Episode 335 · Post-Ben
The Tim Dillon Show #335
Feb 23, 2023 · 1:04:14 · 381,000 views · 31 segments, 134 moments indexed
In this episode Tim rants about President Biden's visit to Ukraine and shares some of his thoughts on how the war could end.
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- 2 min
Tim reads an ad for Honey, the browser extension that automatically finds and applies coupon codes when shopping online, riffing on relatives who used to clip paper coupons.
4moments
- Tim describes the feeling of finding a good deal as making him feel smart, lucky, and excited.
- Tim recalls relatives who would clip coupons and take them to the grocery store, contrasting that with modern internet coupon hunting.
- How Honey works: click the button at checkout, wait a few seconds while it searches, and watch prices drop if a coupon is found.
- Tim shares a personal example of ordering clothes online and saving money thanks to a Honey coupon.
- 1 min
Tim lists upcoming tour stops including Monterey, Vancouver, Napa, Palm Beach, Raleigh, and several New York/New Jersey dates.
1moment
- Tim announces tour dates starting tomorrow in Monterey, California, through April with stops in Vancouver, Napa, Palm Beach, Raleigh, Inglewood, Huntington, and New Brunswick.
- 1 min
- 1 min
Arizona: Retirees vs Psychopaths
#Tim describes Arizona as evenly split between retirees and psychopaths who constantly try to pull each other to their side like a tug of war.
2moments
- Arizona's two largest demographic groups are retirees and psychotic people, creating a natural tension Tim compares to a tug-of-war.
- Retirees occasionally pull psychopaths toward normalcy, telling them to chill out and go play golf instead.
- 2 min
Becoming the Official Podcast Sponsor of the Ukraine War
#Tim jokes that his show has beaten other podcasts to become the official sponsor of the Ukraine war, and lays out how the one-year mark has shifted from hoping for peace to America declaring Russia must lose.
5moments
- Tim announces The Tim Dillon Show has beaten other podcasts to become the official sponsor of the Ukraine war.
- As official Ukraine war sponsor, Tim clarifies they don't want the war to continue, but if it does, war can teach beautiful things about ourselves.
- Tim compares the show's sponsorship position to America's: both sponsor the Ukraine war while claiming not to want it to keep going.
- A year into the invasion, the original idea was there would be some push for peace, but that hasn't happened.
- Biden has stated Russia will never win in Ukraine, making the American position that Russia must lose rather than seeking peace between both countries.
Ukraine warJoe BidenRussiaUnited StatesLast Podcast on the LeftMy Favorite MurderGirls Got to Eat
- 2 min
Tim reacts to Biden's surprise trip to Kiev to meet Zelensky, joking that handlers want him to look tough despite being frail, and notes another $500 million in military aid pledged.
6moments
- Biden made a surprise visit to Kiev on Monday, dressed up to look tough despite being old and enfeebled.
- After a 10-hour overnight train ride he probably slept through, Biden and Zelinski walked the streets of Kiev during an air raid siren.
- Tim: the people worried Biden isn't a good candidate seem to want him dead, sending him to walk around in public with Zelinski.
- Biden was in Kiev for five hours and promised another $500 million in military aid.
- Ukraine now wants real arms to push into Red Square and bring down Russia's regime.
- This has become sad—civilians in Ukraine and drafted Russians are having their lives thrown into a black hole.
Joe BidenRed SquareRussiaUkraineVolodymyr ZelenskyyKiev
- 2 min
America Loves This War
#Tim argues the U.S. is secretly enjoying the prolonged Ukraine conflict because it distracts from domestic problems like train derailments and hungry kids, comparing it to a new sports season.
4moments
- America loves the Ukraine war because it's a war between white people where we can throw hundreds of billions at weapons industries.
- The Ukraine war conveniently redirects attention from domestic problems like derailing trains with poison and kids being refused lunch in Ohio.
- Since the Super Bowl ended, the Ukraine war has become the new entertainment and pastime for Americans.
- The New York Times celebrates weapons being sent to Ukraine rather than reporting on any steps toward peace or agreements to stop fighting.
- 1 min
Reading a New York Times piece about upgraded weapons shipments, Tim mocks the shifting line between 'offensive' and 'defensive' aid as meaningless.
3moments
- Tim reads NYT framing of weapons shipments: initially described as defensive, now openly acknowledged as upgraded offensive arms for Ukraine.
- The distinction between offensive and defensive weapons was always arbitrary—nations just needed political cover before escalating.
- Tim unpacks the logic: nobody really knows if weapons are for defense or expanding the war scope, but the U.S. sends them anyway and calls it good old-fashioned money laundering and empire building.
- 1 min
Boris Johnson Photo-Op Strategy, Pitching Weinstein and Cosby
#Tim riffs that embattled leaders get a popularity boost by walking with Zelensky in Kiev, and jokingly suggests sending Harvey Weinstein or Bill Cosby to do the same.
3moments
- Boris Johnson visited Zelinski in Kyiv to appear strapping and cool, boosting his numbers.
- Tim pitches canceled celebrities doing the same thing—have Harvey Weinstein walk with Zelinski down a main street in Kyiv for a polling boost.
- Bill Cosby's on tour, Tim's got his first stop.
Joe BidenVolodymyr ZelenskyyBoris JohnsonHarvey WeinsteinBill Cosby
- 4 min
Tim reads a New Yorker piece about using shamans, ayahuasca, and military chaplains trained in 'spiritual resilience' to help Ukrainians cope, arguing that ending the war would help more than microdosing.
7moments
- New Yorker article proposes using psychedelics to heal Ukrainian trauma instead of ending the war itself.
- Tim notes the event promotes psychological resilience while refusing to pursue peace talks or stop the conflict.
- The U.S. wants to continue the war while telling Ukrainians to use psychedelic drugs to cope with it.
- Military chaplains would be trained as shamans to guide troops through microdosing and Ayahuasca therapy.
- Tim argues stopping the actual trauma is more effective therapy than psychedelics while keeping the war going.
- As the official sponsor of the Ukraine war, the U.S. has no clear objectives or national interest in prolonging it.
- Tim suggests a 20-year war that bleeds Russia dry would be America's best-case scenario.
psychedelicsThe New YorkerVladimir PutinUkraine
- 2 min
Tim covers Xi Jinping's planned trip to Moscow to push multi-party peace talks, sarcastically noting China now seems to be running the world while the U.S. pushes ayahuasca retreats instead of diplomacy.
5moments
- Tim notes America is the official sponsor of the Ukraine war and will continue providing support.
- China's president Xi Jinping is expected to push for multi-party peace talks during a Moscow trip.
- Tim contrasts China stepping up to broker peace against America proceeding with ayahuasca retreats.
- Maybe China won't actually end the war either—nobody wants this war to end.
- Tim has a bit on stage about how no one wants the war to end and they're stuck in it.
- 2 min
Nobody Actually Wants This War to End
#Tim argues the war is accomplishing too much for too many financial interests for anyone, including possibly China, to genuinely want it to stop.
5moments
- Nobody wants the war to end—it accomplishes a lot of things for people with financial interests in it.
- Climate change is hitting everyone in America, so why are people in East Palestine, Ohio getting all the attention?
- His friend's waterfront property in Florida got destroyed down to the studs, but at least she wanted to renovate anyway and has a place upstate.
- Tim questions why East Palestine residents keep complaining about the train derailment with chemicals instead of accepting their headaches and itchiness.
- The derailment puts East Palestine on the map.
East Palestine, OhioChinaFloridaHudson ValleyLos Angeles
- 4 min
Tim mocks residents of East Palestine, Ohio complaining about the toxic train derailment and controlled burn, comparing their suffering unfavorably to Florida hurricane damage and suggesting they're overreacting for attention.
8moments
- Tim dismisses East Palestine residents' complaints about black smoke, headaches, and screaming children as lacking shared sacrifice.
- People are overreacting to the derailment; Tim compares it to 9/11 responders who breathed toxic air and some survived.
- Tim questions whether East Palestine residents just want attention now that the town is finally being talked about.
- He frames the disaster as a culture of reality TV freaks seeking Hollywood attention rather than a genuine crisis.
- Tim expresses confusion about why the train derailment dominates news when he and Los Angeles friends face a freezing winter.
- People need to stop being paranoid and paranoid about everything; just get outside and throw a frisbee.
- Tim argues the government wouldn't lie about water safety or air quality just to prevent mass panic.
- The scenario of delayed illnesses years later sounds like a movie, not something that would actually happen.
East Palestine, OhioOhioGround ZeroLos Angeles
- 2 min
Turning the Chemical Spill into a Personal Brand
#Tim jokes that East Palestine residents, especially attractive ones or young activists, should use the disaster to become influencers like Parkland survivors or Greta Thunberg.
4moments
- Tim advises good-looking people in East Palestine to capitalize on the chemical spill by becoming influencers, dancing in front of the smoke to get noticed.
- Parkland shooting survivors and Greta Thunberg built fame from their moments—climate activists now have the same opportunity without needing college or a bad job.
- People reporting headaches, chest tightness, and eye pain are actually just anxious about getting national attention, not experiencing real toxic exposure effects.
- Tim dismisses someone claiming the worst cough of their life as drama queen behavior during the spill.
East Palestine, OhioGreta ThunbergParklandBuzzFeed News
- 2 min
Tim continues downplaying the derailment, describing the controlled burn of vinyl chloride and insisting people should focus on the 'sweetness' in the smell rather than the danger.
6moments
- Nearly one million pounds of vinyl chloride were on the train that flipped; EPA confirms it entered the Ohio River Basin serving 25 million people.
- Vinyl chloride is a brain, lung, blood, and liver carcinogen — one of the deadliest environmental emergencies in decades that no one talks about.
- Authorities decided to burn off hundreds of thousands of gallons because if the train had exploded, shrapnel would have traveled a mile, like a Final Destination scenario.
- Tim on the controlled burn strategy: they decided to burn the chemicals and then tell everyone it's just chill.
- The real problem is people aren't acting chill — they should pretend nothing's happening instead of suffering from anxiety.
- Locals complaining about the smell being a mix of super glue and bleach with a bit of sweetness.
East Palestine, Ohiovinyl chlorideOhio River Basin
- 4 min
Tim discusses Ohio ending free school lunches from the COVID era, with kids' trays literally being taken back if they can't pay, and riffs on whether hunger might motivate children.
7moments
- Ohio school officials are taking lunch trays away from children whose parents cannot pay the two to three dollar daily fee after the free COVID lunch program ended.
- Tim contrasts the tray-taking policy with billions in weapons funding sent to Ukraine, questioning the priorities.
- Tim considers whether hunger might be intentional motivation, citing his father's saying about a hungry dog running the farthest.
- If schools can afford weapons funding elsewhere, why not enough money to feed all children lunch?
- Tim theorizes the real reason might be that children are overweight and the school is rationing food as a fitness measure.
- He wonders if free lunches create complacency in kids, or if they're actually necessary for focus and learning.
- Children who arrive late to school panic about missing breakfast, and many no longer eat meals at home before arriving.
- 3 min
Whether Hungry Kids Should Eat Breakfast
#Tim spins out an extended riff imagining a neglectful home life for kids denied school breakfast, questioning aloud whether feeding hungry children is actually beneficial.
5moments
- Tim describes waking up to find your mother drunk in a house dress, laughing and crying at old pictures while your father is dead or missing.
- Kids without breakfast at home can't replicate the 1950s commercial fantasy, and some parents are already at work when they wake up.
- Tim expresses genuine uncertainty about whether children should have school breakfast, saying he's in the middle on the question.
- Eating a big lunch ruined his opportunities because the carbohydrates and sugar made him fall asleep or zone out in his chair.
- Maybe the solution is to keep kids on a fast and healthy, rather than feeding them breakfast at all.
- 1 min
Tim reads an ad for Bespoke Post's Box of Awesome subscription gift boxes tailored to personal interests.
2moments
- Tim pitches Box of Awesome: a monthly subscription of curated items worth seventy dollars, tailored to interests like camping, cocktails, or grilling.
- Ninety percent of products come from small American brands, and subscribers can skip or cancel anytime.
- 2 min
Tim personally endorses Helix mattresses, describing the sleep quiz and comparing them favorably to more expensive beds he's owned.
4moments
- Tim describes his Helix mattresses at his Long Island house and says guests prefer them to his more expensive beds.
- The Helix sleep quiz assesses your sleeping position and temperature preferences to match you with the right mattress.
- Tim notes the personalized mattress ships free, with a 100-night trial and 10-15 year warranty backing the product.
- He claims Helix is one of the few products the show actually uses and endorses, with universal approval from everyone he knows.
- 5 min
Tim doubles down that East Palestine residents' headaches and rashes are due to bad diet, sugar, and dairy rather than the vinyl chloride, and dismisses a mother's account of her son's violent illness as lying.
7moments
- Residents of East Palestine, Ohio are being dramatic and ungrateful about the chemical spill.
- Tim attributes residents' headaches primarily to bad diet—high sugar and carbs—rather than vinyl chloride.
- Jumping to blame a train explosion of 11 cars full of vinyl chloride for symptoms is illogical when dairy and nightshades cause similar rashes and itching.
- Diet-related illnesses in Ohio are being wrongfully blamed on 11 train cars of burning vinyl chloride.
- A mother's account of her son violently shaking and vomiting after smelling chemicals is dismissed as a common childhood nightmare reaction.
- Kids wake up shaking and projectile vomiting all the time from nightmares about losing the big game or the boogeyman chasing them through cornfields.
- The woman is conflating two unrelated things: her son's middle-of-the-night exorcist-like episode with the burning vinyl chloride in the air and water.
- 1 min
Tim reacts to a local news clip of East Palestine residents describing where they were and how they watched the explosion, then getting back to work quickly.
5moments
- Resident jumped out of bed when the derailment happened, watched it unfold while others stayed inside until forced to evacuate.
- First thought was suicide on the railroad tracks, not chemical disaster, given the area's history.
- Another resident was downtown, saw flames from the corner of Clark Street, initially thought their shop was on fire.
- Stood watching the fire for about twenty minutes because nobody knew what was actually happening.
- The building sustained damage in the back, but residents were ordered back to work as soon as evacuation lifted.
- 5 min
Anti-Work Sentiment and the Rash Couple
#Tim mocks a couple who broke out in rashes near the derailment, pivots into a riff about how everyone in America thinks work is unhealthy for various groups, and insists work is actually good for people.
8moments
- Tim argues work helps people and dismisses anti-work sentiment about children, elderly, disabled, and terminally ill people not working.
- People returning to their jobs after the chemical explosion is encouraging because work provides the real escape from the situation.
- Tim criticizes the couple for cohabiting outside marriage as a huge problem before addressing anything about their rash symptoms.
- The government has mismanaged the disaster by failing to tell residents the chemical spill is actually a positive thing.
- America is losing the propaganda war in soft power and needs to convince people how lucky they are to live where chemicals are so prevalent.
- Residents should focus on the abundance and synthesizability of vinyl chloride rather than complaining about bleeding eyes and skin falling off.
- Tim floats the possibility that some residents actually needed vinyl chloride and now it's free for them as a silver lining.
- He compares the chemical spill to a Lucky Charms truck overturning and people being knee-deep in marshmallows as a fortunate occurrence.
Ohio train derailmentvinyl chloridegovernmentanti-work sentimentsoft power
- 1 min
Government Needs Better Propaganda
#Tim argues the U.S. government is losing the 'soft power' propaganda war by failing to convince East Palestine residents how lucky they are to live somewhere with abundant chemicals.
2moments
- Tim plays a clip of a politician's speech to Ohio and Pennsylvania about not being forgotten and standing with voters.
- Tim expresses excitement about hearing from the mayor in the clip, calling him amazing.
- 1 min
The Chemical Abundance Bit
#Tim builds out an absurd riff about how lucky Americans are to have so much vinyl chloride that it occasionally spills, comparing it to living somewhere with abundant resources.
4moments
- Tim was frustrated last night and stands by comments he made.
- He likes the man's DXL shirt and his defense of his town.
- Suggests doing a benefit comedy show for East Palestine, Ohio residents.
- Tim doesn't fear the chemicals and thinks residents are complaining over nothing, just routine leprosy.
East Palestine, Ohiochemical spill incidents
- 1 min
What If Someone Needed the Vinyl Chloride
#Tim extends the bit, joking that some residents might have actually needed free vinyl chloride, comparing it to a truck of Lucky Charms toppling over.
2moments
- Tim proposes doing a benefit show for East Palestine, Ohio residents affected by the chemical disaster.
- His plan: use the money raised to buy more vinyl chloride to replace what they lost.
- 1 min
Tim covers Trump's visit to the derailment site and reacts to a local mayor's press conference, joking about his purple DXL shirt.
2moments
- Tim plans a benefit show for East Palestine, Ohio, wants it to be a big production with real tickets
- Everyone uses ExpressVPN because companies and government spy on you and sell your information
- 1 min
Pitching a Benefit Show for East Palestine
#Tim floats the idea of doing a real comedy benefit show for East Palestine, Ohio residents, joking the proceeds could buy them more vinyl chloride.
- 1 min
Tim reads an ad for ExpressVPN, warning against relying on incognito mode and promoting three months free.
2moments
- Tim jokes about shipping tranq dope while pivoting to an e-commerce business pitch.
- He explains that origination and client acquisition require focus on the front office.
- 2 min
Tim reads an ad for ShipStation, describing how it handles shipping logistics and integrates with major e-commerce platforms.
2moments
- Tim asks how to manage shipping and order fulfillment, introducing ShipStation as the solution.
- Tranq is a veterinary drug worsening the fentanyl crisis, now what everyone's using instead.
ShipStationtranq
- 7 min
Tim details news coverage of tranq (xylazine mixed with fentanyl), describing the necrotic, zombie-like wounds it causes on users' bodies and comparing it to the earlier bath salts panic.
10moments
- Fentanyl isn't strong enough anymore—people need xylazine, an animal tranquilizer, to escape the nightmare of modern life.
- Bath salts started the trend of increasingly toxic drug combinations, with users exhibiting inhuman behavior like eating faces.
- Dealers mix xylazine into fentanyl to save money and enhance the high, creating an arms race with authorities.
- Tranq dope is zombifying users' bodies, causing severe necrotic wounds, lesions, and amputations at injection sites.
- A 28-year-old user can't stop despite the drug tearing his body apart—he has no skin on his hands, just exposed tendons and bones.
- Parents should check their children's hands for missing skin as a sign they're on tranq dope.
- Tranq causes necrotic skin death similar to a brown recluse spider bite, leaving hard dead tissue you can knock on.
- News coverage frames tranq users as real-life zombies with rotten flesh, treating it like a bad movie that's actually happening.
- A woman shown in a news segment appears to be on tranq dope based on her physical appearance and condition.
- Crack cocaine no longer satisfies users—they've moved on to tranq because even hard drugs won't work anymore.
Nathan ClarkRudy EugeneSam Smith
- 2 min
Inviting Tranq Users to Call the Show
#Tim wraps up the tranq segment by weighing the pros and cons of the drug and invites any listeners who use tranq to come on the show via Zoom to describe the experience, then signs off.
7moments
- A woman described tranq as a narcotic nightmare where she blacked out completely and moved like a chameleon before seeking detox.
- Suppliers are mixing tranq into an already deadly fentanyl supply; users develop necrotic skin lesions that signal they're on the new street drug.
- A mental health professional claims she uses tranq occasionally and can do it responsibly.
- Tranq is xylazine, a tranquilizer strong enough for horses; mixed with fentanyl it produces dancing and euphoria before a sudden zombie-like trance.
- Tim won't tell people what to do for fun because they need to figure it out themselves.
- The downsides of tranq potentially outweigh the dancing and euphoria, but Tim leaves the decision to individual users.
- Tim invites tranq users to call in via Zoom to describe what the drug is like, as long as they stay out of the studio.
tranquilizerRochelle Long