Episode 264 · The Ben Avery Era
#264 - Time Is A Fat Circle | The Tim Dillon Show
Aug 15, 2021 · 56:15 · 471,000 views · 22 segments, 131 moments indexed
Joining us for the hour is the incredibly funny Raymond Kump from the podcast "Kump", to discuss pulling out of Kabul, what comes after the apocalypse, and why they want the government to put a chip in them.
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- 1 min
Tim welcomes podcaster Ray Kump, who is recovering from COVID. They riff on how people panic-text vaccinated friends who get COVID, undermining the supposed point of vaccination.
3moments
- Ray Kump is back on the show, recovering from COVID.
- Ray finally caught COVID-19.
- Tim notes that nobody trusts the vaccine—when Ray tells people he has COVID, they panic despite him being vaccinated, even though vaccination is supposed to protect him.
- 3 min
Tim argues Americans are addicted to death drama and act like COVID is the only killer in a country full of shootings, opioids, and violence, joking about "which variant" causes shootings.
6moments
- Tim questions why people are still texting him death warnings after he got vaccinated, thinking that was the whole point.
- Americans are addicted to death drama and have become dependent on daily death stories to give their lives meaning.
- COVID has become cultural scaffolding for a death obsession, even as America faces mass shootings, homicides, opioid crises, and untreated mental illness.
- Tim mocks cops asking about COVID variants while shooting innocent people, illustrating the absurdity of the panic amid actual American violence.
- He got a monoclonal antibody infusion like Trump received and is now trying to lose weight to prepare for the next variant.
- Tim jokes that the next variant will hurt vaccinated people specifically, making the vaccine counterproductive.
COVID-19death culturemonoclonal antibody infusion
- 4 min
Ray describes getting a regeneron antibody infusion and then being repeatedly pushed by his doctor toward ivermectin and a sketchy website (flccc alliance) featuring Brett Weinstein interviews.
9moments
- Tim got a monoclonal antibody infusion from Regeneron and felt better within 24 hours.
- Hard to mass produce when based out of Argentina using old Nazi science.
- Texas doctor asked if Tim got vaccinated, then immediately pivoted to offering ivermectin.
- Doctor told Tim to watch a website about ivermectin instead of explaining what it is or recommending it directly.
- The website the doctor sent Tim to featured Brett Weinstein, who is not actually a doctor, discussing ivermectin.
- The site is called the FLCCC Alliance—Frontline COVID-19 Critical Care Alliance—with interviews about ivermectin's purported benefits.
- Tim compares the ivermectin push to the mortgage crisis in structure and marketing.
- Tim notes he's never been told by a doctor before to go to a website instead of receiving direct medical advice.
- It's like the doctor is selling Tim a speedball—pushing an unvetted compound while protecting himself legally.
RegeneronDonald TrumpFLCCC AllianceBrett WeinsteinPierre Kory
- 4 min
Ray's doctor keeps derailing check-ins into unrelated conspiracy talk about Jesus being based on Horus, fiat currency, and bitcoin maximalism instead of discussing his oxygen levels.
10moments
- Tim asks the doctor to log on to Compound Media and pitch his health routine.
- The doctor prescribed ivermectin but Tim didn't take it, relying on physical fitness instead.
- Tim mentions going to movies and dinner, prompting the observation that he barely leaves his home.
- The doctor launches into conspiracy theories, claiming Jesus was based on the Sumerian god Horus.
- Mid-vital-signs check, the doctor pivots to explaining that money is no longer backed by gold.
- Tim describes the doctor as a Bitcoin maximalist convinced it's the only check on government power.
- Tim questions where Texas doctors attended school, suspecting some went to institutions like Texas Christian Academy.
- Discussion of foreign doctors getting licenses in South America, Brazil, and the Cayman Islands.
- Tim notes he was given an antibody infusion and is grateful they threw everything at his treatment.
- The Society for the Preservation of White Men paid for Tim's antibody infusion, according to his claim.
COVID-19Society for the Preservation of White MenTexasCompound MediaLucy
- 2 min
Tim jokes that a shadowy white-preservation group funded his monoclonal antibody treatment, riffing on the absurdity and unease of the claim.
4moments
- Tim received an infusion funded by a group called the Society for the Preservation of White Men, supposedly to preserve the lineage of Europeans.
- New York now has homeless camps under overpasses on Meeker Avenue, which Tim sees as the biggest visible change in the city.
- Tim notes he hasn't gotten stabbed yet, though expects the situation to resolve itself over time.
- Despite the chaos, he's confident his comedy tours will continue, likely with vaccine requirements rather than shutdowns.
New YorkhomelessnessMeeker Avenue
- 4 min
They discuss New York's Excelsior Pass vaccine verification, joke about incompetent bouncers checking IDs, and riff on a fantasy where people get glowing arm sensors instead of vaccine mandates.
9moments
- Excelsior passes prove you're vaccinated and you'll need one to get into clubs and restaurants in New York.
- The same bouncers and ID checkers who hassle people and don't use judgment would be enforcing vaccine requirements.
- Tim imagines a bouncer catching a 17-year-old thinking she can sneak past him and refusing to let her slide.
- Implementation is probably going to be sloppy, with a lot of venues lazily letting people in without checking.
- Instead of vaccine passports, the government should just give everyone a sensor in their arm that glows if you have COVID.
- Tim does a bit imagining Biden announcing vaccine sensors implanted in your body that glow iridescent blue if you're infected.
- If the chips were functional like Amazon's Dash buttons for ordering Ritz crackers, people might accept them.
- There's going to be real chaos before humanity perfects its biomechanical hybrid state.
- Tim would take a mechanical thyroid or car battery implant if it would help his metabolism.
- 3 min
Riffing on neck implants and becoming cyborgs, they argue America no longer rebels because entertainment and comfort have been stripped away, then joke about a CIA "woke division" undermining mind control, and imagine Epstein swapping in decoy victims.
8moments
- Tim describes a scenario where everyone is bionic and regulated by a mainframe computer, eliminating any reason for revolution.
- Freedom is what people want when things aren't going great—not when they have steaks, Game of Thrones, and Chili's.
- The woke movement has destroyed entertainment so thoroughly that the CIA's own propaganda tool has backfired.
- Tim jokes about a CIA woke division sabotaging the mind control division.
- Turning on TV and being constantly scolded is driving docile people toward serious anti-government activity.
- Epstein could have been sacrificed with a few low-level names like Topher Grace to satisfy the public.
- They couldn't chance that outcome, so they had to eliminate him entirely.
- The catch-22: unable to leave the house due to virus fears, yet needing mental health help.
Jeffrey EpsteinTopher GraceBill Richardson
- 1 min
Tim reads a BetterHelp online therapy ad, pitching affordable licensed counseling and a discount code.
6moments
- Tim opens the BetterHelp ad with the hook: "Do you sometimes wish there was a service where you could get help for your problems?"
- He announces BetterHelp as "a miracle" and spells out the name with audible enthusiasm.
- Tim explains what BetterHelp does: online therapy where you can start communicating with a counselor in under 48 hours, not a crisis line.
- He highlights that it's more affordable than traditional offline counseling with financial aid available.
- Tim directs listeners to betterhelp.com/timdy and mentions over one million people have used it.
- BetterHelp is recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states due to demand from the service's popularity.
- 3 min
Tim and Ray riff on shipping struggles before Tim reads the ShipStation ad for order and shipping management with a discount code.
4moments
- Tim admits he's really bad at shipping and sometimes just duct tapes items together, which gets lost and ruins his life.
- When Tim responds that he'd also love a million dollars but doesn't know how that'll happen, Ray tells him working with ShipStation is how to make a million dollars.
- Tim worries ShipStation might get nosy about what he's shipping and whether he'll be liable if something goes wrong during delivery.
- The reason Tim isn't Coca-Cola, he explains, is because of shipping—it's that simple.
- 1 min
Tim wraps up the ShipStation pitch, joking about being indemnified for delivery issues before giving the final offer code.
1moment
- Tim notes that nobody is actually passionate about logistics and order management, the stated reason ShipStation exists.
- 5 min
They discuss how surveillance and payment-processor deplatforming infrastructure is already built, then mock January 6th and modern protest movements as clownish compared to real historical revolutionary activity, comparing it to Trotsky photocopying his ass.
8moments
- Tim's concern about vaccine passport architecture already being technologically feasible through phones, payment processors, and the ability to kick people off the internet.
- The window for meaningful action on issues like this probably closed about twenty years ago, similar to climate change.
- A revolution in this country would look like a guy in a Viking helmet taking selfies in Congress for his Facebook profile picture.
- January 6th represents the most revolutionary activity Americans are likely to see—adults in costumes taking photos of themselves.
- Misinformation and the real yahoos attracted by false claims like Stop the Steal poison the possibility of any credible uprising.
- The last actual terrorist attacks—Boston Marathon, 9/11, Oklahoma City—all involved the FBI having extensive surveillance and infiltration of the perpetrators.
- Even militant groups and white supremacists seem more clownish now than they used to, despite the increasingly weird and bad discourse.
- Everything feels more clownish because it's dawning on people that things don't get better anymore.
January 69/11Boston Marathon bombingOklahoma City bombingvaccine passportElohim CityWaco
- 2 min
Tim describes society settling into permanent crisis mode—pandemic, climate, gridlock—while politicians throw maskless parties, predicting elites will keep partying as things get worse.
4moments
- People are capitulating to a new normal where violence, pandemic, government gridlock, and selective enforcement of mandates never actually stop.
- Politicians throw lavish maskless birthday parties while requiring masks for everyone else.
- When climate issues hit, the elite will stay inside on bad air days but throw luaus with oxygen tanks while the rest suffer.
- The goal is to keep the system from collapsing while the wealthy party and operate freely, even as the planet becomes less hospitable.
Epstein's IslandCalifornia fires
- 3 min
They speculate rich people's future luxury will be self-contained medical compounds rather than mansions, then joke about giving the population drugs to cope, echoing the opioid crisis, and wonder why California doesn't just hose down its forests.
8moments
- Future luxury won't be opulent mansions but well-guarded compounds with private hospitals and emergency rooms.
- The status symbol becomes how many medical wings your house has—wealthy families competing over cardiac wards.
- The new yacht is a school bus buried underground filled with guns.
- Tim asks what comes after dystopia—and suggests it's just apocalypse with flying hordes.
- Why doesn't the government just send people drugs in the mail to make everything seem more fun?
- The mortgage crisis, Iraq and Afghanistan wars, and torture all coincided with the OxyContin epidemic—a convenient distraction.
- If California forests burn every year from being dry, why can't they use irrigation hoses to keep them wet?
- We don't need more bridge infrastructure—just lay out seeping irrigation hoses across the forest.
bunkersOxyContin crisisFlint, Michigan
- 3 min
They discuss Flint's ongoing water crisis as a preview of American decline, joking about a government program to relocate people from dying rust belt cities and consolidate them into fewer 'nice' cities.
6moments
- Tim predicts more American cities will become ghost towns as people leave for better opportunities, including police officers abandoning struggling regions.
- These abandoned areas will become no-man's-lands where nobody goes, and the remaining trapped residents face increasingly hellish living conditions.
- Tim asks why people haven't simply relocated residents from dying cities the way people historically abandoned ghost towns.
- Tim imagines a hypothetical Biden proposal: a mandatory government relocation project randomly assigning Americans to adopt Flint families.
- The relocation problem: most American cities outside New York, Chicago, Miami, and LA are themselves economically struggling and can't absorb new residents.
- Tim proposes consolidating failing cities like Cincinnati, Cleveland, and Omaha into one or two thriving urban centers instead.
Joe BidenFlintCincinnatiConnecticutFoxconnClevelandDetroitChicago+4 more
- 3 min
Tim argues drugs and alcohol used to fuel American productivity (the Gilded Age, dock workers) and blames Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" for killing that relationship, before drifting into complaining about his dirty-looking new kitchen tile.
5moments
- Factory workers should earn fair wages to do speed — that's what built the country in the 1800s.
- Everyone during the Gilded Age was drunk on cider or whiskey, and it was the most productive time in American history.
- Nancy Reagan ruined this country with the "Just Say No" campaign that killed the working man's relationship with drugs and alcohol.
- Tim's new kitchen tile looks filthy — like mud streaks, like he lives in Flint — and he's already told the contractor he doesn't want to work with them anymore.
- The dirty kitchen floor look is apparently what ranch hands have going on down here, where people actually have horses and are the real deal.
- 1 min
Tim reads the Bespoke Post 'Box of Awesome' subscription box ad, riffing on getting random gear and comparing it to Battle Royale.
3moments
- Tim explains the Box of Awesome from Bespoke Post: a monthly subscription with $70 worth of gear for $45.
- Tim compares the randomized gear selection to the movie Battle Royale, where everyone gets a different weapon.
- Tim wonders aloud how many guns he needs after hearing about the monthly boxes.
Bespoke PostBattle Royale
- 2 min
Tim reads the Keeps hair loss treatment ad, joking that his own hair-loss ship has sailed, and riffs about Jesse Ventura sitting between Brett and Heather Weinstein.
3moments
- Tim notes that the ship has sailed for him on hair loss prevention.
- Hypothetical scenario: Brett Weinstein having Tim on his show, sitting between him and Heather while playing with his teeth.
- Tim emphasizes that Keeps matters because people want to keep their real hair, not grow it back.
- 6 min
Tim and Ray discuss the fall of Kabul, questioning why 20 years of training produced a government that collapsed instantly, and joke darkly about soldiers dying for a doomed mission, leading into Chris Kyle, Jesse Ventura's Navy SEAL funeral controversy, and Bin Laden jokes.
11moments
- Tim questions why America is still worried about Afghan terrorism 20 years after 9/11 if the Taliban learned their lesson from the occupation.
- U.S. repeatedly trained and armed radical elements in Afghan society, yet Americans act shocked when these interventions backfire.
- America trained Afghan forces for 20 years but they collapsed in a day when the Taliban returned.
- Tim argues America never wanted Afghanistan to work and may want it to collapse so the country has justification to return.
- There are only a few peaceful years left before global conditions worsen significantly.
- Military service is better than working at Walmart, though soldiers joining now know their missions are doomed to failure.
- Armed forces should post a sign saying recruits will die in vain unless they save a baby on a doomed mission.
- Chris Kyle claimed Jesse Ventura said a Navy SEAL deserved to die at a funeral, sparking a dispute.
- Jesse Ventura was basically a SEAL himself and mixes credible points about 9/11 with conspiracy topics like HAARP.
- Tim jokes about going completely insane on air, calling Navy SEALs undeserving and praising Osama bin Laden.
- Tim pivots to mocking religious devotion while the bit descends into incoherence.
Chris KyleJesse VenturaAfghanistanMichael TracyAmerican SniperZero Dark ThirtyHAARP
- 2 min
They fantasize about opening a conspiracy-theory-themed chain restaurant with Jesse Ventura, complete with dishes like Northwoods Nachos and MK Ultra Feast.
6moments
- Tim pitches a conspiracy-themed restaurant concept modeled on Applebee's or Outback Steakhouse, but with syringes and Building 7 pictures instead of boomerangs and kangaroos.
- Menu items include Northwoods Nachos and MK Ultra Feast.
- Tim mentions wanting to launch a conspiracy theory line of ice creams discussed on Patreon, but ice cream is impractical to ship and sell.
- He can't taste anything right now because of COVID, but food still appeals to him—he just eats without tasting.
- Tim is eating healthier now with no inflammatory foods while recovering, expecting to test negative in a few days.
- He's still interested in making an expensive ice cream line sold to a very small, select group of people.
- 4 min
Riffing further, they invent absurd, expensive novelty ice cream flavors including a 9/11-themed "jet fuel doesn't melt" flavor and a New Orleans-style beignet flavor.
9moments
- 9/11-themed ice cream flavors: Jet Fuel Doesn't Melt Sweet Cream and Controlled Demo Licorice
- Tim considers partnering with Jesse Ventura to start the ice cream business
- Starting a small business requires mortgaging your house or your parents' house as capital
- Plan to open a coffee house with no experience, hire friends like Devin as models
- Idea to open a restaurant called Bucket of Spaghetti in Huntsville, Alabama
- Bucket of Spaghetti would offer different sauce options including pesto, butter, and peanut butter
- Customers eat directly out of buckets like animals instead of using utensils
- Proposal to handcuff customers' hands behind their backs to eat like a pie-eating contest
- Final concept: Johnny Buckets or Jolly Buckets restaurant where everything is served in a bucket
Jesse VenturaWylie Dufresne
- 2 min
Tim pitches a restaurant called Bucket of Spaghetti (or Johnny Buckets) where every food and drink is served in a bucket to be eaten trough-style, complete with merch ideas.
7moments
- Bucket restaurant concept: customers choose items like chicken wings, pasta, bread, and peanut butter and jelly, which get mashed together in a bucket.
- Everything comes in buckets—food and drinks mixed together into one big slop, all served in cardboard for environmental reasons.
- Tim pitches merchandise: shirts saying "Fuck it, I'm getting a bucket."
- Ray Comp asked why he hasn't enlisted to fight and prevent the loss of Kabul.
- Tim contrasts U.S. and Chinese approaches to geopolitics: America makes movies justifying its actions while China stays silent about its brutality.
- The disconnect between American propaganda and reality—like claiming Muslims work as Santa's helpers while actually torturing them—makes people angry.
- China's honesty about brutality has a certain refreshing quality compared to American hypocrisy.
ChinaUnited States foreign policyAfghanistan withdrawal
- 1 min