rant · moment 10 of 10
Long Island Real Estate Absurdity and the Opiate Epidemic
from Thoughtless Animal · #42
Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.
8 minHe riffs on absurd Long Island housing prices and taxes for ugly Tudor houses, compares it to cheaper, nicer upstate options, laments the disappearance of dive bars, titty bars, and sandwich vending machines in favor of kid-friendly gentrification, and connects it all to the region's opiate crisis.
- 52:07Tim reviews Long Island real estate listings and finds the prices absurd — six-hundred-thousand-dollar three-bedroom Tudor houses with eighteen-thousand dollars in annual taxes.
- 52:37The case for Long Island: proximity to the city, nice Tudor houses, and appeal to finance guys, though upstate alternatives like Cold Spring and Hudson offer much better value for the money.
- 53:37Long Island prices are out of whack compared to what you'd get commuting from Hudson or Cold Spring on Metro North.
- 54:11Why the bubble persists: people bought houses twenty years ago when they were cheaper and passed them down to their children; good schools and community restaurants create perceived value.
- 54:56Tim predicts the real estate market may hold in the epicenter around Manhattan but Long Island is fucked — it's an aging population and young people are leaving.
- 55:12New York City used to drive people away because it wasn't safe; now it's safe and getting good for raising kids, but everything in Brooklyn and Queens has become geared toward families and children's entertainment.
- 55:43The things being driven out of New York: titty bars, gas stations, laundromats where you can smoke, and vending machines with sandwiches — replaced by family-oriented spaces.
- 56:30Long Island strip clubs lack the classy movie-version vibe; visiting them feels like you're living in Lithuania and hurting people by watching a show.
- 57:01Young people staying on Long Island are not the best — personal trainers, G.J.'s, basement culture — compared to LA where club promotion on Sunset Boulevard at least offers some appeal.
- 58:49The opiate epidemic on Long Island makes perfect sense: when your entertainment options are Planet Dublin and old IRA bars from the 1970s, heroin and oxycontin in your living room becomes the more appealing alternative.
Long Islandopioid crisisNew York CityCold SpringHudsonstrip clubsLos AngelesQueensBrooklynFranklin SquareGreenwichNorthportWestchesterBeverly HillsSunset Boulevard