Episode 16 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Who's Gonna Fix Our Lives
Oct 25, 2016 · 1:02:26 · 12 segments, 104 moments indexed
- 1 min
Show intro music and announcer bit setting up the podcast.
2moments
- 0:09Tim describes the show's premise: taking a hard critical look at society's designated villains—billionaires, dictators, CEOs.
- 0:19Opening voiceover: there are bad things in the world and bad people, and thank God for them.
- 3 min
Year of Our Lord: Catholic Long Island Christmas and Easter Memories
#Tim riffs on the meaning of 'Anno Domini,' then recounts elaborate Christmas Eve and Holy Thursday Catholic services on Long Island, the brutal Passion of the Christ screening with praying old women, and religion teacher Lisa D'Amato traumatizing kids by telling them dogs don't have souls and divorced parents are going to hell.
9moments
- 0:39Tim explains the phrase 'the year of our Lord' and what it meant hearing it in church.
- 1:08St. Paul's in Hicksville was a wealthy church on Long Island where Tim's family attended Christmas Eve mass.
- 1:22The church would go all out on Christmas Eve, dimming lights and having someone bang on a drum during the readings.
- 1:48Tim asks about Thursday night Holy Thursday mass before Good Friday, describing the Easter vigil as very dark.
- 2:11His grandmother took him to see The Passion of the Christ at Sacred Heart church; the graphic flogging scene caused old women in the audience to pray audibly.
- 2:41Lisa D'Amato, a religion teacher in town, was an extremely strict fundamentalist with no nuance in her teaching.
- 2:58Parents called Tim's grandmother complaining that Lisa D'Amato told their children that divorced parents would go to hell or purgatory.
- 3:11Lisa D'Amato told a child whose dog was hit by a car that the dog has no soul and isn't in heaven, making the kid cry.
- 3:26Tim's grandmother confronted Lisa D'Amato about her harsh approach, questioning why she was terrorizing fourth graders.
Lisa D'AmatoThe Passion of the ChristSt. Paul'sLong IslandSacred Heart Island Park
- 11 min
The Brooklyn Heights Vanity Film Shoot Disaster
#Tim describes acting in a rich kid's vanity film project 'After Laughter,' getting stuck waiting for hours, overhearing insufferable LA-type conversations about mantras and Korean takeout, raiding the homeowners' kitchen for pretzel crisps, honey, bananas, croissants, and clementines, getting caught by a PA, and finally escaping with a driver named Kane who asks bizarre questions about being a New York comedian.
13moments
- 3:43Tim just returned from a shoot and doesn't want to create anything anymore—everyone tells him to make things, but without unlimited money, he ends up saying yes to projects he shouldn't.
- 4:17Rich kids in a $3 million Brooklyn Heights brownstone, all 24 years old, quiet and passionless, nothing like the people he grew up around.
- 5:19The script is called 'After,' about a guy who quit comedy and moved to LA—it's just a masturbation process, a fucking vanity project.
- 5:53Tim shows up 20 minutes late because he's walking five miles a day for his blood pressure, then sits around for two hours while they film other scenes.
- 6:45He overhears the director having pretentious conversations about meditation mantras while rich kids discuss whether to order touros, and Tim gets furious.
- 7:29Tim starts eating from the homeowners' kitchen—crackers, honey, bananas, croissants, cashews—because he was promised lunch and only got muffins on the craft services table.
- 9:09A gaunt white guy from the project tells Tim they're not supposed to be eating the homeowners' food, and Tim pretends he thought it was craft services.
- 10:37Tim discovers the refrigerator is full of clementines and decides to have one, but accidentally knocks two or three onto the floor with a loud thud.
- 11:55The PA walks in and sees Tim on the floor with clementines, then quietly tells the director they have to film his scene next and get him out of there.
- 12:28Tim announces he has a hard out because of his podcast, and the director doesn't coddle him or respect his time despite being told about it repeatedly.
- 13:24Tim opens a bag of bread to make a PB&J but the boom operator gives him a look that stops him, and he decides not to get involved with utensils and knives.
- 14:12Tim asks for an Uber and the director says Ken will drive him—Ken from Florida looks like an MK Ultra victim.
- 14:22Ken, named after Cain and Abel, arrives wearing something that makes him look drugged or brainwashed.
- 5 min
Entitled Williamsburg Kids and Dead Comedy Club Audiences
#Tim complains about performing for rich, ironic, phone-addicted 22-year-olds in New York comedy rooms versus regular comedy club crowds, riffing on how irony and detachment have ruined audience engagement and how wealthy kids pretend not to be wealthy.
10moments
- 14:25Tim describes a Uber driver lecturing him about why New Yorkers become comedians—exposure to different people—while giving directions.
- 14:53He questions what the film's producer Kane actually does; Kane responds 'that's a good question' and falls silent.
- 15:05Tim asks if Kane and his director friend Alex are just wealthy people using rehab as a film project.
- 15:26Kane insists they're not wealthy while mentioning he met Alex at boarding school; Tim points out nobody poor goes to boarding school.
- 15:55Tim had a rough set recently and describes the entitled audiences filling New York comedy venues—free shows where people expect Louie CK or nothing.
- 16:26Comedy clubs present different challenges from alternative rooms; audiences there actually want to have a good time rather than perform detachment.
- 17:06When Tim hosts, he watches the faces before he even speaks—sees pure anger and boredom, trying to figure what tricks will make them human again.
- 17:31Irony shifted from pretending to like something to having no genuine emotions at all, making it impossible to know if anyone actually enjoys anything.
- 18:09Tim broke through by insulting the audience directly—telling them they're phone-addicted and that live interaction with a person is too much to handle.
- 18:35He resents that succeeding in comedy now means entertaining rich 22-year-old trust fund kids who shuffle in out of boredom.
- 7 min
Williamsburg Gentrification and the Return-the-Gangs Fantasy
#Tim and Ray riff on Williamsburg's transformation from authentic to homogenized boutique culture, comparing it to childhood Long Island craft fairs, then Tim jokes about funding gangs from upstate New York to come 'regenrify' Williamsburg by force.
10moments
- 19:36Rich people with old money don't pretend to be artists or manufacture fake identities.
- 20:18Williamsburg has transformed from independent to homogenous, with corporate chains replacing character.
- 21:03Boutiques on Williamsburg's main street can't afford exorbitant rent by just selling bracelets and chachkes.
- 21:25A comedian turned jewelry hawker exemplifies the trend of performers peddling products instead of art.
- 21:56Working at Vice means sitting in a bathroom with the worst people in the world.
- 22:28A Vice employee felt rejected by a guy until learning he had a film at Cannes.
- 24:12Tim would fund a return of gangs from upstate New York to Williamsburg to genuinely ruin it.
- 24:40Finding a gang leader requires money and connections to make introductions.
- 25:17Picture 30 or 40 people shooting into the air at 11 a.m. brunch in Williamsburg.
- 25:38Tim's campaign: Return to Authenticity—reintroducing genuine chaos to Williamsburg.
WilliamsburgViceArmor Combat Leaguesplit ciderGuy Fieri
- 9 min
The Federal Reserve, Fiat Currency, and the Dollar Backed by the Gun
#Prompted by the election and polling discussion, Tim and Ray dive into the history of the Federal Reserve, the 1907 panic, JP Morgan bailing out the government, the Jekyll Island meeting, fractional reserve banking, and the theory that the US dollar is really backed by military power.
11moments
- 26:01Tim discusses how polls might be skewed toward registered Democrats, making the race closer than reported.
- 26:40He describes Trump's campaign as a confusing rotating group of characters with unclear leadership structure.
- 27:47Tim argues that people will secretly vote for Trump but lie about it in exit polls due to hatred of the system.
- 28:40The 2004 Bush election exit polls were inaccurate because voters didn't want to admit they voted for him.
- 29:42Most people think the Federal Reserve is a government bank when it's actually a private entity founded in 1913.
- 30:20JP Morgan bailed out the government during the 1907 panic and essentially served as America's banker.
- 30:57Elite financiers including the Rockefellers and Morgans met on Jekyll Island to architect the Federal Reserve system.
- 31:28Before the Federal Reserve, individual banks issued their own currency called bank notes.
- 32:11Tim explains fractional reserve banking: banks only keep 10% of deposits in reserve and lend out the rest.
- 33:10The Federal Reserve unified all bank currencies into one dollar, creating a giant bubble with no escape.
- 33:48Fiat currency isn't backed by gold or anything real—the government just prints money without constraint.
Federal ReserveDonald TrumpHillary ClintonJP Morganfractional reserve bankingGeorge W. BushNelson Aldrichfiat currency+3 more
- 5 min
Aneurysms, Blood Pressure, and Cutting Open Bodies at the Morgue
#Tim worries about his high blood pressure and aneurysms, leading into Ray's confession that as a morgue photographer he used bolt cutters to help cut open a rib cage and pull organs, which Tim finds deeply disturbing.
8moments
- 35:38Tim spent the day reading about aneurysms and became paranoid about getting one.
- 35:49Doctor told him his blood pressure is dangerously high, which Tim initially took as good news because he thought he'd get a rare aneurysm instead of a stroke.
- 36:17Tim asked his doctor about aneurysms, and the doctor said he'd have a conventional stroke instead, not an exotic aneurysm.
- 36:41Tim used to pull aneurysms out of brains at the morgue and describes them as resembling Jello Jigglers.
- 36:55Guest worked as a morgue photographer but was also allowed to help cut open bodies during autopsies.
- 37:21Guest reveals the morgue staff taught him how to cut people open and showed him the Y incision technique.
- 37:48Tim expresses disbelief that a morgue photographer was being allowed to cut open human bodies with bolt cutters.
- 38:37Guest argues he did nothing wrong because the assistant would have done it anyway and everyone just gives bolt cutters to whoever shows up.
- 5 min
Necrophilia Interrogation and the Federal Reserve Life Lesson
#Tim aggressively interrogates Ray about whether he ever wanted to have sex with or touch a dead body at the morgue, including a graphic hypothetical about a beautiful poisoned model, before pivoting back to comparing Austrian economics and cadaver fascination as Ray's two interests.
8moments
- 39:55Tim argues that the Federal Reserve and fiat currency system will never change despite ideologues trying to reform society.
- 40:38The economy is based on nothing—a succession of scams ultimately backed by US military power, not actual value.
- 41:15Tim plays an interrogator questioning a suspect about cutting open dead bodies during a morgue shift.
- 41:54The interrogation escalates into a detailed hypothetical about having sex with an attractive dead woman.
- 42:45Tim's character presses the suspect on whether he's ever thought about sexual contact with corpses while alone in the morgue.
- 43:19Tim catches the suspect in a contradiction, claiming he admitted to wondering what it would be like to have sex with a cadaver.
- 44:00The interrogation devolves into Tim discussing looking at dead men's penises and comparing their sizes by race.
- 44:21Tim wraps up by noting the suspect's dual interests in Austrian economics and necrophilia.
US militaryFederal Reserve2008 financial crisisfiat currencyCongressAustrian economics
- 5 min
The Potato Bread Delivery Job Fight and Rehab Friend Emily
#Tim and Ray argue over whose job was harder (tour guide vs. potato bread delivery), then Tim tells the story of running into his old drug friend Emily, now skeletal and just out of rehab, reflecting on addiction and lost friends from his youth.
10moments
- 44:29Tim insists it was his job, not an interest, to cut bodies in the morgue during downtime.
- 45:40Ray and Tim got in a fight last night arguing over whose job was shittier—tour guide versus potato bread delivery.
- 46:15Tim mocks the potato bread delivery job, comparing it to Russian gymnasts pushing their bodies to the limit.
- 47:07At his doctor's office, Tim encounters Emily, a former drug-using friend who's now skeletal at 115 pounds after rehab at Cfield.
- 47:38Emily complains that nobody goes out in their town anymore and that the kids are pussies, while her terrified daughter watches.
- 48:06Tim reflects that so much of life really is your decisions, noting he escaped addiction while most people he ran with didn't.
- 48:17Comedy was the one drug that didn't kill him right away—it's a slow burn that kills your soul instead.
- 48:47Tim describes hanging out as a kid with groups putting money on blunts, grabbing pills and forties, looking for places to get high.
- 49:08They'd hang out at the booth in the train station and behind Jack's pizzeria, smoking in the spots around his town.
- 49:38Tim and his friend Shay would panic when a green Ford Taurus turned the corner, thinking it was his friend's mother, only to find out it was a Chinese delivery guy with the same car.
EmilyJack's pizzeriaCourtney
- 6 min
Getting High as a Kid: The Booth, Rips and Tears, and the Gravity Bong
#Tim recounts his teenage drug initiation on Long Island — hanging at 'the booth' by the train station, dodging his friend's mom's car, learning to smoke cigarettes at LaFawn's house, his first gravity bong hit, and escalating through weed, acid, coke, and Special K with his friend Shay.
10moments
- 49:59Tim describes The Spot, a half-built clubhouse structure in Long Beach where he and friends would get stoned as kids.
- 50:38Progression from smoking in hidden places as a child to hanging out in cars as a teenager, eventually driving to the Bronx for cocaine.
- 51:01Tim claims there's nothing better than getting fucked up as a young kid, calling his own first time in college pathetic by comparison.
- 51:40He lied to his grandmother about going to Chefs Club in seventh grade, actually going to smoke cigarettes at a girl named LaFawn's house.
- 52:27LaFawn's house had bongs and ashtrays everywhere, and Tim's friends taught him how to smoke a cigarette for the first time.
- 52:59Tim's first experience smoking weed was through a gravity bong, which he used an actual lung to construct.
- 53:38College story: a friend made an entire blunt from a twenty-dollar bag of hydroponic weed, and they went to see Red Dragon after smoking it.
- 54:34Second time smoking weed, Tim ducked out of a teen night event to get high behind a Food Town with friends.
- 55:07After smoking, he returned to the teen night event in his dad's car, set off on a decade of unimaginable horror.
- 55:38Tim and his friend Shay fell in love with weed, frequenting Rips and Tears head shop near the Nassau Coliseum, buying bongs, grinders, and hash before progressing to coke, acid, ecstasy, and special K.
Long BeachSuffolkLaFawnShayNASA ColiseumShell Creek ParkDeannaHector and Sonia+1 more
- 2 min
Life Is Governed by Your Decisions (and a Grindr Paddling Request)
#Tim delivers a sincere message that life is governed by personal decisions, not the Federal Reserve or the president, then undercuts it by reading a Grindr message from a 24-year-old wanting to be hit with a paddle.
4moments
- 56:26Tim argues that your life is governed by your own decisions, not by the Federal Reserve, the president, or anyone else.
- 57:21A 24-year-old on Grindr wants Tim to hit him with a paddle, which he doesn't want to do.
- 57:35Tim worries about permanently damaging someone's genitals by hitting them with a paddle during sex.
- 57:46Tim comments on the lack of vetting that goes on in morgues, imagining what condition bodies arrive in.
- 4 min
Tim runs through upcoming tour dates in New Hampshire, Houston, the Berkshires, and Vermont, plugs the GaS Digital Network subscription and other shows, teases upcoming guests, and signs off for the week.
9moments
- 57:59Tim announces tour dates: Carolines on Broadway November 1-3, Come and Get It Fest in Houston November 18th.
- 58:37November 9th show at Shaskin Pub in Manchester, New Hampshire, where people travel from New York to attend.
- 59:16November 19th performance at The Infield in Pittsfield, Massachusetts in the Berkshires, which Tim describes as having educated crowds.
- 59:41Tim headlining Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington on November 30th, attempting to record a half-hour set there.
- 1:00:06Ray announces the final show of Snippet's Sparkleberry at Noyance, dinner 9 p.m., with tickets available via Twitter or by calling Cole Bruce.
- 1:00:32Election night live public access TV show coming with Chris Gatherd.
- 1:01:03Promo code HELL gives subscribers a way to signal support; iTunes five-star ratings and reviews offered as free alternative.
- 1:01:21Tim explains the show will average about a guest or two per month, with upcoming guests in conspiracy and economics.
- 1:01:46The biggest obstacle to booking accomplished guests is that Tim and Ray themselves are too controversial—many potential guests get canceled just from Googling them.
Legion of SkanksDave SmithHouston, TexasManchester, New Hampshirethe BerkshiresVermont Comedy ClubCarolinesCome and Get It Fest+3 more