Episode 113 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
The Pauper Is Just Working
Sep 13, 2018 · 1:26:34 · 19 segments, 160 moments indexed
- 1 min
Cold Open: The Last Supper Parody and 9/11 Episode
#Tim opens the show introducing Ray Kump and returning guest Yannis Pappas, joking about the show's opening sequence parodying the Last Supper and noting it's the September 11th episode.
2moments
- 0:14Tim welcomes Ray Kump back as a returning favorite guest
- 0:35The episode is from September 11th, 2018, with Giannis Pappas joining them
- 4 min
Yannis discusses his upcoming wedding to a Long Island girl, getting married at Oheka Castle, the cost of Long Island weddings, and riffs about heroin kids versus football kids if he raises children on Long Island.
9moments
- 1:05Yannis is getting married in his 40s, describing it as a "what now" type of thing after doing everything else.
- 1:29Being engaged to a woman from Melville, Long Island feels like being married to a party planner.
- 1:46The wedding is at Oheka Castle, which Tim calls the Disney of Long Island and the proper way to do it.
- 2:25If you're Albanian and done well in life, Oheka Castle is where you start your marriage $100,000 in debt.
- 2:48Yannis would rather walk into the Bay than live on Long Island, threatening to backward into the water like a dog.
- 3:08Bay Ridge is about an hour from Yannis's fiancée's family, which is the optimal distance.
- 3:34A drive to Governors Island from Bay Ridge at 5:30 AM took three hours, turning what should be a half-hour trip into a journey you could fly to Miami for.
- 4:01Raising kids in a Long Island house versus a city apartment shapes whether they'll be heroin kids or cerebral New York City kids.
- 4:23Long Island kids will definitely be on heroin, but they'll also be on football teams, making them straight in their own way.
Long IslandOheka CastleGaS DigitalBarack Obama
- 3 min
Extended riff on how Long Island residents are completely disconnected from national events, the mob presence in Long Island nightclubs and marinas, and a story about a strip club with a peep booth on Crooked Hill Road, plus observations from filming a pilot there.
7moments
- 5:04Tim explains how Long Island residents exist in a bubble unlike city dwellers, completely insulated from outside awareness.
- 5:33Tim describes a Long Island strip club with a porn shop in back, peep booths, and lap dances that eventually got raided by the FBI.
- 5:56Long Island functions as its own sequestered territory where people can operate without scrutiny, like Israel for the mob.
- 6:14A beach club regular tells Tim the appeal of Long Island: "Nobody cares about anything."
- 6:26A woman explains her escape from national chaos by simply looking at the water every day instead.
- 6:50The traffic isolation keeps Long Island residents sequestered, preventing them from wanting to leave the island.
- 7:21You can build a solid working-class life on Long Island with an HVAC business without dealing with urban complexity.
- 3 min
Yannis describes the surreal experience of meeting wedding vendors who only address the bride, DJs showing shaky iPhone videos on iPads, and the whole industry built around fulfilling women's childhood wedding fantasies.
9moments
- 8:00Wedding planning involves meeting dozens of vendors—tux guys, cake people, DJs, light people—an entire industry built around girls' childhood fantasies.
- 8:21Tim's future father-in-law has been saving into a 401k specifically to fund a Cinderella day for his daughter once he learned her sex.
- 8:38Wedding vendors only address the bride and ignore Tim entirely, treating him as a prop at the table.
- 9:02Tim attempts to participate by saying random words like "table" to seem involved, which the vendors completely ignore.
- 9:24Meeting DJs in person for Skype call follow-ups is suicidal—Tim has contemplated killing himself during these meetings.
- 9:41DJs show up with iPads and swipe through shaky iPhone videos of weddings they may or may not have actually worked, demonstrating they can press a button to play music.
- 10:18DJs emphasize that wedding music is their profession and they take it seriously, which Tim interprets as admitting they're failed DJs who only do weddings.
- 10:42The DJ process requires couples to request all songs on a packet sheet, but the DJ will play whatever they want regardless.
- 10:53Every Long Island wedding will inevitably feature Frankie Sinatra and "Hey Jude" no matter what songs are requested.
Long Islandwedding planning
- 4 min
Yannis reflects on whether he ever wanted marriage and kids, the fading desperation of getting older in comedy, and a tangent into how younger generations have abandoned television entirely in favor of podcasts and YouTube.
8moments
- 12:43Tim doesn't think the human race will be around much longer, so he's ambivalent about settling down.
- 12:54He wanted to continue being with his girlfriend, she wanted to get married, so he agreed to it.
- 13:09The question of what else there is to do besides having kids drives people to stay in relationships.
- 13:30At 33, Tim has stopped caring about which show he's on or climbing the industry ladder.
- 13:47The desperation and gnashing of teeth he used to feel about his career has mostly faded.
- 14:19The entertainment industry is falling apart while they try to convince everyone they're still relevant.
- 14:35Podcasters and independent creators like Joe Rogan pull 15 million listeners while traditional TV becomes invisible.
- 14:53The industry has kept the secret of its irrelevance hidden, but now you have to do your own thing to matter.
entertainment industryElon MuskJoe RoganFrank Sinatra
- 5 min
A deep dive into the theory that privileged, comfortable people created a post-comedy scene by gentrifying neighborhoods and circumventing the traditional New York comedy gauntlet, contrasted with legends like Richard Pryor and Sam Kinison who came from real pain.
9moments
- 16:51Tim questions the trend of articles asking whether comedy has to be funny and what motivates the post-comedy era.
- 17:41Privileged people who grew up with unprecedented comfort and safety don't actually need laughter the way suffering people do.
- 17:59The people who need laughter most are those in pain, connected to reality and the harshness of life.
- 18:39A funny comedian can be the worst thing that happens to privileged people all day because their souls don't need the laughs.
- 18:53Baby boomer kids moved back to cities, gentrified Black neighborhoods, and created their own comedy scenes as executives and talent pickers.
- 19:33Gentrifiers circumvented New York sensibility and created shows specifically to avoid the city's edge and truthfulness.
- 19:43Comedy used to require impressing New Yorkers on Broadway or the East Village—all great comedians come from this New York standard.
- 19:59Real comedy comes from New York edge: truthful, saying it regardless of feelings, in a dark room where people actually laugh.
- 20:19New York-style honesty now seems aggressive and offensive to the people who created alternative rooms to avoid it intentionally.
New YorkcomedyDon L. RawlingspodcastingEmmyYouTubers
- 5 min
Yannis talks about starting comedy at 23 at American University in DC, then Tim riffs at length about Georgetown's Colorama neighborhood where Bezos, Obama, and Ivanka Trump all live blocks apart despite public political rivalry.
8moments
- 21:38Tim contrasts today's comedy clubs with figures like Joan Rivers, Richard Pryor, and Sam Kinison, noting their interesting life stories and perspectives are no longer present.
- 22:00Interesting, edgy people still exist but aren't being pushed by the comedy industry because of safe-box constraints and pressure not to offend.
- 22:46New York comedy used to draw mostly New Yorkers rather than people trying to make it, creating a fundamentally different room dynamic.
- 23:09Modern comedy audiences feel like aspiring comedians watching each other, constantly calculating their own shot rather than genuinely responding to material.
- 23:48Tim describes Colorama, a small DC enclave where the Obamas, Jeff Bezos, and Ivanka Trump live—supposed enemies who share the same block, restaurants, parties, and schools.
- 24:39Colorama is a very small area next to Georgetown that houses Bezos, Ivanka, Obama, Saudis, Russians, ex-spies, and ex-directors of national agencies all concentrated together.
- 25:14The Colorama area radiates an eerie energy: hidden security in vans, cameras everywhere, references to the Franklin scandal and alleged sex parties for senators and congressmen.
- 25:36Three blocks away from Colorama everything returns to normal, but Tim sees the neighborhood as a distillation and concentration of power that fascinates him.
Joan RiversRichard PryorSam KinisonColoramaBarack ObamaIvanka TrumpJeff BezosFranklin scandal
- 4 min
Comparing DC and LA as power-obsessed title-chasing cities, then Yannis recounts the genuine danger of growing up in New York in the 80s and 90s, getting mugged repeatedly, and the classic joke about being called a slur instead of getting beaten up.
6moments
- 27:38Tim grew up in the 80s and early 90s in New York, which he compares to Vietnam — a nightmare that only people who lived through it can understand.
- 27:57The city was just fucking dangerous. Getting mugged was normal; everyone he knew got robbed maybe 20 or 30 times and carried 'mugger money' so they wouldn't get killed.
- 28:34One of his favorite jokes: walking past kids who call him a faggot was actually a good day, because usually you'd get beaten up.
- 28:49Even the homeless people were way more aggressive back then. The grunginess of 80s and 90s New York sounds wild but there's no exaggeration in it.
- 29:15Tim wanted to become a Secret Service agent, but only because he had a fantasy of sitting at a bar in Miami and impressing a girl with his badge.
- 29:50He realized the whole Secret Service agent dream was stupid — just one dumb fantasy that wasn't worth an actual career.
- 2 min
Yannis explains his brief dream of becoming a Secret Service agent purely for the fantasy of telling a girl at a Miami bar about it, then his pivot to comedy at 23 and his first electric set at Caroline's.
6moments
- 30:18Tim thought he might work in government but realized a day job wouldn't be sustainable for him.
- 31:03Tim started comedy at 23 and did his first set at Caroline's as a Bringers show in 1999 or 2000.
- 31:21The early set felt like a win because the audience was essentially paid friends he'd invited.
- 31:40Tim recalls wearing a mock neck for that first performance and still has the five-minute set archived on YouTube.
- 32:00Tim was a natural class clown his whole life and realized comedy was the only thing he was genuinely good at.
- 32:12By May 2001, after about a year and a half of comedy, Tim got shot, which changed everything.
- 8 min
Yannis details the full story of working the door at a drug-dealer-heavy club night, how clubs cycle from white to black promotion before closing, a fatal hit-and-run outside the club, and the night his promoter friend's club scene led to him getting shot in a car.
12moments
- 32:53Club Envy was one of the hot spots in 1990s New York, promoted on Hot 97 radio.
- 33:41Tim recounts a shooting at Envy: a drug dealer was shot multiple times in his car, drove away dying, and ran over a promising young director walking home from sushi in Soho.
- 34:19New York clubs start out white and expensive but don't make money because white people won't pay for anything.
- 35:03When clubs are dying, owners bring in black promoters for hip-hop parties to cash in before shutdown, racing against cops and community boards.
- 36:10Hip-hop parties back then were fun but dangerous—things just happened there.
- 36:43Working the front register, Tim saw what drug dealers pulled out of their pockets: wads of cash like a triple cheeseburger, not credit cards.
- 37:19Mid-level drug dealers with full pockets would accidentally overpay—once gave Tim a thousand dollars without caring.
- 37:48Tim got shot outside Club Envy that night after turning down a ride from his promoter buddy.
- 38:52Getting shot in a car felt ominous because you can't run anywhere—assassins use cars for that reason—and he was shot at point-blank range.
- 39:49After the shooting, Tim went from a carefree kid to someone plagued by anxiety and questioning the point of everything, compounded when 9/11 happened months later.
- 40:17Tim developed panic attacks on the subway in summer 2001 he couldn't control or understand, hyperventilating and stiffing up without knowing why.
- 40:45Then 9/11 happened, adding national trauma to his existing PTSD and anxiety.
Michelle WolfEnvyCheetahHot 97
- 5 min
Yannis describes developing PTSD and panic attacks after being shot, then having 9/11 happen months later while his ex-girlfriend, a Manhattan DA, debated going into work downtown.
10moments
- 40:54Tim was in New York around 9/11, staying near his dad, and felt angry and worried about him.
- 41:05His ex-girlfriend, a Manhattan DA, woke him up in Brooklyn to tell him about the attacks.
- 41:17She casually asked whether she should go to work downtown, not grasping the severity yet.
- 41:33His dad, a wine salesman, thought business would resume the next day and he'd be slinging Pinot Grigio.
- 42:08Tim became a disaster relief case worker for Project Life, a Lutheran Social Services agency, starting in January 2002.
- 42:39The program served anyone who lost family, employment, or housing, or could prove they were affected by 9/11.
- 43:02He'd present clients' cases to the Unmet Needs Table, where charities decided whether to grant funding.
- 43:55Lower Manhattan was shut down for weeks; his father's Battery Park City neighborhood was evacuated to hotels.
- 44:18Right after 9/11 was actually the best time to buy property downtown, though the area was burning and smoking for weeks.
- 45:18A friend offered him the job while Tim was having panic attacks, bombing at comedy shows, and considering leaving stand-up altogether.
9/11Lutheran Social ServicesBattery Park CityBrooklynManhattan DA's officeProject LifeLutheran Disaster Response in New YorkLower Manhattan+5 more
- 5 min
Yannis explains taking a job as a case worker for Project Life through Lutheran Social Services, helping 9/11 victims get FEMA and charity funding, and his overwhelming first day meeting a grieving Windows on the World pastry chef.
9moments
- 46:09Tim remembers his first day as a 9/11 disaster relief caseworker, getting dumped with ten cases immediately.
- 47:03His first client was a pastry chef from Windows on the World who lost all his coworkers in the attacks.
- 47:32The chef broke down crying in the cubicle, and Tim realized he wasn't equipped to handle real trauma.
- 48:16Tim explains that at 26, having PTSD himself, he'd never experienced anything genuinely real before this job.
- 48:35Counter-transference in social work means inexperienced caseworkers bring home their clients' suffering and can't sleep.
- 49:26Tim's coworkers in the program included a pastor, an actor, and career social workers, all essentially unprepared.
- 49:46A lot of fraud happened because in the post-9/11 environment, nobody wanted to turn down someone claiming to be in need.
- 50:10Tim argues that young people romanticize socialism because they don't understand human nature—people are fundamentally selfish and will lie for survival.
- 50:49The fraudsters Tim encountered were manipulative, some clearly professional grifters who made fraud a practice.
- 6 min
Stories of wealthy, entitled 9/11 claimants gaming the system for mortgage assistance, including a Florida commuter husband and his Gucci-clad wife getting $35k/month covered by FEMA, contrasted with genuinely hardworking immigrant clients.
11moments
- 51:24Freelance photographers lost business because people stopped wanting portraits when they were sad.
- 51:46Tim distributed food vouchers to Bear Stearns attorneys who ended up needing them.
- 52:04One client's husband commuted from Florida, living in a mansion there while maintaining a $35,000-a-month Manhattan mortgage.
- 52:58The wealthy couple claimed they needed their mortgage paid despite their obvious affluence.
- 53:25FEMA paid the $35,000 monthly mortgage for 18 months without requiring the couple to compromise their lifestyle.
- 54:04Tim observed the woman would eventually need to work retail and accept a reality check on her expenses.
- 54:44Cab drivers and Millennium Hotel workers were the groups most devastated by the area's economic collapse.
- 55:19After two and a half years doing this work, Tim could distinguish between genuinely desperate people and those seeking handouts.
- 55:37Immigrants wanted the ability to work; Americans wanted the money itself.
- 56:00People felt their jobs and lives were taken, with no replacement job setup and bills still coming due.
- 56:22Landlords and banks don't care about circumstances—rent and mortgage payments keep coming regardless of disaster.
FEMABear StearnsMillennium Hilton
- 3 min
Yannis recounts the case that stuck with him most: a young widow whose husband died in the towers just after their baby was born, her descent into agoraphobia, and the shrine he saw in her home.
7moments
- 56:36Tim recalls meeting a widow in her 20s whose husband was in the towers when he was killed, leaving her with a one-month-old baby.
- 57:03She developed agoraphobia and couldn't leave the house as New York became a trigger for her traumatic memories.
- 57:39Tim connects her 9/11 PTSD—losing her husband and raising a newborn alone—to his own panic attacks and anxiety, which intensified hearing her story.
- 58:01She had vivid nightmares of her husband being pulverized, trapped in the building, which she described to Tim in detail.
- 58:18Tim visited her house where she had built a shrine with candles, a flag, and photos of her dead husband.
- 58:45The reality of her permanent sadness hit Tim hard—there was no happy ending, no way to resolve her grief.
- 59:03The imagery and feelings from that visit stay with Tim to this day: pure sadness and tragedy.
- 4 min
Yannis reflects on the near-death moment of being shot and what it taught him about not wanting to die as a people-pleaser, using the analogy of a lion fighting a buffalo to the end.
9moments
- 59:37Getting shot taught Tim that you're not really in control and could die at any moment — whether old with prostate cancer or young getting pulverized in a building.
- 1:00:31When he was shot, there was a moment where he felt like he didn't do what he wanted and wasn't who he wanted to be — just a class clown trying to please everyone.
- 1:01:18Tim realized he doesn't want that feeling again; when his moment comes, he wants to have lived the way he wanted and died like a lion.
- 1:01:32A lion with no strength left still tries to kill a buffalo — that's the point of life for a conscious being, to not be scared and just die like a lion.
- 1:02:14On whether young creative people should have traumatic experiences before pursuing their dreams: Tim hopes some don't, so he has people to watch and enjoy.
- 1:02:35Reality is coming for everybody, no matter who you are or how much money you have — Matt Miller, a 26-year-old rapper, is dead.
- 1:02:46If you step on people's heads, compromise your principles, or treat your friends like shit to climb up, your awakening is coming for you.
- 1:03:07When you're hurt, the people around you won't be the famous ones you tried to climb — they'll be your actual friends.
- 1:03:29You still need to make money in America for medicine and long-term illness because there's no single payer — you're on your own.
- 3 min
Riff on how social media juxtaposes cancer GoFundMe pleas with comedy show promos, then a tangent into rich people's Montana bunkers and billionaires plotting how to keep staff loyal if the money system collapses, tying into eunuchs and History Hyenas podcast.
8moments
- 1:04:02Every GoFundMe on social media is someone asking for help, creating emotional whiplash between posts about new jobs and posts about cancer bills.
- 1:04:53Tim on the trap of social media: you see a desperate cancer fundraiser, then immediately a comedian promoting their next show.
- 1:05:06Reality check—the person with cancer ends up headlining a comedy club and getting a special deal while their medical debt persists.
- 1:05:29History Hyenas is a podcast Tim does with Chris DiStefano exploring moments where history and nature intersect.
- 1:05:51Recent episode of History Hyenas focused on eunuchs and their historical role.
- 1:06:02The show celebrates nature because that's where truth lives, disconnected from the coddling amenities of modernity.
- 1:06:24Humans survived by mimicking animals—learning to wear coats from animal fur, following migration patterns to food sources.
- 1:06:42Watching nature's vicious and brutal reality makes modern concerns seem silly by comparison.
History HyenasGoFundMeChris DistefanoEllen DeGeneresStand Up NY
- 5 min
Extended riff on wealthy people buying Montana ranches as doomsday escape hatches, fleeing LA fires by helicopter while their staff burns, and how even the most moral people try to tax evade, undermining any illusion of shared social responsibility.
10moments
- 1:07:07Tim observes that wealthy people are buying property in Montana, visible across their Instagrams where they pose on horses pretending to be cowboys.
- 1:07:41He questions why they're purchasing Montana property beyond the aesthetic, suspecting it's a fallback plan for when civil unrest hits major cities.
- 1:07:55When LA fires erupted, rich people escaped in Sikorsky helicopters from Pacific Palisades and Malibu while their staff burned, much like Nixon's departure.
- 1:08:20His theory: during massive civil unrest, billionaires will flee to Montana by helicopter with armed guards, food, and security while everyone else tweets about social issues.
- 1:08:51A tech writer attended a wealth creation seminar where seven billionaires pulled him aside and asked how to keep staff loyal once the money system collapses.
- 1:09:22Tim notes this isn't conspiracy—it's billionaires genuinely planning ahead, thinking about how to control people when conventional currency fails.
- 1:09:56People claim we've never tried socialism, but Tim argues they don't grasp that elevating the group erodes individual rights.
- 1:10:30He acknowledges many wealthy people earned their money through intelligence and cunning and do create jobs, but questions whether they'll game whatever system exists.
- 1:10:58Tim argues that when it comes to taxes, everyone tries to evade them—that's literally what accountants are hired to do.
- 1:11:16The most moral, upstanding people on the planet don't want to pay taxes either, so the entire system relies on people trying to avoid payment.
- 8 min
Riff on comedians being narcissistic, mentally unstable people who've forgotten their place, contrasted with rich people's boredom-driven interest in stand-up, leading into why Long Island culturally refuses to be impressed by fame or money.
11moments
- 1:12:54Comedians are mentally ill people who are lucky to have charisma and people wanted to listen to them.
- 1:13:05Without comedy, comedians and their friends would be staring at walls, reciting facts, counting napkins, or engaging in worse behavior.
- 1:13:35Tim on comedians becoming activists: they don't shit on themselves anymore and don't understand they are the village idiot.
- 1:13:57Comedians are so narcissistic they forget they're people who can't function, pay their bills, or keep their clothes off the floor.
- 1:14:23Rich people dismiss comedians with Netflix specials, comparing performing in front of cameras to getting paid by someone wealthy enough to be bored.
- 1:14:52Tim quotes Bronx Tale: nobody cares, you got your mother and father and two or three friends, and that's it.
- 1:15:24In LA at the end of every week, if you're not famous, hot, or rich, you have to go home because nobody gives a shit about you.
- 1:15:51No poor person is selling comedians as talent agents; only rich, bored people become agents and get their wealth from fucking or family connections.
- 1:16:30Long Island residents don't care about Seinfeld or Amy Schumer; you can't get famous enough for these people to respect you.
- 1:18:36Long Island people's response to celebrity and wealth is fuck you, we don't need it, we're happy here, which scares others because nobody there is striving and climbing.
- 1:19:06Long Island people fuck each other's wives and husbands as their main source of adrenaline and excitement in married life with kids and houses.
Long IslandBilly JoelLos AngelesNetflixBronx TaleSeinfeldGoldman SachsKentucky+1 more
- 7 min
Closing conversation about why Long Islanders cheat on spouses for excitement, Yannis's plans to move past stand-up into scripted TV inspired by Succession and his 2009 mortgage industry stories, plugs for History Hyenas and the show, and sign-off.
9moments
- 1:20:14Tim announces contest details: review the podcast on iTunes, screenshot it, and enter to win a custom painting.
- 1:20:58Tim says he's shot a pilot and might become famous, but he's staying in Long Island regardless.
- 1:21:12Long Island is where he's dying because no one's made a good argument for anywhere else—not Brooklyn with its slam poetry and white people crying about slavery.
- 1:21:36He needs to stay within 45 minutes of a good steakhouse he likes, and proximity to the city matters for restaurants.
- 1:22:02Tim realized after shooting the pilot that what people hate about Long Island is stuff he's already done—tried the city, did the thing—and it's not even a thing.
- 1:22:39He's getting sick of stand-up and the transactional nature of telling jokes and leaving; he wants to make something real.
- 1:23:04Learning multiple skills makes you valuable to investors down the road when you pitch an idea with real competence behind it.
- 1:24:47Tim's developing a show about his time in the mortgage industry in 2009 after it collapsed—stories that need high-end production, not just late-night stand-up chuckles.
- 1:25:46Succession nails the portrayal of powerful families because they're a different breed; he's trying to do something similar about Long Island with the pilot he just shot.
FacebookSuccessionLong IslandAdam McKaymortgage industryBrooklynRedcomp