rant · moment 6 of 17
City Cultures: Miami, New Orleans, New York, L.A., and Austin
from #256 - The Announcement | The Tim Dillon Show · #256
5 min
Tim compares the distinct 'cultures' of different American cities—Miami and New Orleans as parties, New York as a grind, L.A. as fake sociopaths—arguing Austin's culture is one of failure that should be left alone.
- Culture of a city matters — Miami's a party, New Orleans is fun, New York is a hectic race to death that sharpens people.
- L.A. is a den of sociopaths and narcissists where fakeness becomes real, people stuffing avocado toast down genetically engineered throats.
- Austin is a den of failures, a place for losers and fat bachelorettes who feel like they're going to the big city.
- Tim describes a woman at a bachelorette party in Austin whose useless brain bounces around as she gyrates to Cardi B's "Up."
- A mass shooter sees the woman gyrating, apologizes to Joe Rogan and comedy, then fires wildly into the crowd and hits her.
- The bullet barely stops her; she barely feels it and keeps dancing until her friends tell her she's been shot.
- Her fiancée calls asking if she's okay; she survives and gets workman's comp and disability, can't go back to work.
- Years later she returns to the spot with her husband and two children, pointing out where mommy got shot on Sixth Street.
- She makes a photo of where the bullet went through her body her profile picture with a stolen quote about appreciating life's little things.
- That photo of where mommy got shot on Sixth Street is all Austin will ever be.