Episode 238 · The Ben Avery Era
Classic tier — a personal pick, not a popularity ranking#238 - Keep Your Mouth Shut | The Tim Dillon Show
Feb 7, 2021 · 1:13:16 · 470,000 views · 19 segments, 107 moments indexed
Live from hill country, Tim broadcasts outdoors to break down a shocking video Ben showed him from Plains Township, Pennsylvania, journalists ratting on people on Clubhouse, and the one issue he's sick of every intellectual guru discussing.
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- 2 min
Cold Open: Late Episode, Moving Studios, and Whataburger Slander
#Tim apologizes for the late, video-less episode due to relocating the studio cross-country, then goes on a riff trashing Whataburger and In-N-Out as overrated fast food compared to the "iconic" Taco Bell.
3moments
- Tim announces the show is late because they're traveling and moving the studio across the country.
- The barbecue bacon burger is good but the plain water burger raises questions about what they're doing.
- Taco Bell is distinguished as an iconic cultural experience, unlike these other places.
- 19 min
The Philadelphia Snow Shoveling Murder-Suicide Video
#Ben shows Tim a disturbing viral video of a Philadelphia man who shoots his neighbors dead over a snow-shoveling dispute before killing himself; Tim dissects it at length as a piece of "content," praising the killer's cold one-liner, riffing on the couple's autistic son, and comparing it to Fargo and hacky movie lines his Long Island friends would use.
12moments
- Tim describes a Philadelphia murder-suicide over snow shoveling as deeply rattling, involving a couple antagonizing a neighbor.
- The neighbor shoots both people, goes back inside, returns with an AR-15, and executes the woman point-blank while saying 'you should have kept your mouth shut.'
- Tim explains the video's disturbing power: from the moment it begins, you sense something terrible will happen.
- He acknowledges the woman's final lesson while shooting her in the face is horrifying, though she needed to hear those words.
- Quarantine and pandemic lockdowns have pushed people to their breaking point, explaining the neighbor's violent reaction.
- The couple's antagonism—calling him names, threatening to make his life a living hell—provoked the shooting, though Tim doesn't condone it.
- Tim explores the dark irony that the shooter's autistic son witnesses his parents' execution, which will ensure the kid never steps out of line.
- He jokes about whether the woman was voted 'most likely to get shot in the face by an AR-15' in her Philadelphia high school yearbook.
- The shooter uses a handgun first, realizes it's insufficient, retrieves the AR-15, and delivers precise execution-style shots for closure.
- Evaluating the incident purely as content, Tim praises the line 'you should have kept your mouth shut' as perfect media—succinct, clear, well-delivered.
- The two-minute-twenty-second video is ideally paced for Twitter and social media, with a structured narrative arc and satisfying resolution.
- The shooter kills himself with the AR-15 rather than face trial, avoiding the legal consequences entirely.
- 5 min
Tim reads an ad for Massive Supplements' 10-day fasting and weight loss challenge, riffing on the "smash" branding, the $500 cash incentive, and the bizarre "don't be a bitch" motivational quotes.
10moments
- Tim opens with a pitch about confronting your deteriorated appearance over 15 years.
- Massive Supplements' 10-day fasting challenge promises 15 pounds lost, plus $500 if you complete their 'Integrity and Accountability' segments.
- The program's actual motto: 'don't be a __' — framed as the core mindset.
- Tim marvels at the branding: they named greens 'Smashing Greens' by combining fitness with violence.
- The product promise escalates: nutrients, energy, clear skin, fat loss, and turning you into 'the biggest piece of __ imaginable.'
- Tim jokes that the pre-workout will make you write 'gains' on Instagram instead of focusing on real life.
- Chris D'Elia drinks Massive coffee daily; Tim suggests it contributed to the dissolution of his podcast History Hyenas.
- The company sent Tim a box including a shirt that says 'Defund the Media' — Tim questions what kind of operation this is.
- The ad's closing bit: 'lose the weight and go fight your mother.'
- Final pitch to visit massivesupplements.com with promo code TIM D for 10 percent off, with the tagline 'don't be a __.'
- 1 min
A straightforward read for BetterHelp online therapy service, covering how the matching process works and the discount code.
- 5 min
COVID Lab Leak Theory and Rage at Reopening Businesses
#Tim discusses the growing credibility of the COVID lab-leak theory, then pivots to criticizing the intense anger directed at comedians and small businesses trying to reopen, suggesting the angriest critics are isolated, antisocial people who prefer the internet to real life.
6moments
- Tim accepts the lab-leak theory as increasingly credible, whether as bioweapon or manipulated research virus.
- The fury directed at Chappelle, Rogan, and anyone doing stand-up or opening restaurants baffles him.
- Twitter accounts raging at restaurants and comedy shows—does anyone believe that comes from concern for health, or just hatred of leaving the house?
- Many angry online activists barely exist in real life; they're gaunt, strange, anti-social people who found refuge on the internet.
- If you can't open when cases are falling, when could you possibly open—when no one is sick at all?
- Tim marvels that financial journalists get paid to write obvious takes, like Martin Wolf's declaration that containing China won't work.
ChinaDave ChappelleJoe RoganMartin Wolf
- 1 min
Elon Musk's Self-Driving Promises
#A quick riff mocking Elon Musk's repeated unfulfilled promises about full self-driving Teslas and the stock price going up regardless.
3moments
- Tim asks about Elon Musk's repeated promises that Tesla will be fully self-driving in two weeks, despite claiming this for three years.
- Stock price goes up whenever Musk makes these claims, regardless of whether people think he's full of shit.
- Tim preemptively apologizes to Elon in case he hears the criticism, noting they don't even know yet if they're joking.
- 11 min
Eric Weinstein, Lex Fridman, and Everyone Becoming a Guru
#Tim explains a joke he made about Eric Weinstein and Lex Fridman getting bogged down in the trans discourse, then expands into a broader rant about how everyone online now claims expert-level authority on every possible issue, and about the hypocrisy of people who champion free speech and comedy only until it's aimed at them.
11moments
- Tim made a joke about Eric Weinstein and Lex Fridman on Patreon, questioning what they've actually accomplished despite being smart.
- Why does everyone now become a guru and jump out of their lane to become an expert on every issue?
- Tim describes people deciding overnight they have the answer to whatever problem comes up—race, gender, vaccines, war, religion.
- YouTube's premise: I figured it out and everyone else who studied this is a bad-faith actor, hack, shill, or liar.
- People who defend comedy against the PC police get angry when you make jokes about them instead.
- The backlash to wokeness is becoming as sanctimonious and boring as the woke people themselves.
- Someone accused Tim of giving ammunition to the other side by making fun of people he agrees with.
- That's the exact same argument the left used—you can't joke about this because you're giving ammunition to the bad people.
- Tech people and successful folks love roasting, but roasting is mostly stupid and formulaic compared to real comedy.
- Tim doesn't want five hours of debate on a podcast with people he's skeptical of, especially those who level accusations while exhibiting the same behavior.
- Either comedy doesn't matter and you take what you want from it, or it's an important social force—pick one, can't be both.
- 6 min
Roast Comedy, Gary Vee, and Late Night Propaganda
#Tim criticizes the shallow "roast" style of comedy loved by successful tech people, mocks Gary Vaynerchuk's vague motivational quotes, and describes late-night hosts like Jimmy Kimmel reading scripted political lines (like "Russian disruptors") that clearly aren't their own thoughts.
11moments
- Michelle Wolf's White House Correspondents' Dinner roast of Trump sparked backlash from people who'd called comedians snowflakes.
- Tim explains why he makes fun of Gary Vee despite probably being a good guy—his advice is vague and the way he arranges words is ridiculous.
- Reading Gary Vee quotes aloud and telling someone to start a business would make them think you're smoking crack cocaine.
- A big comedian told Tim that Jeff Bezos invited him to summer camp, but declined because comics shouldn't be tight with wealthy people they might need to roast.
- Rich and powerful people want to own comedians—they want to control what you make fun of and what you don't say.
- Late-night hosts like Jimmy Kimmel read propaganda handed to them five minutes before going on stage, not original thoughts.
- Jimmy Kimmel didn't come up with the 'Russian disruptors' Wall Street Bets bit on his way to work—someone in the writers room fed it to him, probably a CIA plant.
- Tim chose to stay in Texas for his first episode because nobody's told him what he can or can't do yet.
- Eric Weinstein is an ally whose vision of the world aligns with Tim's, but that doesn't mean he can't joke about him.
- Tim doesn't want to be handed notes between Home Depot ads and worries about pressure to take sides as he becomes more known.
- As success grows, wealthy and powerful people want to have lunch and build relationships, but Tim prefers to stay close to writers instead.
Gary VaynerchukEric WeinsteinJimmy KimmelJeff BezosGina HaspelMichelle Wolf
- 3 min
Not Wanting Lunch with Journalists, and the Vaccine
#Tim explains his wariness of cozying up to journalists and public figures who want to "own" him, name-drops wanting to have lunch with Jordan Peterson, and riffs on his ambivalence about getting the COVID vaccine.
8moments
- Tim refuses lunch invitations from journalists because he knows what they want.
- He'd rather have lunch with Jordan Peterson because Peterson is actually interesting and has been through interesting things.
- Tim proposes poking fun at the intellectual dark web instead of treating it as sacred ground.
- His job is to make fun of everybody, so he can't get too deep into any particular ideological world or crusade.
- Tim won't spend every waking hour worrying about trans athletes in women's sports when he's already stated his position.
- His take on kids and gender: let a four-year-old wear a dress, but don't start shooting them up with hormones.
- On the vaccine: Tim doesn't love it but admits it might be better than COVID, and he'll probably need it to work.
- Tim imagines himself standing outside vaccination sites asking people if they really know what's happening to them.
Jordan PetersonCOVID-19 vaccinesintellectual dark webtransgender rights in sports
- 3 min
Imagine Being a Palestinian Professor, and the Russian Grandma Bit
#Tim plays a hypothetical "imagine" game about being a Palestinian professor at Columbia to question free-speech hypocrisy, then does a bit imagining a Russian immigrant family in Brighton Beach watching the show while smoking and eating borscht.
4moments
- Tim's hypothetical: imagine being a Palestinian professor at Columbia asking free speech advocates whether they still support free speech.
- Anna from Red Scare's mom and sister watched the show, and Tim imagines them smoking in a Brighton Beach apartment with a Stalin picture on the wall.
- Tim expects Anna will complain that her family didn't like the smoking humor and tells everyone to stop being sensitive.
- Woman who towed Tim's car to Texas took offense when he wrote it was "dirty" on the intake form, calling it rude instead of laughing.
- 1 min
Return to the Snow Shooting: The Backstory
#A brief return to the Philadelphia shooting story, discussing that it was an ongoing feud and the shooter had reportedly asked the couple to stop shoveling snow onto his lawn before it escalated.
1moment
- The neighbor in the snow shooting incident was ex-military and had seen Tim's show.
- 2 min
Tim reads an ad for BlueChew, the chewable erectile dysfunction medication service, joking about receiving a blueberry muffin instead of the product.
2moments
- Tim notes that chewable tablets give you hard dicks, then admits he asked BlueChew for free product and they sent him a blueberry muffin instead.
- Ad copy provides website and promo code TD for first month free.
- 2 min
An ad read for Magic Spoon keto cereal touting the new permanent peanut butter flavor and its nutritional stats.
2moments
- Tim wishes Ben & Jerry's would permanently add Dublin Mudslide to their lineup, noting he's threatened them multiple times about it.
- Mixing cocoa and peanut butter flavors together tastes exactly like a peanut butter cup.
Magic SpoonBen & Jerry's
- 1 min
Tim briefly discusses the difficulty of moving into the new house and studio, including trying to get a custom desk through the door and needing gas instead of an electric stove.
3moments
- Tim explains they're trying to fit a custom desk through the door of the new studio space.
- He complains about cooking on an electric stove like a monster instead of gas.
- Tim says he's settling in and won't move every two months anymore.
- 7 min
Clubhouse: Zuckerberg, Lindy England, and the R-Word Snitch
#Tim riffs on a bizarre Clubhouse room pairing Mark Zuckerberg with Abu Ghraib's Lindy England, mocks identity-obsessed Clubhouse rooms, and tells the story of a journalist named Felicia publicly outing tech guys for saying "the r-word" in what they thought were private conversations, then deleting and reassigning blame.
12moments
- Zuckerberg and Lindy England from Abu Ghraib are doing a room together on Clubhouse.
- Lindy England is Tim and Ray's favorite reference because most people have no idea who she is—the girl with the cigarette from Abu Ghraib.
- Tim plans to do rooms on Clubhouse like 'How to Be a Cancer Influencer' and 'Prison Influencer.'
- Clubhouse rooms are filled with people whining about lack of representation while smart people do actual work.
- Example of a Clubhouse room: addressing the lack of Native American lesbian trap music producers.
- Real people get terrified on Clubhouse when thousands listen; a coked-out DJ in Miami doesn't realize journalists are recording.
- A journalist named Taylor Lawrence is trying to catch someone who said the r-word on Clubhouse, claiming nobody corrected them.
- The journalist is dropping a dime on some guy for saying the r-word, and Tim questions what that even means.
- Tim doubts it's a joke—the journalist is ratting people out, possibly without understanding the room was meant to be uncensored.
- Tim compares tech bros on Clubhouse to animals on safari: you don't want to see cheetahs eating with a tablecloth, you want to see them as they really are.
- The journalist deleted her original tweet accusing someone of saying the r-word, then accused someone else instead—slandering people and correcting herself.
- Tim criticizes journalists sitting on Clubhouse trying to catch tech bros instead of reporting on dark money and the actual problems they've created.
Lindy EnglandMark ZuckerbergClubhouseAbu GhraibTaylor Lawrence
- 2 min
Healthcare Priorities vs. Clubhouse Outrage
#Tim contrasts the trivial obsession with catching people saying slurs on Clubhouse against the larger failure to get people basic healthcare and medicine.
5moments
- Tim on the contradiction: we can't get medicine to sick people, but insists everyone should get healthcare—then immediately call them a f****** anyway.
- Tim announces he's retiring from the show, promises a video next week.
- Super Bowl coming up tomorrow—Tim wonders if anyone actually cares who wins, suggests Tampa Bay buccaneer should win to make Dan Kearney happy.
- Tom Brady finally had something good happen to him after his rough life.
- Tim imagines an r-word ticker running live on Clubhouse like the NASDAQ, tracking who says it.
Tom BradyDan Kearney
- 1 min
Super Bowl Predictions and Clubhouse's Future
#A short riff on not caring who wins the Super Bowl (with a nod to Tom Brady and Tampa), followed by uncertainty about whether Clubhouse will remain popular, name-checking odd room topics like alien-briefing conspiracy theorist Dr. Steven Greer.
3moments
- Tim enjoys Clubhouse but isn't sure how long the appeal will last, especially since some rooms are really good while others are strange.
- The app hosts rooms with absurd topics like Gen Z discussions and conspiracy theory debates.
- Tim got in trouble for asking if Dr. Steven Greer is legitimate on Clubhouse, questioning whether he actually briefed five presidential administrations.
- 2 min
Questioning the Alien Briefing Guy and Trump White House Access
#Tim mocks getting attacked online for questioning whether a Clubhouse guest actually "briefed five presidential administrations" on aliens, and riffs on how easy it was to reach Donald Trump Jr. by just calling the White House during the Trump years.
4moments
- Tim claims he's briefed the last three presidential administrations on aliens.
- Tim questions what "briefing the White House on aliens" actually means—the president or just someone in his orbit.
- Tim pivots to commenting on how pretty the stars are in Texas.
- Tim asks if shooting stars dye their hair five times on the way down.
- 2 min
Closing Riff: Returning to the Haunting Snow Video
#Tim closes the show by returning one more time to the Philadelphia murder video, reflecting on how haunting it was, warning listeners not to seek it out, and joking that anyone could be one r-word or one tweet away from snapping.
7moments
- Tim warns listeners not to seek out a haunting two-minute video he's referencing, describing it as disturbing.
- The video tells an entire story in two minutes and twenty seconds, located in Plains Township, Pennsylvania.
- Tim describes it as another Clubhouse room gone wrong, with a haunting image of a guy involved.
- This is what happens when people are pushed to their breaking point—you don't know who's about to blow.
- Maybe it takes just one r-word and someone's ready to take out an AR-15; you don't know what anyone's breaking point is.
- Tim calls it the worst thing he's ever seen, or at least up there with the worst things.
- Despite all that, Tim says he'd watch it again.
Plains Township