Episode 184 · The Ben Avery Era
#184 - Skid Ray | The Tim Dillon Show
Jan 26, 2020 · 1:41:12 · 586,000 views · 24 segments, 167 moments indexed
The great Raymond Kump makes it out for a tour of Los Angeles. They talk about when men were men, Rogan endorsing Bernie, Ray filming celebrities at a Malibu restaurant and Tim apologizes to Timothée Chalamet and Billie Eilish.
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- 1 min
Cold Open: New Studio, Roger Deakins Joke
#Tim opens from the new undisclosed studio, joking about not accepting criticism and namedropping cinematographer Roger Deakins as a fake heckler.
2moments
- Tim welcomes listeners to the show from the new studio, which he describes as a work in progress and tells the audience to keep their criticisms to themselves.
- Tim makes a joke comparing the studio to Roger Deakins, the cinematographer, suggesting it looks like one of his films.
Roger Deakins
- 4 min
Tim and Ray recount Ray's disastrous comedy set in front of older wine-drinking Trump-supporting Bruce Springsteen fans in West Cape May, NJ, including a heroin joke and a feminist bit about "fisting on the subway" that got him booed off stage.
9moments
- Ray introduced as one of the most famous cinematographers in the world, been in LA three days telling everyone how Hollywood works
- Tim explains the new studio is from an undisclosed location to keep fans from showing up uninvited
- Ray's catastrophic bombing at a winery show in West Cape May, New Jersey in front of the wrong audience
- The room was filled with older wine people, trashy but not the podcast's kind of trashy—Billy Joel fans
- People like Springsteen until he writes political songs; they misread 'Born in the USA' as pro-America while ignoring 'Born to Run' and '41 Shots'
- Tim attended Bruce Springsteen at Madison Square Garden in 1999 with his aunt Deb; '41 shots' about Amadou Diallo emptied the room
- Ray went on stage and immediately got a laugh with one great sentence that pleased the crowd
- Ray's heroin joke about addicts making new friends in their 30s killed, but Cape May's families had lost kids to opioids
- The crowd turned on Ray, yelling 'move on' as he dug deeper into heroin material, eventually telling him to shut up
Bruce SpringsteenAmadou DialloBilly JoelRay KumpCape May New Jersey
- 2 min
Comedy Specials Are Boring Compared to a Real Bomb
#Tim argues that watching a comedian actually bomb live is more entertaining than nearly any modern comedy special, contrasting Chappelle and Carlin with today's milquetoast hour specials.
5moments
- Tim describes Rage doing a bit about feminism that progressive people don't want him saying anything about.
- The bit's premise: you can't just say rights work, you have to explain how rights actually work.
- Tim recounts the aggressive punchline about stopping fisting on the subway that made the drunk crowd stop listening.
- The audience's response was so loud and chaotic Tim had never heard anything like it at a comedy show — they were just yelling "get off" over him.
- That bombing was more entertaining than most comedy specials being released now, which is the real problem with the medium.
- 6 min
Tim and Ray recall going to Nobu in Malibu, spotting Logic, being seated facing the wall, and Ray's insane decision to film the restaurant on his phone, prompting a debate about restaurant etiquette and privilege.
8moments
- Tim compares Chappelle's comedy to Carlin's, arguing Carlin had construction and a point while Chappelle just announces he's being controversial.
- Nobody needs an hour from a comedian unless they're a legend—most comedy specials are only watchable because they were already vetted and released.
- Tim and Ray go to Nobu in Malibu without a reservation and get seated at the sushi bar facing the wall so other diners don't have to watch them eat.
- Ray swivels around at the sushi bar and starts filming the restaurant with his phone despite Tim warning him it's insane and inappropriate.
- Tim tells Ray he's lost his mind—they're already conspicuous, and Ray turns around filming like a maniac in a high-end restaurant full of celebrities.
- Ray claims he was only thinking about his girlfriend Lucy and wanted to show her the nice place, just taking a picture.
- Tim explains Ray was filming, not making a documentary—though filming random people at Nobu would still be wrong and probably criminal.
- Nice restaurants are the only place that can't legally keep Tim out, which is why food is his only luxury since he can't access country clubs or private estates.
- 4 min
Nice Restaurants: The Only Luxury for the Poor
#Tim riffs on why fancy restaurants are the one place the poor and fat can't legally be kept out of, tying it into being raised by boomers on fast food poison and the shame-based marketing of things like the salad shaker.
7moments
- Going to a nice restaurant is the only luxury the government cannot legally stop poor people from enjoying.
- Tim argues almost nobody is actually happy being fat, despite fat-acceptance messaging from wealthy influencers.
- The confidence-displaying fat people are millionaires, not poor people struggling on public transportation.
- Boomer parents fed their kids poison as the fast food generation, in a way current children are not.
- Early fast food chains didn't even offer salad options, showing they weren't hiding shame about the food.
- Food itself is a luxury for poor people—even a nice steak and baked potato represents attainable indulgence.
- Even upscale restaurants like Nobu cannot legally keep poor people out or beat them up in a back room—yet.
NobuMcDonald'sSupersize MeKraft
- 4 min
Tim and Ray describe touring LA's homelessness firsthand, an Uber driver's rant about Jews owning Beverly Hills, an estimate of 145,000 homeless people, and the surreal contrast of tent cities against a beautiful climate.
8moments
- LA's homeless crisis is worse than anticipated—tent cities and medieval living conditions with no bathrooms or running water, plus diseases like dysentery returning.
- Uber driver claimed 145,000 homeless people in Los Angeles and went on an antisemitic rant.
- Tim and Ray visited Skid Row and had to leave immediately when three people emerged from a tent.
- LA lacks public housing projects like other cities have, contributing to the homeless problem.
- Projects have problems with crime and muggings in hallways due to poor visibility and diffusion of responsibility.
- Tim deflects from discussing society's breakdown to focus on LA's positive aspects.
- If you're going to experience the end of the world as a homeless person, at least LA has a beautiful climate.
- People don't balance the conversation about homelessness with the fact that dysentery and plague are back but the weather is lovely.
- 4 min
Tim reflects on his old disgusting windowless apartment and freezing car with no heat, comparing his old squalor to Skid Row conditions, while Ray recalls their old Taco Bell/Pizza Hut ritual on Long Island.
9moments
- Tim lived in a windowless room that got incredibly hot in summer and where he never threw garbage out.
- The car had a broken window with no heat, so they'd smoke cigarettes to stay warm on drives back to Long Island.
- Tim quit smoking cigarettes four years prior but started again when riding with Ray to generate heat, then they'd hit up Taco Bell or Pizza Hut at 3 a.m.
- The neighborhood has gotten visibly worse since he's been there—more tents, more shopping carts, wondering when it reaches a breaking point.
- Coming from LAX through Hollywood feels worse than Skid Row itself because you're not prepared for the gradual decay in nicer areas.
- People on Skid Row seemed happy and jubilant, probably getting a buzz on, which makes you think about life differently.
- People living in horrible conditions on Skid Row are dancing and happy, while people in big beautiful homes often aren't that happy.
- Tim dismisses Bernie Sanders types who think you can manage expectations and make do with less to be fine.
- Expectations themselves are what's killing people—they think about yachts and gas costs instead of managing their desires.
- 4 min
Happy Homeless vs. Miserable Rich, and Manage Your Expectations
#Tim observes that people on Skid Row seemed happier than wealthy people he knows, spins it into a "manage your expectations" philosophy, and mocks rich Long Islanders' perpetual sense of victimhood.
9moments
- Poor people are actually happier than the rich according to some arguments, though Tim clarifies he's not making a socio-political point.
- Tim visited skid row and observed people there who seemed happier than wealthy people he knew, even if momentarily.
- You can't cram ideology into every observation—sometimes you just have to take what you see at face value.
- The reach is what gets you—a new motivational concept for a shirt.
- Long Island is funny because the people there are assholes who somehow acquired things they never should have and still complain constantly.
- Long Island people inherit houses and complain about the taxes on them, always maintaining a sense of victimhood.
- White people in Long Island lost whatever culture they had from living by the sea and traded it for suburban sloth.
- When white people have no culture, they start pretending to be country-western fans and go to Sean Hannity's freedom concerts.
- Long Island guys at Montgomery Gentry concerts try to adopt a cowboy identity because they have no real culture of their own.
Long IslandSean HannityMontgomery GentrySkid RowBeverly HillsConnecticutMalibu
- 1 min
Sean Hannity's Freedom Concerts and Long Island's Fake Cowboy Culture
#Tim mocks white Long Islanders adopting fake country-western culture via Sean Hannity's Freedom Concerts featuring Montgomery Gentry, framing it as culture-less people performing identity.
3moments
- Tim on progressive politics fetishizing losing and imposing purity tests that will backfire.
- Rogan as a political asset and the unfairness of releasing endorsement clips without official consent.
- Progressive activists wanting Rogan to transition as the only way he could be progressive enough for Bernie endorsement.
- 1 min
Bernie Bros Melting Down Over Joe Rogan's Endorsement
#Tim defends Joe Rogan against progressive backlash over his Bernie Sanders comments, joking that Rogan would have to cut his dick off to satisfy the purity-test left.
3moments
- Joe Rogan has had substantive three- to four-hour conversations with guests like Matt Taibbi about prison industrial complex, Israel-Palestine, and race inequality.
- CNN's lineup features Richard Spencer and Stormy Daniels while Rachel Maddow spins conspiracy theories about Putin hiding in closets instead.
- Tim's crude take on Maddow and Roger Ailes having a cozy relationship together.
Rachel MaddowRoger AilesMatt TaibbiAbby MartinBernie SandersCornel WestDavid PakmanKyle Kullinski
- 4 min
Chris Matthews, Cable News Rot, and Our Parents' Poisoned Brains
#Tim contrasts Rogan's long-form guest list (Chomsky-adjacent figures, Bernie, Cornel West) with cable news personalities like Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow, arguing mainstream news rotted his father's brain, tying it back to boomers being fed poison news and poison food.
7moments
- Tim's father's brain has been rotted by getting his news from Chris Matthews and cable news personalities.
- When the Epstein thing happened, Chris Matthews blamed politicians for befriending nefarious characters because they couldn't afford to fly places.
- Tim points out the absurdity: Bill and Hillary Clinton can't afford to go anywhere, yet they're making million-dollar speaking fees.
- Online news is a complete free-for-all with no moderation, but in this case the online people are mostly right about the corruption.
- The real problem is that our parents got their news from people who literally should not be allowed to speak publicly.
- Forty percent of the labor force will be automated, but our parents just want to play golf and get a condo without caring about it.
- Parents dismiss warnings about automation, telling younger generations how lucky they are instead of taking the problem seriously.
Chris MatthewsBill ClintonHillary ClintonRachel MaddowTim RussertMilo YiannopoulosRoger Ailesjournalism
- 2 min
Ray the Fat Marxist and Automation Anxiety
#Tim jokes that Ray went from fat libertarian to fat Marxist, riffing on automation replacing 40% of jobs and fully automated luxury communism, before pivoting to his girlfriend canvassing for Bernie.
5moments
- Ray's transformation from fat libertarian to fat Marxist, living in Brooklyn
- The two ideological endpoints for disaffected fat libertarians: Marxism or Nazism
- Image of Das Kapital balanced on Ray's stomach while a woman breastfeeds next to him on public transit
- Tim on the promise of fully automated luxury communism where everyone relaxes and achieves higher consciousness
- His girlfriend canvassing for Bernie Sanders in Beverly Hills, screaming outside mansion gates
Ray KumpDas KapitalBernie Sanders
- 1 min
Canvassing for Bernie in Beverly Hills
#Tim fantasizes about canvassing for Bernie Sanders outside gated mansions in Beverly Hills with Ray and getting attacked by guard dogs.
2moments
- Tim pitches canvassing for Bernie Sanders in Beverly Hills by pointing out he's also Jewish.
- Tim describes the absurdity of himself and the Great Red Comet knocking on Beverly Hills doors and getting attacked by guard dogs.
- 19 min
Another Bachelor Podcast / Below Deck Podcast Ad and the Producer Feud
#SponsorAnother Bachelor PodcastAn extended, heavily derailed sponsor read for Another Bachelor Podcast and its Below Deck spinoff turns into riffing on podcast producers' egos, an on-air spat with a producer named Dylan who got offended by a previous joke, and a bit about nothing being "real."
16moments
- Tim recommends Another Bachelor Podcast as a companion show worth checking out during season 24.
- One of the podcast hosts attempted suicide after Tim's ad read the previous week, which Tim claims was just a joke.
- Tim plans to guest on the Another Below Deck Podcast spinoff because he finds that show more interesting than The Bachelor.
- The only difference between Tim and the podcast hosts is that he spends time with insanely talented people.
- Podcast producers get no respect unless they're Jamie Vernon, and they're all replaceable.
- These producers think they're the reason the host is funny and that they should be producing instead of sitting behind the scenes.
- One of the podcast guys got offended by Tim's ad read, which he finds absurd given they're doing comedy content.
- Tim argues that if his show isn't real and Hollywood isn't real, then a Bachelor recap podcast definitely isn't real.
- Podcasting will end soon, so the hosts should enjoy it now and not get angry about criticism.
- When Tim visited Spokane comedy club, hot dogs on the menu were named after legendary comedians like Richard Pryor and Joan Rivers.
- Tim identifies the three hosts as Nick, Dylan, and Pat, with Dylan being the one who got mad.
- Tim describes Dylan as having an obvious Jewish face that's recognizable from a mile away.
- A feud starts developing between Tim and the Another Bachelor Podcast producers over the contentious ad read.
- Tim suggests Dylan takes the whole thing too seriously while Nick probably just has fun with it.
- Tim mocks the idea of telling grandchildren about making money from a Bachelor podcast versus meaningful work.
- After twenty minutes of the ad read, Tim asks if they've done enough time for this segment.
The BachelorAnother Bachelor PodcastAnother Below Deck PodcastDylanPatNick
- 1 min
Nostalgia for the Old Democratic Party
#Tim briefly muses that the Democratic Party of the past had more room for "guys like us."
1moment
- Tim argues that the old Democratic Party had room for guys like him and the podcast hosts, unlike today's version
- 10 min
Timothy Chalamet, Brian Dennehy, and the Death of Masculinity in Hollywood
#Tim contrasts old-school masculine sex symbols like Brian Dennehy and Burt Reynolds with the effeminate, genderless appeal of Timothy Chalamet, mocking his acting and imagining him getting beaten up, then extends into a riff rewriting Little Women with a fat bearded Ray.
11moments
- Brian Dennehy exemplified actual masculinity—a man with a gut who drank beer and protected people, which actually turned women on.
- Modern male celebrities considered attractive are effeminate; Timothy Chalamet is described as a feather with no sexuality or existence.
- Tim jokes that he should have been cast in Call Me By Your Name because nobody would believe Chalamet would travel to Italy.
- The shift from Burt Reynolds and actual masculine men to Timothy Chalamet represents a catastrophic decline in Hollywood's male archetypes.
- Chalamet and similar genderless actors look like perpetually ill children, and Hollywood is reaching an end-time singularity where adults have become children.
- Tim wonders where roles are for actors with skin problems and argues that Timothy Chalamet is simply a bad actor.
- Tim describes watching Little Women and his experience bumping into one of the actresses while getting wine at the theater.
- Men aren't interested in watching Little Women because it's a children's book about middle-class white women written during the Civil War.
- Tim expresses a desire to see Timothy Chalamet get beaten up by Lex Fridman, fantasizing about their hypothetical fight.
- Tim launches into an extended bit imagining himself as a fat bearded man in a remake of Little Women courting the lead actress.
- Tim's fantasy scene continues with his character reminiscing about the mother's cooking and declaring his love for tender meat and freeing slaves.
Brian DennehyTimothée ChalametBurt ReynoldsTom HollandLittle WomenDustin HoffmanKilling of a Sacred DeerLady Bird+2 more
- 1 min
Hanging Out with Billy Eilish
#Tim jokes about being willing to be Billy Eilish's backup dancer or drink blood by the LA River with her.
2moments
- Tim offers to hang out with Billie Eilish and drink blood by the LA River
- He volunteers to be her backup dancer if she wants to go to Winchell's and eat doughnuts
- 4 min
Tim and Ray discuss late-night and early-morning donut shops in LA, joking about Mexican donut culture, Donut Prince, Tom Green's old periscope stunts, and California Raisins commercials.
10moments
- Tim is fascinated by LA's homeless donut shop culture.
- Mexican workers go to donut shops at 4 AM before work because they need sugar and caffeine to get through long hours.
- Donut Prince in Burbank near the Safari Inn is an iconic LA donut spot where Tom Green used to film for Periscope.
- California Donuts in Koreatown is a solid choice to visit.
- Tim reminisces about California Raisins claymation commercials and how good they were.
- The California Raisins had a Motown band vibe, which Tim notes gets uncomfortable when examining the racial implications of the campaign.
- Tim theorizes Hollywood executives used black Motown artists' voices and talent for the raisin mascots to avoid paying actual black performers.
- Hollywood diversity casting excludes black people despite them being naturally talented, while Muslim, Asian, transgender, and Sri Lankan actors get roles instead.
- Studios will make films with aliens before they cast black actors, demonstrating how deeply racist Hollywood actually is.
- Shows reduce black representation to a 'sassy black friend' character who appears briefly to compliment someone and that's it.
Hollywood diversityCalifornia raisinsMotownCalifornia DonutsTom GreenBob's Big BoyDonut PrinceWinchell+1 more
- 6 min
Hollywood's Blind Spot for Black Talent
#Tim argues Hollywood will cast anyone but funny/talented black performers, mocking white-savior Civil War films, a hypothetical Julia Roberts as Harriet Tubman, and fashion week's tone-deaf use of dreadlocks and Native American imagery on white models.
9moments
- Hollywood has found unfunny black women, which is almost impossible given how much they've been through.
- Everything has to be cuddly and comfortable for white people.
- Movie about the Civil War where Robert E. Lee's wife has a hero arc after meeting a black person.
- A character explains fried chicken like it's a stereotype, even though historically accurate people ate it.
- White savior narrative: a movie about one of history's most heroic women becomes Robert E. Lee's wife learning about racism.
- Executives once planned to cast Julia Roberts as Harriet Tubman.
- Fashion runways put white models in dreads and Egyptian headdresses looking wildly inappropriate.
- Johnny Depp, who played Tonto in The Lone Ranger, sells a fragrance campaign about the Native American experience.
- Gucci makes prison-themed collections with orange jumpers.
Harriet TubmanJohnny DeppJulia RobertsGucciCharlize TheronRobert E. LeeHollywoodMorgan Freeman+1 more
- 3 min
Tim addresses complaints about the rough new studio setup, promises improvements funded by Patreon growth, and jokes about podcasting being a dying bubble.
9moments
- Tim explains the studio is unfinished and evolving, with lighting and other elements still being worked on.
- He tells the audience not to offer technical help and clarifies that improvements will come with time and funding.
- Tim pitches listeners to subscribe and support the show so they can afford a better studio faster.
- The studio's dark aesthetic is intentional—they're trying something different rather than replicating traditional podcast setups.
- Tim mangles the phrase "break a few eggs to make an omelet," claiming his father said "break a few hands to make an egg."
- Ray Kump lives in New York while Tim is in California, but Ray appears frequently on the Patreon.
- Tim plans to broadcast solo podcasts more often, saying there's room for both solo and collaborative content.
- He speculates about building a podcast network in two years and warns that podcasting itself is a bubble that will crash.
- Most successful podcasters today will fail eventually, according to Tim's view of historical patterns.
- 2 min
Tim and Ray joke about Tim's upcoming exhibition fight with Brendan Schaub, with Ray outlining an absurd strategy of grappling and biting given the size mismatch.
6moments
- Tim has been announced to fight Brendan Schaub, a former professional fighter.
- Tim used to run five miles a day and is willing to bite during the fight.
- Tim's fight strategy: wrap Schaub up and use body weight against him rather than striking.
- No one Schaub's weight class fights someone like Tim, except maybe prisoners.
- Tim's body insulation means Schaub might lose his hand if he punches through it.
- Tim plans to bite Schaub's mouth because it's soft.
- 3 min
Tim runs through Our Love Is Disgusting, Patreon tiers, upcoming tour dates in Chicago, Charlotte, Toronto, and reminders to subscribe and rate the show.
8moments
- Tim announces relaunching the show this week with twice-weekly regular episodes and more Patreon content.
- Social media handles: Instagram and Twitter @TimJDillon.
- Launching a comedy tour hitting over 30 markets in 2020 with tickets at TimDylanComedy.com.
- Patreon tiers: $5 for one extra episode weekly, $20 for two extra episodes plus monthly video content filmed in the studio four times a month.
- Tour dates announced: Zanies Chicago January 5-8, Comedy Zone Charlotte January 29-31, Super Bowl party in New York City, and Grand Jerrod Theatre Toronto February 12-14.
- Tim has new material ready to tour for six months with plans to potentially shoot and release a special.
- Subscribe to YouTube channel, rate the podcast five stars on Apple Podcasts, and listen on Spotify, Google Podcasts, and other platforms.
- Tim wraps up with closing thoughts and music.
- 1 min
Presidential Endorsement: Dick Cheney's Gravitas
#Tim gives a mock presidential endorsement of Dick Cheney, riffing on the euphemistic use of "gravitas" to describe warmongering politicians.
3moments
- Tim endorses Dick Cheney for president, calling him the only guy with gravitas.
- Tim defines gravitas as the ability to murder people and chew a pork chop while countries get carpet-bombed.
- Cheney's gravitas means he doesn't let a genocide upset his meal.
- 17 min
An extended fake-sponsor bit where Tim and Ray sell a pyramid-scheme-style jewelry business, "Jewels by Podcaster Tim Dillon," complete with door-to-door sales tactics, a $7,300 Arizona seminar, fake testimonials, and jabs at AOC and Bernie Sanders.
15moments
- Tim launches Jewels by Podcaster Tim Dillon, an exclusive jewelry line, claiming lifelong passion for jewelry and opportunity creation.
- A cohost recounts Tim calming him during a cancer scare by tapping a topaz ring, emphasizing how jewelry is a permanent comfort against mortality.
- Tim describes the door-to-door sales model, asking customers if they'd like to see an exclusive opportunity from Jewels by Podcaster Tim Dillon.
- A $7,300 three-day sales seminar in an Arizona Marriott will teach strategies for selling jewelry and understanding why the product is needed.
- Past seminar attendees report their lives were changed, some claiming they had no purpose until selling jewelry and now making hundreds of dollars.
- Tim defends door-to-door sales because federal and state governments actively prevent phone and internet marketing out of fear of the jewelry business's success.
- Critics call it a Ponzi scheme, but Tim argues that's meaningless—the model empowers people to sell, not buy inventory.
- Tim claims non-binary people are making millions selling his jewels, though he refuses to specify the number.
- On what matters in jewelry: Tim dismisses certificates of authenticity and asks only if the stone makes you happy and if it sparkles.
- Tim reflects that helping so many people through jewelry sales made him ashamed because the impact felt god-like, though he clarifies he is not technically God.
- Politicians like Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez don't want people educated or thriving in door-to-door jewelry because they need poor people to help.
- Tim demonstrates his sales pitch: sitting in customers' living rooms drinking coffee or water, eating dry cereal, creating urgency to secure a jewelry commitment.
- Tim's cousin with Down syndrome is an exceptional jewelry salesman and will become vice-president, though Tim admits uncertainty about the corporate structure.
- Tim's life philosophy: at the end of the day, stop asking questions and live the message.
- Tim repeats his closing mantra—the end of the day, live the message—as final advice for the segment.
Bernie SandersAlexandria Ocasio-CortezHernán Cortés