Episode 42 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Thoughtless Animal
Apr 25, 2017 · 1:00:53 · 12 segments, 98 moments indexed
- 1 min
Gas Digital Network promo and show intro music with applause.
2moments
- 0:02Tim introduces the show's premise: taking a hard critical look at society's designated villains—billionaires, dictators, CEOs.
- 0:24He argues that bad things and bad people exist in the world, and expresses gratitude for them as a necessary counterbalance.
- 3 min
Stop Texting Me About Your Dead Uncle
#Tim rants about people oversharing grief about distant relatives via text, contrasting it with his own coldness about family deaths, and recalls working in the subprime mortgage industry on Long Island where coworkers dropped dead and everyone still went out partying that night.
8moments
- 0:36Tim on acquaintances texting him about their uncle's death: stop bringing your death into my sphere.
- 1:07If both his parents died on the same day, he'd be sidelined for maybe an hour because he has shit going on.
- 1:43He likes his own parents, but won't tolerate hearing about other people's second cousins, godmothers, or old school friends.
- 2:08Stop grief window shopping to find something to project your own failure and inability to get things done onto.
- 2:24Tim's process for grief: they're dead, move on. Do something nice for someone in their family or yourself.
- 2:46Working in the mortgage industry on Long Island, three people in his office dropped dead from drugs.
- 3:09At the funerals, they did the right thing—had a good laugh and cry, then went out and got wasted to appreciate life.
- 3:27Every minute you live life to the fullest, and that doesn't involve texting him about an uncle he's never met.
- 6 min
Grief Is Just Content for Social Media
#He continues riffing on how people make others' deaths about themselves on Facebook and Instagram, then Ray arrives late from Brooklyn, leading into a rant about NYC's changing rainy climate and a segue into the story of a Brazilian kid obsessed with aliens who vanished after covering his room in code.
10moments
- 3:52Tim on people making deaths about themselves on social media instead of honoring the deceased.
- 4:15Facebook and Instagram posts turn obituaries into excuses for throwback photos of the poster, not the dead person.
- 4:47Ray is stuck in an Uber from Brooklyn in the rain because New York's climate has become a nightmare.
- 5:22A kid in Brazil obsessed with aliens disappeared after filling his room with coded writings and books.
- 5:57Cryptographers dismiss the kid's code as meaningless, but everyone in comedy thinks they're creating a masterpiece.
- 6:23The kid had a statue of a Spanish astronomer who was burned at the stake for saying the sun was the center of the universe.
- 7:03Tim describes the kid's room transformation into the Da Vinci Code while his parents were gone for 22 days.
- 8:00Tim begs listeners to follow his Instagram, calling it a "call to action" for cheap fucks who won't spend a dollar.
- 8:55The real question is whether the missing Brazilian kid's situation is a viral marketing scheme to sell his book.
- 10:01The kid was going around asking people for money, which Tim calls a brilliant meme move.
New York PostInstagramBrazilNew York Cityglobal warmingLong Island
- 3 min
The Brazilian Alien Kid's Room and the Astronomer Statue
#Tim dives deep into the story of the missing Brazilian teen, his $2,900 statue of an executed heretic astronomer, theories that it's all a book-marketing hoax, and a tangent on the Voynich manuscript and trying (and failing) to book an occult professor for the show.
8moments
- 10:11The Brazilian kid spent $2,900 on an astronomer statue in his room.
- 10:32People doing astral projection and out-of-body experiences are wealthy people bored at home, not working double shifts at Checkers.
- 11:00Tim praises the kid for running what he suspects is a hoax to trick people, calling it entrepreneurial.
- 11:16If the Brazilian kid's alien story is a scam, Tim says he wishes him well and hopes he sells the books.
- 11:42The kid's room itself is genuinely creepy with a statue, satanic markings, and an undeciphered code on the walls.
- 12:09Tim explains the Voynich Manuscript, an undecipherable coded book from the Middle Ages that cryptographers still can't solve.
- 12:47He tried to book a DaVinci Code professor or occult expert for the episode but couldn't reach anyone from Yale or Harvard.
- 13:10Tim ended up with a pothead art teacher from NYU who thinks they're Professor Snape instead of getting legitimate academics.
Voynich manuscriptMichelle McPheeHarvardYale
- 5 min
Hucksters, MIT Kids in an Uber, and the DaVinci Code Grift
#Ray joins the conversation as they riff on the Brazilian kid being a savvy huckster, compare him to The Wire's Marlo and Barksdale, then Tim tells a long story about sharing an Uber Pool with two silent MIT/CIA-type kids while eating pastries from Bova's, before returning to secret societies and the futility of finding a real occult expert.
8moments
- 13:57Kid wrote alien obsession code all over his walls, disappeared, claims he has 14 books that will change humanity.
- 14:32Tim realizes the whole thing is fraud after uncovering the layers, but finds that even better than the original mystery.
- 15:22Tim calls it a great stunt—basically a hoax to sell a book, comparing it to selling a Slap Chop.
- 15:58Either the kid had a psychological snap or he's a huckster, and Tim offers to monetize his situation with an Instagram strategy.
- 16:40Guys in Rio are already setting up websites pretending to be him and selling stuff under his name.
- 17:19These hucksters could be legit businessmen if they wanted to, like Marlowe and Barksdale from The Wire could have been great legitimate operators.
- 17:49Tim argues the point of life is to get over on someone; anyone can live legit, but the working man is a sucker.
- 18:21The Da Vinci Code grift works the same way—people invent mythology around something that doesn't exist.
- 1 min
Setting Up the Michelle McPhee Interview
#Tim and Ray discuss the upcoming interview with author Michelle McPhee about the Boston Marathon bombing and the Tsarnaev brothers' alleged FBI ties, joking about wanting a scandalous twist.
2moments
- 18:55Michelle McPhee coming on later to discuss the Boston Marathon bombing
- 19:06Tim imagines McPhee uncovering that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's motivation traced back to a pedophile call
- 7 min
Occult Digression, Prince Philip, and the Great British Bake Off
#Before the call, they riff on secret societies as glorified networking/hedonism clubs, then wander into praise of The Great British Bake Off, Mary Berry being drunk, and a bit about Prince Philip being a powerless 'cuck' stuck in Buckingham Palace with no window fan.
15moments
- 19:28Secret societies were mostly just rituals to captivate people's minds, like the Catholic Church's big steeples.
- 19:53Some secret societies were just chambers of commerce for making contacts, or fronts for people's sexual appetites and affairs.
- 20:27Tim describes what a secret society merchant meeting might sound like—trading in spices, carpets, saffron, and organizing orgies.
- 20:54Back in the day you had almost no entertainment—barely any books or kindles—so intellectual guys wrapped themselves in occult stuff to do at night.
- 21:26Tim tried getting into Aleister Crowley but then realized some people promoting it were just crank art teachers at City College.
- 21:50Tim got an email from an MIT guy he thinks might be interesting for the show, though he doesn't know if he'll come on.
- 22:08Two kids in an Uber after Tim's Boston show looked exactly like what Tim would imagine tech or intelligence kids to look like—swimmers' build, shaved heads, good-looking.
- 22:31Tim was eating a chocolate bomb from Bova's bakery in the front seat while the two silent kids sat in back, covered in ganache and cake.
- 23:20The two kids just stared at Tim eating the pastry and asked to be let out, then Tim joked to the Uber driver about whether they might have killed him.
- 24:27The two MIT kids weren't interested in hearing Tim's take on The Great British Bake Off.
- 24:41Mary Berry, one of the judges on The Great British Bake Off, seems drunk all the time and walks around funny.
- 25:03In the UK when you tell people you don't drink they look at you like you're psychotic.
- 25:39Prince Philip married into the royal family and isn't the king—he's just a powerless man living in Buckingham Palace.
- 26:01Tim argues Prince Philip is a powerless loser living in a windowless room in Buckingham Palace with no control over anything.
- 26:28Tim was promised an industrial fan in his room but they never put it in, comparing his situation to Prince Philip's powerlessness.
Mary BerryPrince PhilipBritish Bake OffCatholic ChurchMITBova'sAleister CrowleyQueen Elizabeth II+3 more
- 11 min
Author Michelle McPhee joins by phone to discuss her book Maximum Harm, detailing Tamerlan Tsarnaev's alleged informant relationship with the FBI, his uncle's marriage into a CIA family via Graham Fuller, his suspicious international travel, his link to a triple murder, and the strange circumstances of Ibragim Todashev's death during FBI interrogation.
10moments
- 26:59Tim assumes Michelle McPhee is not white based on her name, guesses she might be Arab or Syrian.
- 27:19The book examines the Tsarnaev brothers' potential prior relationship with the FBI.
- 27:36Ruslan Tsarnaev married Samantha Fuller, daughter of CIA official Graham Fuller, who helped craft strategy fighting the Mujahideen.
- 28:42Graham Fuller worked to create what became known as Islamic militant groups and Al Qaeda networks.
- 29:07Tamerlan Tsarnaev supposedly had connections as an informant for the feds and later became a terrorist.
- 30:56McPhee explains the FBI interviewed suspects about Tamerlan but claimed not to recognize him, despite Russian warnings two years prior.
- 31:53Tamerlan traveled overseas multiple times without a visa while on a watch list, joining militants in Russia and returning through customs with no passport.
- 32:43The CIA had been warned about Tamerlan's mother's cousin Magomed Kardasov; Tamerlan was wiretapping him in Chechnya before he was locked up.
- 33:30Tamerlan was so valuable as an informant he was implicated in a triple murder in Waltham, Massachusetts but was never questioned.
- 36:00Ibrahim Todashev, a Tsarnaev confidant, was killed during an FBI interrogation in unusual circumstances, raising questions about the agency's conduct.
Graham FullerMichelle McPheeIbrahim TodashevTamerlan TsarnaevOsama bin LadenRuslan TsarnaevBoston Marathon bombingMagomed Kardasov+2 more
- 7 min
Debating the FBI Cover-Up and Judicial Corruption
#After the call, Tim and Ray dissect McPhee's claims, question whether federal judges are complicit in rubber-stamping national security cover-ups, bring up Michael Hastings' suspicious death, and Tim jokes about his own qualifications as a self-styled paralegal legal genius.
11moments
- 38:08Three FBI agents in a hotel room with a suspect described as extremely tough — the logistics of how they restrained him without him killing one of them seems questionable.
- 38:41The suspect died in custody and allegedly had information that could unravel the FBI's entire story.
- 38:56Tim compares the situation to Michael Hastings, who said he was being bugged and followed, then drove into a tree — a weird week of escalating paranoia before death.
- 40:03The reporter can't make wild claims, but Tim and his co-host have no corporate structure, so they can say things she cannot.
- 40:27Friends of the suspect received two to three-year prison sentences based on FBI testimony about the case.
- 40:38Her argument: the FBI should not conduct operations without public accountability, and the way they cultivate informants needs government oversight.
- 41:29Federal judges routinely allow national security orders to seal court proceedings and prevent press investigation.
- 42:00How do judges get appointed to the bench? They have to play ball politically, which raises the question of independence.
- 42:35The Felix Sater case involved an FBI injunction preventing Congress from being informed about sensitive operations.
- 43:16Tim jokes about his paralegal background and imagines himself as a judge standing up to a runaway FBI.
- 44:11Co-host suggests the FBI would only need to give Tim ripple wine and send him into a crowded street, then photograph him asleep in the gutter.
Michael HastingsRuss BakerFelix SaterAnthony Wiener
- 7 min
Shouting Out Instagram Fans and Long Island's Decline
#Tim shouts out various Instagram followers and fans (some possibly fake/FBI), then launches into a long riff about Long Island's aging population, decaying towns like East Meadow, his old junkie-landlord's son, doing comedy shows at the old Pilgrim State mental institution, and his mother's mental health decline.
11moments
- 45:59Listeners from Long Island messaged about hanging out and doing a live podcast from the island.
- 46:17Tim notes Long Island is looking haggard and worn down when visiting recently.
- 46:30When an area bottoms out, it's got nowhere to go but up.
- 46:52Millions of people under 30 have left Long Island; now more residents are over 55 than under that age.
- 47:03Long Island is becoming like an old age home, unlike Florida which attracts retirees with better weather.
- 47:43Tim lived in a basement for a while where the landlord's son, a former junkie, would intimidate him about rent.
- 48:28Tim's landlord's father was an 85-year-old stamp collector who ran mental health prisons on Long Island.
- 48:49Pilgrim State was a huge mental institution; Tim shot a movie in its rubble but couldn't get gap financing.
- 49:22Tim performed comedy shows at Pilgrim State for patients and rehab clients on Sunday afternoons.
- 50:18Some people have chemical imbalances early on while others, like his mother, develop them later in life after being eccentric and odd.
- 51:12Tim thinks stress and life structure play a role in mental health outcomes, more than predetermined fate.
Long IslandPilgrim StateLev Polikov
- 8 min
Long Island Real Estate Absurdity and the Opiate Epidemic
#He riffs on absurd Long Island housing prices and taxes for ugly Tudor houses, compares it to cheaper, nicer upstate options, laments the disappearance of dive bars, titty bars, and sandwich vending machines in favor of kid-friendly gentrification, and connects it all to the region's opiate crisis.
10moments
- 52:07Tim reviews Long Island real estate listings and finds the prices absurd — six-hundred-thousand-dollar three-bedroom Tudor houses with eighteen-thousand dollars in annual taxes.
- 52:37The case for Long Island: proximity to the city, nice Tudor houses, and appeal to finance guys, though upstate alternatives like Cold Spring and Hudson offer much better value for the money.
- 53:37Long Island prices are out of whack compared to what you'd get commuting from Hudson or Cold Spring on Metro North.
- 54:11Why the bubble persists: people bought houses twenty years ago when they were cheaper and passed them down to their children; good schools and community restaurants create perceived value.
- 54:56Tim predicts the real estate market may hold in the epicenter around Manhattan but Long Island is fucked — it's an aging population and young people are leaving.
- 55:12New York City used to drive people away because it wasn't safe; now it's safe and getting good for raising kids, but everything in Brooklyn and Queens has become geared toward families and children's entertainment.
- 55:43The things being driven out of New York: titty bars, gas stations, laundromats where you can smoke, and vending machines with sandwiches — replaced by family-oriented spaces.
- 56:30Long Island strip clubs lack the classy movie-version vibe; visiting them feels like you're living in Lithuania and hurting people by watching a show.
- 57:01Young people staying on Long Island are not the best — personal trainers, G.J.'s, basement culture — compared to LA where club promotion on Sunset Boulevard at least offers some appeal.
- 58:49The opiate epidemic on Long Island makes perfect sense: when your entertainment options are Planet Dublin and old IRA bars from the 1970s, heroin and oxycontin in your living room becomes the more appealing alternative.
Long IslandNew York Cityopioid crisisCold SpringHudsonBrooklynFranklin SquareLos Angeles+7 more
- 2 min
Tim runs through upcoming tour dates in San Antonio, Mahoney's, Newport, and Chicago, plugs social media and subscribing/reviewing the podcast, and thanks Instagram fans before closing with a guinea pig joke.
3moments
- 59:23Tour dates: San Antonio May 3-7, Laugh It Up Comedy Club in Mahoney's June 3, a winery in Newport Rhode Island in June, and Zany's in Chicago in July.
- 59:53Tim encourages listeners to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes and follow on Twitter and Instagram at Tim Jay Dylan.
- 1:00:09He addresses Connor Ford and Jack Fraunhofer, Instagram listeners or FBI agents, asking them to tell their friends about the show.