sized women's clothing brand instead.
    • Tim argues that a clothing line like "Bacon [Guys]" would be far more successful than any comedy special or podcast.
    • Discovery that there's already a restaurant in Miami called Bacon [Guys].
    • Tim settles on the name "Bacon Bin" for the clothing line.

    Ray KumpLucy SteinerComp PodcastBrendan Schaub

  30. 2 min

    Clubhouse Overrun by Scammers and Fake Fundraisers

    #Guest

    Closing riff imagining Clubhouse being used for livestreamed mass shootings and instant conspiracy rooms, ending on a story about people running fake fundraisers for a dead kid to steal cancer money.

    5moments
    • Tim thinks Clubhouse will make a comeback and imagines live mass shooting streams on the platform.
    • Every mass casualty event spawns an instant conspiracy room on Clubhouse where people claim the victims are actors.
    • Watching cranks and scammers take over what Silicon Valley workers spent 20 years building is hilarious to Tim.
    • Clubhouse shifted from Elon appearing to people writing bad checks and embezzling from their husbands.
    • Marina and women stealing their kids' cancer money are now on Clubhouse trying to learn fundraising from Ty Lopez.

    ClubhouseTai LopezElon MuskEric Weinstein