Episode 350 · The Studio Revamp
How To Help | The Tim Dillon Show #350
Jun 18, 2023 · 1:16:13 · 590,000 views · 31 segments, 165 moments indexed
Tim discusses visiting crumbling American cities for fun, Ubering to the writer’s strike and why the New York Times is writing about Ukrainian soliders' fashion.
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- 1 min
Cold Open: Apologies for the Delay
#Tim opens by apologizing for the show being a day late, mentioning they skipped a week for a Two Bears with Tom Segura crossover episode.
1moment
- Cold open: Tim welcomes listeners and apologizes for the delay in releasing episodes
- 2 min
Studio Revamp, Movie Role, and San Francisco Ticket Sales
#Tim explains the studio renovation, discusses being busy filming a supposed mega-blockbuster movie, and brags about strong ticket sales in Chicago and San Francisco despite the city's decline.
5moments
- Tim explains they're a day late because they took last week off for a two-bear episode with Tom Segura.
- Studio revamp in progress while Tim was committed to a movie role—one scene that he says was the glue holding the film together.
- The film shoot monopolized three months of his time, preventing him from touring as usual.
- Chicago and San Francisco shows: sold out Chicago Theater, nearly sold out the Masonic in San Francisco.
- Despite the city's condition, they sold about 2,000 tickets in San Francisco, which Tim considers a solid result.
- 4 min
San Francisco as Disaster Tourism
#Tim compares San Francisco's decline to Detroit's collapse and pitches the idea that visiting devastated cities to gawk at addicts and decay is the new frontier of American tourism, calling it more authentic than escape rooms or haunted houses.
9moments
- San Francisco is the next American city to fall, like Detroit did.
- The city has amazing food—Tim ate incredible Chinese food at a random restaurant after a show.
- San Francisco is as bad as it's going to get; Tim doesn't know how it could get worse.
- There's nothing to do in the city except engage in disaster tourism, which requires being sick to enjoy.
- Tim witnessed a fentanyl addict injecting himself in the street and acknowledges it's sad but you have to make the best of it.
- Future American tourism will shift from places like Yellowstone to visiting dying cities that everyone is fleeing.
- Sitting in a Chinese restaurant looking outside at homeless people on motorized chairs draped in capes becomes entertainment.
- San Francisco has become a ghoulish attraction, but the food is great and it's fun if you stay alert.
- Americans escape to manufactured danger in escape rooms instead of going to the cities their politics have destroyed.
- 4 min
Gawking at the Homeless Helps Them (and a Woman in a Wheelchair)
#Tim elaborates on his theory that tourists gawking at drug addicts in San Francisco is actually a form of aid, riffing on a specific woman on a motorized scooter he asks the producer to zoom in on, then reflects on his own past drug addiction in his early 20s.
8moments
- Adults should visit disaster areas like Flint, Michigan instead of doing escape rooms or haunted houses.
- Gawking at homeless people in their moment of need actually helps them because tourism money benefits the local economy.
- Tim describes reaching a point in his early twenties on drugs where he was no longer a human being—just a thing that wanted to feel better.
- During addiction, you exist in a binary state: either high or anxiety-ridden trying to get drugs; those are the only two options.
- Modern drugs like fentanyl and tranq dope have created people who may as well be animatronic at this point.
- The homeless are making shapes with their bodies that no one's ever seen before, bending and shifting in ways that are visually amazing.
- Tim wants the camera to close up on a person in a wheelchair wearing big hats and black capes in post-apocalyptic fashion.
- Going to gawk and giggle at people in crisis actually helps them, even though it doesn't seem like it does.
- 4 min
The Real Causes of San Francisco's Homeless Crisis
#Tim argues the city's homelessness problem isn't just about housing costs but also rampant normalized drug use and lax policing, and doubles down on his claim that tourist dollars gawking at the crisis genuinely help the city.
6moments
- Tim describes a visibly struggling person in San Francisco as one of the better-looking people in the city right now.
- San Francisco has let cities descend into chaos by normalizing drug use instead of forcing treatment or arrest.
- The homeless problem is not just about housing costs—it's about rampant drug use being tolerated everywhere in the city.
- Tim argues that gawking at destroyed lives in San Francisco as a tourist is actually the most humane response available.
- Making San Francisco a tourism destination for people seeking to observe the chaos is the right thing to do because it brings tax revenue.
- Tourism infuses the city with capital, which is what San Francisco actually needs right now.
- 2 min
Tim transitions into a Morgan and Morgan law firm ad, riffing on car accident statistics and fake whiplash before reciting the call-to-action.
7moments
- If better policies won't happen, treat the country like a haunted house theme park and eat good food at El Farolito while watching the chaos.
- Tim has been in multiple car accidents, some possibly his fault, and wishes he'd had Morgan and Morgan to handle the aftermath.
- 35% of fatal accidents occur between 6 p.m. and midnight; people aged 25 to 34 have the highest rate of involvement in crashes.
- Morgan and Morgan operates more like an app than a traditional law firm—submitting a claim is as easy as eating pie.
- The core pitch: if you were injured or rear-ended in an accident, call Morgan and Morgan to file a claim.
- Tim mentions a Brentwood mom hit him and claims he got whiplash from it, joking about whether it's real or fake.
- Morgan and Morgan takes no fees unless they win; contact them at forthepeople.com or by dialing pound law.
- 3 min
Boy Meets World Cast Joins the WGA Picket Line
#Tim mocks the cast of Boy Meets World showing up at WGA strike picket lines, comparing their career decline to the homeless people he just described, and sets up a Mr. Feeney parody clip.
5moments
- Tim describes the Boy Meets World cast as looking as bad as citizens of San Francisco.
- LA has been great for months because God hates the writers and loves executives.
- Tim explains what happens when actors get thrown out of the business: they're done, their lives become horrible.
- The Boy Meets World cast is only getting attention now because of the WGA strike.
- Fred Savage, the actual star of Boy Meets World, didn't even show up to the picket line.
Boy Meets WorldNetflixTed SarandosFred Savage
- 1 min
The Mr. Feeney Parody Clip
#A parody bit plays featuring a fake Bill Daniels/Mr. Feeney addressing the writers' strike, which Tim reacts to as painfully unfunny.
5moments
- Tim recalls the 1960s as an important time and explains why people sought out one specific person for wisdom and clarity.
- He mentions he doesn't usually do the call anymore but decides to make an exception for this moment.
- Mr. Feeney character appears, introducing himself as Bill Daniels and saying he's held riders in the highest regard.
- The character claims he'd rather watch the Ukraine war than do something, then delivers generic motivational advice about believing in yourself and dreaming.
- Tim returns, expressing that watching the parody was very tough and very sad.
Mr. FeenyUkraine
- 2 min
Imagining the Boy Meets World Cast's Sad Afterlife
#Tim riffs further on the Boy Meets World cast, imagining Rider Strong driving an Uber Pool after the picket appearance and joking about the has-been writers on the WGA lines.
6moments
- Tim imagines the cast of Boy Meets World reuniting and how depressing it would be to watch them perform together now.
- Mr. Feeney was a principal on Boy Meets World but nobody cares about that anymore—nobody cares about anything.
- Tim speculates what happened to the cast after the reunion, imagining Ryder Strong getting in an old car, lighting a cigarette, and staring into the gloom.
- Ryder Strong is driving an Uber pool and asks Topanga to request it because he actually has to work.
- The picket lines look like Night of the Living Dead—people who haven't worked in forever, some brought in from San Francisco.
- If San Francisco feels like too much disaster tourism, the WGA picket lines in Hollywood offer the same spectacle of people whose lives are in complete disarray.
Boy Meets WorldRyder StrongWGA strikeMr FeeneyTopangaWe wish them well
- 4 min
Tim reads a New York Times story acknowledging Nazi symbols worn by Ukrainian soldiers, mocking the paper's euphemistic "thorny" framing and arguing the media narrative around Ukraine's heroism is starting to crack.
6moments
- New York Times acknowledges Nazi symbols on Ukraine's front lines, calling them 'thorny issues of history.'
- Tim breaks down the headline: troops using Nazi patches risks fueling propaganda, not the reality that they like Nazis.
- Media pinned medals on these guys early on, but Ukraine has been a hotbed of white supremacy and literal Nazism for years.
- The media called everyone with differing opinions a Nazi for years, diluting the term until actual Nazis became invisible.
- New York Times finally admitting Ukrainian soldiers are wearing Nazi patches, including the Totenkopf symbol.
- Tim's take: the Times framing patches as 'aiding Russian propaganda' rather than acknowledging what the patches actually represent.
New York TimesNazismUkraine
- 5 min
NATO Encirclement and the Real History of the Ukraine War
#Tim lays out a geopolitical argument that NATO expansion and Ukraine's treatment of Russian speakers explain Russia's invasion, criticizes American ignorance of world history, and predicts the media will pivot on Ukraine.
9moments
- Tim explains that understanding the Ukraine war requires basic world history knowledge, which most Hollywood celebrities commenting on it lack.
- NATO and the U.S. have acted as imperialist aggressors while encircling Russia, a country with legitimate historical fears of invasion.
- Ukraine has been ethnically cleansing Russian-speaking people, banning political parties and the Russian Orthodox Church, with CIA-backed paramilitary troops purging Russian loyalists.
- Tim clarifies he's not arguing Putin is Bernie Sanders, but rather that the Ukraine conflict is complex and rooted in U.S. encroachment into Russia's sphere.
- Americans are profoundly ignorant of world history, knowing nothing beyond recent TV shows like Selling Sunset.
- The U.S. obsesses over domestic culture war debates while ignoring global history that would clarify current geopolitical conflicts.
- The New York Times having to apologize for Nazi patches worn by U.S.-funded soldiers signals there's worse information coming down the line.
- When major outlets publish distraction articles about fashion during military offensives, it means they're getting ahead of bigger revelations.
- This war will unwind and resolve much faster than the Iraq War did.
NATONew York TimesVladimir PutinCIARussiahistory education in AmericaUkraineSelling Sunset+1 more
- 2 min
Predicting the Zelensky Gaslighting and Vaccine Comparisons
#Tim compares the coming media reversal on Zelensky to how Christine Blasey Ford and Meghan Markle were discarded once useful, and likens it to vaccine messaging gaslighting.
6moments
- Tim compares vaccine mandates and ongoing promotion to the Afghanistan withdrawal—officials claiming everything is fine while outcomes contradict them.
- After a good scam, real hustlers leave quietly instead of following up; Tim applies this to the vaccine push that hasn't stopped.
- Zelensky will be discarded by the U.S. government once he's no longer useful, just like Christine Blasey Ford, Meghan and Harry, and other figures.
- Zelensky is on his fourteenth minute of relevance; the government is beginning to prepare people for a total reversal through selective reporting.
- The coming gaslighting will deny support for Ukrainian Nazis ever happened, mirroring how Trudeau now claims he never mandated vaccines.
- Tim notes articles already appearing with seeds of the narrative shift—casually acknowledging that Ukrainian forces wear Nazi insignia.
Volodymyr ZelenskyyChristine Blasey FordJustin TrudeauMeghan MarklePrince HarryBrett Kavanaugh
- 2 min
Tim reads the Manscaped ad for their Performance Package 4.0 and Beard Hedger Pro kit, plugging the discount code.
2moments
- Tim questions whether you can call yourself an American without a Lawnmower 4.0 trimmer.
- Manscape expanded beyond genital grooming to nose and ear hair trimming for sprouting hair everywhere.
- 2 min
Tim sets up his takedown of a CBS News segment about environmentally friendly vacations, contrasting it with real news like Trump's indictment and Biden's Burisma issues, calling the segment absurd given the state of the country.
5moments
- Tim asks if cruises are popular because they're an efficient way to get thousands of morbidly obese people into the middle of the ocean.
- CBS News is running an ecotourism story while Trump faces indictment, Biden deals with Ukraine business questions, and confidence in the justice system crumbles.
- Tim criticizes CBS for focusing on methane emissions during vacations when most Americans can't afford to travel at all.
- CBS ignores Food Bank lines, hungry children, and neglected rural America to target the luxury demographic that can afford to think about environmentally sound vacations.
- Tim calls this one of the most insane media segments he's seen in a very long time.
- 2 min
Tim reacts to the CBS Weekender segment introducing a guest named Tree to discuss ecotourism, joking about the choice of name and framing.
3moments
- CBS News segment on ecotourism features a guest named Tree Mint from Discover Magazine
- Tim notes CBS's apparent desperation to find a trans person named Tree for the segment instead of using their existing trans guest Sarah
- Tim argues ecotourism is vaguely defined marketing—wealthy people glamping and taking Instagram photos while claiming to lower their carbon footprint
ecotourismCBS News
- 4 min
Tim continues mocking the CBS segment as Tree suggests going to the ocean or helping scientists hatch turtles, pointing out how condescending and vacuous the advice is.
7moments
- CBS News reports that you can go to the ocean as an eco-friendly vacation destination.
- Tim questions what Americans do on vacations that's so ecologically unfriendly they don't already do every day.
- The segment's pitch: don't fly to theme parks, go to the ocean instead—which is where most people go in summer anyway.
- The eco-tourism guest plugs citizen science opportunities, claiming scientists need help from everyday Americans to monitor dolphins and see what's in the ocean.
- Tim challenges why scientists supposedly need American civilians to hatch turtles and monitor dolphins if they have funding.
- Americans will just eat whatever they find while doing citizen science—turtles and dolphins going into a pot.
- Tim points out scientists didn't want public input on vaccines but now claim they need citizens to finger-fuck and hatch turtles.
CBS NewsCatherine Herridge
- 3 min
Tim jokes that Tree should have told viewers that having heterosexual sex, kids, and going to church are the biggest carbon footprints, then wraps up mocking the segment's disaster tourism comments and pivots toward the Dippin Dots story.
6moments
- Tree advises that heterosexual sex, having children in marriage, and going to church leave the biggest carbon footprint.
- Tim jokes about CBS using stock footage of Black Africans whose tour bus overturned, wandering lost in the bush.
- Tree recommends supporting local operations and communities to ensure money goes back into ecosystem health and wellness.
- Discussing disaster tourism and whether it's helpful or exploitative.
- Tim interrupts to claim the Red Cross traffics kids, dismisses Tree's advice about San Francisco disaster tourism as wrong.
- Tim pivots to the CEO of Dippin Dots and whether he strangled his girlfriend.
- 4 min
Tim explains the story of the Dippin Dots CEO Scott Fisher arrested for strangling his girlfriend while drunk and naked, riffing on the brand's rest-stop ice cream and the absurdity of the story being news.
8moments
- Tim explains Dippin Dots as frozen pellets of ice cream that look like rabbit droppings, usually found at rest stops.
- Story: Tim and someone stole Dippin Dots from Wawa and never paid for them.
- The Dippin Dots CEO Scott Fisher was arrested for public intoxication, domestic violence by strangulation, and running outside naked in a drunken rage.
- Tim jokes the girlfriend probably insulted the ice cream, saying it had always sucked.
- Fisher attacked the woman hours after she confronted him about his alcohol abuse, which had escalated over several weeks.
- Tim shifts to mental health crisis: the country's untreated mental illness is so severe that many people are on the brink of breakdown or violence.
- Tennessee man murdered his estranged wife, her daughter, and three kids after she took him to court; he owned 50 or 60 guns and she feared he would get drunk and shoot.
- Tim: being pro-gun to a degree, but owning 50 or 60 guns might indicate something's wrong, though he expects to be attacked in comments for saying so.
Scott FisherDippin Dotsmental health
- 3 min
Tim discusses a horrific Tennessee case where a man with dozens of guns murdered his estranged wife and children, using it to argue that untreated mental illness and gun stockpiling are becoming a serious problem.
5moments
- Tim questions whether someone really needs 60 rifles to prepare for the apocalypse.
- A Tennessee man shot and killed his wife and children after she warned the court he might do exactly that.
- She had verbally warned authorities and the court system that he posed a threat before he killed her and their kids.
- Tim notes the man may not have even had a job while his wife worked at a handle factory.
- Tim imagines Rogers and Hammerstein trying to write a musical about modern America where factory workers execute their own families.
Rogers and HammersteinBarnett
- 1 min
Oklahoma Musicals vs. Modern Horror
#Tim riffs on how the wholesome musical Oklahoma! contrasts absurdly with the modern reality of factory workers committing murder-suicides in the same state.
1moment
- Tim contrasts the optimistic musicals of Oklahoma's era with the dark realities of modern life, noting the founder of Dippin Dots was strangling his wife.
- 1 min
Tim reads the ExpressVPN ad, describing its no-log policy, trusted server technology, and ease of use.
1moment
- Tim pitches ExpressVPN as protection against data harvesting by governments, hackers, and advertisers.
- 2 min
Tim promotes the Bespoke Post subscription box service, describing the quiz-based personalization and discount code.
3moments
- Tim explains how Bespoke Post works: take a quiz about your interests, receive a curated box monthly with products from small brands.
- He describes the appeal of opening the monthly box and being surprised by how well the quiz knew his preferences.
- Tim recommends buying the subscription for college-age kids as a way to keep them occupied so they stop complaining about Biden.
- 1 min
Studio Expansion Plans and East Coast Setup
#Tim talks about plans to build a similar studio setup in New York for mobility while touring the East Coast, and muses about possibly leaving LA again.
3moments
- Tim announces plans to set up a studio on the East Coast with a similar setup to the LA location, complete with a New York backdrop.
- He expresses concern about LA's rapid deterioration and suggests he may eventually leave the city again, though he's uncertain about timing.
- The reason for the East Coast expansion: having a mobile setup allows them to do the show from the East Coast whenever they're touring there.
- 2 min
Reflecting on Tour Stops and Marketing Philosophy
#Tim reflects on his favorite venues (Chicago Theater, the Masonic), his dislike of promotional photo-ops, and his low-key approach to marketing relying on word of mouth.
6moments
- San Francisco's Masonic and Chicago Theater are two of Tim's favorite venues in the world.
- Tim doesn't do a ton of marketing compared to others who are more adept at showing everything.
- Word of mouth matters and sells a lot of tickets because he talks to people every week on the show.
- Tim has carved out his path doing it his way with a lo-fi, light-touch approach to putting content out there.
- The show will be back in the studio every week now that touring is wrapping up.
- A streamer just signed a hundred million dollar two-year contract on Kick, not Twitch.
- 1 min
Streaming Platform Shakeup: xQc's $100 Million Kick Deal
#Tim discusses streamer xQc's massive contract move from Twitch to Kick, and floats the idea of uploading the show to Twitter or Rumble.
3moments
- xQc looks like a Sasha Baron Cohen character
- Tim notes xQc's $100 million two-year deal with Kick after leaving Twitch signals a shift in streaming platforms
- Tim wishes the Ukraine well
xQc
- 2 min
John Mearsheimer and the Doubt Creeping into the Ukraine Narrative
#Tim cites geopolitical analyst John Mearsheimer's sober take that Russia may now have the upper hand, framing this as part of a broader societal shift in doubting the war's endgame.
6moments
- Tim expresses sympathy for displaced and killed Ukrainians while emphasizing this isn't a celebration of war.
- Wars usually end in compromise and treaty, though Tim admits uncertainty about whether that applies here.
- New York Times coverage shifting to skepticism about support for Ukraine signals a broader change in public sentiment.
- People are starting to doubt the resources committed to the conflict and question whether there's a clear endgame.
- John Mearsheimer does the best work analyzing Ukraine and represents one of the few voices worth listening to on the issue.
- Mearsheimer approaches the conflict with cold, sober analysis rather than ideology or emotion — something America lacks anymore.
- 3 min
Kamala Harris's Bizarre Public Cadence
#Tim plays a Glenn Greenwald-shared Kamala Harris clip, mocking her strange manic cadence and speculating she senses her political career and Biden's presidency crumbling.
8moments
- Tim observes that people discussing grave national issues are themselves mentally destroyed.
- Glenn Greenwald claimed Tim Dillon was first to say Kamala Harris has crossed into genuinely entertaining territory.
- Tim describes Harris as completely incapable of speaking rationally, prone to weird colloquialisms and lapses.
- If someone walked into his house exhibiting Harris's behavior, Tim says he'd be genuinely scared for them.
- This cadence is not the pattern of someone who is well, Tim argues.
- Harris was elevated to vice president through identity politics despite being a cop who sent truancy police after parents.
- Tim predicted months ago that after Kanye, people would have massive public meltdowns visible in real time.
- Harris is losing her mind in front of people, which Tim identifies as unprecedented for a sitting vice president.
- 2 min
Tim discusses Target pulling Pride merchandise amid backlash, arguing that public opinion shifted after gender ideology started targeting young children rather than simple issues like gay marriage.
5moments
- Target pulled his 'I'm gay for Vladimir Putin' Pride shirt again.
- The real backlash stems from gender ideology being pushed on children in schools, not just Pride flags.
- People were fine with gay marriage until the focus shifted to telling four-year-olds they could be any gender.
- Parents don't want music teachers diagnosing children with gender dysphoria and steering them toward permanent body changes.
- The resulting backlash has escalated to insane levels, with outlets claiming gay people are killing Christianity.
Targetgender ideology in schools
- 4 min
Kids, Gender Ideology, and Parental Autonomy
#Tim argues kids should be left alone rather than steered into gender identity decisions at a young age, criticizing both extremes of the debate and questioning parents who claim their young children are also non-binary like them.
10moments
- Parents should have autonomy to raise kids according to their own cultural values, whether Middle Eastern, Evangelical Christian, or American mainstream.
- It's not the government's job to be people's parents; if someone is going to be gay or trans, they will be regardless.
- Five-year-olds shouldn't have gender ideology actively introduced to them; kids should be left alone and allowed to just be kids.
- Tim questions why seven-year-olds are being told they have agency to physically change their bodies and pick a gender at that age.
- The real issue isn't with being transgender but with pharmaceutical companies and medical changes being pushed on children.
- Many children who experience gender confusion at seven or nine become gay or lesbian without medical intervention once puberty happens.
- People are afraid to have honest discussions about childhood gender ideology because they don't want to be called transphobic, while the other extreme wants to turn America into Saudi Arabia.
- Alex Jones's standard that you become an adult at eighteen and can do what you want if it doesn't hurt others is reasonable, and medical transition shouldn't be completely banned but shouldn't be introduced so young.
- When a mother claims she's trans, non-binary, and all her kids are also trans and non-binary, the odds seem suspicious—is this something they chose or something she introduced?
- Parents introducing gender theory to children at an age where kids have no idea what it is risks them making irreversible decisions that impact them later in life.
- 4 min
Tim shows and reacts to a viral clip of a trans woman volleyball player spiking a ball into an opponent's face, discussing the athlete's resulting injuries and arguing biological male advantages are dominating women's sports.
7moments
- Tim says the push for trans inclusion in sports goes beyond acceptance—it's become intrusive in every space, including athletics and education.
- A trans woman spikes a volleyball directly into an opposing player's face during a women's game.
- Tim argues biological males have such overwhelming physical advantages that they will dominate women's sports under current rules.
- The pattern shows biological men entering women's sports, not the reverse, which Tim suggests says something about biology.
- The spiked player describes suffering a concussion, neck injury, partial paralysis, impaired vision, and ongoing headaches from the hit.
- Tim acknowledges the injured player may be exaggerating her recovery claims but maintains the situation itself is fundamentally wrong.
- He draws a line: biological men can fight women in certain contexts, but not in official athletics where judges are scoring.
Riley Gaines
- 1 min
Tim lists upcoming tour dates in Philadelphia, Denver, Las Vegas, and New Hampshire, plugs timberlandcomedy.com and his social media, and signs off.
3moments
- Tour dates: Parks Casino in Philly September 8th and 9th, Denver Comedy Works in July, the Wynn in Vegas in July, and Hampton Beach Casino in New Hampshire August 19th.
- All tickets available at timberlandcomedy.com; follow Tim J Dillon on Instagram and Twitter where the show may start being uploaded.
- Tim's closing message: go spike the ball in life, use your advantages, spike the ball and hit them in the face.