Episode 280 · The Ben Avery Era
#280 - Nervous Neurotic Animal | The Tim Dillon Show
Dec 15, 2021 · 1:16:47 · 379,000 views · 27 segments, 152 moments indexed
Tim Dillon (Miami native) was disgusted by the TwentySomethings Netflix show, talks about potentially working for the Minecraft zoomers (shoutout to Dream and Ranboo), why they couldn't keep doing the Undercover Boss show with actual…
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- 1 min
Fake Studio Fire Cold Open
#Tim opens with a fabricated story that Antifa burned down the new studio and beat him, before admitting it's a lie and explaining the real reason for an audio-only episode is being deep into a grueling tour.
2moments
- Tim claims antifa burned down the new studio, threw Molotov cocktails through the window, and beat him badly.
- Ben allegedly let the attackers in but wasn't harmed, which Tim compares to his claims about not knowing the Capitol rioters were dangerous.
- 1 min
Tour Recap and Studio Rebuild Timeline
#Tim discusses wrapping up the current tour, plans to do one theater tour a year plus club dates, and gives an update on the new studio being built.
3moments
- Tim admits the opening claim was a lie — the audio-only format exists because the tour just wrapped at Bloodsport.
- Five planes in four days to finish the tour, with one more theater tour planned for next fall through early January.
- The studio rebuild should be completed by January, marking the end of the current touring cycle.
Bloodsport
- 1 min
Mr. Pizza, the Studio Builder
#A riff on the studio contractor's actual surname being Pizza, jokes about him being mistaken for a pedophile, and praise for his work on the first studio set.
2moments
- Tim introduces Mr. Pizza, the studio builder, and explains why people misunderstand the name.
- Mr. Pizza's diet consists entirely of salmon and broccoli.
Mr Pizzasupply chain
- 2 min
Tim explains the UK tour dates are uncertain due to rising Covid restrictions and Boris Johnson's warnings about pubs and restaurants potentially shutting down.
4moments
- Tim confirms the studio venture is real and planned, though people in Atlanta have accused him of lying about it.
- By next year's tour, Tim hopes to have a studio that allows more consistency and less intensity, since the current routing was crazy with every comic scrambling for venues.
- UK tour dates are in doubt—Omicron is worsening and Tim doesn't want to get stuck there if the country reaches level five.
- Tim fears they may have to push the UK dates back, citing Boris Johnson's warning that pubs, shops, and restaurants will probably be forced to shut in January.
- 1 min
Austin: The Worst City in America
#Tim declares Austin the worst city, blaming the influx of libertarian billionaires like Elon Musk who moved there expecting to build a thriving community that instead became a violent mess.
5moments
- Tim declares Austin the worst city in America, or possibly the world.
- Moving libertarian billionaires who don't care about anyone to a city didn't create a thriving community.
- Austin has billionaires with their own armies and apps while everyone else wanders the streets killing each other.
- Tim has lived in Austin for a year and is nearing the end of that experience.
- Netflix won't give Tim a special despite his ticket sales and prior work on their platform.
- 1 min
Turning Down Netflix's Half-Hour Special
#Tim explains he refused Netflix's offer of a half-hour special, insisting on an hour, and name-checks comedian friends doing the Netflix Comedy Festival that he's skipping.
1moment
- Tim turned down Netflix's half-hour special offer, insisting on an hour or nothing.
Brian SimpsonMarkNaomi Peregrine
- 1 min
Netflix's Track Record: Six or Seven Good Things
#A bit crediting Netflix for producing roughly one watchable thing every few years since its founding.
2moments
- Tim is sitting out Netflix's Comedy Festival while every other comic in America does it
- Netflix has made six or seven watchable things in the last 15 years
- 3 min
Netflix's '20-Somethings Austin' Ripoff
#Tim describes bingeing a Real World-style Netflix show about people moving to Austin to reinvent themselves as gay, models, or comedians, and finds it both nauseating and compelling.
6moments
- Tim describes Netflix's '20-Somethings Austin' as a show designed to make him physically ill while giving him more pleasure than he knew possible.
- The show is a Real World ripoff where Netflix moved four women and four men into two Airbnbs in a gentrifying area of Austin.
- One cast member moved to Austin to learn how to be gay after coming out late; another moved to do stand-up comedy that isn't funny.
- The entire show revolves around people drinking alcohol because that's the only thing to do in Austin, interspersed with failed job searches and dating.
- Tim argues the show is painfully sad because Austin itself is a lie, and the people falling for it are impossible to pity.
- Watching cast members slowly become the type of person who likes Austin—a drunken loser—is the only feeling the show generates.
- 4 min
Austin as a City for Losers Chasing Freedom
#Tim argues Austin attracts people who are 'behind' in life, chasing a fantasy of freedom and fame they couldn't achieve elsewhere, and contrasts the self-important Austin/LA transplant mentality with Elon Musk's own fame.
6moments
- Austin attracts people in their mid-to-late 20s who are novices to life, like a college town for people behind in the race.
- Tim explains what people mean by 'freedom' in Austin: they want to make horrible decisions and have them work out, when they failed everywhere else.
- You can't be about yourself if what you're selling is garbage—you have to be about another version of yourself.
- Tim critiques Joe Rogan's claim that Austin is better than LA because it's free of fame-chasing, when his neighbors are Elon Musk and Sandra Bullock.
- Austin residents are actually more self-important and fame-hungry than people in LA, despite the mythology of being simple country folk.
- Everyone in Austin wants money and notoriety like LA people do, but they're completely incapable of getting anywhere near that goal.
- 4 min
Afro-Latino Ben Character Bit and Miami vs. Austin
#A bit voicing an alternate 'afro-latino' persona who trashes Ben and Austin while praising Miami's sexier, more accepting culture, tying into looking at Miami condos.
7moments
- Tim performs as an afro-latino character raised in Santo Domingo who rejects living in white Austin with Ben, claiming Ben looks like a golfer with AIDS.
- The character insists he doesn't look stupid in Balenciaga while Ben's baggy clothes hide AIDS lesions, calling Ben a dumb white piece of shit.
- Looking at condos in Miami because that's where his culture is, dismissing Austin as a pit.
- Tim argues Taco Bell is some of the best Mexican food because food is an idea—tacos represent freedom.
- Austin is reduced to getting drunk, buying a taco, and eating it outside with no roof because there are no rules and he's fun and flirty.
- At 38, he wants a young UT guy to go down on him on a futon in a gentrifying neighborhood while gunshots sound outside, then eat brisket and repeat—but no thank you, he's back to being afro-latino.
- Miami is where people appreciate him; they don't give a fuck, asses and tits are out, and it's a sexy city while Austin is sexless.
MiamiBen AveryAustinTaco BellSanto DomingoBalenciagaLittle HaitiUT
- 3 min
Bad Austin Hookup Stories and Dating Scene
#Tim recounts unpleasant dating experiences in Austin, describing awkward, try-hard sex with emotionally damaged locals versus his idealized vision of sexy, international Miami.
8moments
- Miami is white marble floors and cocaine, Austin is sad sex
- Tim describes the caliber of men he dated: one came out as gay and was high, another was told by his father he'd burn in hell
- Sex in Austin is weird collegiate sex without heat, people trying to fuck their way into being someone they're not
- People hook up with someone who's really trying, but not in a good way—it's roadkill sacks, not animalistic
- Miami has sexy international people; Tim works on his body and has international flair
- Tim's future plan: skin-tight catsuits, eight-inch heels, stop debating, and put his ass on the street in a Balenciaga onesie
- He's leaving discussions and debates, this country's finished, might start smoking crystals because there's no point debating anymore
- Just go out and have fun, but not in Austin—go to Dallas and suck off some CFO instead
- 2 min
A straightforward sponsor read for BetterHelp online therapy, touting convenience, affordability, and counselor availability.
3moments
- Tim promotes BetterHelp as an online counseling service for mental health support, explaining it offers professional therapy done securely online with access to a broad range of expertise.
- He complains about hating the waiting room at his therapist's office, contrasting it with BetterHelp's ability to message counselors anytime and schedule sessions without the uncomfortable in-person wait.
- Tim encourages listeners to visit betterhelp.com/TimD to join over a million people who have taken charge of their mental health with professional help, noting that Tim Dillon Show listeners get 10% off their first month.
- 2 min
Tim and Ben banter about earbuds and audio engineering before pivoting into a Raycon earbuds sponsor read with a holiday discount code.
4moments
- Tim asks Ben if he's actually an audio engineer, then questions what he's engineering.
- Ben pivots to promoting Raycon earbuds for their audio quality and portability.
- Tim emphasizes the holiday timing and availability of free shipping and returns on Raycon earbuds.
- Listeners get 15% off site-wide with code 'holiday' at buyraycon.com.
- 3 min
Ivermectin Hypocrisy and Corporate Health Failures
#Tim discusses the double standard around dismissing lived experience with Ivermectin while conservatives ignore how corporations like Walmart and Kellogg's mistreat workers, arguing early Covid treatment is inaccessible to many without healthcare.
7moments
- Tim loves Raycon earbuds and references Joe Rogan having on a doctor to discuss early COVID treatment protocols.
- Hypocrisy of demonizing ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine while claiming to honor everyone's lived experiences, including gender fluidity.
- Most people can't access early COVID regimens because they lack healthcare, regular doctors, or can't afford medical costs.
- Conservatives hate Pfizer and Moderna but say nothing about Walmart paying workers in Pop-Tarts or Kellogg's firing strikers.
- Multinational conglomerates in bed with government are the most powerful entities in history, yet only Pfizer gets scrutinized.
- Tim argues people should have dignity, a standard of living, and healthcare, but this gets shut down immediately.
- Early COVID protocol would work better if people could see doctors when sick instead of showing up to work afraid of being fired.
Kellogg'sRayconModernaPfizerWalmartPeter McCulloughpharmaceutical and corporate regulationJoe Rogan
- 5 min
Corporations Poisoning America's Food Supply
#Tim argues that fatness in America is driven by unregulated corporate food additives and food deserts, contrasting US practices with European regulation and criticizing the body positivity movement as industry-funded.
10moments
- Tim argues corporations poisoning the food supply are the real problem, not individual eating habits.
- A stressed mother of three shouldn't have to read every label; Europe regulates food additives that America allows.
- Food deserts trap families in areas where only fast food and expired produce are available and expensive.
- Fat people are largely a result of systemic failure to promote health, not moral failure.
- Body positivity campaigns funded by the sugar industry put 600-pound people on magazine covers to normalize overconsumption.
- Tim points out the contradiction: people praise corporations except the two making vaccines.
- Tim doesn't ask anyone to pay for his weight; society used to but doesn't anymore.
- Fat millionaires and celebrities like Lizzo aren't responsible for other people's life problems.
- The vast majority of Americans are pill heads, junkies, fat people, or sexual degenerates—health isn't promoted anywhere.
- Beating up on fat people ignores widespread problems like alcoholism, car accidents, and prescription drug addiction.
- 4 min
Undercover Boss and Corporate Ignorance
#A deep dive into Undercover Boss episodes, including CEOs horrified by their own company's food and a creepy CEO 'mentoring' a female fry cook, illustrating corporate disconnect from their own products.
6moments
- Tim argues some people deserve to be beaten up for doing fat things consistently, but acknowledges the complexity when families live in food deserts with no real food choices.
- Eating healthy without money is genuinely difficult, especially when you're exhausted after work and just want to collapse.
- The obesity problem requires government regulation of fast food companies, since corporations will keep making poison unless forced to stop.
- Undercover Boss stopped putting CEOs in episodes because they were too horrified by the food their own companies served.
- When CEOs finally saw what food their companies actually served to people, they were visibly uncomfortable with the reality of their own business model.
- A Checkers employee with 20 years at the restaurant described how the job changed her life, which Tim found deeply sad.
- 6 min
Tim and Ben promote the Versus prediction app, running through absurd example betting questions about Hasbulla, Kyle Rittenhouse, and Spotify censoring Joe Rogan.
5moments
- Tim critiques Undercover Boss as the worst producer in the entire world, starting with an episode about Checkers
- The restaurant gets so bad the CEO has to shut it down, which became such a common ending they had to change how they filmed the show
- A CEO in the episode tries to sleep with a fry cook, then offers to mentor her by getting in his car in the parking lot
- Tim says Undercover Boss is maybe the greatest show ever made because it reveals how disgusting and amoral the country is
- The Versus app lets people predict the future and play their friends with custom questions like whether Tim will do a podcast with Kyle Rittenhouse before December 15th
- 2 min
Continuing the Versus app riff, Tim proposes increasingly absurd betting questions including the Rapture, an Austin terror attack, and Hasbulla vs. Abdu Rozik.
4moments
- Tim claims he's very good at predicting the future and the Versus app CEO asked him to post questions for users to bet on.
- Ben has posted verified predictions including whether Hasbulla will be declared an animated state of Dagestan and if Kyle Rittenhouse will upload a photo holding a gun by next week.
- Tim's new prediction: will Hasbulla and Abdu Rozik actually have their fight by New Year's, or is it a troll.
- Tim posts another question: will the City of Austin be attacked by terrorists by the new year, telling people to prove him wrong and earn money.
VersusHasbullaAbdul RozikKyle RittenhouseAustin
- 7 min
More riffing on Hasbulla's Instagram threats, Tiger Woods DUI odds, and closing out the Versus app pitch with the offer code.
11moments
- Tim warns that mass shootings with AK-47s could happen in downtown Austin and suggests betting against it on Versus app.
- Will the Island Boys overdose by Christmas—Tim declines the dark prediction and his co-host warns him against that brand.
- The Island Boys sold their soul to the devil and at least they're honest about it, unlike most people who do the same thing.
- Will Spotify censor Joe Rogan's latest episode with Dr. Peter McCullough, or will Ben get fired for posting the question first.
- Will Jesus come back from the dead by New Year's and smite his enemies—essentially, will the Rapture happen.
- Tim can't think of a single Pete Davidson or Kim Kardashian question worth asking on the app.
- Hasbulla threatened Katy Perry on Instagram after she posted pictures of his sister, and Tim expresses admiration for the gangster move.
- How the Versus app works: users guess yes or no on Tim or Ben's prediction questions to win money.
- Tim claims he's not making money on Versus yet, but Ben is, which will result in him hitting Ben with his car.
- Tim compares Versus app to remote viewing exercises described in the book Penetration, calling it mass ESP rather than just a gambling game.
- Download Versus game from the App Store using offer code Tim for five dollars toward your first bet.
Joe RoganPeter McCulloughTiger WoodsIsland BoysPete DavidsonIgnacio SwannHezbollah ShabaKaty Perry
- 2 min
Tim reacts to a Wall Street Journal article on millennials driving housing demand, tying it to post-pandemic and post-riot fears about safety in cities.
6moments
- Wall Street Journal reports millennials are now driving half of housing market transactions, a shift from their earlier disdain for ownership
- Tim wonders what changed in just a few years after millennials were in love with cities
- Things are getting worse in cities—crime, riots, visible decline—though some dismiss these concerns as Fox News boomer talk
- Mentally ill people with weapons roaming streets are becoming a reality in urban areas
- Tim argues cities need just a sprinkling of mentally ill homeless people, but too many makes even street violence routine
- People are becoming wary of urban living environments because conditions are no longer tolerable, and these problems will likely continue
crime in citiesWall Street Journalcitiessuburbs
- 6 min
Mental Illness and the Crime Conversation Taboo
#Tim argues people can no longer have honest discussions about rising urban crime, citing declining mental institutionalization rates and personal friends he believes should be institutionalized.
9moments
- People concerned about physical safety are dismissed by wealthy people without families who don't have to worry about crime.
- America can't have logical discussions about crime because topics are too emotionally charged and people care more about saying the right thing than facts.
- Crime is spiking in cities and affecting vulnerable populations—poor people, elderly, women, those on public transit—while wealthy people in suburbs stay insulated.
- Defunding police and reallocating to community reinvestment, education, and mental health are worthwhile long-term ideas, but short-term crime has been a problem.
- If the U.S. still hospitalized the mentally ill at 1955 rates, institutions would house 1.1 million people instead of the current 50,000.
- Tim knows seven or eight friends personally who should be institutionalized and unable to plan their own day.
- It's not broke open-mic comedians on Twitter discussing crime—it's people with skin in the game across the political spectrum saying things aren't good.
- You need to identify people with mental illness, get them care, off the street, off drugs, and away from weapons they can use to harm others.
- More people are losing their minds every day as the culture pushes them toward a breaking point where they commit acts of violence.
- 5 min
Tim discusses the Waukesha Christmas parade attack, noting the driver's anti-white radicalization and how media coverage differs from how it would treat a white supremacist attacker.
9moments
- American culture of horrible food, prescription drugs, self-medication, and stress creates conditions for mental breakdown.
- The hustle-and-grind mentality—tough it out, figure it out—pushes people off a cliff instead of providing intervention.
- System designed to cycle people through homelessness and poverty, exacerbating mental illness and desperation.
- Desperate people with nothing to lose eventually pick up arms and commit acts of domestic terrorism in American cities.
- Waukesha Massacre: the driver was steeped in anti-white racist ideology, not a random car malfunction as mainstream narrative suggested.
- Dehumanizing rhetoric against any group—including white people—radicalizes believers to commit horrible acts like driving through parades.
- Media coverage after 9/11 stoked anti-Muslim sentiment that led to hate crimes; similar coverage of anti-white ideology could produce comparable violence.
- Waukesha driver praised Hitler, backed Black Lives Matter, and called for violence against white people—a contradiction that makes everyone uncomfortable.
- More of these incidents will happen as mentally ill people are released on bail under new bail rules.
Waukesha Massacre
- 5 min
Tim breaks down the low bail set for the Waukesha suspect's prior domestic violence charges, joking about appropriate bail pricing while arguing that wanting safety from violent repeat offenders isn't a political statement.
8moments
- Tim on Khalif Browder: people shouldn't die in Rikers for stealing a backpack, but the Waukesha driver's case is different—he'd tried to murder his wife and run her over.
- A thousand-dollar bail for running over a woman seems financially light, even from a pure cost standpoint.
- Tim draws a distinction: punching someone in the face as a spontaneous fight gets a thousand dollars, but running them over with a car should cost at least three thousand.
- The problem is that people released on low bail do it again—this guy killed people in a Wisconsin Christmas parade five days after running over his ex-wife.
- Tim insists he's not making a political statement, just talking like a human being about bail policy.
- Poor people thrown in debtors prison over parking tickets is absurd, but someone let out immediately on a thousand-dollar bail who then commits mass murder a week later is a genuine problem.
- Not wanting people to break into your house and kill you isn't a political statement—it's basic human concern for family safety.
- Democrats will lose again because treating public safety concerns as political ideology rather than rational is crazy—preserving safety for yourself and those you care about isn't partisan.
Khalif BrowderRikers IslandWisconsin
- 3 min
Violence in Austin and the Least Interesting Generation
#Tim ties Austin's violence to its shallow culture, contrasts today's directionless generation unfavorably, and expresses more hope for younger nihilistic Zoomers.
5moments
- Tim describes Austin as a violent hellscape devoid of culture, with the only interesting people being psychopaths and billionaires.
- Chris Hedges would call Austin's violence a bacchanal.
- 20-somethings in Austin represent the least interesting and least capable generation ever raised.
- Tim expresses more faith in the Zoomers and nihilist kids, citing Minecraft content creators like Dream and Tubbo as having millions of followers and making money.
- A non-comedian stand-up guy on a date in Austin told a Berkeley-educated girl she was smarter than him, and Tim says he would have grabbed him by the throat.
Dream20 Somethings AustinTubboChris Hedges
- 3 min
Minecraft Streamers Dream, Tubbo, and Ranboo
#Tim discusses the massive wealth and fame of anonymous Minecraft YouTubers like Dream, Tubbo, and Ranboo, admiring how kids fund their fortunes.
9moments
- Tim asks the guests if they want to say anything nice about old Austin before they leave.
- Barton Springs used to be awesome before people moved in and ruined it.
- Old spots like Hut's hamburgers are gone, replaced by expensive new establishments people can't afford.
- Tim says the guests have created exactly the hell they wanted.
- A guy with a trillion dollars is telling everyone how good Austin is and how much he loves it.
- Tim suggests the billionaire with his own spaceship experiences the city differently than regular people do.
- People who move here deserve what happens to them—it's not a disease, it's a choice.
- All the new houses look like modern barns.
- Tim's dog is a nervous neurotic animal that used to live in a field.
- 2 min
Old Austin vs. New Austin, and Leaving for Tubbo
#Tim and Ben reminisce about what Austin used to be like before gentrification, riff on Elon Musk's rosy view of the city, and joke about Ben quitting to work for a Minecraft streamer.
7moments
- Tim describes his guest as a nervous neurotic animal who was better off in L.A. before being brought to Austin.
- Tim announces this is one of their last episodes before the studio goes dark until January.
- No new episodes will air until January when the show returns with a brand new studio.
- Tim jokes about going to work for Tubbo, the Minecraft streamer, if the guest left the podcast.
- Tubbo described as a British psychopath wearing a mask who apparently has issues with his own face.
- Tim imagines the guest telling him he's leaving to work for Rambo, the child Minecraft streamer.
- Tim's reaction: you win some you lose some, accepting the hypothetical departure without argument.
- 1 min
Tim runs through remaining tour dates including Sacramento, San Francisco, and a Toronto New Year's Eve show, then signs off.
3moments
- Tim announces remaining tour dates: Sacramento, San Francisco, and Garden City Idaho, noting the Late Show in Idaho didn't sell out.
- Tim questions who knew he didn't have 20,000 fans in Boise, Idaho, identifying his actual big markets as New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Tampa, Dallas, Miami, San Francisco, and Toronto.
- New Year's Eve show in Toronto will feature Tim doing a full hour set followed by Michaela Peters performing.
Michaela PetersTorontoSacramento Late ShowBoise, IdahoGarden City, IdahoNew YorkSan Francisco