Episode 239 · The Ben Avery Era
#239 - Anna Khachiyan | The Tim Dillon Show
with Anna Khachiyan
Feb 14, 2021 · 1:23:32 · 386,000 views · 28 segments, 181 moments indexed
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- 1 min
Cold Open: Anti-Theft Bars and Prison Cell Jokes
#Tim and guest Anna Khachiyan (Red Scare) start the call, joking about the pronunciation of her last name and the anti-theft security bars on Tim's window that make him look like he's in a prison cell.
3moments
- Tim describes the anti-theft bars around his studio setup as looking like a prison cell.
- Guest explains her last name is pronounced Kachion, an Armenian name where you don't say the K.
- Tim compares the guttural sound of the name to choking on a pubic hair.
Anna Hussion
- 3 min
Anna talks about her sister and mother being fans of the show, references Tim calling Gavin Newsom an 'effete wine merchant,' and shouts out her gay best friend Dan Allegretto who introduced her to Dasha.
8moments
- Tim describes being in a re-education camp for anti-Biden views, living in a building where anti-theft window bars are mandated on his apartment.
- Banks used to reject mortgages in certain areas because window bars would block fire escapes, creating tension between safety codes and neighborhood security demands.
- Caller's sister is a huge fan who introduced him to the show and relayed Tim's description of Gavin Newsom as a wine merchant.
- Tim pushes back on the wine merchant label, arguing Newsom is more like a wine wrap—a guy with carry-on luggage—and mentions his own father was a failed wine salesman.
- Tim imagines the caller's sister listening to the show while smoking cigarettes in a Brighton Beach apartment, angry and cursing the gods.
- Caller describes high stakes with the appearance, framing it as a merger of Irish and Russian excellence.
- Dan Allegretto, the caller's gay best friend, put him on the show and introduced him to Dasha.
- Tim warns deranged fans that Dan Allegretto is the caller's name, in case they want to track him down.
Gavin NewsomDan AllegrettoDashafetty wap
- 2 min
Anna describes her addiction to the Clubhouse app and the venture capitalists and hucksters who populate it, plus her disastrous experience losing $1800 in the GameStop/AMC stock frenzy.
5moments
- Tim describes Clubhouse as the gathering place for tech people, venture capitalists, sales trainers, and motivational gurus.
- Tim trolls on Clubhouse by creating rooms with absurd premises like whether women should legally own Bitcoin or whether to pay for a son's surgery versus buying Bitcoin.
- Clubhouse represents complete decline as an empire, with Zuckerberg and major tech figures occasionally appearing in rooms.
- Tim refuses to join another social media platform after being a Twitter addict, calling it undignified at 35 years old.
- Tim lost $1800 on GameStop and AMC stock, which he attributes to Irish people not being allowed to manage their own money.
ClubhouseMark Zuckerbergventure capitalChamath PalihapitiyaElon Musk
- 2 min
Tim asks Anna to explain her theory of identity as a zero-sum capital game (using Rachel Dolezal as an example), and the conversation swerves into Anna 'coming clean' about being pregnant.
7moments
- Gays and women shouldn't be allowed to make economic decisions on their own behalf because they're so incompetent.
- Tim lost $1,800 on AMC stock while wearing aviator glasses, convinced he'd figured out retirement.
- Discussion of how identity has become capital in modern society.
- Tim jokes about the guest looking like an angel in heaven due to the blurry Skype background.
- Riffing on replacing the guest with an attractive Black woman and editing her appearance for the show.
- Guest reveals she had to stop smoking, cooking, and drinking.
- Anna announces she's eight months pregnant.
- 3 min
Riffing continues on baby names, Tim's own name origin story, and then returns to the identity-as-zero-sum-game concept, with Anna declaring socialism dead as of 2016.
5moments
- Tim plans to name the baby 'neoliberalism' or something similarly stupid.
- His parents named him Timmy because if he became a fat idiot, the name would fit perfectly—a reference to the stereotypical fat kid from childhood.
- Identity as capital creates a zero-sum game where Rachel Dolezal's appropriation takes opportunities away from actual Black women.
- Class consciousness and solidarity have completely evaporated into a hellscape of polite niceties while nobody addresses the real issues.
- Tim's podcasting partner believes socialism is over and should have been left behind in 2016.
Dash ChrysobaRachel Dolezal
- 4 min
Anna lays out her theory that society has shifted from Christopher Lasch's 'culture of narcissism' to a culture of BPD, and argues Trump and AOC are structurally identical narcissist-populist figures.
8moments
- Tim advises people feeling demoralized to self-adjust and ignore narcissists rather than engaging with them, starving them of attention.
- Rachel Dolezal identifying as Black represents a zero-sum competition for opportunities in a scarcity-driven society.
- Tim studied game theory in college, which he describes as a particularly shitty and fake subset of economics.
- The prisoner's dilemma keeps everyone locked in a sub-optimal outcome; the alternative is mutually acknowledging emotional terrorism.
- A woman named Ida Tava Coley spent eight months following stimulus checks instead of working, becoming educated about laws and the Ways and Means Committee.
- Tim tweeted that AOC reminds him of Trump—they have similar characteristics, both adept at social media and centering themselves in narratives.
- People with these traits will make their husband's cancer about themselves, or their child's DWI about themselves—they effortlessly center themselves without trying.
- Tim's working theory: society has shifted from Lasch's culture of narcissism to a culture of BPD, which he describes as female narcissism or inverse narcissism.
Alexandria Ocasio-CortezRachel DolezalDonald TrumpRed Scaregame theoryDasha
- 3 min
They discuss why Trump is unintentionally funny like a drag queen, and compare missing Trump's chaos to drug withdrawal, with the impeachment trial as a weak methadone substitute.
5moments
- Tim compares Trump to AOC as two sides of the same gossipy, social-media-savvy political personality.
- Trump is brilliantly funny in a way he doesn't know he's being funny.
- Tim describes Trump's comedic appeal as drag-queen energy: big hair, big movements, melodious voice like a jazz quartet that isn't quite hitting but keeps you listening.
- Tim misses Trump the way he misses cocaine after a decade, comparing the impeachment trial to suboxone after years of benzos.
- The media feels like it's in first-year sobriety without Trump—boring, uncertain, making mountains out of molehills instead of real drama.
- 3 min
Anna trashes the state of journalism, calling out Taylor Lorenz for waiting to catch people saying slurs in Clubhouse, praising Michael Tracey/Greenwald/Taibbi as real journalists, and comparing the rest to SNL staff writers.
8moments
- Tim on the impeachment trial as cynical make-work for politicians avoiding accountability.
- Media compared to disgruntled adolescents looking for content now that Trump is gone.
- There are only about seven actual journalists; everyone else is a culture commentator doing Twitter commentary.
- Taylor Lorenz sits in Clubhouse rooms waiting for CEOs to say something misogynistic so she can write about it.
- A real journalist moves to Dallas and writes about the Kennedy assassination for five years without finishing, then kills themselves.
- Michael Tracey is the only person now who actually occupies the role of real journalist, despite being the most hated guy on the internet.
- Most contemporary journalists are professional aggregators and stenographers for liberal consensus.
- SNL writers and major journalists are interchangeable; they could easily swap jobs and write the same mediocre political sketches.
Taylor LorenzGlenn GreenwaldSaturday Night LiveMichael Tracy
- 1 min
Tim reads a sponsored ad for Helix Sleep mattresses, describing their sleep quiz, mattress models, and a discount offer.
4moments
- Helix Sleep has a two-minute quiz that matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress.
- They offer soft, medium, and firm mattresses, plus cooling options and a Helix Plus for plus-size customers.
- Helix was awarded the number one best overall mattress pick of 2020 by GQ and Wired magazine.
- Tim promotes the offer: up to $200 off all mattresses and two free pillows at helixsleep.com/timdillon.
- 3 min
Tim reads an extended, increasingly absurd ad for Manscaped grooming products, riffing on the brand name and their expanding catalog of hygiene products.
8moments
- Tim pitches the Lawnmower 3.0 trimmer as a precision-engineered hygiene tool for grooming the family jewels.
- Manscaped performance package is the best buy of 2021 and superior to competitors like Norelco Groom.
- The product line extends to deodorizing gross balls and includes nose hair trimmers and various grooming tools.
- Tim argues Manscaped isn't just for men—it's for women with penises, men with periods, and people of any gender.
- He refuses to say "Manscaped" anymore because the name defends him, referring to it instead as "Escaped."
- The product range has expanded to disposable mats for pubes and foot deodorant, which Tim finds increasingly ridiculous.
- Tim reacts with bewilderment to additional products like colon cleanse powder and cream for open wounds.
- Despite the absurdity of the full product line, he insists the Lawnmower trimmer itself is genuinely great and what everyone actually uses.
- 4 min
Anna discusses her love of documentarian Adam Curtis and argues that Real Housewives of Orange County is the best cultural depiction of the 2008 mortgage crisis, citing realtor Gina Kehoe as an example.
6moments
- Tim's parents left the Soviet Union to escape being compelled to read Marx, so he'll leave America when forced to read Chelsea Handler.
- Adam Curtis speaks to him on intellectual, aesthetic, and conceptual levels, and Curtis is a Gemini like Trump, Kanye, and Azaelia Banks.
- Tim identifies as an Aquarius, which he thinks just means he's full of shit—a good description of himself.
- The Real Housewives franchises offer a genuine sociological view into gender dynamics rather than miserable cultural criticism.
- The first season of Real Housewives of Orange County depicts the financial crisis better than most books: developmentally disabled women owned three or four homes each while their brain-damaged husbands ran real estate empires.
- Gina Kirschenheiter, a fat realtor who was a Playboy Bunny, and her brain-damaged husband Matt bought three houses for their kids and exemplified the housing collapse perfectly.
Real Housewives of Orange CountyAdam CurtisBethany McLean
- 3 min
Anna comments on Tim's Candace Owens episode (with a joke about fathering Candace's child), then argues that what's called 'radical leftism' is really just the logical extreme of mainstream liberalism.
5moments
- Caller claims to be the father of Candace Owens' child.
- People got mad at Tim for not screaming at Candace Owens during their episode together.
- What the right calls radical leftism is actually just the logical extreme of liberalism and individual-centric human rights frameworks.
- The liberal establishment tactically benefits from people on the right labeling progressive movements as radical left rather than liberal extensions.
- There is no meaningful socialism or leftism actually operating in the United States.
- 4 min
They discuss how modern liberal careerists are obsessed with office politics and awards but seem joyless despite claiming sexual freedom, and lament Chelsea Handler's shift from raunchy comedy to white privilege documentaries.
7moments
- Aggressively liberal careerists are obsessed with office politics, awards, and committees — there's something sexless and sad about that iteration of liberalism.
- Chelsea Handler used to write funny books about her sex life, but now she's doing documentaries about white privilege.
- Tim doesn't understand why Jimmy Kimmel claims GameStop traders are Russians or why he does these things.
- Joe Rogan has way more influence than institutional media figures, which is why they keep trying to brand him as a fascist or transphobe.
- Chelsea Handler said leftism is a religious cult for people who wake up wanting to get outraged, and their mission is to undo things nobody historically had a problem with.
- What progressives are really doing is taking credit for fighting simple battles of the past that were already settled by economic forces outside their control.
- Gender discourse and trans rights were already economically baked in as women entered the workforce — these aren't battles progressives won.
- 4 min
Anna lays out her tiered theory of #MeToo (justice movement, revenge movement, labor movement, psychosexual movement) and argues it was really a dry run for eroding due process, plus a detour into David Hogg's pillow business.
9moments
- Tim outlines Me Too as a precursor for social control and compliance, not a spontaneous movement.
- Pagliano's point: men and women working in proximity is historically new, making workplace friction somewhat understandable.
- Tim layers Me Too interpretations from justice movement through revenge movement to labor movement replacing the old guard.
- The psychosexual read: women are actually angry at men for being ineffectual and indifferent, not just hostile and aggressive.
- Me Too functions as a provocation to men, but they won't take the bait because they're demoralized and non-productive.
- Tim's core fear with Me Too: it served as a dress rehearsal for eroding due process across professional spheres.
- Me Too's tactical power lies in making it impossible to argue with victims without appearing monstrous.
- Tim questions who society designates as victims, pivoting to David Hogg and the Parkland shooting survivors.
- Being a school shooting survivor doesn't make someone a permanent victim—victimhood status ends when you come out the other side.
- 2 min
Lighter riffing about parenting styles, Tim's godson being half-Filipino, and a joke that everyone they know pregnant is having boys as if 'nature is healing itself.'
3moments
- Tim describes looking down and not being able to see his dick because of his gut, finally understanding how his dad feels.
- Everyone Tim knows with disposable income is having a baby, though birth rates are supposedly plummeting.
- Nature is finally healing itself because everyone Tim knows who's pregnant is having boys instead of girls like before.
- 3 min
They discuss how entertainment becoming political has made everything boring, and Anna's theory that 'the left' is really just 25 humiliation-fetish open mic comedians in Brooklyn/Manhattan.
7moments
- Tim explains his excitement about having a half-Filipino godson as a defense mechanism against the wild stuff he does
- On Clubhouse, people keep asking Tim about political correctness when he just wants to discuss Bitcoin, scams, and Palantir
- Tim argues that people have gotten very boring and stale because everyone is obsessed with politics and canceling
- Entertainment becoming politics has rendered it boring, a point Tim agrees with seriously
- When women and young people start getting invested in politics, something is really wrong with the culture
- The left in America is essentially 25 open mic comedians in Manhattan and Brooklyn with a humiliation fetish
- Tim contends the left's strategy is to be maximally repulsive and alienating to provoke outrage, then claim society is oppressive
- 3 min
Austin Haircut Story and Chamath as a Placeholder
#Tim tells a story about a hairdresser in Austin warning him against liberal politics, riffing on Austin's actual weirdness and Silicon Valley colonization, before Anna frames Chamath Palihapitiya as a tech-world placeholder analogous to AOC.
7moments
- Tim moved to Austin three days ago, 30 minutes outside the city, and a woman at a haircut place asked if he was bringing liberal California politics to Texas.
- Austin is run by lesbians with purple dreadlocks throwing bricks through windows; antifa functions as a political party there.
- Austin attracts people who've failed at nine different artistic endeavors—failed bands, sketch groups, improv, comedy—before landing there.
- Tim tells locals they should be terrified of Silicon Valley, not liberals, because the tech industry is going to colonize Texas.
- People fear the wrong threats; they should be scared of Chamath and Silicon Valley instead of leftists or the alt-right.
- Chamath is a placeholder to Tim for the new trend in Silicon Valley, the way AOC is a placeholder for establishment politics.
- People celebrated Tim's critique of Chamath but get angry when he applies the same logic to AOC, probably because she's a woman.
Gavin NewsomSilicon ValleyAlexandria Ocasio-CortezChamath PalihapitiyaAustinCalifornia
- 3 min
They discuss the Time Magazine article about election 'fortifying,' Gina Carano's firing, and then Tim reveals his mother is a real paranoid schizophrenic who is nonetheless often right about politics.
6moments
- Time magazine article about brave people 'fortifying democracy' rather than rigging the election
- Gina Carano fired from Marvel for questioning the mainstream election narrative
- Tim's mother is a paranoid schizophrenic in a mental institution
- Tim spent his teens and twenties thinking his mother was insane, but now in his 30s realizes she's right about 30% of what she says
- Tim has just enough paranoia to be funny without being too mentally ill
- His mother tells the family Elvis might have been her biological father
Gina CaranoTime MagazineMichael TracyMarvelChris CatherineSilicon Valley
- 3 min
Anna diagnoses her own mother as likely schizotypal, they compare notes on family dysfunction, and Tim tells an Artie Lange quote about show business only making sense on heroin.
4moments
- Tim suspects his mother is schizotypal and cluster A, while he and his sister ended up cluster C — conventional, boring neurotics.
- His mother's political and cultural takes are accurate, but anything involving her personally is distorted.
- Schizophrenia might be an advantage for seeing clearly in today's climate.
- Artie Lange told him at a comedy club that the entertainment business only makes sense when you're on heroin.
GabiArtie Lange
- 1 min
Tim reads an ad for Gabi.com, a car insurance comparison service, mixing in stories about his own multiple car accidents.
3moments
- Tim reveals he's had five car accidents, though he hasn't stuck around for most of them.
- On the ones where he did stay, he exchanged information with cops, but walked away from plenty of others.
- Tim suggests it's not a bad idea to just leave the scene if the car is terrible anyway.
- 2 min
Tim reads an ad for Magic Spoon low-carb cereal, riffing on sad people who eat cereal alone at night.
3moments
- Tim describes cereal eaten in the evening by lonely, depressed people fantasizing about aliens saving them from their hellish existence.
- Using the promo code TIMDILLON at checkout saves five dollars; not using it means you're an idiot like his dad.
- Magic Spoon ad closes with pitch for guilt-free cereal at magicspoon.com.
- 3 min
They discuss the state of live comedy touring as COVID cases fluctuate, and Tim worries that Silicon Valley figures on Clubhouse want the pandemic-driven digital lifestyle and content moderation to become permanent.
6moments
- Tim jokes about performing live shows by squirting breast milk at haters and making white russians with it.
- Coronavirus cases are going down, which Tim notes makes people angry because many are invested in the pandemic never ending.
- Tim and his tour stopped shows in October when cases were rising, and are now returning to some markets as cases decline.
- Life won't suddenly snap back to normal—it's an imperfect reality of gradually figuring out how to do things safely.
- Sitting in a room for two years isn't life, even though nobody wants people to get sick or suffer long-term illness.
- Silicon Valley people love the pandemic and claim on Clubhouse that pandemics will recur every five years, requiring apps to live.
- 4 min
Riffing on wanting real unprotected-sex, bar-going life back instead of pandemic isolation, touring desolate highway towns, and praising Chris Hedges' solemn doom sermons as genuinely funny.
9moments
- Tim says he really enjoys doing lines, bars, and having unprotected sex with strangers, but can't do that anymore.
- He moved to New York and started the podcast ten years later specifically to avoid becoming a weird reclusive tin foil hat person like his mother.
- Dan, the opener, observed that women are leaning into being 26-year-old grandmas—wine-drunk cat moms baking bread, basically the female version of being incel.
- Tim wants to get out and see the ruins of the country, the desolate hellscapes and long stretches of highway where people hope to get trafficked.
- He wants to go back out on the road performing in towns with buffets where people smoke, get angry, discuss conspiracy theories after church, and come to his show because it's the only option.
- Chris Hedges is usually right about stuff, but he's been writing the same article for forty years.
- Their fantasy is that Chris Hedges is secretly a closet hypebeast with a sneaker fetish, unable to stop buying Bay hoodies and expensive shoes despite his speeches about corporate oligarchy and totalitarianism.
- Tim compares the current country to a closed store where everybody is just wandering around looking for the exit.
- There's nothing fun about the culture of the moment right now.
- 4 min
They discuss Jordan Peterson's fall from grace and his shift into motivational-speaker territory, followed by riffing on the reality show Mob Wives and Tim's Big Ang impression.
11moments
- Tim argues that having a child forces optimism, then pivots to the idea that he should adopt.
- He describes an informal foundation he runs for college swimmers and athletes seeking mentorship and money for school.
- Tim claims young men need a father figure and that Jordan Peterson is not adequately filling that role.
- Jordan Peterson became the victim of his own insights and predictions, according to Tim.
- Tim lost interest in Peterson when his talks veered into motivational-speaker territory about fighting dragons and villages.
- Peterson had drug problems, drank apple juice, almost died, and went to Russia—a wild story.
- Tim mentions watching Mob Wives and his impression of Big Ang, the only accent he can reliably do.
- Big Ang impression: "I'm dating a guy who just got out of jail for murder and he bought me a Pomeranian."
- Italian-Americans like Big Ang resemble characters from Pasolini or Fellini films.
- If you travel to Italy, the people are the same as Italian-Americans—just about 40 pounds thinner, with Scarface posters and Drakkar Noir cologne.
- The fashion sense between Italians and Italian-Americans is fundamentally similar.
Jordan PetersonBig AngGary VaynerchukReal Housewives of New JerseyDrea de Archangelis
- 5 min
A wide-ranging comparison of Irish and Jewish/Russian cultural traits, Irish ethics versus criminality, admiration for Nick Mullen's sense of justice, and a bit about tech billionaires secretly just wanting to be comedians.
13moments
- Irish people are funnier than Jewish people, she claims against her own culture.
- Tim says Irish lack the solipsistic neurotic impulse that characterizes Jewish humor.
- He ranks himself among the top tier of Irish people in America, alongside golfer Rory McIlroy.
- Biden being Irish means nothing to anyone because nobody feels he is.
- Irish people have nice features but horrible, hive-covered skin for an entire lifetime.
- Tim argues the Irish are deeply moral and ethical people, not merely clever criminals.
- Irish can't commit crime because they're too talkative and attention-seeking to execute a heist.
- They became cops as a state-sanctioned outlet for wanting to commit crime with a badge.
- Ireland is a beautiful sad country where people shit in the streets.
- Tim explains why he loves Nick Mullen: his humor reveals a profound sense of ethics and justice.
- He hasn't decided whether to work with Chamath or see where Clubhouse takes him.
- Tech billionaires will eventually ask Tim and his producer if they can do stand-up comedy themselves.
- Once the Illuminati admits it just wants to do stand-up, that's the closed circle of life and he'll blow his head off.
Nick MullenPeter ThielRory McIlroyChamath Palihapitiya
- 3 min
Tim reads an old Tumblr post lamenting that today's rich elites (unlike old Long Island money) are touchy-feely and apologetic rather than intimidatingly evil, tying into Hannah Arendt's banality of evil.
7moments
- Tim's main criticism of modern culture: elites are undeserving and unaspirationl, no longer intimidating or mysterious.
- Silicon Valley billionaires leak their nutrition regimens and take shirtless selfies—undignified behavior Tim leaves to Instagram models.
- Tim has always been obsessed with old money—Fifth Avenue, North Shore of Long Island—and finds modern wealthy people grotesque by comparison.
- Driving around Sands Point on Long Island, Tim was amazed by stone castles that felt intimidating and mysterious before new money ruined them.
- Tim actually wants the evil billionaires back—people who stay in their castles and leave everyone alone instead of giving low-carb diet advice.
- The line that captures it: modern titans are touchy-feely Twitter types constantly apologizing, too boring to be evil.
- Tim would take Rockefeller or Carnegie over today's apologetic billionaires—at least you knew what you were getting with old money villains.
silicon valley billionairesCarnegieRockefellerLong IslandSands PointDasha61st Street
- 5 min
Anna plugs Dasha Nekrasova's directorial debut film and jokes about wanting a tough female realtor persona, before winding toward closing pleasantries about the show.
10moments
- Dasha directed 'The Scary of 61st Street,' which she co-wrote with Madeleine Quinn, coming out in the spring.
- Tim on Hannah Arendt's banality of evil: you should be more suspicious of people with a social agenda than those motivated by naked greed, especially in finance.
- Tim admits he ignores most women but kept hearing the guest's name, comparing her to aggressive female realtors he finds appealing.
- Guest jokes about editing out the parts where Tim looks desperate after a screen froze during the remote interview.
- Tim riffs on the nightmare scenario of a new mother holding her baby, handing it to the boyfriend, and immediately grabbing her phone to get back on Twitter.
- Guest broke the news of her pregnancy on this podcast and hasn't announced it anywhere else yet.
- Tim considers adopting a child to raise her as a tough, wealthy lesbian realtor in the Northeast selling mansions in Greenwich.
- Tim's preferences: realtors, prostitutes, and some nurses—specifically brassy women with balls.
- Guest on New York: she loves it, it made her who she is, but it's bleak right now with false reports about wearing two masks.
- Tim wants to move to Texas, sit on a porch smoking cigarettes, and talk to people he no longer has any interest in hearing from.
The Scary of 61st StreetMadeline QuinnAnna KochianHannah Arendt
- 2 min
Tim runs through his upcoming tour stops (Baltimore, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, Providence) and riffs on his love of eating alone at NYC restaurants before signing off with Anna.
4moments
- Tim is doing tour dates in Cleveland and Providence but has nothing booked in New York at the moment.
- New York City to Tim is really about restaurants, from diners to Randazzo's clam bar in Sheepshead Bay where he'd sit with old Russians eating silently.
- Eating alone in restaurants is a requirement in New York that Tim misses, because in Texas or LA it's not socially acceptable the same way.
- Eating alone at a nice restaurant in the South or West makes people think you're a liberal freak and a child molester.
New York City diningRandazzo's Clam Bareating aloneArt Garbage Podcast