Episode 398 · The Studio Revamp
Joe Biden & Something Different | The Tim Dillon Show #398
Jul 6, 2024 · 1:26:35 · 853,000 views · 23 segments, 142 moments indexed
Tim talks about Independence Day, the Biden’s, Hawk Tuah girl, drill rap, the importance of lying, young nihilists, Delta serving moldy meals and blaming Ukraine.
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- 6 min
Biden's Debate Meltdown and the 'Supersonic Drugs' Theory
#Tim opens by mocking calls for panic over Biden's refusal to step down, joking that Jill Biden and Hunter are pushing him to stay while donors flee, and speculates the debate performance showed drugs failing to mask his dementia, comparing it to bad ecstasy pills from the 2000s.
7moments
- Tim opens with observation that Americans should be enjoying the chaos of this political moment more openly.
- Senile man refuses to abdicate the presidency while his wife with a fake doctorate and his crack-addicted son encourage him to stay.
- Everyone saw Biden's cognitive decline coming from ten miles away, but media covered for him by controlling his appearances.
- Biden appeared at the debate with his mouth agape, looking like a hollow husk—a person not actually present.
- They gave him drugs to juice him up for the State of the Union and it worked, but then failed at the debate.
- Tim compares whatever drugs they gave Biden to bad ecstasy pills with Mitsubishi logos that don't work at all.
- They must have him on supersonic drugs, some DARPA alien technology meant to be used against China, but it failed at the debate.
Joe BidenHunter BidenJill BidenAbigail DisneyDemocratic Party
- 6 min
Hamptons Barbecue: Drill Rap, Billionaires, and Biden's Fundraiser
#Tim recounts a Hamptons barbecue with Andrew Schulz and rapper Lil Mabu, a white liberal woman praising drill rap, and a couple who attended a sweaty, humid Biden fundraiser where Jill Biden gave a rambling speech nobody in the crowd actually respected.
10moments
- Tim was at several barbecues in the Hamptons talking to people about various topics.
- A drill rapper told Tim that violence in drill rap has decreased because the lifestyle leads to either death or jail.
- A liberal white woman at the barbecue defended drill rap, saying it gets kids from the Bronx exercising and is important.
- A couple at the barbecue had attended a Biden fundraiser in the Hamptons with 150 wealthy Democratic donors.
- Jill Biden gave a rambling speech about her early dating history with Joe instead of discussing relevant policy issues.
- Tim describes the billionaires at the fundraiser as chubby, sweaty, and sweating through their pink shirts in the humidity.
- Tim compares how billionaires view the president to how high schoolers regard the student council president—with indifference and confusion.
- These wealthy donors are primarily concerned with the optics of the country's image for their businesses, not impressed by the presidency itself.
- The billionaires are like apathetic high schoolers forced to sit through an assembly, unsure why they need a president at all, let alone one with dementia.
- What all 150 people in that sweaty Hampton backyard understand is the importance of lying.
Jill BidenJoe Bidendrill rapEric AdamsMabuThe HamptonsAndrew SchulzBarack Obama
- 4 min
The Art of Lying: Why the Hamptons Elite Keep Biden Propped Up
#He argues the rich donors in that backyard are all fluent liars themselves, and explains that Biden must stay in because stepping down would let Kamala take over and hand the race to Trump, dooming the Biden family to permanent scorn.
7moments
- Tim describes the art of lying as a practiced skill among the wealthy, who create false versions of reality and present them to others as fact.
- Jill Biden keeps her husband in the race despite his inability to speak compellingly, functioning as puppet handler for a dementia patient.
- Biden stepping down would trigger a bloodbath for Trump and permanent scorn for the Democratic elite, which is why they're keeping him in the race.
- Tim argues Biden could have withdrawn two years ago, allowed Kamala to step down, and opened a Democratic primary instead of this current situation.
- Tim compares the scenario to 1990s Hollywood movies about unlikely presidential candidates, where a dementia patient winning would be the better story for the Bidens.
- Jill Biden is betting on an impossible narrative where an elderly president gets elected to a second term and defeats Trump, mimicking movie logic.
- Biden is 100% at fault for the inevitable loss of the White House and the Democrats' defeat by Trump.
- 2 min
The Real Estate Developer, Steve Bing, and the Swordfish Skewer
#Continuing the barbecue story, Tim describes a wealthy host who developed the LA building Tim once lived in and criticized (where Steve Bing jumped to his death), and how Tim quickly changed the subject to the mediocre Hamptons food.
4moments
- Tim meets a wealthy couple in East Hampton, including a white lady discussing drill rap in the backyard.
- The husband mentions developing a building in LA — the same one Tim had criticized and lived in.
- The building was where Steve Bing jumped out the window, and the developers had been unhappy with Tim's vocal discussion of it.
- Tim pivots the conversation to praising the swordfish skewer at the Hampton restaurant instead.
- 5 min
Hawk Tuah Girl and Learning to Stop Being Shocked
#Tim pivots to a broader philosophy of not being shocked by absurd events, using the sudden fame and talent-agency deal of the 'Hawk Tuah' girl as the prime example of something people pretend to be shocked by but shouldn't be.
8moments
- It's not the time to be enraged that Hawk Tuah Girl has been signed to a talent agency—work with her instead of staying indignant.
- Tim shifts to a positive outlook because people discovering apocalyptic language and doom-posting in the last week are bothering him.
- Most people in the country are looking at reality for the first time, peering through the blinds at the terminal decline of the empire.
- His family is behind on things like NFTs, still complaining years later about scams they don't understand.
- People should be learning from past scams to identify the next one, not doing postmortems on ones they weren't part of.
- Tim describes being surrounded by Harvard, Yale, and Princeton grads asking if he can believe Hawk Tuah Girl got signed to a talent agency.
- His answer: yes, he can believe it—in fact, it shocked him it took this long, and why didn't they sign her themselves.
- The biggest rapper at the party is the white prep school kid, but that's believable too in this moment.
- 4 min
The Nihilistic Rich Kid and the Dead-Eyed Hampton Husks
#He describes a young, wealthy, dead-eyed producer friend who has seen everything and feels nothing, and generalizes this into a type of ageless, unshockable Hamptons trust-fund kid who recognizes everyone driving by without even looking.
9moments
- Tim brings a nihilistic rich kid producer from New York to the Hamptons—a blackeyed guy who's over everything and drifts passionlessly between experiences.
- The kid's Instagram shows him on elephants with poachers in Africa, and when he saw Tim's house, he called it cute with that patronizing cadence of someone who's stayed in houses with bowling alleys and sunken tennis courts.
- Tim used to want to be one of these rich people but no longer does—they're dead-eyed little monsters, husks who can't feel anything because they've been destroyed by money.
- Tim argues the kid's dead-eyed nihilism is actually a good thing because nothing impresses him, so he wanders from parties in townhouses to limestone mansions completely unexcited.
- These Hampton kids are so dead-eyed they can sense other scions of nothingness driving past—they'll recognize someone in a pickup truck without even looking at it, like they're reading vibrations.
- The rich kids in their early to mid-twenties are ageless, like little stone gargoyles perched on a building, with names like Grover Wellington that all seem to be around eighty years old.
- When Tim took the nihilistic kid around the Hamptons, he said "the country's a circus" and "we're really deeply fucked," which Tim recognized as the right reaction to reality.
- What's good about those rich kids is they don't follow up their grim assessment with emotional hand-wringing—they just accept it and plan to thrive in the ruins anyway.
- Everyone's having an awakening that they've been lied to on a level they can't even imagine about everything, all the time.
- 6 min
AP's 'Sharp But Confused' Biden Headline and Family Prison Optimism
#Tim mocks an AP headline calling Biden 'sharp and focused but occasionally confused,' argues the media lying is now undeniable, and jokes that family members who might go to prison if Trump wins could actually turn their lives around there.
9moments
- AP headline describes Biden at 81 as 'sharp and focused but sometimes confused'
- People keep asking if he believes Ivanka Trump wants to pursue a comedy career
- Tim argues you can't constantly express disbelief at absurdities in modern entertainment
- Story of a 19-year-old who pretended to be a Russian oligarch's son and was found in the Thames River in London
- Real estate developer Scott Young from 'Ladies of London' jumped from a building in London and was impaled
- Multiple real estate developers tied to Russian oligarchs in London have died in suspicious circumstances that never reach prosecution
- The kid spent his final evening with a gangster and a crypto investor before ending up in the river
- If Trump wins, some members of Tim's family are going to have to go to jail
- Tim has seen people turn their lives around in prison through getting in shape and finding Islam
LondonDonald TrumpJoe BidenScott YoungZack BrettlerAssociated PressLadies of London
- 3 min
DNC Fundraising Math and Whitmer's Fake Kidnapping
#He discusses insider chatter that DNC lawyers could reallocate Biden-Harris donations to a replacement candidate, floating Gavin Newsom or Gretchen Whitmer (whom he mocks for her staged kidnapping story) as potential nominees.
6moments
- DNC people claim they can legally reallocate Biden-Harris donations to any new candidate by putting lawyers in a room and deciding the redistribution.
- Wealthy hedge fund and private equity donors who gave to the Biden campaign are effectively donating to a non-existent entity.
- Tim on the DNC fundraising haul: 127 million raised in June, including 38 million after the debate, despite plummeting Vegas odds on Biden.
- He questions how rich you have to be to keep donating to Biden after that debate performance.
- The DNC will reallocate all that money to whoever they actually run, potentially Gavin Newsom or Gretchen Whitmer.
- Tim pivots to discussing Helix mattresses and why his are so comfortable.
Gretchen WhitmerGavin Newsomprivate equityJoe BidenHelixKamala Harris
- 1 min
Tim reads a Helix Sleep ad, describing the mattress quiz and his own Midnight Luxe mattress, and gives the listener discount code.
3moments
- Mattress shopping is creepy, especially for women—people pressure you to lay on beds.
- Helix offers a quiz that matches you with the right mattress based on your sleeping patterns and preferences.
- Tim took the Helix sleep quiz, got matched with a Midnight Deluxe, and loves it for side sleeping.
- 2 min
He reads an Ethos life insurance ad about getting affordable coverage online without medical exams.
2moments
- Tim emphasizes that parents without life insurance are making a major mistake, and that unexpected things happen to families.
- Ethos offers same-day coverage in three easy steps with no medical exam required, and policies start as low as $10 a month.
- 2 min
Tim reads a Morgan & Morgan personal injury law firm ad, riffing on calling them from a car wreck as the jaws of life pull you out.
4moments
- Tim describes calling Morgan and Morgan while firefighters extract you from a car with the jaws of life.
- When an ambulance attendant offers to call someone, tell them no—call Morgan and Morgan instead.
- Morgan and Morgan only collect if you win; they've recovered over twenty billion dollars for over five hundred thousand clients.
- Tim acts out calling Morgan and Morgan from inside a wrecked car while being pulled out by emergency equipment.
- 9 min
Tim reacts to news of a Delta flight from Detroit to Amsterdam diverted after passengers were served moldy chicken and got sick, comparing passengers' blind trust in Delta to the public's blind trust in an obviously declining Biden, and riffing on the Dr. Phil 'I whooped that ho' girl's OnlyFans fortune as a parallel example of not being shocked by anything.
10moments
- Tim on Delta's decline: once respected, now cratering as an airline compared to other major carriers.
- Dozens of moldy meals served to passengers on a Detroit-to-Amsterdam flight; plane diverted after at least 12 people got sick.
- Flight attendants and passengers failed to notice the obvious black mold on the chicken before eating it.
- Tim: these are the same people shocked Biden is old—unable to recognize clear problems staring them in the face.
- The moldy chicken flight is a perfect allegory for America: people blindly consume what authorities hand them.
- Society needs a third group—people smart enough to question some things while accepting reality, not QAnon nuts or blind believers.
- Tim on the third group's potential: skeptics who question without descending into full schizophrenia and conspiracy.
- Wealthy people in the Hamptons know the system is broken but don't care because they're insulated from the consequences.
- People shocked by everything lack intelligence; constant surprise is actually a bad way to live.
- The Dr. Phil girl who cursed out her mother made $52 million on OnlyFans last year—proof the country is a circus.
- 3 min
Persian Jew Bentley and Hampton Land Rovers
#Tim jokes about his own garish white-and-red Bentley, his car's Hamas-embeds-itself-in-civilians ignition bit, and mocks the Hamptons crowd's old military-style Land Rovers and Broncos.
5moments
- Tim grew up watching 90s trash TV like Jenny Jones and Jerry Springer, where problem kids would be brought on air and then become millionaires later.
- Tim owns two Bentleys and knows about rap, and the leather in them is insane.
- Tim's Persian white Bentley with red and white leather seats is so ridiculous-looking that people stare at him in disgust because he's a Persian Jew living like a Beverly Hills stereotype.
- Tim's Bentley won't even start unless he first says out loud that Hamas embeds itself with civilians, a daily ritual he must perform.
- Hampton residents drive expensive vintage vehicles like old Broncos and Suzukis, which cost an absurd amount of money.
Remy MaSchultzJenny JonesJerry SpringerPhil DonahueRicky Lake
- 1 min
Tim reads an ExpressVPN ad about internet providers selling your data and offers a discount code for three free months.
3moments
- Tim warns that American ISPs are legally allowed to sell your internet activity to third-party companies that will exploit it for profit.
- Connecting to unsecured public Wi-Fi networks puts you at risk of identity theft, bank account compromise, and worse.
- ExpressVPN offer: three extra months free when signing up at expressvpn.com/TimDillon.
- 1 min
He reads a BlueChew ad for chewable erectile dysfunction medication, joking about the excitement of getting the package in the mail.
1moment
- Tim's personal advice: have BlueChew on hand even if you think you don't need it, because you could be missing out on the best sex of your life.
- 6 min
Boomers Never Had to Earn Anything
#Tim expands his 'dead-eyed husk' philosophy into a rant about Boomers being handed easy office jobs, complaining about meetings and lunch breaks while having none of the hustle demanded of younger generations.
6moments
- Boomers were given everything—cheap real estate, easy jobs, 401ks—without having to cultivate any skills or question authority.
- Tim's aunt claims Boomers worked hard and never questioned anything, unlike the smarter younger generation.
- Majority of Boomers sat in air-conditioned offices eating lunch, not toiling in factories as they claim.
- Boomer office workers would immediately discuss lunch upon sitting down, then plan cocktails and happy hours.
- Tim describes Boomers complaining about meetings as though sitting in a room listening to someone talk was actual suffering.
- Every Boomer workplace problem boils down to the fact that nobody handed them the entire company to run.
- 4 min
Hunter Biden's Dead Eyes and the Media Turning on the Bidens
#Tim discusses Hunter Biden joining White House meetings after the debate, questioning whether the whole family is on drugs, and predicts the media—having covered for the Bidens for years—is about to turn on them viciously now that Biden's decline can no longer be hidden.
8moments
- Tim speculates whether Hunter is the only Biden on drugs or if the whole family might be.
- Hunter's dead-eyed stare while his father gives a speech about military risk.
- Tim argues Hunter's expression suggests knowledge of Biden family involvement in Ukraine and China dealings.
- Biden was supposed to be president in the 80s before being exposed as a plagiarist who lied about his speeches.
- The media has been protecting the Bidens and showing little interest in Hunter's gas company work in Ukraine or his laptop.
- Twitter and the media suppressed the laptop story and ran interference for the family.
- The media's sudden turn on Biden was pre-ordained; talking points went out after the debate to throw him overboard.
- Now that they're out, the media will sink its teeth into the Biden family.
- 4 min
Jill Biden Wants Joe to Die (For Two Reasons)
#Tim lays out his theory that Jill Biden is actually pushing Joe toward death: first so the scandal dies with him, second so she can be rehabilitated as a sympathetic widow doing the media circuit.
7moments
- Jill Biden knows they'll never have peace unless they win the election, and the media will expose everything the family has hidden.
- Tim wonders if Jill was involved in the death of Joe's first wife.
- The Biden family dynamic—Joe, Jill, and Hunter—functions like a gangster protection racket: stay in power and you're safe, leave and you're destroyed.
- Jill wants Joe to die for two main reasons.
- If Biden dies in office, the scandals die with him and the media won't pursue a dead president as aggressively.
- As a widow, Jill's public image can be rehabilitated—she could appear on talk shows and be treated like Jackie Kennedy.
- Tim refuses to compare Jill Biden, a fake doctor, to Jackie Kennedy, whom he describes as the classiest woman who ever lived.
- 1 min
Jill Biden Is No Jackie Kennedy
#He mocks a comparison of Jill Biden to Jackie Kennedy, contrasting Kennedy's classiness with Biden's substitute-teacher, Batman-villain energy.
3moments
- Jill Biden should be teaching summer school to emotionally disturbed children, not being First Lady like Jackie Kennedy was.
- Jackie Kennedy was Fifth Avenue elegance; Jill Biden looks like a Batman villain, specifically the Riddler.
- Tim claims he's heard Biden is leaving this week but doesn't have insider knowledge, only what filters down into backyard parties.
- 7 min
Tim predicts that just as the media turned on the Bidens, it's about to turn on Zelensky and Ukraine, citing reports that NATO will tell Ukraine it's too corrupt to join, and argues the US is preparing to blame Ukraine for a war it directed, ahead of an eventual peace deal.
10moments
- Tim explains the U.S. is now throwing Ukraine off the boat the same way it threw Biden overboard.
- The whole Ukraine-NATO situation was actually about preventing Russian weapons systems from pointing at Moscow, which is exactly why Putin invaded.
- NATO officials just announced Ukraine is too corrupt to join, revealing this was never about supporting the Ukrainian people.
- Foreign policy experts warn that admitting Ukraine to NATO would trigger Article 5 and rupture the coalition.
- Everyone already knew Ukraine was corrupt and racist before the Russian invasion; the media just ignored it to push the Russia narrative.
- The entire strategy is about bleeding the Russian military dry, and Ukraine is being used as a state department money laundering scheme.
- Tim predicts the U.S. will withdraw from Ukraine and blame them for being corrupt, when in reality America told Ukraine to do everything it did.
- The media is about to turn on Zelenskyy and Ukraine the same way they turned on the Bidens—the American people are sick of the war.
- Russia isn't getting humiliated, so instead the U.S. will walk back support by claiming Ukraine is too corrupt to help, even though we could have enabled their victory.
- Someone at a Hampton party will soon be eating crab cake while complaining about how corrupt Ukraine is, having learned nothing about who actually caused the problem.
UkraineVolodymyr ZelenskyyJoe BidenNATOAfghanistanVladimir PutinIraqRussia+2 more
- 5 min
The Husks Will Outlive Us All
#Tim returns to his thesis that emotionally checked-out rich 'husks' survive every era of decline by staying casual, comparing today's America to a waiting empire and predicting a future Chinese equivalent, while quoting Lil Mabu lyrics as a fitting soundtrack.
8moments
- Tim on enjoying the moment in American history rather than stressing: you must relax and see things happen.
- The black-eyed husk will outlive us all because they never get too high or too low, never too emotionally invested.
- Rich people die in extreme accidents—skiing at 65 mph, climbing mountains—because their lives are so boring they're trying to feel something.
- The dead husks survive and maintain their perch in society by being casual about chaos, and that's how you fight back too.
- China will eventually have the same fate: a little Chinese husk in an EV Bentley, same pattern across all empires.
- At this terminal point in the empire, it's a waiting game, not a game of bold moves and vision.
- The real strategy is waiting in the dark recesses to feast on whatever the gods offer, no different from the Aztec temple.
- Tim recites Maboo lyrics about taking her on a trip and signing his name on her body as the perfect primer for where the country is at.
ChinaAztec Temple
- 3 min
Tim briefly mentions upcoming shows at Westhampton PAC around Labor Day and dates in Salt Lake City in July.
6moments
- Tim on finding a woman like Jill Biden who would commit public sacrifice for social status.
- Tim announces he's going to the Kennedy Compound tomorrow, leaving his family behind.
- America needs elite families to function but they can't wall themselves off and give up on the country.
- Too many people have given up on America, and that's literally the problem.
- Tim's philosophy: find what you can in the rubble and move on, don't be shocked when the elite abandon the country.
- Tour dates: West Hampton shows around Labor Day at the Performing Arts Center.
Jill BidenKennedy CompoundElite families
- 3 min
Closing: Jill Biden Must Kill Her Husband in 48 Hours
#Tim closes by returning to Jill Biden as the one who must 'sacrifice' Joe, describing the darkness in her eyes, her Vogue cover, and predicting a dramatic state funeral with an Obama eulogy as the resolution to the whole saga.
6moments
- Jill Biden at the apex of her power, walking this corpse from room to room—she cannot stop because the family can't afford what comes next.
- Tim reads darkness in her eyes and compares it to wearing sunglasses to keep people away from him.
- She talks about their marriage proposal like it happened in the Mesozoic era, spanning 40-plus years.
- Her Vogue cover says 'We will decide our future'—a funny statement for a first lady photo.
- Boomers get one last dance on the ashes of the country before they have to be dragged out by the sheriff, like an eviction.
- Jill Biden must kill her husband in front of everybody—then we might almost forgive her.