Episode 297 · The Ben Avery Era
Classic tier — a personal pick, not a popularity ranking#297 - The Lodge From Hell | The Tim Dillon Show
May 8, 2022 · 1:18:39 · 461,000 views · 22 segments, 156 moments indexed
Live from the Daintree Rainforest, Tim and Sam Tallent and Ben have had a horrible stay at a remote resort, weigh in on Bobby Lee vs Brendan Schaub, and discuss the controversy that is Roe v Wade.
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- 2 min
Cold Open: The Bobby Lee vs Brendan Schaub Feud Setup
#Tim opens by grilling Brendan Sha and Bobby Lee on the podcast drama unfolding between Bobby Lee, Brendan Schaub, Annie Letterman, and Kalila, framing it in a satirical newscaster voice and comparing its importance to Roe v. Wade.
4moments
- Bobby and Kalila went on H3 podcast
- Tim asks for straight answers about accusations being thrown at Brendan Schaub
- Tim describes the podcast community as flipped upside down over the feud
- Tim connects the Bobby Lee and Brendan Schaub beef to Roe v. Wade being overturned
Bobby LeeBrendan SchaubH3podcast feudsKalila
- 4 min
Reporting Live From the Rainforest on the Podcast Beef
#Tim claims he's covering the Bobby Lee/Brendan Schaub scandal from a rainforest hotel, running up to indigenous tribespeople trying to get their take, and mock-agonizing over his disconnect from the drama while insisting Schaub has "goons."
8moments
- Tim jokes about what constitutes a woman in the context of inappropriate passes at women.
- Tim lists a viral clip he's covering about Bobby Lee exposing Brendan Schaub and his goons as bullies.
- Tim went to a rainforest hotel and is unhappy despite spending a lot of money.
- Indigenous tribes live in the world's oldest rainforest, 180 million years old, in the area where Tim is staying.
- Tim runs up to indigenous people in the rainforest asking them about Bobby Lee, Kahlila, and Annie Letterman instead of letting them gather fruit.
- Brendan Schaub has a pirate ship of goons going after Bobby Lee, who is Korean.
- Tim feels disconnected and like a victim of his own success, unable to stay connected to the issues while in the rainforest trying to lead people to Christ.
- Tim says he cannot cover the Bobby Lee clip because many people don't want him to cover it.
- 4 min
Playing the Bobby Lee Clip and Analyzing the Threats
#Tim plays and reacts to an actual Bobby Lee interview clip describing threatening phone calls he says he received, then muses on whether Brendan Schaub really has a "goon squad" and whether the allegations are fair given Tim's own positive experiences with Schaub.
10moments
- Tim explains this is news he has to cover because of potential fallout from a situation with Bobby Lee.
- The issue was supposedly resolved after a promise Bobby wouldn't discuss it again, but he went on Flagrant 2 and talked about it anyway.
- There was a text from Bobby's team alluding to possibly suing people over the misunderstanding.
- Bobby received a call from a comedian people assumed was him, trying to pick up women at his podcast.
- It wasn't just one person — a group of podcasters called Bobby threatening to expose him and ruin his career.
- Bobby was alone at dinner in Oklahoma when he got the calls, and describes the experience as very traumatic.
- Tim notes Brendan Schaub has always been nice to him and his experiences have been overwhelmingly positive.
- Brendan Schaub is not the heir to Richard Pryor and probably never will be.
- Tim has never seen Brendan's standup and describes him as a very controversial figure.
- Brendan is very new to standup, and it takes years to become good at it, sometimes it never happens at all.
BrendanRichard Pryor
- 6 min
Brendan Schaub, Standup Snobbery, and 'Finding a Pathway to Love'
#Tim defends Schaub as new to standup but not deserving of a goon-squad reputation, riffs on late-career comedians, declares himself too rich and disconnected to care about podcast drama, and lands on his mantra of wishing everyone would find "pathways to love."
11moments
- Brendan Schaub may become the greatest comedian ever, but Tim doesn't know if he runs a goon squad intimidating people.
- Bobby Lee's claims about 'they' are ominous, but Tim's personal experience with Brendan has been overwhelmingly positive.
- Tim avoids spending time with comedians because they're stupid and poor, which makes it tough.
- He's never done Tiger Belly and doesn't care about appearing on other people's shows anymore.
- People are so fast and loose with the truth, yet Tim covers these scandals the way he covers Roe v. Wade—agnostically but necessarily.
- The country is headed toward either a Christian theocracy or San Francisco-style improv theater, neither of which appeals to him.
- Standup is weird; people resent Brendan because he started late and wasn't good, but he's trying hard and probably improving.
- Brendan's making money and that's fine, even if he'll never win the Mark Twain Prize for humor.
- Standup has been polluted by garbage for years.
- Tim transitions into an Every Man Jack advertisement, praising their naturally derived grooming products.
- If you need a PhD to pronounce the ingredients in body wash, it's not natural or clean.
Brendan SchaubEvery Man JackRoe v. WadeCurtis YarvinBobby LeeTiger BellyMark Twain Prize for American HumorAnnie+1 more
- 2 min
Tim reads a sponsor spot for Every Man Jack men's grooming products, praising the sandalwood and cedarwood scents and pushing the Dylan discount code.
6moments
- Tim endorses Every Man Jack's sandalwood body wash and shampoo
- Tim's favorite scents are Cedarwood and sea salt, inspired by the outdoors
- His wife approves of the naturally derived ingredients and loves how it smells on him
- Every Man Jack avoids harsh chemicals, parabens, and dyes that can dry out skin
- Products contain activated charcoal, caffeine, green tea, coconut oil, and shea butter
- Use code Dylan for 20% off at Every Man Jack dot com; supporting sponsors supports the show
- 4 min
The Bobby Lee Rape Hypothetical Bit
#With Sam Talent now present, Tim escalates a bizarre extended hypothetical about being brutally raped by Brendan Schaub and choosing to keep quiet about it to protect "the work," riffing on consent and comedy-world gossip.
8moments
- Tim on the phenomenon of MMA fighters and athletes doing comedy and people being angry about it.
- Tim says he stands with Brendan Schaub because he fears him most physically, not because of allegations.
- The appeal of liking someone you're supposed to hate.
- Tim tries to stay diplomatic about interpersonal drama between men and women in the comedy world.
- If Brendan Schaub threw him against a wall at the Comedy Store and made out with him, Tim would stay quiet about it.
- Tim's hypothetical: if Brendan Schaub violently raped him to the point of permanent physical damage and bleeding.
- Even if the bedroom looked like a murder scene from blood and bodily fluids, Tim would keep quiet.
- Tim wants the focus on the work, not on being the comic that Brendan anally raped.
- 4 min
Tim's History With Bobby Lee and the Comedy Store Politics
#Tim recounts a real dinner with Bobby Lee where Bobby accused him of turning his back on the LA comedy mafia after moving to Austin, and Tim explains he never romanticized the Comedy Store since Joe Rogan got him passed there.
8moments
- Tim says Joe Rogan ordered his Comedy Store pass, not natural development, and he doesn't romanticize the institution despite working there.
- Bobby Lee cornered him at a dinner with Sam Spade, suggesting Tim had been inducted into a mafia-like institution and was betraying it.
- Ben mentions Bobby Lee shows his genitals on stage, clarifying what he and Sam were discussing.
- Tim claims he doesn't understand the beef and drama, wanting only love and healing pathways for everyone involved.
- Pressed on being affected by the situation, Tim insists he's deeply unaffected and doesn't care who did what to whom.
- Tim explores the concept of consenting to rape, suggesting someone could be threatened, then drive the person to their apartment and allow it to happen.
- If brutally and viciously raped, Tim says he'd keep quiet because he'd want people focusing on the work instead.
- Tim reiterates he doesn't care about anyone involved, hopes it's covered to everyone's satisfaction, and wishes respect for all parties.
- 4 min
Official Statement: I Don't Care, Move to Austin
#Tim delivers his mock-official, Fearless, unaffected statement on the whole Bobby Lee/Brendan Schaub scandal, says he hates going to the Comedy Store parking lot, and jokes that all this drama could be solved by everyone moving to Austin.
6moments
- Tim suggests everyone should have moved to Austin, where there's a thriving economy of back alley abortions and shootings.
- His official statement: he doesn't care about anyone involved and doesn't want to find out what happened.
- Standing in the Comedy Store parking lot makes him want to kill himself and he's never had less fun.
- Tim expresses upset about his experience at the end of his stay in Australia, though the tour has been largely positive.
- Australian audiences are great because comedy is for drunk people who don't overthink things, and there's plenty of that here.
- A friend of his started using Keeps for hair loss and has had great success with the service.
- 2 min
He transitions into a Raycon earbuds ad, praising the affordability and battery life and pitching them as a Mother's Day gift with a discount code.
3moments
- Tim loves Raycon earbuds because they're much cheaper than competitor brands and come in fun color options.
- Raycons offer eight hours of playtime and 32-hour battery life, making them a good Mother's Day gift.
- Tim says he's buying his mother Raycon earbuds so she can hear his phone calls clearly and enjoy music and podcasts for eight hours at a time.
- 5 min
Booking the $15,000 Silky Oaks Lodge Disaster
#Tim describes booking an expensive rainforest resort in Australia's Daintree region, complaining about the terrible food, lack of room service, deadly wildlife (jellyfish, crocodiles, the gimpy gimpy tree), and praising one waitress named Lauren.
9moments
- Tim booked the Pavilion Suite at Silky Oaks Lodge in the Daintree rainforest for $15,000 total—a $5,000-7,000 per night commitment.
- Lauren, a waitress at the lodge, was phenomenal despite serving some of the worst food Tim has had in his life.
- The lodge advertises gourmet fine dining but the food is a nightmare, with no room service forcing guests to eat at the main lodge.
- The Daintree rainforest is packed with things that will kill you: penny-sized jellyfish, saltwater crocodiles, sharks, the gimpy-gimpy tree, and platypuses.
- The lodge encourages guests to do deadly activities, but Google reveals just how lethal they actually are.
- Tim wanted to snorkel the Great Barrier Reef but realized it isn't worth dying for since the reef is half-bleached anyway.
- Stinger suits are supposed to protect from jellyfish, but many don't work, and as a bigger person squeezing into one feels like giving up.
- People die and get hospitalized frequently in the area, but the tourism industry just ignores it and moves on.
- Tim asks Ben to pull up an article about a zipline incident at the lodge.
- 3 min
Tim reads a real news article about a man who died and his wife who survived after a zipline malfunction at a nearby jungle canopy tour, describing witness accounts of the horrifying scream.
6moments
- Widow of zipline death victim sues company for millions after husband plunges from harness in Far North Queensland rainforest.
- Witnesses describe the moment the empty zipline came back up making an awful twang, followed by silence, then the wife's blood-curdling scream from the jungle floor.
- Tim explains they visited one of the most remote locations in the world at Cape Tribulation, where the beach exists like a Platonic ideal.
- They spotted local wildlife including a pelican and a monotreme porcupine that lays eggs.
- The beautiful beach can't be swum in due to crocodiles and box jellyfish, plus wild boars at night and armed hobos living in the woods.
- The prehistoric, crocodile-infested landscape is cool precisely because it's deadly.
- 2 min
Australia's Nanny State vs. Deadly Freedom
#Tim contrasts the deadly, beautiful landscape with Australia's obsessive rule-following resort culture, complaining about being tracked for flight numbers and forced into scheduled tours.
7moments
- Tim describes Australia as a nanny state with rules baked into the bone of everyone who walks the continent.
- They walked off a tour after being driven around and the resort forces everything through their booking system for kickbacks.
- Can't even get a car into town — the resort immediately starts asking for flight numbers and presenting a rigid schedule of meals and activities.
- Tim wanted to relax but there's no freedom, no in-room dining, just formal dinners of bad food.
- They bribed a local woman named Zona without a driver's license to drive them around instead of using resort transportation.
- Zona explained the area attracts people running from something — wives they owe money to, the law, and many of the waitresses are human trafficking victims.
- These trafficking victims have transported themselves to far north Queensland to serve gruel to people buying jungle experiences.
nanny stateQueensland Australia
- 4 min
Crims, Sona the Driver, and the Prison Colony Resort
#Tim describes bribing a local unlicensed driver named Sona, riffs on Australia's convict heritage making everyone untrustworthy "crims," and calls the luxury resort a gilded cage that surveils guests.
9moments
- Nature is fake when you barely see it, and Australian resorts are full of miserable exiles interrogating you about your flight plans.
- A resort worker confronted Tim like a mother asking where he'd been, but he was just on vacation.
- Australians call criminals "crims," and the entire continent is descended from horse thieves and pig farmers who can't be trusted with freedom.
- The resort functions as a gilded prison cage where staff constantly pry into guests' business and activities.
- Tim left a business card advertising his top-ten podcast, but the resort has horrible Wi-Fi.
- When paying $15,000 for three days, the resort staff monitors everything.
- The servers working the resort are likely criminals themselves, visible in their eyes, but not clever enough to pull off real heists.
- A tour guide lectured Tim about Aboriginal treatment and racial demographics while showing him a recreation center.
- Tim walked off the tour because the guide was discussing genocide at 8 a.m. instead of showing him wildlife like pelicans.
- 5 min
Walking Off the Indigenous Tour With Mick the Guide
#Tim and Ben recount ditching a guided tour led by a tour guide named Mick who lectured about genocide and indigenous history at 8am, and Tim rants about tour guides being "damned" people forced into hacky routines.
8moments
- Tim and his group hadn't had coffee before being asked to participate in an indigenous ceremony with three white dudes.
- Tim knew they'd leave the tour immediately after seeing other tourists in shorts and Safari hats on the bus.
- He wanted a private tour and didn't want to be grouped with the Australian Disney couples who were sexless and earnest.
- Tim expresses hatred for tourists who expect to learn something meaningful from an eight-minute or half-day tour.
- Tour guide Mick was a damned person forced to tell hacky jokes while discussing genocide and stolen indigenous children.
- When a tour guide's joke bombs after discussing genocide, Tim wishes the driver would blow his brains out on the windshield.
- Mick combined discussing historical atrocities with claiming a community center as redemption, mixing gravity with corny punchlines.
- Ben discovered the Guugu Yimithirr hunted Chinese people for cannibalistic feasting, information Mick never mentioned on the tour.
- 4 min
The Cannibalism Controversy and the Lululemon Tribe
#Ben reveals Wikipedia claims that a local indigenous group hunted and ate Chinese laborers, leading Tim into a riff about historical violence being universal across civilizations, not unique to European colonizers, while mispronouncing the tribe's name as "Lululemon."
8moments
- Modern historians dispute whether Aboriginal tribes hunted and ate Chinese settlers, framing cannibalism reports as colonial justification for land seizure.
- Tim argues that even if the Lululemon tribe ate Chinese people, they didn't deserve to lose their land so hotels could be built and charge inflated prices.
- White people are horrifically violent, but natives also engaged in warfare, pillaging, and cannibalism—violence was the currency of the world, not unique to European settlers.
- People who only study the colonial era and ignore ancient history get a skewed view and tend to demonize Western civilization unfairly.
- Very few countries were established peacefully; the world has always worked through conquest and killing.
- Whether the tribe ate Chinese children or adults doesn't bother Tim—he's siding with them anyway because the hotel staff has been harassing him for three days.
- An indigenous Blue Hole exists where local women bathe; one man claims he was cursed and became sterile after swimming there.
- Tim concludes his warning that Silky Oaks Lodge in Queensland is running a human trafficking ring.
Silky Oaks LodgeNorthern Queensland Aboriginal communities
- 1 min
Tim reads a BetterHelp therapy ad discussing stress symptoms and pushing the Tim Dillon discount code.
3moments
- Physical symptoms like headaches, teeth grinding, and digestive issues can indicate stress.
- Tim lists stress manifestations: doom scrolling, sleeping too little or too much, undereating, overeating—all things he experiences.
- BetterHelp offers customized online therapy via video, phone, or live chat without requiring camera use.
BetterHelpstress
- 2 min
Tim pitches Masterworks, the platform letting regular investors buy shares of fine art, citing historical price appreciation statistics.
3moments
- Tim claims wealthy people have insider knowledge on inflation-proof investments that regular people don't understand.
- Masterworks makes blue-chip art investments available to regular people instead of just the ultra-wealthy elite.
- Tim used his influence to secure priority access for listeners to skip Masterworks' waitlist.
- 5 min
Debating Late-Term Abortion After Roe
#Following news of Roe v. Wade being overturned, Tim and Sam debate the ethics and legality of late-term abortion, with Tim proposing a cutoff of "under three months" as a moral compromise.
10moments
- Tim argues there must be a cutoff point where abortion becomes cruel and inhumane, citing that you can't have an abortion at eight months.
- Most late-term abortions occur because scans reveal severe fetal abnormalities—no heart, no head, mutations incompatible with life outside the womb.
- Tim rejects the logistical argument that waiting periods and travel distance justify late-term abortion, citing a hypothetical Arby's worker traveling from Houston to Abilene.
- He estimates 99% of cases involve severe defects like fetuses with feet for brains that cannot survive outside the womb.
- Tim distinguishes between aborting a fetus with fatal abnormalities versus aborting one with Down syndrome just because of the diagnosis.
- Abortion statistics from Europe and the UK show the vast majority occur before 20 or 25 weeks, with nine out of ten before 12 weeks in high-income countries.
- Tim supports federal abortion rights primarily because state bans hurt poor women who must travel and make arrangements in other states.
- His compromise position: keep it under three months—nine out of ten abortions happen before twelve weeks anyway, so he frames it as reasonable.
- Tim positions himself as the voice of reason between two extremes, rejecting both total bans and unrestricted late-term abortion.
- He closes with a PSA-style appeal to women: "Keep it under three months please."
- 6 min
Tim reads statistics from a real medical paper on reasons women in England and Wales cite for having abortions after 13 weeks, negotiating a running joke of extending his "under three months" deadline concession by concession.
10moments
- Tim argues that late-term abortions at seven or eight months are performed on "fun women" who get knocked up and decide Cabo is more appealing.
- A happy medium should exist between total abortion bans and allowing eight-month terminations; Tim proposes a three-month cutoff and suggests women should "pay attention" to their bodies.
- Tim produces a medical paper from England and Wales listing reasons for abortions after 13 weeks of gestation.
- Tim responds that a compliment is just a compliment and the producer is projecting their own self-concept issues onto his words.
- Reading the top reasons for late abortions: 41% said they weren't sure and took time to decide; Tim dismisses this as "not credible."
- 38% didn't realize they were pregnant due to irregular periods—Tim calls this "more understandable" than the previous answer.
- 36 people thought their pregnancy was much less advanced than it actually was when requesting the abortion.
- 32 people said they weren't sure what they would do if pregnant; Tim and his producer debate whether this is reasonable.
- 30 people suspected pregnancy but delayed taking action; 26 cited parental worry; 24 had to wait over five days for an appointment.
- The punchline: Tim announces the number-one reason for late-term abortions is discovering Brendan Schaub is the father.
- 3 min
Adopted Kids Are Always Thieves
#Tim pivots into a riff claiming adopted children are inherently untrustworthy due to abandonment trauma, comparing it to the psychological "nanny state" baked into Australians.
4moments
- Tim lists five more reasons people gave for having late abortions.
- Shark Tank negotiation: Tim offers four months as a compromise on abortion timing.
- Tim draws a moral line at eight-month pregnancies, calling late-term abortion very difficult to endorse without medical necessity.
- Adoption process in America is criminally horrible, but adoption should be made easier.
Yannis Pap
- 5 min
Ben's Libertarian Take and Gay Men as Moral Guardians
#Ben argues prohibition never stops behavior (citing drugs and prostitution), leading Tim into a bit about gay men becoming unlikely moral conservatives on the abortion issue since it doesn't personally affect them.
7moments
- Ben's libertarian argument that outlawing prostitution, drugs, and abortion creates worse problems without stopping the behavior anyway
- Tim pitches a platform to keep abortion "around three" months instead of eight
- Tim mocks the argument that legalizing fentanyl would lead to supervised use, imagining someone taking a scheduled fentanyl visit like a Starbucks trip
- Tim notes gay men are becoming moral guardians of America, arguing for moral limits on abortion and questioning abortion cafes at Starbucks
- Lesbians are "suited towards agriculture," but gay men can tell women to "calm it down" because they're unaffected by reproductive policy
- Gay men are uniquely positioned to oppose women's excessive freedoms, unlike straight men who just want sex
- Tim pivots back to the original topic: Bobby Lee, Annie Letterman, Brendan Schaub, and other moral questions with no easy answers
- 4 min
Closing: Farewell to Australia and Final Review of the Lodge
#Tim wraps the episode reflecting on the six-city Australian tour, jokes about the dangerous roads near Cape Tribulation, delivers a final scathing review of the Silky Oaks Lodge, and signs off ahead of returning home.
8moments
- Tim and the guest have enjoyed their time in Australia, visiting six cities before heading back to the studio.
- Three people died in one day on the road to Cape Tribulation, mostly drunk drivers flipping on unpoliced roads.
- Maybe you do need laws—Tim's sarcastic conclusion about Australia's dangerous driving conditions.
- Tim's consistent position: he wishes everyone the best but never wants to see or hear from them again.
- Silky Oaks Lodge is trying to be a grown-up resort but doesn't know how, run by a nation of criminals.
- The lodge needs to fire its chef and most of its staff—nobody wants to pay this much to take a shuttle bus into a venomous hellscape and be served by trafficking victims.
- Tim now has to go to the Four Seasons in Maui and hopes Joe Rogan hasn't booked his suite.
- Closing credits: Tim Dillon Show with Sam Talent and Ben Avery, live from Queensland Australia, heading to Mr Wong's in Sydney tomorrow before going home.
Silky Oaks LodgeCape TribulationJoe RoganFour SeasonsMr Wongs