Episode 391 · The Studio Revamp
Boomer Bashing & Campus Protests | The Tim Dillon Show #391
May 4, 2024 · 1:17:20 · 439,000 views · 15 segments, 104 moments indexed
Tim talks about touring one of the college campus protests, a boomer YouTube video targeting him, the royal family’s jam, Saturday not being for the boys and why everything’s a casino now.
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- 13 min
Infiltrating the UCLA Encampment as a 'Revolutionary'
#Tim describes visiting the UCLA pro-Palestinian encampment after a comedy set at the Hollywood Improv, taking selfies with protesters, getting waved in after claiming not to be a Zionist, meeting a mix of activists including tiny non-binary Asian people dressed like Hamas, and losing his Bentley in the parking maze before a police crackdown seemed imminent.
10moments
- Tim drove his Bentley to the UCLA encampment after leaving the Hollywood Improv and spent 30 minutes meeting protesters.
- To enter the encampment, he had to declare he wasn't a Zionist—a security measure the organizers believed would keep out FBI infiltrators.
- A fan told Tim that police were planning to move in with tear gas and rubber bullets around 1 a.m., prompting him to leave before the crackdown.
- The protests lack focus, mixing Palestinian causes with unrelated grievances like anti-whiteness and George Floyd references.
- These college kids don't have what it takes to actually be in Hamas, despite their enthusiasm for the cause.
- Police maintain a monopoly on violence in civilized countries, and college kids occupying universities won't change that reality.
- The event lacked proper catering and appetizers, revealing poor planning similar to badly organized parties.
- Tiny non-binary Asian people dressed like Muslims with walkie-talkies represented the kind of absurd, unserious fun America has lost to corporate boredom.
- Tim encountered a Jewish man outside the encampment who said he looked Jewish and noted that Jewish students felt outnumbered on campus.
- When the Jewish man kept pitching his nightlife app, Tim joked he'd put on the Palestinian scarf if he didn't stop.
- 3 min
Hamas Commitment vs. Vegan/Gluten-Free Protest Demands
#Tim contrasts Hamas's violent commitment to their cause with student protesters' demands for vegan, gluten-free food, sunscreen-free lotion, and no bagels, mocking the mismatch between militancy and catering logistics.
5moments
- Tim argues Hamas deserves credit for commitment to their vision, however disagreeable, compared to student protesters.
- Student protest demands include vegan and gluten-free food, sunscreen without chemicals, and extensive gear lists.
- Tim notes the optics problem with protesters eating bagels while protesting Israel.
- Requesting gluten-free and vegan options at a militant protest undermines the stated militancy of the movement.
- The contradiction of being explicitly pro-Hamas while demanding lotion delivery to the quad is inherently silly.
- 4 min
Riots, Property Destruction, and the State's Monopoly on Violence
#He argues that breaking laws and property invites police response regardless of the cause's legitimacy, using the Seattle CHAZ autonomous zone and post-George Floyd backlash as examples of how riots erode public sympathy.
8moments
- Tim wanted to attend Columbia journalism school as a kid because he wanted to be a journalist.
- Breaking private property and using violence means the state will respond with arrest and force, because society has laws.
- Riots don't make people more sympathetic to a cause; when violence starts, people see agents of chaos and want order instead.
- After George Floyd, people agreed police treatment of suspects was a problem, but months of city riots changed the narrative entirely.
- Most people see the riots as chaos, not progress—24-year-olds in Bushwick support it, but the vast majority want order.
- Tim describes a bleeding rioter at Columbia as aesthetically hot, embodying the archetype of a vegan Hamas activist covered in blood.
- College is supposed to be fun, and there's a lot of antisemitic violence happening right now that nobody wants to discuss.
- There's apparently great sex happening at Columbia and across colleges during the protests, but nobody wants to talk about it.
- 3 min
The Hot Bleeding Guy and Hate-[Redacted] at Columbia
#Tim riffs on a hot, bleeding protester at Columbia, joking about the sexual tension and 'vegan Hamas' hookup culture supposedly happening amid the campus unrest, and wishing a Jewish friend of his was caught up in it.
8moments
- Tim recalls a YouTube woman who disagreed with his Boomer critiques.
- His upcoming book uses the Boomers as a central theme of his life story.
- Tim explains that his most influential people were his friends' parents, not his friends themselves.
- Those Boomer parents were selfish and acted more like friends than authority figures.
- Tim describes the Boomer generation as evaporating but currently making their last stand running corporations and government.
- He defends his 'Millennials should go die in the Ukraine' comment as comedy that some people are allergic to.
- The YouTube woman is sweet and will get to make her point, though Tim remains open to being wrong.
- Tim jabs at Columbia students with an offensive phrase before letting the clip play.
BoomersDiary of a CEO podcast
- 14 min
The Boomer Woman's Rebuttal Video
#Tim reacts point-by-point to a long, rambling YouTube video from a Boomer woman rebutting his Boomer-bashing bit, mocking her digressions about her Uncle Earl the bishop, Eisenhower, Kill Tony, Joe Rogan, and her eventual pivot to how she was raised in a convent as proof Boomers were fine.
10moments
- Tim discusses the constant ticking sound throughout the woman's video, comparing it to the opening of 60 Minutes.
- The woman argues that Boomer bashing perpetuates negative stereotypes and fosters intergenerational resentment.
- Tim predicts the video will be a litany of complaints where the woman claims Boomers are being unfairly criticized.
- Tim expresses genuine affection for elderly Boomers and says he'd rather spend time with them than any other generation.
- Tim notes that despite claims of diverse experiences, the woman proves all Boomers express emotions primarily through grievance.
- The woman uses Hillary Clinton as an example of an invisible Boomer woman, which Tim finds absurd.
- Tim jokes about how the woman described the Civil Rights Movement as coming out of the closet, mixing up civil rights terminology with modern gay language.
- Tim says he wants to die young to avoid becoming like this woman, endlessly recounting mundane stories about past experiences.
- Her parents divorced when she was three and put her in a Roman Catholic Convent from ages 3 to 13, barely visiting her.
- Tim summarizes that the woman's actual defense of Boomers boils down to saying her mother's parents treated her worse by putting her in a convent.
BoomersHillary ClintonRosa ParksBoomer bashingCivil Rights MovementVietnam WarDwight Eisenhower
- 1 min
A sponsor read for Aura digital picture frames as a Mother's Day gift, with a discount code and free shipping offer.
3moments
- Tim argues someone had to destroy the world, and they did it in an adorable way.
- Aura digital picture frames are genuinely emotional gifts that make mothers cry.
- Tim has given this gift himself and watched people's faces light up with joy.
- 10 min
Ellen DeGeneres, the CIA, and Her Fall From Grace
#Tim goes deep on Ellen DeGeneres's downfall, her alleged CIA ties, the infamous whiteboard interview with the Mandalay Bay security guard Jesus Campos about the Stephen Paddock shooting, and speculates she'd currently be dancing on TV in support of Israeli military action in Rafah; he also brings up her ex-partner Anne Heche's fatal car crash.
10moments
- Ellen DeGeneres faced a workplace toxicity scandal before being forced off TV.
- Tim describes Ellen as someone who enjoys torturing people, comparing her to historical tyrants.
- Ellen joked about being kicked out of show business for being mean when her talk show ended.
- Tim argues Ellen overstayed her welcome; people grew tired of her inevitable presence on television.
- She wasn't killing anyone—she was just mean, and that's okay.
- Ellen is in the CIA and friends with the Bush family, recruited like many entertainers.
- After the Stephen Paddock shooting, Jesus Campos appeared on Ellen's show with a whiteboard diagram instead of speaking to actual journalists.
- Tim questions why a security guard would do his only major interview about mass shooting details on a daytime talk show.
- If Ellen were still on air, she'd be dancing with Netanyahu and promoting military action in Rafah.
- Ellen's ex-partner ended up driving drunk into a house in the Venice area.
Ellen DeGeneresBenjamin NetanyahuStephen PaddockHillary ClintonCIA
- 3 min
Meghan Markle's Jam and a Commemorative Princess Diana Jam Pitch
#Tim mocks the release of Meghan Markle's jam brand, pitching a fictional Princess Diana blackberry jam as a petty royal-family jab.
6moments
- Ellen DeGeneres as the Illuminati's daytime TV buddy who would explain what was really going on with a whiteboard and pointer.
- Tim wishes Ellen was back now because the country needs someone like her, imagines a red phone in the green room for urgent government calls.
- Ellen's hypothetical PSA would mix dancing and fortnite choreography with claims that chemicals used on children are non-toxic.
- Meghan Markle's jam release shows how civilization ends—through dueling jams instead of actual conflict.
- Buckingham Palace should release a commemorative Princess Diana blackberry jam with her face holding an African infant, saying 'nothing is blacker.'
- Tim pitches the Princess Diana blackberry jam product as a counter-move in the royal jam war.
Ellen DeGeneresWe wish them wellMeghan MarklePrincess Diana
- 6 min
Reacting to an article on declining nightlife, Tim argues America now only tells young people to get drunk and gamble, contrasting early-2000s Hangover-era partying with today's economic anxiety, and ties it into casino-like modern architecture and design.
10moments
- Tim reads article about the long slow death of urban nightlife in cities across the world.
- Young intoxicated people going out are vulnerable to violence; drownings after nights out have happened multiple times.
- People are spending more time at home on computers instead of going to clubs, feeling more connected digitally than in person.
- American city downtowns feel less busy than they did before COVID; clubs, music venues, and bars are closing because people aren't showing up.
- In the early 2000s, the best life imaginable was partying and getting wrecked, celebrated in movies like The Hangover.
- That idea is being challenged now; young people are questioning whether they want to spend their 20s in a haze with no money and nothing to show for it.
- Marketing like "Saturdays are for the boys" hits hard from childhood, but it's worthless if you don't have a house or apartment.
- There's a big push for alcoholism in America as things get worse; Real Housewives shows constantly encourage women to drink and get wrecked.
- All we tell young guys in this country to do is gamble and get drunk—that's the only message they're receiving.
- Life is being sold as a party and a casino where you can win; the ethos of modern America is get wrecked, watch the fight, and bet on everything.
gamblingThe HangoveralcoholismReal Housewivesurban nightlife
- 2 min
A sponsor read for the PrizePicks fantasy sports app with player picks for the NBA playoffs and a deposit-match promo code.
4moments
- Prize Picks let you turn a $10 deposit into a thousand dollars if you have the skills.
- Tim's playoff basketball selections: Anthony Edwards over 29 points, Chad Holmgren over 2 blocks, Paul George over 4 threes, Jaylen Brunson over 30 points, Tyrese Haliburton over 10 assists, Kevin Durant over 28 points, James Harden over 9 assists.
- Betting on sports is what life's about—you're having fun and you're betting.
- Reasonable rational adults should be able to bet.
- 5 min
Drop Shipping Is All Anyone Wants to Do
#Tim rants that every young online 'entrepreneur' guru ultimately just teaches drop shipping, mocking the get-rich-quick mentality and comparing it to Boomers' Antiques Roadshow-era scams and casino-fantasy thinking.
9moments
- Tim argues that young people are being told life is a casino and they should maximize every moment, which is hedonistic and leaves them only scams or gambling as paths to wealth.
- When you suggest an 18-year-old learn a craft, they stare at you—all they want is to be put onto some scam.
- Drop shipping is all anyone wants to do: setting up a website for viral TikTok products made by children in the Philippines.
- Every online guru's advice reduces to the same thing—drop shipping—and nothing else matters to them.
- Tim explains what drop shipping actually is: selling goods on your website that you don't keep in stock, sourced elsewhere.
- Young people want to buy things on Alibaba, sell them on a website, and then gamble away the profits—turning everything into a casino.
- Instagram entrepreneurs claim to have built empires, dropped out of university, have 17 businesses—but when you dig in, it's all just drop shipping.
- Drop shipping can't work if everyone does it; the products are garbage, like a Corona beer can that's also a water gun.
- It all comes back to the idea that learning a craft and being good at something is a waste of time for young people.
drop shippingSteve WynnAlibabaTikTok
- 3 min
A sponsor read for the Ibotta cash-back shopping app with a referral code offer.
5moments
- Mastering a craft is a waste of time when everyone's telling you to gamble and get rich quick instead.
- Boomers had their own gambling schemes—no-money-down real estate scams and late-night infomercials instead of actual instruction.
- Antiques Road Show was the Boomer casino—the fantasy that something inherited might be secretly valuable.
- Modern reality has turned into one continuous game and casino, and every new building feels designed to make you spend like you're on vacation.
- Cities are architected with tropical plants and waterfalls so you feel like a vacation dad all the time and throw your money around.
IbottaAntiques Road ShowNew York City
- 6 min
Tim discusses a news story where an 81-year-old man, victim of a phone scam claiming his family was in danger, shot and killed an Uber driver who arrived to pick up a package, and admits he's sympathetic to phone scams targeting the elderly despite the tragic outcome.
6moments
- Tim opens on an epidemic of elderly people being scammed over the phone that has turned deadly, with an 81-year-old man fatally shooting an unarmed Uber driver he believed was part of the scam.
- Tim says he's pro-scam when it comes to calling old people—they're sitting at home with money they're not using, so he understands the national spirit of extracting it from them.
- The real tragedy: an Uber driver delivering a package arrives at the wrong moment and gets shot because a scammer convinced an elderly man his family was in danger.
- Tim criticizes Uber's package pickup service as a growing danger, saying deeply paranoid and schizophrenic people across the country are heavily armed and will kill delivery workers.
- Delivery drivers should take the next six months off and stop working—as the election approaches and people get crazier, showing up at strangers' doors is becoming genuinely life-threatening.
- Tim paints a darkly comic scenario where elderly people forget they ordered something, mistake the delivery person for an intruder, and create standoffs that end with someone dead holding a Five Guys bag.
- 3 min
Delivery Drivers as Target Practice for Paranoid Gun Owners
#Extending the scam-shooting story, Tim jokes that delivery drivers should take time off before the election because paranoid, armed, schizophrenic homeowners are going to keep mistaking them for threats, envisioning absurd standoffs over food delivery.
5moments
- Grandparents with loaded guns shoot delivery drivers they think are targeting their junkie grandchildren at midnight.
- Tim notes there's no more American way to die than being shot while delivering food to a junkie at 1 AM.
- Delivery drivers should consider taking time off during summer heat when paranoid gun owners are primed and ready to kill.
- The armed homeowner sits all day waiting to be activated, mobilized, ready to shoot somebody.
- Ellen would have both the driver and the shooter on her show doing the Bee Gees' 'Stayin' Alive' as a feel-good segment.
- 2 min
Tim runs through upcoming tour dates including the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, Denver, Atlantic City, and New York-area shows, thanks listeners, and signs off.
5moments
- Tim urges people to get out of the streets and away from that game, calling it tough and hard.
- Tour dates: Ryman Auditorium in Nashville June 29th, 2024; Austin sold out; Comedy Works in Denver; Atlantic City at Ovation Hall; SKC in New York; Portchester and Lemore California.
- Tickets available at timmandcomedy.com, with particular enthusiasm for the Ryman as one of his favorite rooms.
- Final message wishing listeners continued success and health, with special caution for delivery drivers who listen to the show.
- Plays audio of boomers defending themselves against accusations of squandering the nation's resources and destroying its character.
Ryman AuditoriumComedy WorksOvation HallBoomers