rant · moment 16 of 19
Winning the National Debate Championship in Woodland Hills and Losing His Virginity
from #227 - Sober Up | The Tim Dillon Show · #227
6 min
Tim recounts his debate team trips to Woodland Hills and Philadelphia, including losing his virginity, winning his community college's first-ever national debate gold medal while stoned, and selling his house being tied to his debate partner Kenny.
- Tim won the national debate tournament in Philadelphia, stomping on competitors' faces in an ill-fitting cheap suit.
- Debate team at Nassau Community College was the only college experience Tim had, traveling to real universities for tournaments.
- First national tournament was in Woodland Hills, California at a Marriott, where Tim lost his virginity to a biological woman.
- Tim's first sexual experience was with a white woman, not Latinx, which he says would have been hotter for social media purposes.
- At the Philadelphia tournament the next year, Tim wanted to win badly and smoked pot all weekend listening to Beanie Sigel while driving his shitty car.
- Tim won the gold medal—the first in Nassau Community College's history—a prison-like school two blocks away from an actual prison on Long Island.
- A chubby woman in terry cloth pants and flip-flops told Tim outside their biology class that she could drink and raise her daughter, a statement that haunts him.
- Tim ate at the International Buffet between classes, an Asian fusion place that served sushi and french fries, leaving him sick from soy and MSG.
- Once Tim vomited on his shirt at the buffet, walked back to class without it, and when someone asked if he'd just vomited, he confirmed it and they laughed.
- Tim wishes he'd gone to a real college so he could have come out earlier and been happier, but then he wouldn't be funny and wouldn't have bought the house that destroyed his life.
Nassau Community CollegePhiladelphiaBeanie SigelLos AngelesLong IslandWoodland HillsGarden City