Episode 177 · The Ben Avery Era
#177 - Sober December | The Tim Dillon Show
Dec 8, 2019 · 1:47:36 · 245,000 views · 30 segments, 189 moments indexed
Tim goes off on people's sick obsession with pets, having Kyle Kashuv on the podcast, office Christmas parties, and navigating the holidays sober.
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- 1 min
An in-character jingle bit as "Timmy the Trashcan" begging patrons not to litter and to give him their trash.
2moments
- Tim performs a jingle as 'Timmy the Trashcan,' singing about loving trash and asking people to dispose of it properly instead of littering.
- The character appeals to listeners to give trash to him rather than throwing it on the floor, framing it as consideration for fellow patrons.
- 1 min
Gay Nazi Fans and FBI Feds in the DMs
#Tim jokes about gay Nazi fans messaging him on Instagram and riffs on the idea that some of his followers are actually FBI agents posing as attractive men to monitor him.
2moments
- Tim describes receiving messages from gay Nazis excited that he doesn't make being gay his whole identity.
- Possibility of undercover feds monitoring him through Instagram DMs, disguised as attractive young men.
- 1 min
The Irishman and Boomer Fast-Talk on December
#He riffs on a Facebook comment claiming you have to be from the tri-state area to "get" The Irishman, then segues into his boomer father's holiday sayings about how fast time goes.
4moments
- The Irishman is a real movie, and people who didn't grow up in certain parts of the Northeast don't get it.
- A guy who spent his life working at Blockbuster identifies strongly with the Irishman, a movie about Hoffa.
- December feels fast the way his boomer father complains about it—everything goes by so fast.
- Time accelerates when you're destroying the world and using up all the resources.
- 1 min
The Dinner Sneak-Attack Invite
#Tim complains about people who invite him to dinner and then reveal a third person is coming, arguing that changes the whole dynamic and you should be upfront about it.
3moments
- Tim on where time goes during the holidays: mortgage crisis and trillions in debt.
- The dinner sneak-attack invite — someone asks you to dinner, then reveals they've already invited someone else without telling you.
- Tim's rule: you never text someone about dinner if you're secretly adding other people — that's a solo invite that gets broken.
- 2 min
Fighting Cats and the Abandoned LA Rental
#He describes the two cats fighting in the LA home he's renting, whose owner abandoned them to move to New York, and mocks the hypocrisy of people who claim to love animals but neglect them.
4moments
- Two cats keep fighting in the rental home Tim is staying in.
- Tim is renting a house in LA from a woman who abandoned it to move to New York.
- The landlord left two cats behind despite constantly talking about how much she loves them.
- Tim notes the landlord will cry when one of the cats dies, but she abandoned them anyway.
- 2 min
Put Your Pets (and Kids) to Sleep
#A long absurdist rant arguing that too many young people have pets they can't handle, escalating into darkly comic advice to euthanize dogs, cats, and eventually smother your children, before he admits he's just making a point in a funny way about pet overload.
5moments
- Tim argues young people in their 20s who want to accomplish anything shouldn't have dogs or cats.
- Cats are disgusting creatures with filthy litter boxes and their own ecosystem of fleas and ticks.
- Tim brings up Cashew Von, the Parkland kid from his Patreon who doesn't say thank you despite being fed sushi and ice cream.
- Cashew Von criticized Ben for vaping even though Ben quit cigarettes and drinking to switch to vaping.
- A pokeball sits on the table that Tim will explain the purpose of later.
- 4 min
Cashew Vaughn Visits and Trashes Oscar the Cat
#Tim recaps Patreon guest Cashew Vaughn (the Parkland survivor turned pro-gun commentator) coming to his house, being ungrateful about sushi, arguing that fat animals aren't natural, and getting pushback on his gun-rights views.
8moments
- Tim describes Cashew Vaughn arriving and immediately trashing Oscar the cat for being fat.
- Oscar isn't morbidly obese when shaved; Tim argues that many animals are naturally supposed to be fat like elephants and bears.
- Cashew called Tim a Boomer for not texting right, showing no respect.
- Tim defends pushing back on guests' narratives even when they involve guns, arguing that easy agreement makes bad episodes.
- People with meaningless lives only listen to those they already agree with to avoid confronting their loveless homes and emptiness.
- Tim's position on guns: they should be harder to get but not taken away, a view most sober rational people would accept.
- Most people exist in the center, just trying to get by in cubicles with Christmas cards, not obsessed with extremes.
- Meeting Cashew Vaughn converted Tim to believing everyone should have guns and schools should be shot up randomly.
CM Triple E
- 3 min
Christmas Message: Put Your Animals Down
#Continuing the pet bit as his 'holiday message,' he tells listeners to euthanize their pets before family visits and stop making animals their whole identity, while disclaiming he loves animals really.
6moments
- Tim's Christmas advice: put your dogs and cats to sleep before hosting family, especially if your house isn't impressive enough to mask pet odors.
- Dogs and cats don't actually love you—they just want food, and they become a burden when you're struggling financially.
- People paying others to watch their animals while they're away is proof that pet ownership has become an excuse to be irresponsible.
- If you can't afford professional pet care and have to pawn your animals off on friends and family, you should put them down instead.
- Tim describes the absurdist comedy of inserting a Ridge Wallet ad right after joking about smothering children.
- The actual point: too many people own pets, and the trend has gotten completely out of control.
- 9 min
Dad's Wife's Three Dogs: Fred, Maya, and Ruth
#He details his father's wife's three dogs named after Frederick Douglass, Maya Angelou, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, his uncle Tommy's drunken rant about bringing dogs to grandma's house, and a wider riff on boomers loving pets more than they loved their kids.
10moments
- Tim criticizes people making their pets their entire identity, citing his dog Oscar's deplatforming for posting Nancy Pelosi's address.
- His father and stepmother have three dogs named after Frederick Douglass, Maya Angelou, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg—all white people naming dogs after Black icons.
- Uncle Tommy, drunk at grandmother's birthday, calls out the family for bringing dogs to a house where the owner hates them—and he's right.
- Tim's father constantly texts photos of his dog saying things like 'Fred says hello,' which is what boomers do instead of showing genuine affection for their children.
- Boomers were never that into parenting their kids—they brought them to adult movies like Basic Instinct—so now they're pouring all their love into dogs.
- People in New York City push dogs in strollers like they're babies, which Tim considers completely insane.
- When visiting someone's house for the holidays, you have to brace yourself for the smell of wet dog or cat piss and animals that have completely taken over.
- Walking into homes where animals run everything—five dogs jump on you, drool on you, bite you—is a regular occurrence that destroys belongings.
- Arriving at someone's door, you're already bracing yourself for your clothes to be ruined with dog hair and cat hair that you'll be brushing off yourself in an Uber later.
- After leaving a pet-filled house covered in dog and cat hair, you walk into your next meeting looking like you've been manscaped, completely covered in fur.
pets as identityCynthia McKinneyUncle TommyKamala HarrisOscarNancy PelosiFrederick DouglassMaya Angelou+1 more
- 9 min
Getting Drunk at the Office Christmas Party
#A sustained bit on how alcohol is essential to surviving office Christmas parties, imagining sappy interactions with coworkers like Sue and Denise and describing how booze makes a dead-end job and loveless life feel bearable.
11moments
- Sober people at office Christmas parties aren't having fun; alcohol is what makes them bearable.
- Alcohol allows you to appreciate coworkers you normally despise and imagine you have bonds with them.
- When drunk at a party, you stop wanting coworkers to die in car accidents and actually engage with them.
- The specific appeal of a corporate Christmas party: cheap appetizers, booze, and temporary escape from reality.
- Sober at these parties, you realize the horror of being trapped in a strip-mall bar with people you hate.
- Most coworkers lack self-awareness and don't realize they're in a hellish simulation; they just exist.
- The anxiety of arriving early to a party alone, then finding the creepy coworker Ralph is already there.
- Booze, marijuana, and cigarettes make the holiday party tolerable and even briefly enjoyable.
- When drunk, you compare your mediocre life to worse scenarios and convince yourself things aren't that bad.
- You measure your worth against the absolute lowest baseline—at least you're not in prison or shooting up schools.
- You've killed all your passions out of fear, but a few cocktails and a joint make Ralph seem funny now.
- 4 min
The Netflix Party Hummus Bucket and Waffle House
#Tim recounts leaving an embarrassing post-Netflix-special industry party where comedians lapped hummus off the floor, preferring instead to go to Waffle House with friends and witness a near-fight.
8moments
- Tim describes a coworker named Clark and the absurdity of drunk office dynamics.
- A boss who succeeded through pure persistence and fraud convinces people it's about grit and manhood.
- Netflix party had a bucket of hummus poured on the floor that comedians lapped up like street cats.
- Tim left with Eric Taylor and Laura Servers to go to Waffle House instead, which was genuinely better.
- Comedy industry parties are low-rent garbage—sitting in a hotel bar with Netflix executives eating hummus is not an accomplishment.
- Tim doesn't enjoy most people at parties when he's sober, but realizes that limitation is fine.
- You can't relapse back into drugs and alcohol as an escape from these situations.
- People message him about substance abuse because getting sober lets you find a way out of that life entirely.
NetflixWaffle HouseEric TaylorLaura servers
- 3 min
Sobriety in December Is Genuinely Hard
#He gets sincere about how tough December sobriety is, encouraging people either to enjoy their drinking and own it, or to find something else that makes life bearable instead of relapsing.
8moments
- Tim argues December is uniquely difficult for sobriety because office Christmas parties create the perfect storm for drinking.
- The Christmas party circuit in mortgages meant hitting multiple parties—real estate agents, title companies, bars—each one festive and seemingly mandatory.
- Tim acknowledges people in active addiction should still get an Uber or cab rather than drive, but holds the line on when to actually quit drinking.
- No context justifies drinking more than an office Christmas party, where awkward coworker relationships demand chemical lubrication.
- Gay guys in his area seem to be on crystal meth and doing well financially, so maybe it's not the problem people say it is.
- Sober flirting between men and women is weird, but the office Christmas party is the only event that specifically calls for getting drunk.
- Coworkers occupy an impossible social position—you see them more than actual friends, but the entire relationship evaporates the moment one person leaves the job.
- Tim dismisses the idea that office friendships last: if someone claims theirs did, they're a loser, and a French onion soup months later is the only measure of what remains.
- 9 min
Why Office Christmas Party Jokes Hit Harder
#He explains why jokes land better among coworkers who share context, describes the fleeting camaraderie of the smoking-break office party huddle, and reflects on how transient work friendships really are.
11moments
- Tim explains why office jokes hit harder than most comedy: everyone knows the shared premise, like knowing Doreen is full of shit.
- Some of his biggest laughs have come at office Christmas parties, where everyone's drunk and understands the shared misery.
- The magical moment at an office Christmas party where you have a genuine conversation with someone you'll hate again the next day.
- The cigarette huddle outside an office Christmas party, where the boss shares a year-in-review moment as if you're a human being instead of a piece of shit.
- The boss at the party is drunk enough to relate to you as a person because he needs you to stay at the company, not kill yourself or move to another country.
- Tim admits he misses office Christmas parties now that he doesn't drink, and he remembers being at bad ones where morale was already destroyed.
- If you're stuck at an office Christmas party in your office, you're fucked—you need to be somewhere else, somewhere better.
- You need to change your life, remove negative toxic people, but also get rid of positive people because they weigh you down too.
- Ridge Wallet is a minimal front-pocket wallet designed to streamline your life and force you to evaluate what you actually need.
- The Ridge Wallet is the first step to reevaluating excess in your life—your wife, your kids, your job, your entire state of existence.
- Tim argues you need a revolution of the soul and spirit, starting with a sharp wallet, because you're bogged down by everything you carry.
- 5 min
A Ridge Wallet sponsor read that spirals into Tim threatening to kill listeners' families and their kids if they don't buy the wallet, framed as advice to declutter your whole life.
7moments
- Tim threatens to kill the listener's family if they don't buy a Ridge wallet because it's a good product and sponsors the show.
- He compares his wallet sales to the government's weapons deals with Yemen and Saudi Arabia, arguing he's doing it cleaner.
- Americans know less about anything than anyone else, and their wallets are tattered pieces of old shoe leather.
- Tim says he's critical of America only because he likes it and wants her to do the right killing and genocide.
- Another threat: he'll drive down the listener's street and hit their kid on a bike if they don't buy the wallet.
- He pitches giving the wallet as a gift during whatever holiday the listener celebrates and suggesting they listen to his podcast together in separate cars.
- Final call to action: go to Ridge.com/tim, use code TIM for 10% off, or Tim will make their life a living hell.
Ridge WalletUnited StatesJimmy FallonJimmy KimmelSeth Meyers
- 1 min
A brief transition marker where Tim says he has to go do a set at the Comedy Store before returning to the podcast.
1moment
- Tim signs off the podcast
- 1 min
Rain in LA and Sobriety Since 2010
#Back from the Comedy Store, he complains about LA's inability to handle rain and briefly reflects on being sober since 2010 with no drugs or alcohol since.
3moments
- Rain in LA makes the city smell terrible and keeps people indoors because it has no drainage system.
- Tim sobered up in 2010 and hasn't had alcohol, weed, pills, or drugs since then.
- Oscar the dog jumps on the podcast equipment wanting to participate, but Apple would take down anything he'd say.
- 5 min
December Was the Best Month to Get High
#He reminisces about how December was his favorite month to drink and smoke growing up on Long Island, describing driving through Christmas lights and how the holiday season made bad behavior feel festive and excusable.
7moments
- Tim identifies December as his favorite month to get high since childhood, when he'd smoke weed walking around town with Christmas lights.
- Driving around wealthy Long Island neighborhoods to look at Christmas lights while high was part of the ritual as he got older.
- Most of his memorable times getting high with friends occurred around the holidays and Christmas break.
- Christmas lights make people feel their behavior is justified—you could do cocaine in front of someone's children and feel festive about it.
- December radio plays make unhealthy indulgences feel acceptable; drinking 1,200 calories of caramel hot chocolate is fine because Mariah Carey is playing.
- Mariah Carey's song is the unofficial anthem of curvy Long Island women driving to malls in houses worth millions, listening to whispers.
- Tim tells people getting high in December to own it, but advises the sober to lean into the absurdity rather than numb themselves to it.
- 3 min
How to Properly Decorate for Christmas
#Tim lays out his rules for tasteful, somber Christmas decor—single candles in windows, no inflatable lawn ornaments—and argues Christmas should have a severe, dark undertone.
5moments
- Tim argues that real wealth at Christmas means having money and simple decorations—a candle in each window, nothing gaudy, no inflatable lawn decorations.
- Apartment dwellers don't get to decorate for Christmas; this advice is for people who own or rent homes with multiple windows.
- Tim defends single candles in windows because Christmas should have a creepiness to it—it marks the death and coldness of the year.
- The best Christmas movie reflects severity in the season, not silliness.
- A Christmas Carol is such a basic answer that Tim wants to strangle the person who said it with a microphone cord.
- 1 min
It's a Wonderful Life vs. A Christmas Carol
#He quizzes Ben on the best Christmas movie, mocking his answer of A Christmas Carol and insisting It's a Wonderful Life is the correct, appropriately severe choice.
4moments
- It's a Wonderful Life is the best Christmas movie; if you disagree, crash your car.
- The film has a severity to it — a man on a bridge wanting to kill himself, saved by an angel named Clarence.
- It's a Wonderful Life is better than Scrooged, and the point is its dark, somber tone.
- Tim likes the Windham Hill Christmas collection for its piano music — very somber and sad, not peppy.
It's a Wonderful LifeWindham Hill Christmas collectionScrooged
- 7 min
Scott's Basement Winter Wonderland
#A long nostalgic story about a childhood theater director named Scott who secretly maintained an elaborate winter wonderland display in his basement while living with his gun-obsessed father, and what that says about hidden lives.
10moments
- Tim advocates for somber Christmas music and decoration as reflective, mentioning Windham Hill albums and candles in windows.
- His mother kept animated dolls with candles in Long Island windows, a huge seasonal display ritual that took weeks to prepare.
- Tim argues Christmas decorations should look expensive even if they aren't, and that machines will soon replace humanity as a primitive species.
- Tim's first acting director was Scott, a gay man who created an elaborate winter wonderland display in his basement on Long Island.
- Scott's father upstairs collected war weapons and combat gear while his son meticulously built the hidden fantasy world in the basement.
- Tim reflects on how meticulous Scott was about the basement display, something few people would ever see unless invited into the house.
- Scott would escape downstairs every night to create and inhabit his winter wonderland while his father prepared for an imaginary battle upstairs.
- Everything reduced to politics misses the truly fascinating insanity in America—the hidden passions and secret obsessions people never reveal.
- Tim finds Scott's basement display darker and creepier than Halloween, a deeper kind of haunting about escape and lonely creativity.
- Scott invented and perfected his winter wonderland, then died suddenly from what Tim thinks was an aneurysm, and ceased to exist entirely.
Long IslandWindham HillScott
- 7 min
The Darkness Underneath Christmas
#Tim expands on the theme that December represents death and rebirth, tying it back to Scott's story and reflecting on sobriety letting him appreciate the season's darker, more serious side.
11moments
- December is a dark month with inherent beauty—embrace it rather than fight it with forced silliness.
- The end of the year marks the end of the cycle: cold comes, snow comes, everybody dies.
- Tim was born January 22nd, at the height of death and coldness, the darkest part of winter.
- A local theater director named Scott and his group of teachers, mailmen, and bank workers who found escape through shows and late-night diner trips.
- At age six or seven, realizing that going out late at night to a diner felt like a complete rejection of authority and rules.
- Looking back at those talented local theater people still performing on Long Island, none of them ever believed they'd make it professionally.
- Tim feels guilty that he became famous doing something he liked while those early influences stayed in local theater, unable to make money at it.
- December is when we all collectively pretend to escape and care about each other through forced social interactions and holiday booze.
- There's a darker, more serious underbelly to the holidays that you appreciate when you sober up and judge everyone around you.
- Holiday parties work best when you expect them to suck but then they unexpectedly become epic, fueled by booze and bad decisions.
- As an alternative escape, you can sober up and build a winter wonderland in your basement while your father snores upstairs dreaming about Hitler.
- 7 min
A Blue Chew sponsor read that spirals into a bit about needing a hard dick to raise an army of children who will defend the family farm after society collapses within ten years.
11moments
- Tim pitches Blue Chew as performance enhancement for tough guys, not impotent guys.
- Tim jokes that people can't get their dick hard because they have a diet high in carbohydrates and refined sugar.
- Dick pills are for cool people who want to perform all night—different positions, weapons, strangulation, waterboarding.
- Navy SEALs are the target market for Blue Chew.
- Some people just want a hard dick to walk around their insurance office feeling confident.
- Society will collapse within ten years, so you need a hard dick to be virile and have children for farm labor.
- Raise children now so they'll be nine or ten and able to work the farm and defend the property during collapse.
- Tell a woman on a date you want to have children immediately so you can raise them before going off the grid.
- Tim clarifies that you won't actually save yourself in the woods when society collapses—it's just going to be horror.
- After ecological catastrophe, the earth will heal and new life will come, but you're not better off with a soft dick during it.
- Blue Chew promo code: Tim.
- 2 min
Housekeeping about upcoming Patreon episodes with Cashew Vaughn and Sam Tripoli discussing Epstein and the deep state, plus plans to resume video podcasts in 2020.
4moments
- Kyle Cashel Vaughn appeared on the Patreon with Tim laying out nice things about him early in the show.
- Tim and Sam go deep on Epstein beyond what's currently in the news, laying out possibilities about what's actually going on.
- The Patreon is growing with subscriber appreciation, and big guests are planned for 2020.
- Video podcasts are returning in 2020 because broadcasting from the LA porch stopped in December due to cold weather.
Sam TripoliJeffrey EpsteinDonald TrumpKyle Kinane
- 4 min
He promotes the 'Life in the Big City' merch shirt tied to a phrase from his mother's friend Dennis, and reminisces about his family's old New Year's Eve dinners before his parents divorced.
11moments
- Tim announces the 'Life in the Big City' shirt and hoodie, with five days left to purchase before Christmas.
- The stretch from Christmas through New Year's Eve counts as one continuous holiday season in Tim's view.
- Tim recalls his parents' New Year's Day tradition: filet mignon, creamed spinach, Peach Melba, and Sicilian pizza cut into bites.
- His parents eventually dissolved their marriage, ending the annual New Year's Day party.
- The phrase comes from Dennis, Tim's mother's friend who lived in a van in her driveway while dispensing life advice.
- Dennis would shrug and say 'life in the big city' no matter what happened—kids not talking to him, friends dying, anything.
- Tim sets the scene in 1999, pre-9/11, when he was 14 and living on Long Island while his mother rented rooms to people like Dennis.
- Dennis would stare into the fire all day, smoking Marlboro Reds and drinking box wine from whatever cup he had.
- Dennis had offensive sayings that Tim won't repeat or put on merchandise, including one about the N-word in the woodpile.
- People ask why the shirt doesn't feature the Burger King cup, but Dennis drank box wine from whatever plastic cup was available that day.
- Tim begins to recall one of the best examples of Dennis saying 'life in the big city.'
- 4 min
Dennis, the Guy Who Lived in a Van and Said 'Life in the Big City'
#A detailed story about Dennis, a man who lived in a van in his mother's driveway in 1999, dispensed advice while drunk on box wine, and coined the catchphrase 'life in the big city' even after his kids stopped speaking to him.
9moments
- Dennis's kids called him drunk after five years of not speaking, then never called back.
- When his mother told him the kids had tried to reach him, Dennis replied "life in the big city."
- Tim, Shea, and Dennis would smoke Marlboros together and eat baked clams.
- Tim pitches advertisers to buy merch and products to help fund the show.
- Tim wants corporate sponsors like Chile's or Salt & Straw to advertise on the podcast.
- At Thanksgiving at Saddle Peak Lodge, a drunk elderly woman got hammered and was taken out on a stretcher.
- Companies can reach Tim through Instagram DMs or email the show for advertising opportunities.
- Tim establishes the official email as thetimdillonshow@gmail.com for business inquiries.
- Tim has a live podcast coming up in Toronto in February and plans to do more solo live shows in the new year.
DennisSaddle Peak LodgeSalt & Straw
- 1 min
He wraps up the December message about death and rebirth, gives out an email for potential advertisers, and mentions an upcoming live podcast in Toronto in February.
3moments
- Tim explains what Sober December means to him: death, rebirth, then another death, then life.
- Whatever gets people to buy his wallet is what matters—he doesn't care what you believe about anything.
- Tim tells listeners to stop getting caught up in fake skirmishes and wars that don't matter.
- 3 min
Gary Vee Quotes Parody
#Tim mocks Gary Vaynerchuk's vapid motivational tweets, making up fake Gary Vee-style quotes like 'empathy is consistency' to show how meaningless they are.
7moments
- Tim parodies Gary Vaynerchuk's motivational business advice, saying he reads DailyVee to get pumped up and ready to hustle.
- Gary Vee is the greatest business mind because his company sells ads on TikTok—that's the entire business model.
- Tim analyzes Gary's strategy of tweeting a heart emoji, explaining that nothing happens without a heart because it pumps blood throughout your body and your business.
- Tim observes that Gary isn't even trying to make his quotes coherent anymore because his audience is too brain-dead to care if they make sense.
- Tim demonstrates how to construct a fake Gary Vee quote by making up nonsensical business wisdom like 'empathy is consistency' and then riffing on it until it sounds profound.
- The parody escalates with advice about spending three hours a day on TikTok liking posts to understand the media landscape, ending with stacked meaningless quotes.
- Tim strings together 'empathy is consistency,' 'consistency is empathy,' and 'lean into patience if you're confused' as the ultimate Gary Vee-style wisdom.
Gary VaynerchukDaily Vee
- 5 min
David Hogg's Vague Tweets and the Suicide Bomber Cousin Bit
#He mocks David Hogg's empty activist tweets, then riffs that he'd find a dinner companion's cousin being a suicide bomber more interesting than one working at Hulu, clarifying he's not endorsing violence, just noting the novelty.
7moments
- David Hogg tweets are vague and general—'racism's bad,' 'empower women'—offering no actual ideas beyond platitudes.
- Tim contrasts respectability: he'd rather have a dinner companion whose cousin is a suicide bomber than one who works at Hulu, because it's more interesting than corporate employment.
- The suicide bomber cousin bit expands: at least it's a conversation starter about a different world, whereas everyone in media works at the same streaming and cable companies.
- If someone mentioned their brother was a serial killer at dinner, you'd be interested—that's what makes for real human connection, not corporate job talk.
- Tim clarifies Gaza was just an example and doesn't want DMs about the specifics of Middle Eastern conflict—he's Irish from Long Island and not invested in solving it.
- Irish people come to America, make movies about knights and dragons instead of dealing with their own country's actual problems.
- Jamie Vernon is lazy and makes his research look harder than it is, constantly claiming everything is too much work.
- 1 min
Ben's Fiancee Lurleen and the Efficient Asian Workforce Threat
#Tim teases Ben about being lazy and his fiancée Lurleen, then jokes about replacing him with a team of efficient Japanese or Chinese workers, riffing on stereotypes about which Asian groups are heavier.
4moments
- Tim riffs on George Wallace's wife Lurleen and her work ethic compared to Ben's fiancee.
- Tim threatens to hire a team of small, efficient Asian workers if people don't keep working hard.
- Filipinos are the only fat Asians, and Tim expresses respect for them managing it stylishly.
- Tim notes Koreans are chunky too and finds them fun and interesting.
- 2 min
Closing Riff: Reviving a Dead Political Party and Running for School Board
#In closing, Tim floats the idea of reviving a defunct political party or restaging an old unscripted pitch where he ran for local office, before signing off with a final Ridge Wallet plug.
3moments
- Tim pitches the idea of starting a political party based on a stance so stupid it barely registers as ideology.
- Reviving a long-dead political party appeals to him as a genuinely crazy political move.
- He and Dan St. Germain pitched a show concept where Tim ran for Congress or school board with real advisers, debates, and a full unscripted campaign.