Episode 223 · The Ben Avery Era
#223 - Lil Xan | The Tim Dillon Show
with Lil Xan
Oct 25, 2020 · 1:17:58 · 340,000 views · 26 segments, 185 moments indexed
Lil Xan talks his new sober life, remembering Mac Miller and XXXTentacion, his go to order at Del Taco, dropping out of high school freshman year, and living in motels as a kid.
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- 1 min
Intro and the Mismatched Duo Bit
#Tim welcomes Lil Xan to the show, joking about how odd a pairing they are and riffing on who's mentoring who.
1moment
- Welcome to The Tim Dillon Show with a special guest episode
- 3 min
Lil Xan explains how his stage name came from being high on Xanax in Austin in 2016, how his friends' music careers pulled him into rapping, and how the controversy around his name and image took off.
8moments
- Tim is considering getting his first tattoo to commemorate a tour with his opener Dan.
- Doing comedy during the election run-up creates uncertainty about what crowds will be like.
- Audiences have been tense in recent weeks, having stayed home and now venturing out to clubs.
- His audience is politically divided—some want Trump to win, others view him as the devil—and he puts them in a room, pours alcohol on them, and tries to make them all laugh.
- Phoenix, Arizona crowds were drunk, partying junkies who didn't take mask-wearing seriously and tried to grab him for meet-and-greets after shows.
- The name Lil Xan came from a friend in Austin in 2016 who called him that because he was always high on Xanax.
- His camera had been stolen and he was off Xanax when walking into a liquor store on Main Street.
- He wasn't planning to make music until all his friends started making it, so he moved back to LA and decided to try it.
- 3 min
Lil Xan describes his five-seizure hospitalization after trying to quit Xanax and oxycodone cold turkey, feeling like the best he's ever felt now sober, and reflects on deaths like Mac Miller and Lil Peep as warnings about drug culture in music.
6moments
- Tim asks about a recent hospital scare; guest describes having five seizures after trying to quit oxycodone and Xanax cold turkey.
- Guest explains he's felt better sober than ever before, describing sobriety as its own type of high and a shift in mental clarity.
- Guest argues drugs can help creativity but aren't necessary, and that sobriety allows for finding balance and alternative inspiration.
- Tim notes that comedy used to have many more drugs until so many people died, asking if recent tragic deaths are making people reconsider how they live.
- Guest reflects on losing talented artists like Mac Miller and Lil Peep to drugs, acknowledging both the immediate loss and how addiction has always claimed young people in the spotlight.
- Guest reveals he was an addict for ten years, starting cocaine use at age thirteen and struggling until age twenty-five.
Lil PeepMac Miller
- 4 min
Tim shares his decade of cocaine addiction starting at 13, buying an overpriced house at 22, and how he transferred his addiction into doing stand-up multiple times a night; they discuss finding replacement passions to get sober.
11moments
- Tim bought a $600,000 house on a subprime mortgage when he was 22, cooked on cocaine, though the house was worth maybe $350,000.
- He'd tell people about drowning in debt and drugs, and they'd laugh while he thought he was literally going to die.
- Started doing stand-up at 25 because making people laugh seemed better than his current trajectory, and sobered up over the next decade.
- Tim transferred his addiction from drugs to comedy, performing three or four times a night instead.
- Finding something you're passionate about to occupy your mind is probably the best advice for someone dealing with addiction.
- His opener majored in fitness, which Tim didn't know was even a major, and keeps him grounded when he gets carried away.
- In his early 20s, Tim was drunk, high, driving without insurance or a valid license, barely scraping by in a subprime mortgage office.
- He dropped out of high school after three months, around Halloween, because he felt like he was trying too hard to fit in and be someone he wasn't.
- Spent most of his would-be high school years playing video games instead of talking to girls.
- His parents weren't thrilled initially but realized they couldn't control him and ended up being supportive as he figured out his own path.
- Tim knew early that conventional school and community weren't for him, though he doesn't encourage others to drop out.
- 3 min
They compare growing up dropping out of school, Lil Xan's love of Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, and grunge bands, and the moment his song 'Betrayed' hit a million views and he realized music could actually be a career.
7moments
- Tim's guest grew up listening to vinyl records with his dad and loved old school rap like A Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, and Big L.
- Guest jokes that he dated Foxy Brown for many years right after she got out of the Firm.
- Tim mentions his inspirations were comedians like Patrice O'Neal, Bill Hicks, George Carlin, and Joan Rivers who said things he couldn't believe were possible.
- Guest didn't really know he wanted to pursue music until very late in his development.
- When he started making music, he began to appreciate the craft and realized music was something really special.
- Guest was a supporting act for friends and lesser-known artists, performing for around ten people at a time.
- The breakthrough came when he dropped a record called Betrayed on Cole Bennett's Lyrical Lemonade platform.
Foxy BrownBill HicksGeorge CarlinJoan RiversPatrice O'NealNirvanaA Tribe Called QuestDe La Soul+5 more
- 4 min
Discussion of signing to Columbia Records, the pros of label resources like playlist placement versus staying independent, and how newer artists like Iann Dior and The Kid LAROI are blowing up despite not being able to tour during the pandemic.
7moments
- Cole Bennett and the Lyrical Lemonade connection launched his career into overdrive.
- He stayed independent for a good stretch before signing to Columbia Records.
- Tim asks whether new artists should go independent or sign to a label.
- Labels bring resources and playlist placement that independents can't easily get on their own.
- People from his small town wrote him off early; some came back once he got famous, others still hate his success.
- Tim compares dropping out of school to pursue music with Steve Jobs and Bill Gates dropping out.
- He got his mom's name tattooed on his forehead at 18, when face tattoos weren't yet common.
No JumperColumbia RecordsCole BennettIan DiorKid LeroyLil Xan
- 3 min
Lil Xan explains getting his mom's name 'Candy' tattooed on his face at 18 before face tattoos were trendy, and how family members who once wrote him off now try to reconnect now that he has money and fame.
8moments
- Got his mom's name "Candy" tattooed on his face to soften the blow of getting inked.
- His mom is still pissed about the face tattoo and told him he'd have to do something crazy to make up for it.
- Walking into a job interview with "Candy" on your cheeks makes it hard to get hired.
- Started making music thinking it was cool, then it actually worked out and he realized dreams can happen.
- Tim notes he's talented and tells people to shut up and take their dreams seriously instead of just talking about them.
- When success started, family members and hangers-on came crawling back into his life wanting to reconnect.
- He was the black sheep of his extended family even before fame, so he pushed them all away with a stick.
- He came up really poor, which shaped how he dealt with relatives suddenly trying to get close after he made it.
- 2 min
Lil Xan recounts losing his grandmother's caretaker checks and ending up living in motels as a teenager, and reveals his half-brother is currently in prison for attempted murder.
7moments
- Growing up poor in San Bernardino, hit a rough patch after grandmother passed away at 99.
- Family relied on caretaker checks to pay rent; when grandmother died, they moved into motels.
- Tim was around 18 or 19 years old, living in one-bedroom motel rooms infested with cockroaches.
- It's expensive to be poor in America—motels charge weekly rates, adding up fast without credit or savings.
- Half-brother is in prison for attempted murder, gets out next year.
- Brother is a good person who got mixed up in drugs; Tim hopes he's changed.
- Tim hasn't visited him in a long time due to distance, plans to see him when he's released next year.
San BernardinoYucaipaCoco
- 6 min
Tim runs through an extended, increasingly filthy riff for Sheath Underwear, including a fake dating scenario involving a dog, all built around the promo code TIM for 20% off.
9moments
- Tim describes Sheath underwear as doubling as a bathing suit and claims everyone he knows wears it, including Ben and Dan.
- Explains the underwear's pouch feature for tucking and claims Ben gets to use it more often due to size.
- Tim pitches the basic benefit: balls don't stick to legs, dick goes in the pouch, everybody is happy.
- Suggests Sheath makes great Christmas stocking gifts and notes their versatility for poolwear, housewear, and even jogging in black with red band.
- Tim argues the underwear works for anyone wanting to have sex with a woman, man, or dog, then deflects criticism as comedy.
- In Palm Springs heat, Tim praises the cooling ergonomic pouch as priceless and suggests it's a conversation starter on dates.
- Tim role-plays a date scenario where he pivots from discussing lamb entree to asking how many dates before involving the woman's dog.
- Provides promo code and claims the company owner called him a comic genius today, so he can't criticize the ad.
- Final push: directs listeners to Sheath underwear dot com, assures he was kidding about the dog sex, and braces for tomorrow's calls.
Sheath UnderwearYes or yes
- 5 min
Tim tells an extended story about a childhood friend from an abusive household who had Lucky Charms, using it as a springboard into an ad for Magic Spoon cereal's keto-friendly flavors.
10moments
- Tim recalls visiting a friend's house as a kid and being jealous of his Lucky Charms cereal, despite the friend's parents being abusive drunks.
- The friend's parents were violent alcoholics who beat each other and their son in a filthy house that smelled like cat urine.
- Tim describes getting older and blaming the friend less as he realized the kid was mouthy and difficult.
- The strange dynamic of rooting for abusive parents to beat up the annoying kid in the neighborhood.
- Lucky Charms cereal tastes better in a house reeking of cat piss with a bloody-nosed friend than anywhere else.
- Tim has spent his entire adult life trying to recapture that specific feeling from childhood.
- Detailed description of the friend's parents as dark, leathery, and violent drunks who beat their son before he'd show up to school bloodied but full of cereal.
- Someone recommended Magic Spoon cereal as a solution, claiming it's keto-friendly with zero sugar, 11 grams of protein, and three grams of carbs per serving.
- The parents would take turns beating the friend when one hand got tired, cracking open beers between rounds of violence.
- Magic Spoon is great cereal that supports the show, and you can give it to your kids instead of beating them.
- 3 min
Lil Xan reflects on not feeling depressed while poor because he was chasing his music dream, taking photos of artists as a superfan before landing the Lil Xan name, and how the hardship shaped his sad/emo rap style.
9moments
- Living in motels while chasing the dream—whether the situation itself caused depression.
- Tim's guest explains he was trying to chase his dream and knew someone in the family had to change things.
- One of those guys gave him the opportunity to fly to Austin, Texas, where he got the name Lil Xan.
- The guest reflects on whether all that bad stuff might have actually been for the better.
- He doesn't like to label his music genre but explains people call it cloud rap, mumble rap, SoundCloud era stuff.
- Tim notes the guest talks about a lot of pain and addiction in his work—emo rap, sad rap.
- The song Slingshot is the one they used on a video Tim helped with and it's a good pump-up before going on stage.
- Tim's guest says the video was shot at Forest Falls, about an hour away, with a waterfall at the end.
- The video ends with the guest's ass crack and then the song plays.
Lil XanSoundCloudAustinForest Falls
- 3 min
They discuss LA dining trends, Taco Bell vs Del Taco, and Lil Xan tells the story of throwing a slushie at a Wetzel's Pretzel employee who disrespected his date at a mall food court.
5moments
- Tim loves going to good restaurants and having good food, though he's not super into the trendiness of L.A. dining culture.
- During the pandemic, eating became his main activity, leading him to discover places like Saddle Ranch and fast-casual chains.
- Food court incident: Tim took a beautiful girl to a mall food court, where a Wetzel Pretzel worker asked to take a picture—but not of Tim, of the girl.
- Tim told the worker to get the fuck out, but then felt bad about how he handled it.
- Tim threw a slushie he was holding at the Wetzel Pretzel worker, hitting him perfectly and causing him to jump on the table while security blocked the scene.
- 3 min
Lil Xan clarifies the real story behind the viral 'hot Cheetos overdose' rumor, discusses tabloid media like TMZ, and talks about surprising fans including older women and bands like Korn and Marilyn Manson.
4moments
- Tim explains the Hot Cheetos hospital story: he ate multiple bags, started vomiting, saw a little blood, and went to the hospital, but it wasn't serious.
- Media outlets picked up the Hot Cheetos story and ran with it, claiming he overdosed, which Tim says wasn't even what he said in the original video.
- Tim doesn't hate the media for sensationalizing stories—they're just doing what they do to make money.
- Old women are a surprising part of his fanbase and will travel long distances to meet him at shows.
Marilyn MansonCornTMZDairy Queen
- 2 min
Lil Xan describes early pandemic fear, protecting his 62-year-old mother, identifying as politically independent, and predicting Trump's re-election would be bad given the state of the country.
4moments
- Tim was scared of COVID when it was unknown, less so now that information is available.
- He thinks 2020 is a horrible, tough year destined for the history books.
- Tim grew up in a very blue household but considers himself independent on politics.
- Trump winning again would be bad because something needs to change and the country is heading toward destruction.
- 1 min
Lil Xan shares his favorite conspiracy theory that JFK Jr. is alive and set to be Trump's running mate, and they discuss theories about Princess Diana's death.
2moments
- Favorite conspiracy: JFK Jr. is still alive and will replace Mike Pence as Trump's running mate.
- Tim likes the idea of dead people coming back, and brings up Princess Diana as another one.
conspiraciesJFK Jr.Princess DianaDonald TrumpMike Pence
- 4 min
Lil Xan talks about helping younger artists like Fem and Lil Mosey, his early connections to XXXTentacion and Juice WRLD, and the sense of 'divine' talent he felt around them before their deaths.
10moments
- Tim on the challenge of identifying who's genuine versus opportunistic in Hollywood
- He takes young artists on tour to help them develop their sound, including a female artist named Fem
- Tim was around Little Mosey before he blew up in Seattle a few years ago
- Picked up XXXTentacion from the airport and stayed in an Airbnb with him early in his career
- Surrounding yourself with successful, talented people rubs off on you
- XXXTentacion and Juice WRLD had a divine energy that made it clear they'd become superstars
- Same divine quality existed in Lil Peep and Mac Miller, artists taken too early
- Tim was casual friends with Mac Miller, hung out with him a few times in public settings
- Great artists often seem to become addicts or struggle with addiction
- Drugs can provide a different perspective on life that might help or hurt the music, but inspiration can be found sober
Little MoseyJuice WRLDXXXTentacionMac Miller
- 3 min
Lil Xan discusses dating women who are only interested in his fame versus being genuinely in love now, leading into a dark joke from Tim about OJ and Nicole Simpson.
9moments
- Dating women interested only in clout or money versus being in love now.
- Tim: being in love is good for creativity, but so is going through breakups.
- OJ and Nicole Simpson referenced as having a "real L.A. love" with their "glove."
- Guest asked about future plans: TV shows, YouTube content, or other projects.
- Tim jokes that Xanarchy has acquired and now owns the Tim Dillon Show.
- Guest wants to do podcasts to help people see him as less ignorant than his public image.
- Media portrays guest as a whirling dervish, but he's also just growing up at 24.
- Guest attributes eighty percent of wild incidents to being high on Xanax.
- Tim compares drug preferences: guest does Xanax, Tim claims he loves cocaine and weed.
O.J. and Nicole Simpson
- 4 min
Lil Xan discusses future plans for his 'Xanarchy' brand and podcasting ambitions, revisits the infamous Tupac comment controversy and backlash from Waka Flocka and T.I., and says he holds no grudges now that he's sober.
7moments
- Tim took an 80-milligram oxy once—or 70 or 80 times—and remembers laying on a couch with a friend, both just scratching themselves; it was overwhelming.
- Xanax gives false confidence, making you think you're invincible, which can work in your favor but also makes people think you're obnoxious.
- Lean, percocets, xans, and face tattoos are the starter pack for rap—the beginner's kit to get going.
- The Tupac comment was his most mischaracterized moment; he was high, sleepy, and angry at the interviewer, rushing through answers because he didn't want to be there.
- He was visibly uncomfortable during that interview, rocking back in his chair, clearly not wanting to be there.
- When Tupac stuff hit Twitter, T.I. was talking shit and Waka Flocka tried to ban him from hip-hop; he was just a young kid saying stupid stuff.
- Now sober and the most adult he's probably ever been, he has nothing against anybody and understands where they were coming from at the time.
Waka Flocka FlameTupac
- 2 min
Tim promotes DHM Detox hangover supplement, joking about his days as an inattentive lifeguard and touting the product's natural ingredients and money-back guarantee.
6moments
- Tim introduces DHM Detox as a vitamin for people who drink cocktails and want to avoid hangovers.
- Tim recalls being a young lifeguard who could drink all night and wake up sharp, then the pool owner told him a kid's mother saved them because the lifeguards were too out of it.
- As you get older it's harder to feel sharp after a night out, so Tim endorses DHM Detox as a natural alternative to pharmaceuticals.
- DHM Detox comes in convenient packets you take after your first couple of drinks and can share with friends.
- The product offers 20% off first order and free US shipping at knowdayswasted.co slash tim with promo code tim.
- The supplement helps you go out to dinner, have drinks, go dancing, and wake up the next day feeling productive and great.
DHM Detox
- 4 min
Tim pitches Keeps hair loss treatment while joking about his opener Dan's hairline, then drifts into bantering about giving away free show tickets and Instagram shoutouts for buying sponsor products.
11moments
- People are losing their hair, including Tim's opener who still has most of his.
- Two out of three guys will experience male pattern baldness by age 35.
- Keeps provides generic versions of the only two FDA-approved hair loss products, cheaper than brand alternatives.
- Tim recommends keeps.com/timdillon and suggests getting it for his opener Dan.
- Skip wigs, toupees, hair spraying, and surgical implants—just keep what you have now.
- Tim jokes that men go bald because they have high testosterone, which women don't accept as an excuse.
- Tim offers to reward listeners who take a photo of their head now and prove they bought Keeps in four months.
- Winners get Facebook shout-outs, Instagram Stories mentions, or full Instagram feed promotion if they buy all his sponsored products.
- Tim will promote someone's business on Instagram Stories as long as it's not illegal.
- Tim says they need to keep doing content on boats now, mentioning a yacht party he's advertising.
- Someone asks Tim about his sobriety.
- 3 min
Lil Xan gives a detailed account of what having five seizures in one day felt like, the hallucinations, waking up screaming, and doctors explaining it was caused by Xanax withdrawal rather than opioids.
7moments
- Guest had five seizures in one day while trying to quit Xanax cold turkey.
- Tim jokes about his staff interrupting the serious conversation with demands for free tickets.
- Guest describes what a seizure feels like—hallucinating without realizing it, then waking up terrified.
- Waking up from the seizure, he was screaming like someone being murdered with his family watching.
- Xanax withdrawal alone caused the seizures, not other drugs—showing how powerful benzodiazepines are.
- Doctors prescribed anti-seizure medication and urged him to go to rehab, but he decided to quit on his own.
- Quitting was extremely hard—he couldn't sleep or eat and lost significant weight.
- 4 min
They discuss the excitement of returning to sold-out live shows, the grim reality of dying alone in hospitals during the pandemic without family present, and how comedy and music serve as coping mechanisms for both of them.
10moments
- Tim asks about getting back to live shows once quarantine ends, noting the missed adrenaline of performing for sold-out crowds.
- The guest describes selling out shows during the pandemic, with people packed in despite the crisis because they need to laugh.
- Discussion of the Comedy Store in Hollywood still being closed, with Tim predicting the closure extends through winter into spring.
- Tim expects people will eventually tire of restrictions and abandon caution by spring, despite potential second waves.
- The guest recalls being hospitalized for seizures at the pandemic's start and hospital policies preventing visitors.
- Tim laments the cruelty of dying alone in hospitals without family, compounded by the impossibility of having support during childbirth.
- Comedy becomes Tim's coping mechanism for processing how broken and unjust the world has become.
- Tim jokes that he actually enjoys being treated poorly at restaurants because it clarifies where he stands.
- Tim recounts going to Nobu without a reservation and being told the wait was four and a half hours, asking them to just box up the sushi.
- Tim compares restaurant etiquette to TikTok culture, mocking young influencers being filmed at tables.
- 4 min
They mock LA's Saddle Ranch TikTok teens, discuss paparazzi harassing child influencers, and debate whether TikTok dancers are 'artists' compared to musicians like Mac Miller.
10moments
- Paparazzi climbing over hedges to interview TikTok teenagers about mundane things like getting a car.
- Tim appreciates what TikTok is for music and making money, but doesn't dance on the platform himself.
- Paparazzi ask about TikTok beef drama, which Tim finds increasingly alien as he gets older.
- TikTok fame is transient; the smart ones like Bryce Hall pivot to finance advice podcasts and angel investing.
- Tim argues shirtless TikTok dancing isn't art—it's not like making a song or writing a book.
- Smart TikTokers know their platform is temporary, which is why they all push energy drinks and get investors.
- The guest became famous through actual music-making in a scene, whereas TikTok fame often comes from just being famous for being famous.
- The guest's online persona became its own thing; people joined in just to see what happens next.
- Kids emulate the guest's style, with imitators like 'Emotional Zam' taking the bit into their own names.
- Having 'Zan' in your name means you can never have a normal appearance—it has to be wild and out there.
TikTokBryce HallLos AngelesBang EnergyMac Miller
- 2 min
They joke about a fan/rapper named 'Emotional Zan' who emulates Lil Xan's look, and riff on how anyone with 'Zan' in their name has to have a wild appearance.
6moments
- Emotional Zan holding a gun in a family photo.
- Tim asks about goals — Emotional Zan wants to put out a killer album.
- Tim compares the evolution to Machine Gun Kelly transitioning to pop punk.
- MGK had a number one album doing alternative rock, proving there are no musical borders anymore.
- No limits exist now — Machine Gun Kelly can do alternative, you can do whatever, even Donald Trump became president.
- Tim notes that 2020 proved there's nothing you can't do at this point.
- 3 min
Lil Xan talks about working on his second album, praises Machine Gun Kelly's genre pivot, discusses his G-Wagon and clothing preferences like Polo, and closes with mutual appreciation between him and Tim.
10moments
- Tim notes the guest is now sober and jokes about throwing fits at Taco Bell without drugs.
- Discussion of Taco Bell orders and the "stoner burrito" with fries inside that workers didn't recognize by that name.
- Guest contrasts his current G-Wagon to the beat-up Nissan Versa he used to drive.
- Guest describes the G-Wagon as hard to control, saying it drives itself and goes the opposite direction you want.
- Tim asks what the guest prioritizes after making money—clothes, cars, or other status symbols.
- Tim jokes that the guest's look has become so recognizable that people dress as him for Halloween by putting on his face.
- Tim tells the guest he's a fan and loves his music, including the unofficial anthem "Slingshot."
- Tim admits he thought the guest was Billie Eilish for many years before realizing otherwise.
- Tim encourages the guest to stay sober and keep making music as he wraps up the interview.
- Guest provides social media handle and signs off.
- 1 min
Tim thanks Lil Xan for coming on and tells listeners where to find him on Instagram before closing out the episode.
1moment
- Tim signs off by recommending everyone get the stoner burrito