Episode 227 · The Ben Avery Era
#227 - Sober Up | The Tim Dillon Show
Nov 22, 2020 · 1:22:13 · 394,000 views · 19 segments, 122 moments indexed
After a series of unfortunate events in the desert, Tim and Ben are forced to record outside in the dark.
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- 1 min
Cold Open: No Video, Backyard in Palm Springs
#Tim explains the show is audio-only this week due to a string of disasters preventing them from recording in the usual studio, so they're recording in his Palm Springs backyard.
1moment
- Tim opens the show from his backyard in Palm Springs instead of the usual studio.
- 1 min
Palm Springs High Season and the Desert Rats
#Tim riffs on preferring Palm Springs in the brutal summer heat because it keeps people away, and complains about the crowds returning now that it's cooler.
2moments
- Tim prefers Palm Springs in summer at 125 degrees because the extreme heat prevents people from getting emotional and keeps riots at bay.
- Now that it's cool season, all the desert rats are coming back out.
- 4 min
The Deep Covid Clean, the Meth Maid at CVS, and the Onion Rings Guy at Dairy Queen
#Tim describes a maid couple doing an unrequested "deep covid clean" that fumigated his house with bleach, the trip to CVS for candles where a meth-addled clerk gives them attitude, and a bizarre Dairy Queen drive-thru encounter with a man screaming for onion rings and an extensive slushy order next to a Subway drive-thru window.
6moments
- Tim's maid and her husband performed an uninvited deep Covid clean that filled his house with overwhelming chemical smell.
- Ben walked in and immediately started watering eyes and coughing from the bleach fumes.
- At CVS, a meth-addicted employee with an attitude refused to help them find candles, insisting on Glade plug-ins instead.
- Tim confronted the CVS employee about the difference between candles and plug-ins, bringing up that the state took her child.
- At Dairy Queen, a man in a stalled pickup truck screamed "onion rings" out his window at the sky instead of using the speaker box.
- The car in front of the screaming man was slowly reciting every type of slushie available at 11 p.m. while the Onion Rings Guy lost his mind.
- 8 min
Trump as a Drug and the Coming Sobriety
#Tim argues the country has been "hopped up" on Trump for four years and compares supporters and haters clinging to the drama to drunk teenagers pretending to still be wasted; he predicts Trump won't build a massive media empire and mocks dinner guests insisting Trump and Covid will never end, comparing it to early sobriety and denial.
10moments
- Tim describes the last four years as everyone being on drugs, with Trump serving as the narcotic for both supporters and detractors alike.
- Hard-core Trump supporters are like drunk people pretending they're still wasted at a high school party, insisting they're winning when the party is clearly over.
- Both Trump and Covid are going to end, and people need to accept reality where these things stop running their lives.
- Tim goes on record predicting Trump won't build a massive media empire, citing the enormous capital requirements involved.
- The comparison to high school friendships promising to stay close forever despite going to different colleges—it's just not how reality works.
- People's entire sense of reality is wrapped around Trump and the reactions to him, making the end of this era feel like drug addicts coming down.
- When someone at dinner suggests Trump will run again in four years, Tim questions how badly people need this guy and his oxygen-hogging presence.
- Covid is going to end through vaccines or herd immunity, but people are terrified of moving on from both Trump and the pandemic as defining situations.
- People are invested in Trump and Covid being permanent reality, insisting masks will be worn forever and life will never return to normal.
- Tim draws from his own rehab experience to identify the current cultural moment as addict behavior during withdrawal.
- 1 min
Getting His Trainer Into QAnon
#Tim jokes about hiring a personal trainer and trying to get him hooked on QAnon conspiracy theories during training sessions instead of talking about diet.
3moments
- Early sobriety means letting go of the drugs, rituals, people, and places built around addiction.
- Tim just hired a personal trainer and is trying to get him into QAnon to distract him from bothering Tim.
- Tim texts his new trainer about QAnon; the trainer keeps redirecting the conversation back to what Tim ate.
early sobrietyQAnon
- 3 min
Scientology Documentaries and Coming QAnon Docs
#Tim riffs on the glut of Scientology documentaries being boring because it's obviously a cult, only interesting because of celebrities like Tom Cruise, and predicts a wave of future QAnon documentaries from broken followers.
5moments
- Tim questions why there are 25 documentaries about Scientology ex-members when everyone already knows it's a cult.
- Scientology is basically Epstein's island—blackmail operation wrapped in alien mythology that nobody finds surprising anymore.
- The only reason anyone cares about Scientology is because celebrities like Tom Cruise are in it; poor people in the same cult get no attention.
- Tim predicts QAnon documentaries will flood streaming in a few years, featuring people explaining how they lost custody of their kids over conspiracy theories.
- QAnon followers' brains have been fried by reading drops instead of looking for jobs—picture someone shouting at a Dairy Queen drive-thru window.
- 2 min
Tim reads a sponsor segment for United Harvest, praising the quality of the steaks, wagyu, lamb, and pork chops they sent him and pushing the promo code.
7moments
- Tim received high-quality meat from United Harvest and appreciates the best cuts of American beef and wagyu.
- He knows exactly where the meat comes from and can taste the difference in quality.
- United Harvest sent him pork chops, rib eye steaks, New York strips, top sirloin, and lamb loin chops that he genuinely enjoyed cooking.
- The flavor is outstanding because the meat comes from sustainable farming with no hormones, GMOs, or unnecessary antibiotics.
- Buying from United Harvest supports USA farmers instead of importing meat from halfway around the world like other companies do to cut costs.
- The meat is delivered overnight and arrives the next day, making it convenient for cooking at home.
- Tim directs listeners to unitedharvest.com with promo code 'tim' for 20 percent off orders of fifty dollars or more.
United Harvest
- 4 min
Tim transitions into a Magic Spoon cereal ad via a childhood memory of eating sugar cereal with a friend named John, who was allegedly run over intentionally by his own parents, then plugs the cereal's low sugar and protein content.
5moments
- Tim's favorite childhood memory is eating sugar cereal like Lucky Charms and Count Chocula at a friend's house.
- He's spent years trying to replicate that cereal feeling as an adult and found Magic Spoon, which has zero sugar, 11 grams of protein, and only 3 grams of carbs per serving.
- His childhood friend who ate sugary cereal with him got hit by a car driven by his own parents.
- The friend is dead now, but his parents still bought cereal for Tim to come over and eat after burying him.
- Instead of pouring out liquor at the grave like gang members do, Tim and his friend's parents would sometimes pour Lucky Charms on the floor for the dead boy.
- 5 min
Nobody Wants Trump or Covid to End
#Tim continues arguing both pro- and anti-Trump camps are addicted to the drama and don't want it to end, clarifies his Patreon joke about Kamala Harris and the Patreon CEO wasn't a real threat, and discusses the 2020 election irregularities without conspiracy conviction, comparing it to Bush v. Gore.
9moments
- Everyone's invested in the idea that nothing will ever change, which is unhealthy and weird.
- Both sides are holding onto Trump — people who called him Hitler think he'll terrorize them forever, while still watching Stephen Colbert and John Oliver take him down.
- Tim clarifies that his joke about Kamala Harris executing the CEO of Patreon was a joke, not based on inside knowledge of actual planned events.
- Tim spoke with his conservative cousin who believes the election was stolen, but Tim hasn't done a deep dive and doesn't think it's shadier than previous elections like 2000.
- Tim doubts there was an Orwellian plot to steal the election from Trump, who wouldn't have cared about democracy if he'd won.
- Tim tells people upset about the election that he doesn't care — they're idiots for obsessing over it while he's moved on.
- The moment of Trump's glory was fake and has ended; it's like a school play where you performed in front of everyone and now must go back to class.
- The Nelk kids seem like smart business people at dinner, despite making videos of themselves jumping off roofs into pools.
- TikTok kids are becoming angel investors and dumping money into companies like pet food startups.
Donald TrumpJohn OliverKamala HarrisStephen ColbertGeorge W. BushPatreonBarack ObamaNelk Kids
- 6 min
TikTok Kids Becoming Angel Investors and the Magcon/Vine Generation
#Tim discusses TikTok stars turning into amateur angel investors and podcast business bros, contrasts them with the earlier Vine/Magcon generation who mostly ended up washed up and broke, and riffs on how social media fame mostly rewards good looks over talent.
10moments
- Chelsea Handler and other celebrities dumping $20k into startups, then tweeting about being angel investors.
- Magcon—Meet and Greet Convention—was the precursor to TikTok kids, documented in Netflix's 'Chasing Cameras' about Cameron Dallas.
- Vine stars built huge followings on six-second looping videos before the app shut down.
- The real algorithm for social media success is just being good-looking; that's it.
- Good-looking people get away with bad comedy because people find them attractive and won't admit it.
- Vine stars from Magcon bottomed out after the app died and couldn't parlay their success into anything else.
- LA social media managers warn TikTok kids about the Vine stars as a cautionary tale—washed up at 21 or 22 with nothing.
- Young TikTok kids are trying to build businesses despite being 16, 19, or 20 and knowing nothing about business.
- Business strategists and the Winklevoss twins do podcasts with TikTok kids to teach them about capital markets.
- Tim dislikes Barstool Sports slogans like 'Saturdays are for the boys' when people should be finding gainful employment.
Yes or yesBarstool SportsVineBryce HallCameron DallasWarren BuffettChelsea Handler
- 2 min
Barstool Sports History Deep Dive
#Tim and Ben look up and discuss the origins of Barstool Sports as a 2003 Boston gambling newspaper founded by Dave Portnoy, and how it became the model every content creator wants to emulate through building a cult culture.
6moments
- Tim affirms Dave Portnoy as a visionary in media.
- Barstool Sports began as a gambling newspaper in Boston in 2003.
- Every content creator now wants to build their own version of Barstool Sports.
- Barstool's success comes from creating a culture around partying that resonates with college kids.
- Louis Gomez and the Legion of Skanks created a similar culture at a smaller level with Skank Fest.
- Palm Springs has been flooded with drug addicts wandering the streets.
Barstool SportsDave PortnoyLegion of SkanksLuis GomezJosh Richards
- 1 min
Palm Springs Homeless and Desert Creatures
#Tim notes the strange nature of Palm Springs' seemingly well-off homeless population and reminisces about the empty desert during the summer riots.
2moments
- Tim visited Palm Springs during the riots in May and found it completely empty, like a nuclear fallout shelter or one of those ghost towns from The Hills Have Eyes.
- Now that everyone's returning to the desert in January, Tim questions why anybody would want to be out there.
- 3 min
Tim mentions Ryan Phillippe calling him a "fish out of water" in LA, then dives into Gavin Newsom's hypocritical French Laundry dinner party with health officials and lobbyists during the pandemic while California burns.
8moments
- Tim compares himself to Ryan Phillippe—fish in water versus fish out of water, like the Elephant Man walking around the Grove.
- Tim didn't want Gavin Newsom to audit him, so he had to cancel Friendsgiving.
- Tim notes the dinner was indoors with serious health officials and Newsom drinking wine and eating a tasting menu while the state burned.
- The French Laundry dinner included the CEO of the California Medical Association and a lobbyist for doctors on November 6.
- State officials claimed the dinner was for lobbying on behalf of California doctors and was held in accordance with state and county guidelines.
- Tim jokes the only thing funnier would have been if Newsom was attending Chris D'Elia's birthday party at the French Laundry.
- Newsom and guests ate French food elbow to elbow, allegedly outdoors but clearly indoors because it got cold.
- Tim describes Newsom as just a good-looking pimp of a dude.
Gavin NewsomThe French LaundryThomas KellerChris D'Elia
- 3 min
Gavin Newsom, Kimberly Guilfoyle, and Trump Jr.'s QAnon Romance
#Tim riffs on Gavin Newsom's ex Kimberly Guilfoyle now dating Donald Trump Jr. and openly promoting QAnon, and speculates Trump will never truly leave the political stage.
8moments
- Kimberly Guilfoyle is in it for love, seeking deep emotional connection with the men she dates.
- Tim observes that Kimberly likes a man with clout.
- Newsom's marriage fell apart because he kept issuing her stay-at-home orders and curfews.
- Trump Jr. and Guilfoyle are openly promoting QAnon right now.
- If Trump is being walked out of the oval office, he'll just look at everybody and say 'I'm cute.'
- That's why he tried to bomb Iran.
- He's running again in four years—it's not going to be over.
- Tim went to Nassau Community College because he's a loser, but now he podcasts with Alex Jones and Roseanne.
Kimberly GuilfoyleDonald TrumpDonald Trump JrQAnonGavin Newsom
- 5 min
Senior Summer Nostalgia and Skipping College for Nassau Community
#Tim reflects on the end of senior summer friendships fading, his embarrassment about attending Nassau Community College while friends went to universities, and boasts about becoming a national media figure anyway alongside Alex Jones and Roseanne.
9moments
- Tim describes sitting down with the greatest minds of his generation by taking drugs for a decade and developing latent schizophrenia to connect with successful people who had the same disease.
- The specific moment in August when everyone knew summer was over and the realization that friendships change once college starts.
- By sophomore year's Thanksgiving, childhood best friends feel like strangers because they've had new experiences at their respective schools.
- Tim was embarrassed going to Nassau Community College while his friends attended universities, even though he's since done better than all of them.
- He claims membership in the new media alongside Candace Owens, Alex Jones, Roseanne, and Dave Portnoy, dismissing traditional media outlets.
- Despite his success, Tim still feels a little embarrassed about not going to college and thinks that's a healthy insecurity that keeps him grounded.
- Hearing Dan Carney talk about Florida State makes him feel insecure about his own lack of college experience, even though he's smarter than most college graduates.
- Roseanne smokes to stay connected to regular people, similar to how Tim maintains his groundedness to avoid losing touch with audiences.
- He won a debate championship at Nassau Community College, the school's first gold medal ever, defeating two women in the sport of talking.
Barstool SportsDave PortnoyRoseanneAlex JonesCandace OwensDan Carney
- 6 min
Winning the National Debate Championship in Woodland Hills and Losing His Virginity
#Tim recounts his debate team trips to Woodland Hills and Philadelphia, including losing his virginity, winning his community college's first-ever national debate gold medal while stoned, and selling his house being tied to his debate partner Kenny.
10moments
- Tim won the national debate tournament in Philadelphia, stomping on competitors' faces in an ill-fitting cheap suit.
- Debate team at Nassau Community College was the only college experience Tim had, traveling to real universities for tournaments.
- First national tournament was in Woodland Hills, California at a Marriott, where Tim lost his virginity to a biological woman.
- Tim's first sexual experience was with a white woman, not Latinx, which he says would have been hotter for social media purposes.
- At the Philadelphia tournament the next year, Tim wanted to win badly and smoked pot all weekend listening to Beanie Sigel while driving his shitty car.
- Tim won the gold medal—the first in Nassau Community College's history—a prison-like school two blocks away from an actual prison on Long Island.
- A chubby woman in terry cloth pants and flip-flops told Tim outside their biology class that she could drink and raise her daughter, a statement that haunts him.
- Tim ate at the International Buffet between classes, an Asian fusion place that served sushi and french fries, leaving him sick from soy and MSG.
- Once Tim vomited on his shirt at the buffet, walked back to class without it, and when someone asked if he'd just vomited, he confirmed it and they laughed.
- Tim wishes he'd gone to a real college so he could have come out earlier and been happier, but then he wouldn't be funny and wouldn't have bought the house that destroyed his life.
Nassau Community CollegeBeanie SigelPhiladelphiaLong IslandLos AngelesWoodland HillsGarden City
- 1 min
The Parliament-Smoking Woman Who "Can Do Both"
#Tim recalls a chain-smoking classmate at Nassau Community College who nonchalantly insisted she could drink and raise her daughter simultaneously, a line that has haunted him ever since.
4moments
- Tim rants about Monster Shakes, a frozen yogurt shop in Palm Springs run by two gay men, calling them ogres.
- Dole Whip is just sorbet from a frozen yogurt machine that nobody wants, served to toothless elderly people and Latinx people.
- Tim went to the shop with Ben and the frozen yogurt wasn't actually frozen—texture like expired cream poured from a carton.
- Tim has told the owner multiple times they can't run the place like this, accusing them of getting high on poppers in the back instead of managing the business.
Dole WhipMonster Shakes
- 1 min
The International Buffet's Asian Fusion Horror and Vomiting in Class
#Tim describes a bizarre "Asian fusion" buffet near his college that mixed sushi with french fries and pizza, and a memory of vomiting on himself and casually returning to class.
3moments
- Tim questions whether the buffet owners have a business license.
- The transition from Biden to Harris feels like high school to college—a weird shift between people pretending nothing will change and those understanding massive change is coming.
- Tim predicts people's heads are going to spin from the amount of change coming in the next 12 to 16 months.
- 25 min
Monster Shakes and the Two Gay Ogres' Disgusting Dole Whip
#Tim rants about a Palm Springs frozen yogurt shop called Monster Shakes run by a couple he dislikes, whose Dole Whip he describes as inedible and poorly run.
14moments
- Tim shifts from ad reads to discussing major societal changes coming after Trump leaves office, predicting four years of political fighting will end and people will lose their primary source of meaning.
- Covert has restructured the economy in harmful ways over eight months, with lasting effects comparable to 9/11, though the acute crisis will eventually subside.
- Pandemic relationships will dissolve once vaccines arrive and life reopens; Tim examines friendships he knows will end when people regain freedom to evaluate their actual connections.
- After eleven years of constant stand-up comedy with barely a week off, the quarantine forced Tim to stop touring, making the podcast his main focus instead.
- Tim explains that quarantine created unhealthy isolation with his friend Dana, a New York transplant who had just gotten out of prison and then faced immediate lockdown again.
- Don't make major life decisions right now while locked down; when released, people will reevaluate everything and many will choose different paths, even returning to prison if necessary.
- COVID has disrupted everyone's mental state, and most people's meaning for four years came entirely from political fighting and choosing sides.
- People become comfortable in their circumstances and assume external stress will always exist, but Tim argues that the noose will loosen and people need to prepare mentally for that change.
- Middle-aged women gave up scrapbooking and normal hobbies to spend four years on social media arguing about Trump and conspiracy theories instead of living productive lives.
- Tim moved out of Palm Springs to the Valley in LA and will keep relocating because staying in one place makes you stagnant; constant movement keeps people alive and engaged.
- New studio and content projects are coming; Tim wants to embrace change rather than fear it, criticizing funny comedians who refuse to engage with social media and digital content.
- Comedian Mike Lawrence advised that refusing opportunities due to fear of failure means you think you're too good to fail, which is the wrong attitude and prevents growth.
- Donald Trump succeeded partly because he never thought he was too good to fail; he tried many things, failed repeatedly, and kept going until building something profitable.
- Tim closes with a memory of a friend promising their relationship wouldn't change when going to college, but then that friend later overdosed on heroin.
Vincero WatchesRidge WalletDonald TrumpNancy PelosiHillary ClintonJoe RoganIglesia de Cristo