Episode 307 · The Ben Avery Era
Andrew Schulz | The Tim Dillon Show #307
with Andrew Schulz
Jul 17, 2022 · 1:25:13 · 1,000,000 views · 31 segments, 203 moments indexed
Tim Dillon has on Andrew Schulz to discuss One China, taking risks, Andrew running for president, why Tim should stop worrying about an economic collapse, if Ben Shapiro made Game of Thrones, Trump dunking on Elon, why you shouldn't place…
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- 2 min
Andrew Schulz explains buying his special back from 4chan/Netflix independently, and he and Tim riff on foreclosure and bankruptcy as a liberating, almost spiritual white-guy experience.
6moments
- Andrew Schultz sold a special to 4chan
- 4chan rejected the special as too extreme for their platform
- Tim praises Schultz for buying the special back and releasing it independently
- Schultz has foreclosed on properties enough times to understand the game better now
- Tim explains foreclosure in New York is non-recourse, so creditors can only take the house
- Going broke and declaring bankruptcy is actually liberating and fun
- 2 min
Tim compares the entire economy and Andrew's confidence to "playing pretend" like kids do, joking that a guy who talks loudly and passionately about interest rates without knowing anything would have a hit podcast (a dig at Joe Rogan).
8moments
- Tim prefers working on stand-up and podcasts because he can control and improve them, unlike Bitcoin or other assets.
- The entire economy is playing pretend, like kids making up games as Power Rangers—people just get better at it as adults.
- Tim describes a breakfast scenario where someone eats shakshuka while confidently declaring things like 'the interest rates' with no plan afterward.
- People listening have no idea if you actually know what you're talking about; being loud and passionate is enough to convince them.
- There should be a podcast where someone pretends to know a little bit about a lot of things while being healthy and smoking weed.
- Tim is describing his own podcast, not Joe Rogan's, when he praises the concept of confidently rolling with what you don't know.
- The brilliance of the show is knowing enough while being willing to improvise through the parts you don't.
- Tim mentions a special and implies someone was going to mess with him about it.
- 3 min
Andrew details how Netflix got scared off by a trans joke tied to the Chappelle controversy and wanted notes cut, contrasting his refusal to water down the special after building his own audience outside the traditional network notes process.
8moments
- Netflix and the network got terrified by the trans material, not other jokes
- Tim refused to water down the special after building it independently on YouTube and Instagram
- Stand-up is his identity and career; for Netflix it's just a transaction to protect the brand
- Netflix actually asked him to re-cut the special where he says the N-word because they're desperate for attention
- Tim likes to workshop bits in real life, like screaming at a parking enforcement officer
- Confidence in your fan base and doing your own thing has always been his approach
- People sacrifice freedom for security at jobs like SNL, trading independence for a cozy institutional paycheck
- You can't tell if people love you or just love your brand until something changes, like a trade
- 4 min
They discuss how LA appraises people's dollar value instantly while New York values art and coolness, and how people who dismissed Andrew before he was successful later became friendly, tying into loyalty, security versus freedom, and letting people convert.
10moments
- Mike Lawrence's observation: Los Angeles appraises your worth immediately in dollars and cents, while New York values talent and artistic merit.
- Tim describes the shift when he became successful in LA—everything changed, but it made him resentful knowing people's values had simply been financial all along.
- Accepting that LA operates on a singular focus of making it; the game was decided for those people, not something they chose.
- People were dismissive when Tim had nothing, then friendly when he had success—that's just how the town works.
- You don't have to help build someone who ignored your messages when you were struggling, if they don't share your code.
- People who treat others poorly fear that one day it'll turn on them—and in the entertainment industry, it sometimes does.
- Tim attributes his resilience partly to not being as emotional as others; people who get hurt by dismissal are often already insecure.
- His approach during rejection: assume the person is busy or has their own life, don't take it personally—make it about yourself, not them.
- It's hard not to personalize rejection, but you have to catch yourself and move on.
- You have to let people who hate on you come around eventually, because they're just trying to survive like everyone else.
- 3 min
Tim reads the Helix Sleep ad, including a bit about breaking down crying in a mattress showroom and joking about his wife's other sleeping partners liking the mattress too.
3moments
- Tim went to a mattress store once and found the experience so depressing he started crying on one of the beds.
- He couldn't understand why he was there instead of at home eating in his shower.
- Tim jokes that his wife sleeps well on the Helix mattress, and so do many of the other men she sleeps with.
- 3 min
Tim asks Andrew if comedian Michelle Wolf has converted to Islam over her boyfriend, riffing on head coverings, quiet women, and voice as a choice, before drifting into an Italy trip tease.
5moments
- Tim asks if Michelle Wolf has converted to Islam, citing long dresses and head coverings as evidence.
- Tim expresses approval of her potential conversion, praising Islam and noting he loves quiet women.
- Michelle Wolf's voice is a choice—Tim compares it to adopting a Spanish accent while living in Spain to care about the people around him.
- Tim says they've spent 30 minutes on Michelle Wolf when there are more pressing matters.
- Tim jokes that it's random a girl with Michelle Wolf's voice dated someone named Moshe, then suggests he's the reason for her conversion.
- 5 min
Andrew sells Tim on visiting Italy (Capri vs Amalfi), leading into a riff on old money confidence versus new money showiness, ugly rich people, and hot state-school kids.
10moments
- Italy has everything figured out—the food, the beauty, the people who appreciate culture
- WASP culture at places like the Polo Bar works because it's comfortable and everyone knows they're wearing costumes
- Capri is too commercialized, too much like Miami and LA—all about showing off what you can buy
- Amalfi represents old money: enjoying life without caring if anyone notices, which is real confidence
- Old money is cooler than new money because there's mystery to someone driving a beat-up car to a massive estate
- Actually rich people are ugly and inbred, while hot people go to state schools like UCSB
- Nick Mullen's description of the rich aesthetic: inbred, syphilitic boy king, malnourished and weirdly put together
- Real billionaires who actually get it eventually go to Montana to look at mountains, which breeds humility
- Italy figured out what America hasn't because it's an older society that dealt with its problems centuries ago
- Everyone becomes a bigot if they live long enough, and Italy had boy fucking apprentices like every ancient empire
Nick MullenItalyAmalfiCapriold moneyWASP cultureCatholicism
- 2 min
A long bit about ancient Rome/Greece's normalized pederasty and how the Catholic Church came in to "cut it out," only for the Church itself to later become synonymous with the same abuse, framed as an election-choice bit.
6moments
- The Catholic Church decided to shut down boy abuse and animal abuse that was happening in Pompeii brothels
- Tim wonders if historian priests claim credit for preventing mass boy abuse by instituting Catholic control over it
- The comparison: it's like deciding between widespread abuse and controlled abuse—'wouldn't you rather a little than a lot?'
- An election analogy where voters choose between candidate A (100,000 children abused) and candidate B (65,000 children abused)
- The absurd voter calculus: one candidate abuses fewer children but raises the gas tax—which one do you pick?
- What's run society: Catholicism, boy abuse, and the weird historical fact that pedophilia got normalized
- 1 min
Andrew clarifies he was gay in his late teens/early 20s and came out at 25, leading to a tangent about power dynamics in abuse versus enjoyment.
5moments
- Tim's guest came out as gay at 25 after acting on it in his late teens and early twenties.
- The desire for underage boys stems from older people wanting to have sex with boys, not from boys wanting older men.
- Power dynamic is likely part of what attracts older men to younger boys rather than actual enjoyment from the boy's perspective.
- Once people have experienced everything else—orgies, sex work, et cetera—they move on to pursuing younger people as the next frontier.
- Humanity has never adequately replaced religion as a limiting force on destructive behavior.
- 2 min
Andrew argues technology/social currency has replaced religion as the operating belief system of society but offers nothing about the soul, leading to speculation about humanity uploading consciousness or sliding back into a new dark age.
5moments
- Technology has become our new religion, fulfilling the same role that traditional faith used to.
- You can't get a job, bank account, or participate in society without buying into the technological system.
- The technology religion offers nothing about the soul, the afterlife, or how to treat other people—just practical self-interest.
- Tim questions whether humanity can remain human or if we should accept the inevitability of uploading consciousness and abandoning the body.
- Civilization may be on the verge of collapse into another dark ages, a pattern that has probably occurred multiple times throughout human history.
- 2 min
Tim reads the ExpressVPN ad about big tech deciding what's misinformation and protecting your data by hiding your IP address.
4moments
- Big tech decides what's true and what's misinformation, slapping warning labels on critical posts about politics.
- Tim pitches ExpressVPN as a way for regular people to fight back against corporate data harvesting without needing $44 billion.
- ExpressVPN hides your IP address so companies can't match your online activity back to you and exploit your data for profit.
- If you disagree with big tech censorship, visit expressvpn.com/timdillon for three months free.
- 3 min
Tim promotes AG-1, describing his morning routine, the taste, sending it to his mom for inflammation, and the company's carbon credit and meal donation programs.
5moments
- Tim on energy drinks and coffee as unhealthy alternatives to Athletic Greens AG-1
- People want better gut health but end up sad, lackluster, and with a glazed look in their eye
- His personal routine: robust tea in the morning followed by AG-1 instead of coffee
- Tim sends the product to his mom for inflammation issues; she gives it two big thumbs up
- Athletic Greens is climate neutral and donated over 1.2 million meals to kids in need in 2020
- 4 min
Andrew explains why streamers can no longer offer real eyeballs compared to YouTube, how boomers need institutional logos while kids trust creators, and why Netflix losing algorithm credibility means comics don't need networks anymore.
8moments
- Tim explains why he's okay with people copying his ideas: it raises the standard of comedy for everyone.
- Streamers used to provide eyeballs, but Tim could reach more people posting on Instagram and YouTube than from a Netflix special.
- Kids don't care about logos like boomers do; they came up on YouTube and TikTok and are skeptical of institutions.
- Vice's early documentaries were raw and unfiltered, showing real chaos that cut through everything.
- YouTube did for creatives what Vice did with its documentaries—it showed authentic content that made traditional morning-show radio seem fraudulent.
- Netflix used to be able to make you a star, but now people have lost confidence in their algorithm because it suggests garbage.
- Without Netflix's ability to deliver audiences, comedians might as well build their own platforms and avoid network censorship.
- Networks won't be able to force joke cuts anymore because they know talent can make money elsewhere.
- 4 min
Andrew argues studios cancel hits like Roseanne and greenlight flops like Fire Island because the industry is driven by ideology, not just money, leaving a conservative-leaning audience underserved except by outlets like the Daily Wire.
10moments
- Most comics don't know their worth; they only know their worth for woke points.
- Netflix lost 80% of its stock price and had to fire hundreds or thousands of people as streamers cut back content.
- America dominated entertainment worldwide for decades with zero competition, but has now fallen off hard.
- When was the last good comedy you saw in a movie theater that made you want to bring all your friends?
- Comedy movies don't work abroad partly because jokes have to be mean and someone has to be the butt of the joke.
- The Daily Wire has made hundreds of millions in subscriptions, proving there's hunger for content that isn't woke.
- ABC cancelled Roseanne after her biggest opening in recent memory, showing it's ideological, not just about money.
- Fire Island is about gay guys who go to the island to do molly and can't have fun because everyone's racist and classist.
- People are tired of movies that exist to teach you a lesson about society's problems.
- Your 40 is phenomenal and brilliant—very gay, thoughtful, and successful.
- 3 min
They discuss what makes a streamer succeed (background "laundry TV" plus must-watch scripted shows like The Office/Friends), Ben Shapiro's Daily Wire success, and why writers rooms with real ideological collision (like Chappelle's) made better sketches.
7moments
- Netflix doesn't understand what makes a streamer successful — you need laundry TV, background noise, plus one scripted show people can't wait to watch.
- Tim's wife falls asleep to Harry Potter every night; the Office and Friends are the core shows Netflix shouldn't have removed.
- Why expect institutions to create good content when they're bad at it — but you also can't hand entertainment to political ideologues like Ben Shapiro.
- A show became funny when writers like Kurt Metzger, Jesse Klein fought in the room and collision of ideas happened naturally.
- There's now a litmus test for who can work as writers in the industry, which means they haven't failed enough yet to learn.
- TV specials are offering significantly less money than they used to — eventually companies won't even be able to offer that.
- YouTube is inevitable and will take out TikTok — YouTube Shorts will beat TikTok.
NetflixYouTubeDaily WireBen ShapiroKurt MetzgerTikTokDisneyHBO
- 2 min
Andrew predicts YouTube Shorts will eventually knock out TikTok because Google/YouTube understands hardware and data better, citing his past correct predictions about Austin and Clubhouse.
7moments
- Tim claims he was right about Netflix, and eventually about Austin too.
- YouTube will eventually kill TikTok; Instagram's days are numbered.
- Tech nerds don't know how to make cool hardware, but they're excellent at making phones and software work.
- YouTube Shorts will knock TikTok out of the market.
- Every famous person now is on YouTube; even TikTokers have to be on it.
- YouTube is the new TV, the new radio—it's everything for how we consume content.
- YouTube's algorithm knows you better than you know yourself, and you have to trust it.
- 1 min
They discuss the challenge of giving stand-up away free on YouTube while specials cost hundreds of thousands to produce, and the need to find new ways to monetize and deliver content directly to fans.
2moments
- Tim discusses the challenge of monetizing stand-up comedy when comedians are giving everything away for free on YouTube.
- Tim suggests there will be ways to monetize and deliver comedy directly to audiences without relying on traditional free platforms.
- 3 min
Tim pitches a genuinely dark bit about doing a stand-up special in Oregon where audience members who want assisted suicide are executed live after the show, tying into society allegedly collapsing.
6moments
- Tim pitches doing a comedy special in Oregon where audience members who want to die would be euthanized after the show ends.
- He argues it would be compassionate to let someone choose an easy way out rather than suffer with the rest of society.
- Tim suggests removing suicidal people from the roads would clear up traffic and ambulances for the rest of us.
- Society is going to collapse in a very interesting way, according to Tim.
- Tim claims everyone he knows has three houses and questions why anyone would be homeless when that's the standard.
- When asked if homelessness and tent cities suggest societal problems, Tim's guest points out the contradiction of owning three houses while dismissing those concerns.
- 4 min
Andrew pushes Tim on owning three houses while dismissing homeless encampments as not a real issue, and Tim argues taxes should handle it while insisting he doesn't personally need to feel guilty.
8moments
- Tim rejects the premise that having houses obligates him to solve homelessness
- Homeless tents are a real issue, but Tim won't take the "sociopath way" of denying it exists
- The government functions like a mafia that doesn't actually take care of people
- Tim defends his position by comparing it to Elon Musk's approach of checking out
- The real motivation isn't guilt—it's that homelessness is visually unpleasant and smells bad
- Tim argues that since decay and collapse are inevitable, he should enjoy his remaining time instead
- Anyone worried about tents while having three houses and multiple businesses isn't actually that troubled by family problems
- Tim dismisses the false choice that he personally must do something about society rather than corrupt governments
- 1 min
Andrew tells a long fabricated story about growing up in a gang in East St. Louis and murdering a woman, framed as a comic parallel to Tim's detachment from the tent/homelessness issue.
4moments
- Tim explains why comedians need to be selfish to do their jobs well, despite having empathy.
- Visiting East St. Louis overwhelms him because he sees people who made it out from impossible circumstances.
- Shane reveals he grew up in East St. Louis and was part of a gang there.
- Shane claims he was the only openly gay guy in his East St. Louis gang and nobody cared.
- 4 min
Tim delivers a mock-sincere riff/ad for Steve Will Do It, framing him as an inspirational example for the neurodivergent community who achieved wealth and Lambos despite never reading a book.
9moments
- Tim questions what makes people feel better about acknowledging problems and doing nothing about them.
- Acknowledging homelessness and urban decay is inconvenient because you own property there and don't want the tents visible.
- Steve Will Do It is an autistic multimillionaire who accomplishes what many neurodivergent people aspire to.
- Whether Steve has read books, graduated school, or knows any presidents doesn't matter—he has watches and lambos.
- Tim's pitch to the neurodivergent community: support Steve Will Do It if you want to work for crypto gambling websites and live on a speedboat between Miami and the Bahamas.
- Using kids with cancer as a shield while making deals with tribal warlords is part of Steve's character, according to Tim.
- Steve has done a lot for the neurodivergent community and is a brilliant, interesting man.
- Photos show Steve happy and champagne-popping in a sombrero—this is the future for neurodivergent people who play their cards right.
- Steve Will Do It is the best thing that Florida swamp ever produced.
- 4 min
Watching Steve Will Do It's Home Depot Video
#Tim and Andrew watch and narrate a Steve Will Do It YouTube video of him handing out money to Mexican day laborers at Home Depot, riffing on demonetization and comparing it to AOC's supposed advocacy.
9moments
- Tim defends Lyft driving as a good job that requires minimal effort.
- He accidentally promotes a website he's unsure even exists, then corrects himself on air.
- Steve Will Do It's new video shows him picking up Mexican families at Home Depot to take them to work.
- The music in Steve's videos gets him demonetized, which is why he doesn't make money from them.
- Steve approaches strangers at Home Depot asking if they're Mexican and offering them cash.
- Home Depot security tells Steve to leave the store for his solicitation.
- Miami police show up and Steve gives money to the officers, including one named Young.
- Tim points out AOC isn't in the video despite claiming to care about helping poor people.
- Tim tells viewers to check out Steve Will Do It on YouTube and thanks them.
- 2 min
Tim mocks performative online outrage culture, doing a bit about "noticing" a guy taking a public dump as a stand-in for empty social commentary.
5moments
- The economy is all fake, not real, while everything else to you is real
- You can notice things without having to get bent out of shape about them
- If a guy is taking a shit in front of your car, you just notice it and wonder what it means about where we are
- Tim argues noticing things is academic, and proposes they notice the Uyghurs
- Would you even be able to identify a Uyghur if you saw one, like at Whataburger
- 5 min
A bit about pledging allegiance to China and denying Taiwan's existence morphs into discussing Elon Musk getting humbled by the system and reading Trump's brutal roast joke about Musk's subsidized companies.
10moments
- Tim endorses China's governance model and declares belief in 'one China' while dismissing Taiwan.
- Pitches himself as first podcast host on China's streaming service, with first episode commentary on Hong Kong.
- China figured out how to run a country like a corporation, unlike America's four-year election cycles.
- Elon thought he was bigger than the system until they reminded him by exposing his father's history.
- Trump's roast of Elon on Truth Social was sharp enough that Tim wishes he'd heard it said aloud.
- Reads Trump's full takedown: Elon came begging for subsidy help, would've dropped to his knees if asked.
- Most Americans have no idea who DeSantis is, which represents a real opportunity against Trump.
- If Trump wins, the fake democracy disappears but people will just be more agitated and upset regardless.
- Worries that Trump could install loyalists who refuse to certify elections unless he wins, creating dictatorship.
- Calls presidency an abject loser's job, then admits he'd probably do it if given a real shot.
Elon MuskTaiwanDonald TrumpRon DeSantisChinaJoe RoganHong KongMichelle Wolf
- 2 min
They debate whether Trump would respect election results if he loses, then pivot to whether social media stars like Logan Paul or Jake Paul could leverage their databases to win political office.
6moments
- Tim argues that to be a successful politician, you have to be an absolute loser.
- By his 30s, Logan will have a database of people and the ability to reach voters the way Trump does.
- Tim says he would quit comedy to help Jake or Logan Paul run for office.
- Understanding what works in politics is more important than knowing how the electoral college functions.
- Tim and his guest could take a candidate far if they were smart enough about it.
- Tim's political platform would position his candidate against the other's tent policy, creating a clear contrast.
- 1 min
Andrew talks about his wife's aversion to internet fame despite being a foodie developing a food recommendation/e-commerce platform, and jokes that a spotlight-seeking wife would need to convert to Islam.
3moments
- Tim asks Andrew about his wife's thoughts on the business and her involvement in it.
- Andrew's wife is developing a food platform called red peppers—a one-stop shop with recipes, recommendations, and e-commerce capabilities.
- Andrew notes his wife just got her MBA from NYU and is sharp on business, but refuses to be photographed or deal with internet scrutiny.
- 4 min
They fantasize about splitting time between Miami (channeling Saucy Santana style) and New York summers, debating why Miami's happiness makes it hard to write jokes there compared to New York's angst.
7moments
- Tim jokes that if you were married to someone who wanted to spotlight you, you'd have to get them to convert to Islam immediately.
- Plan to open Kill Tony in Kabul with Andrew Schulz and call it the Couple Comedy Connection.
- If Tim moved to Miami, he'd have to start dressing like Sukiana and Hit Image, or like Saucy Santana.
- Tim couldn't write jokes in Miami the entire time because there's too much joy and fun, with no angst or ridiculous people to push back on.
- People who criticize Florida don't realize everyone there is happy, which makes it bad for comedy writing compared to New York.
- Tim moved everybody back to New York because he couldn't write jokes in Miami despite loving it too much.
- New York in summer is amazing because wealthy people leave the city and the cool, young people with less money are still around.
MiamiNew YorkAndrew SchulzKill TonySaucy SantanaPortlandIslamKabul+1 more
- 5 min
Tim tells a story about laughing uncontrollably at a friend's boss making a billion dollars in a single year, launching into admiration for old, eccentric, insulated wealthy families and their secret feuds.
8moments
- Tim discusses old white money and Nantucket as appealing to a certain sensibility.
- Old European wealth operates at a different level than old American money.
- Tim laughs at a billionaire who earned his first billion dollars just last year while eating ice cream in Montauk.
- Wealthy old families shaped by nepotism, feuds, secrets, and infighting exert considerable influence over the world.
- The Knicks' board has five Dolans on it while the team hasn't won since the 1970s, suggesting nepotism destroys competence.
- The mafia exists because nepotism creates idiots, requiring violence instead of legitimate business practices.
- Tim expresses actual admiration for families that manage to hold wealth and power together across centuries.
- The Kennedys are now broke—most of them own only a name, not an actual institution.
New York KnicksJames DolannepotismDave PortnoyKennedy familyMedici family
- 3 min
They argue nepotism (like the Dolan family running the Knicks into decades of losing) starves institutions of talent, and that the mafia's reliance on family over merit is why it needs violence instead of legitimate business.
8moments
- Joe Kennedy orchestrated his son's political career, crafting JFK's entire story and narrative as a family project.
- Wealthy families use institutional backing in media and academia to push narratives that become accepted as truth through repetition.
- Tim prefers confronting the real, disturbing reality of situations over sanitized narratives because that's where he can find material to mock.
- The actual Bush family story: Connecticut preppy bankers descended from a preacher who befriended wealthy people and did their bidding.
- George H.W. Bush became an ambassador and CIA agent, part of a wealthy family's rise through service to powerful interests.
- The Bush family was presented as Texas free-spirited outsiders despite being Connecticut boring establishment types eating lobster salad in Kennebunk.
- Building and maintaining a false public image on a massive scale works because people know the truth but don't care once the fiction is laid thick enough.
- This phenomenon of collective false belief becoming accepted reality is called the Mandela Effect.
Bush familyGeorge H. W. BushJohn F. KennedyKennedy familyPrescott BushJoe KennedyConnecticutKennebunk
- 2 min
Tim lays out the real lineage of the Bush family from Connecticut preacher-to-banker roots and how they successfully rebranded themselves as Texan gunslingers, tying into the Kennedy family's manufactured JFK narrative and the Mandela Effect.
6moments
- Whatever we say ends up becoming the reality, so we might as well choose the best version.
- Tim observes he doesn't see the tent people crying, though he's heard wailing that might be happy.
- Announcing the special will be available for a two-week window on his website with a link sent to buyers.
- Tim wants a live watch party at 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time so everyone watches it together like a fight.
- He compares it to how movies work—a specific time where the special exists online or in theaters and people discuss it simultaneously.
- If the special is raw, pure, authentic, and funny, people will buy it because it'll be funnier than other things they're seeing.
andrews.com
- 2 min
Andrew directs listeners to buy the special on his website with a live watch party plan, they hand out Greek yogurt to the homeless as a bit, and close with jokes about normal friends outside the business.
5moments
- Tim and his guest are taking Greek yogurt with strawberries to give to homeless people
- Tim tells viewers to pre-order and watch the special live
- Guest mentions friends sending him Tim's content, confuses Tim about whether people actually do that
- Tim jokes that his friends are real people with kids and jobs, then suggests making more money to get rid of them
- Tim's friend brought his wife over wearing moccasins like an animal