Episode 179 · The Ben Avery Era
#179 - Sal Vulcano | The Tim Dillon Show
with Sal Vulcano
Dec 22, 2019 · 2:02:24 · 204,000 views · 34 segments, 251 moments indexed
In this special Christmas episode, we play a holiday rant from an archived episode that is Patreon only titled "My Last Christmas" that was recorded last year.
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- 5 min
Christmas Episode Intro: My Last Christmas Rant Preview
#Tim introduces the Christmas episode, explaining it will feature an archived 20-minute rant called "My Last Christmas" about retiring from family holidays and "leveling up" by discarding people who hold you back, followed by an interview with Sal Vulcano of Impractical Jokers.
10moments
- Tim announces he's replaying a famous 20-minute rant from patron archives called 'My Last Christmas' about retiring from family holidays.
- The holidays are about getting rid of people and leveling up your life, not togetherness and gratitude.
- Tim explains the specific Christmas that prompted the rant and shook him to the core, marking a new life phase.
- He rejects the idea that holidays are about being grateful for what you have and argues they're about wanting more.
- Holidays involve driving by beautiful houses and deciding which people in your life aren't helping you achieve that security and warmth.
- Family relationships are based on mutual destruction and people just staring at each other while eating garbage food in sweatpants.
- The holidays function as a quarterly review or fiscal year-end assessment where you decide who's central and who's not.
- Tim announces the second part features an interview with Sal Vulcano from Impractical Jokers, one of the most successful shows in the last decade.
- Sal and his group experienced late success in their mid-30s after working day jobs, and the show has become a worldwide phenomenon where they sell out arenas.
- Tim notes that Sal is so famous people recognize him constantly at dinner, especially in New York City.
- 2 min
Boomers and Their Sense of Injustice
#Tim riffs on spending time with boomers over the holidays, mocking their sense of being victims despite inherited homes and decades of stable employment that no longer exist for younger generations.
3moments
- Tim spent time with boomers for a recent video and finds them fascinating, especially their shared sense of injustice about things they've been denied.
- Boomers position themselves as victims despite many having inherited homes and decades of job security—luxuries no longer available to younger generations.
- Tim acknowledges boomers' complaints are valid without deriding them, but notes their focus on past hardships misses what's coming ahead.
- 2 min
Tim asks fans to send photos wearing the show shirt, lists upcoming live dates in Austin, Baltimore, Toronto, and NYC, teases upcoming Patreon episodes with Luke Rudkowski and Ray Kump, and jokes about making a Meghan McCain shirt.
5moments
- Tim asks fans to send photos of themselves wearing the shirt, with the caveat that he'll post them unless they're extremely unattractive—actually, he'll post them anyway, even if deformed, but prefers extremes over regular ugly.
- Live dates announced across multiple cities: Austin in January, Baltimore at Magoo B's, Toronto, and Caroline's in New York City in March, with tickets available at Tim Dillon Comedy dot-com.
- Upcoming Patreon episode featuring Luke Radowski, who stormed Epstein's island in the Virgin Islands.
- More merch in the works including a Meghan McCain shirt that needs to be done the right way; Tim knows someone who was with her recently and reports she's not a fan of him.
- Potential podcast idea involving Meghan McCain, Joe Rogan, and Tim, described as fun times in the works.
- 1 min
Little St. James Singing and Becoming the Boomers
#Tim imagines someone on Epstein's island singing in a Robert Goulet voice, then riffs on how his generation will become the same complacent, checked-out boomers they mock now.
4moments
- Someone on Little St. James is singing in a Robert Goulet voice
- Tim describes the current state of the world as truly unhinged to an alarming degree
- Future boomer Tim will alternate between claiming satanic pedophiles run the government and taking time to golf
- The older generation's response to outrage: they gave up decades ago and decided to eat meatballs and wait for death
Sam TripoliRobert Goulet
- 3 min
Get a Life: Political Hashtag Activists Are Doomed
#Tim rants against online political obsessives who think tweeting about Trump or Elizabeth Warren will save them, telling them to get real lives, get married, and stop pretending the revolution is coming.
9moments
- Liz lost her foot to diabetes but she's back playing the hits on her comeback tour
- Politically active people on Twitter are going to realize the system will crush them like everybody else
- Tim urges listeners to get a life, get married, have kids, stop cocooning on Twitter with losers
- Care about real people in real life instead of jumping on hashtags
- Elizabeth Warren and Donald Trump don't care about you; you're a statistic to them
- Your tweets won't save you and politicians eating children aren't going to be influenced by your letters
- People who write about and talk politics are kids who've never been invited to parties and have had their souls replaced by teleprompters and listicles
- Political commentators on MSNBC and Fox just spout inane nonsense with nothing in their eyes
- Tim suggests people start a drug business, become crisis actors, or fake terrorist attacks instead of being politically online
Donald TrumpElizabeth WarrenFoxMSNBCBoston Marathon bombingLizzo
- 1 min
The Boston Marathon Bombing and the FBI
#Tim brings up questions about why Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has never given an interview and speculates the FBI may have used the Tsarnaev brothers as informants before the bombing.
3moments
- Tim questions why Dzhokhar Tsarnaev can't give interviews, suggesting the FBI used him and his brother as informants, then denied knowing who they were.
- Theory: the FBI allowed them to have a bomb to catch other bomb-makers, the device detonated, and they covered it up by claiming ignorance.
- The brothers were shot at in a boat; one was killed, and they also murdered an MIT cop despite making no real escape attempt around Boston.
- 4 min
Ugg Boots, Wealthy Comedy Crowds, and the Tina Turner Question
#Tim complains that comedy audiences are now wealthy women in Ugg boots and Chardonnay who only want relatable dating material, riffs on a heterosexual banker fantasy life named Colton, and wonders if Tina Turner's career benefited from being abused.
7moments
- Comedy has been invaded by wealthy white women in Ugg boots and expensive sweaters who want comics to talk about dating and avocado toast.
- Tim's rule: if you serve turkey again at Christmas, you're a psychopath and should have steak, ham, or pasta instead.
- He fantasizes about being heterosexual, a banker, dating a wealthy woman, and meeting her mother at a Princeton-adjacent family gathering.
- Tim speculates about what secret societies do in fields, imagining they perform big dance numbers chanting about Satan.
- Would Tina Turner have been better if she hadn't gotten smacked in the face, or would she have phoned it in otherwise?
- Tim argues that audiences want their entertainers to be miserable and traumatized, not healthy and happy, because that's where the best art comes from.
- Entertainment now prioritizes relatability above all else, forcing performers to enter the audience's dumb world instead of the audience entering theirs.
- 3 min
Firing the Audience and Fairfield County Snow Bunnies
#Tim jokes about performing for a Fairfield, Connecticut sorority crowd, fantasizes about firing every comedy club audience after a show, and complains about low-tier bookers and club promoters messaging him.
10moments
- Tim plans to tell Fairfield County audiences the country is run by a cabal of demons, alongside jokes about dying diners and Wendy's quality decline.
- Tim says he's firing everyone after tonight—plans to announce at every comedy club that tonight is the last show, using the closing line 'You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.'
- Working on Christmas and New Year's Eve himself, Tim notes he has seven shows scheduled for December 31st.
- Someone mailed Tim asking him to perform on a Monday or Tuesday morning, which he sees as evidence of mental illness and America's future.
- Tim refuses more offers after a kid asked him to perform at a Highland Park show.
- Tim threatens to start diving into audiences at hipster shows and biting people in the face to get fewer booking requests.
- Only Skull and Bones members should message Tim—everyone else messaging him are D-list scabs he doesn't want to work with.
- Tim's fed up with tertiary and fourth-tier people contacting him when he's trying to reach actual elite secret societies like Rothschild.
- The type of person messaging Tim is the fourth or fifth guy on a golf trip nobody cares about, and he resents having to engage with them.
- Stand-up comedy sucks.
James AltucherWendy'sFairfield ConnecticutHighland Park
- 2 min
Stand-up Sucks, Fired Fan Interaction Bit, and the Dry Snatch Podcast
#Tim continues riffing on how brutal stand-up is, does a bit interacting with an imaginary Puerto Rican-looking white fan, and jokes he should have made his podcast about "avocado toast and dry snatch" to get more listeners.
6moments
- Stand-up is the worst art form, though it's also the best
- He greets an audience member named Tim Dylan and asks if he's excited about the holiday
- Tim comments that the guy doesn't look Puerto Rican, then gets confused about what 'cooking Porto Rican' means
- Complaint: he gives everything for free while other podcasters with nine houses get rich off content about their personal lives
- If he'd called his podcast 'avocado toast in your asshole' and talked about his dry snatch like everyone else, he'd have 75 million listeners
- Telling the truth doesn't monetize the way personal dysfunction does
- 4 min
The Horror of Christmas Week and the Party-House Hangover Feeling
#Tim describes the dead week between Christmas and New Year's as an adult nightmare, comparing it to waking up at a stranger's party house the morning after in full daylight, and reveals this is his intentionally final year doing holidays fully with family.
4moments
- Christmas week as an adult is harrowing—a week-long hangover where you don't know what time or day it is, work is coming but isn't here yet.
- Waking up at the party house the morning after is seeing something you shouldn't see: the filth, the stains, the families who seemed generous now revealed as vampires scattering in sunlight.
- The week between Christmas and New Year's feels exactly like being stuck at a day-lit party house—a vortex between absolute hell and vapid family conversations.
- This is Tim's final year spending the holidays with his family because he's realized success requires constantly climbing and there's nowhere to go in that structure.
- 7 min
The Decline of Holiday Formality: Boomers, Paper Plates, and Supermarket Catering
#Tim blames the selfish baby boomer generation for phoning in holiday traditions, mocking paper plates, plastic cups, supermarket-catered meals, and potluck desserts like store-bought cheesecake and the infamous "dirt" dessert with gummy worms.
10moments
- Tim says the decline of holiday formality across generations has to stop now that older people are dying or bedridden.
- Baby boomers, a selfish generation that sucked everything out of the country on cheap credit, have inherited responsibility for holidays.
- Tim observes people using paper plates and plastic cups at holidays, treating family gatherings like GoFundMe advertisements for not owning glassware.
- Supermarket catering for Christmas dinner—buying food from stores where staff is on heroin—represents the degradation of the holiday.
- Potluck desserts reveal hosts who can't manage to buy or make dessert themselves despite throwing the party.
- No-bake Jello was marketed specifically to fat people who shouldn't go near an oven, a product designed for couch eating during Drew Carey Show marathons.
- A dessert called 'dirt'—whipped cream, pudding, cream cheese glop with crushed cookies and gummy worms—insulted guests while adults served it without embarrassment.
- When you host, you do the dessert; potluck desserts mean people half-ass cheap contributions they abandon and never defend.
- Tim recalls his childhood New Year's Day party where one dessert—Peach Melba—was the standard, not multiple options trying to please everyone and pleasing no one.
- His grandmother, nanny, and other family members cooked for days as a mark of pride; now people buy supermarket macaroni and cheese stirred up in an oxycontin frenzy in Long Island.
BoomersRed Solo cupsThe Drew Carey Show
- 4 min
Snuggies, 9/11, and the Hokey Pokey with Aunts
#Tim recounts his stepmother handing out Snuggies as a group gift while he tries to bring up 9/11 conspiracy theories, then describes standing through an adult hokey-pokey and wanting to end his own life out of despair.
9moments
- Tim on being told he's loud and sad, and how he gets worked up playing to 300 people.
- Holiday dinners should use real plates and utensils, not plastic, because Christ was born today.
- Stepmother gives Snuggies as gifts every year; Tim brings up Building 7 and 9/11 while everyone admires how soft they are.
- Teachers at family gatherings tell boring origin stories about why they became teachers.
- Teachers act like becoming a teacher was an achievement, when really they just wanted summers off and to leave by 2:30.
- Tim never criticized teachers until they claimed teaching was the most important job in the world.
- Teaching isn't in the top hundred important jobs because there's no shortage of people willing to do it.
- At holidays, you have to sit and listen to someone explain why they became a teacher.
- Stepmother makes everyone put on the Snuggies; Tim would rather tie a noose around his neck.
- 4 min
Why Did You Become a Teacher? A Holiday Interrogation
#Tim mocks people at holiday parties who explain why they became teachers, arguing teaching isn't a top job and that people romanticize the profession's time off and short hours rather than admitting it's an easy path.
10moments
- Tim's family gave him nooses as Christmas gifts in 2019, joking about the rough year ahead.
- Everyone wore slippers instead and posed for photos, then an aunt started the hokey-pokey while doing it.
- Tim describes his suicidal despair watching all the adults dance the hokey-pokey at the gathering.
- People doing the hokey-pokey probably don't want to hear about JFK conspiracies, satanic cults, or the deep state anyway.
- Tim's father is a talented guitarist but hasn't played in years and now only writes bad songs about his day job selling wine.
- His dad's new songs describe mundane details like taking the train to sell wine with three guitar chords.
- Tim's father's three dogs are named Maya Angelou, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Frederick Douglass after his liberal wife's influences.
- His father showed pictures of the dogs at Tim's grandmother's funeral and explained their historical names while people were crying.
- Tim's father keeps writing pointless songs about mundane routines like riding the train with coffee to sell wine.
- Tim realizes how easy and pointless songwriting is after listening to his father's material about summer and heat.
George H. W. BushGeorge W. BushKennedyFrederick DouglassMaya AngelouRuth Bader Ginsburg
- 3 min
Dad's Terrible Wine-Salesman Folk Songs and the 47-Year-Old Guitarist's Kid Collab
#Tim describes his father performing simplistic guitar songs about selling wine and naming his dogs after Maya Angelou, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Frederick Douglass, followed by a 47-year-old man performing a song he co-wrote with an 11-year-old about colors.
6moments
- An acoustic guitar makes any mediocre performance sound like art, and the room eats it up.
- A 47-year-old guitarist arrives and plays a song he wrote with an 11-year-old kid.
- The song consists entirely of color names: 'rainbow shine blue, green green green, yellow, you're so mellow.'
- Tim's response: children are stupid and their thoughts are worthless, so he won't listen to songs they write.
- Tim's father's wine-salesman folk songs weren't much better—lyrics like 'blue what are you gonna do' and 'red what do you say when it's red.'
- Tim pretends to enjoy the performance while internally checking out, deciding this is the last Christmas he'll endure these family sing-alongs.
- 1 min
Closing the Last Christmas Rant: Slippers as a Consolation Prize
#Tim wraps up the rant, mock-interviewing an imaginary teacher one more time and noting bitterly that all he got for the holiday was slippers.
2moments
- Tim says he's never met a teacher before and wonders what draws people to the profession.
- The appeal of being able to boss around people who aren't of age.
- 5 min
The interview with Sal Vulcano begins in his kitchen eating cheesecake from Pepe Lee Nose; they discuss Sal's family restaurant background, his dream of one day opening his own restaurant, and how he judges food quality like sports consistency.
10moments
- Tim explains how having friends who eat well keeps him on track with his own diet.
- Sal claims this is the best cheesecake in New York, and Tim respects his authority on food.
- Sal's uncle works in the restaurant business, and Sal has considered opening a restaurant himself.
- Tim tells Sal he's coming to ask Andrew Schultz, Yanis, and Chris for investors in a restaurant in five years.
- The cheesecake is from Peppa Lee Nose, which Sal discovered; he argues it's lighter than Junior's or SNS.
- Tim sent his friend and girlfriend to Don Angie in the West Village, but they weren't impressed.
- Tim's philosophy: most people don't know how to appreciate a simple dish made perfectly.
- Tim refuses to judge people's fashion choices because he doesn't understand fashion and won't pretend to.
- Sal compares good restaurants to sports—looking for consistency and the ability to hit the mark over and over.
- Tim always asks waiters if there's a dish prepared in a unique or special way that he should try.
Andrew SchulzDon AngiePeppa Lee
- 5 min
Sal discusses being a more private person than his Impractical Jokers castmates, how fans photograph him in public, misconceptions about TV fame equaling wealth, and how he first got into comedy idolizing Eddie Murphy and Bill Cosby.
9moments
- Tim reflects on missing anonymity now that he's on stadium tours and widely recognized.
- At Broadway shows, entire theaters turn around and stare when he walks in.
- Recognition is a blessing and a curse; Tim tries to avoid it, unlike Joe and James who welcome it.
- Tim has always been a private person and prefers not to be noticed.
- He wears a low hat and hood to deter people, though it only helps about fifty percent of the time.
- Constantly managing social anxiety because he feels people are watching him.
- The worst moments are when he's with family or a significant other and gets interrupted by fans.
- People frequently turn on cameras during interactions, which Tim finds deeply weird.
- Tim notes he's only basic-cable successful compared to genuinely famous people like Tom Hanks or Will Smith.
- 4 min
Sal recounts taking a stand-up writing class before pursuing comedy for real, including a memorable elderly German couple in class and their unintentionally hilarious joke about dieting and eating a slice of tomato.
9moments
- Tim wanted to be a comedian since childhood after making classmates laugh and idolizing Eddie Murphy and Bill Cosby.
- He took stand-up writing classes at the Gotham Writers Workshop instead of performing live because he was too nervous to get on stage.
- The Workshop had a stand-up teacher who gave writing assignments, critiques, and class shows over eight to twelve weeks.
- People from that class still bring it up to him decades later, though he doesn't think they remember much beyond his face.
- Only one person in the dozen-person class seemed like they could actually become a comic; the rest were taking it for public speaking or party skills.
- Tim was in college with a finance degree in 1998, working at Prudential Securities while taking acting classes at HB Studios because he needed something he was passionate about.
- He graduated with a finance degree he hated and retained no actual knowledge of the subject.
- Students at Gotham would hand-write their material, photocopy it, and distribute it to the whole class so everyone could read aloud and critique.
- Tim saved copies of other students' material from the class, including work from the old German couple.
Bill CosbyEddie MurphyGothamStaten Island MuseumPrudential SecuritiesHB Studios
- 5 min
Sal and Tim discuss how sacrifice is the unspoken requirement for creative success, and Sal admits his early stand-up material about hypocritical Catholics was mediocre compared to more seasoned material.
6moments
- Tim describes a 70-year-old couple at a Gotham comedy workshop who thought they were cool and beyond criticism despite having terrible material.
- Woman in the class proudly presents her dieting joke: you gain weight, lose two pounds, eat a tomato, gain three back — then leans back expecting applause.
- Tim argues you need delusion to survive the beginning of comedy because it's brutal and you don't know what you're doing or what's good.
- His early material was bad — a bit about religious people being hypocrites based on them saying 'peace be with you' then flipping each other off in the parking lot.
- Culture tells people to follow their dreams but never mentions sacrifice — quality of life, sleep, health, relationships, and dignity all disappear.
- Tim says even with success now he still feels the effects of those sacrifices.
- 4 min
Sal traces the group's origin from a Staten Island high school through reuniting after college, forming the Tenderloins, and winning an NBC online sketch comedy competition worth $100,000 total.
11moments
- All four Tenderloins members born in 1976, met as freshmen in the same school in 1990.
- They did improv in high school, then separated after graduating.
- Ran into Peter James at the mall after college; he had started an improv troupe at Georgetown.
- Georgetown's improv scene produced Birbiglia, Kroll, Mulaney, Novak, and other successful comics.
- Called Joe and Mike Q (Brian Quinn) to form the group; Quinn was working for Kevin Smith on comics and movies.
- Original member Mike left early to start a family and pursue other opportunities.
- Transitioned from stage improv to sketch comedy when MySpace and YouTube emerged.
- NBC held an online sketch comedy competition with weekly themes and $1,000 weekly prizes for 20 weeks.
- The Tenderloins won 11 of the 20 weekly NBC competitions, earning $11,000 total with a handycam and four people.
- NBC turned five winning sketches into a pilot episode hosted by Carson Daly; audience voting led to $100,000 grand prize win.
- NBC obtained five pilot videos for only $5,000, using clips from the competition submissions.
The TenderloinsNBCCarson DalyJohn MulaneyMike QYouTubeBirbigliaKroll+4 more
- 4 min
Sal describes the group's process pitching roughly 20 shows, an early deal with Spike TV that went poorly due to inexperience, and their decision afterward to self-fund a pilot to maintain creative control.
10moments
- Tim's guest explains how a $20,000 down payment on shared housing was transformative while waiting for a show deal that never aired.
- They pitched roughly 20 TV shows, sold 4 of them, and filmed about 4 pilot presentations.
- Their first scripted show got offers from both Fox and Spike TV; they chose Spike despite Fox offering more money because it seemed more boutique.
- Working with Spike and an inexperienced production company was a learning experience but not the best one.
- Even with early contest success and agent representation, the group still had full-time jobs while pitching shows.
- Spike gave them $75,000 and asked for a five-to-six-minute pilot presentation, but the production company decided to deliver the full 30 minutes instead.
- By overextending themselves on the Spike pilot, they spread themselves thin, lost quality, put in their own money, and didn't deliver what was asked.
- After learning from the Spike experience, they decided to make another pilot completely on their own for $5,000 using volunteer friends and their own money.
- The DIY pilot got into festivals but didn't get picked up, though they nearly landed a YouTube deal.
- Multiple game show pilots also failed to get picked up, yet surprisingly nobody in the industry held it against them.
Impractical JokersFoxSpikeYouTubeIt's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
- 5 min
Sal reveals he was mortified when the network insisted on the name "Impractical Jokers" (originally pitched as "Mission Uncomfortable"), fearing it sounded demeaning to his comedy peers.
10moments
- Guest was bartending and making good money but had no health insurance, forcing him to think about returning to his finance job.
- The group realized their best idea was to just be themselves and improvise rather than trying to learn how to act.
- They had pitch meetings scheduled a week before they even had an idea for the show.
- Guest hated the name 'Impractical Jokers' when the network insisted on it.
- The original concept was 'Mission Uncomfortable,' where they'd compete doing viewer-submitted challenges from a van narrated by Patrick Stewart.
- Tim refused to do the show if they called it 'Daredevils,' then objected to 'Impractical Jokers' as corny and demeaning.
- Tim ran a bar and hosted a comedy show called Grab-ass from 2008-2011 where he knew Michael Che and other comedians who would hear about his new show's embarrassing title.
- Guest has video of the moment the network forced the Impractical Jokers name on them; he visibly turned green and almost dry heaved.
- Despite initial humiliation, the show became the most successful prank show in history, comparable to Candid Camera.
- Allen Funt created Candid Camera, which was the historical impetus for Impractical Jokers.
Impractical JokersPatrick StewartPrudentialAllen FuntMichael Che
- 4 min
Sal pushes back on the show being labeled a prank or reality show, insisting it's scripted-improvised comedy about friendship, and discusses confidence versus self-doubt among comedians trying to break through.
10moments
- Tim explains the show isn't really a prank show, even though it has prank elements—he didn't want to be pigeonholed as a prankster.
- People judge the show without knowing what it's about or what Tim has done outside of it—stand-up, writing, dozens of other shows.
- Tim rejects the prankster label as reductive; he's a middle-aged man doing comedy, not a YouTube kid slapping people.
- When done really well, prank comedy is an art form Tim appreciates.
- Tim's advice for people trying to get something off the ground: you're not failing enough, and trial and error is essential.
- Young comedians sometimes have more confidence than Tim knows he has, though he questions whether that's actually good for them.
- Tim doubts himself routinely, questions if he's good enough, and flip-flops between feeling he belongs and feeling he doesn't.
- Some young comedians walk into rooms with confidence but nothing to back it up—no body of work or experience yet.
- Tim notes those overly confident types either go very far or nowhere; some confidence is genuine, some is just sociopathy.
- Fraudsters who maintain unshakeable confidence miss the dark nights of self-doubt that actually make you get better and funnier.
- 5 min
Sal explains how the group shifted focus to online video and social media after failed pilots, and discusses ongoing anxiety about life and career after Impractical Jokers eventually ends.
10moments
- Tim pivoted to social media after realizing he was losing prospective fans while working with industry suits on scripted development.
- Sitting in his producer's garage in Los Angeles after the pilot didn't go, Tim decided to make funny sketches online instead.
- Tim admits he experiences anxiety about what comes after the show, despite current success.
- Even when the show got picked up for season one, Tim didn't know how to make television and had to learn while doing it.
- Tim worries that venturing outside the show's format means relearning everything from scratch.
- Tim won't do a comedy special until the show ends so he can dedicate full capacity to it.
- Tim is nervous about not knowing what he'll do after the show and questions whether money has diminished his sense of urgency.
- Financial security makes it less stressful but doesn't kill motivation when you still have unfulfilled goals you're passionate about.
- If you're getting into acting or comedy primarily to be famous and rich, you won't succeed; the hunger has to come from wanting to do something exciting.
- Tim would bet his hard-earned money that someone motivated only by fame and wealth will never actually be successful in entertainment.
- 5 min
Sal talks about staying hungry despite financial security, wanting to support his extended family, and the daily gratitude he feels for his unlikely career success.
10moments
- Tim mentions having a story he can't tell online because it would negatively affect people.
- He took Ben to see The Ferryman and describes one of the actors as looking like a young Brad Pitt.
- The actors in The Ferryman are great but mostly unknown, doing it because they love it rather than for fame.
- Tim says he wakes up every day grateful and can't believe his life happened, unable to miss a day feeling that way.
- He didn't come from money but now gets to support his entire family, which is something he thinks about constantly.
- Tim didn't make money early even with the show, and now at a good place financially, he's saving because he knows the level might not last after his nine-year tenure ends.
- His main reason for wanting to make money was to let his family know they don't have to worry, showing them success was possible.
- You have to love the art otherwise it won't work; success doesn't come easy in this life.
- Tim works all day and night, away two to four weekends a month, sometimes not home for weeks or at 3 a.m. for a week straight.
- Once his girlfriend saw this wasn't him partying or choosing not to be there but putting effort into something he loves, she got on his team and now supports him fully.
- 4 min
Sal discusses the strain unconventional careers put on relationships, recalls meeting Don Rickles who stressed the importance of a supportive partner, and reflects on sacrificing privacy for success.
8moments
- Don Rickles told Tim that having a partner who serves as your backbone—someone who supports your unconventional career without questioning it—was the most important thing in his life.
- Tim argues that when one partner pursues something creative and unconventional, the other person has to genuinely be into it; most partners just pretend.
- Success in an unconventional career comes with the cost of sacrificing privacy, which creates challenges in relationships that people don't anticipate.
- Tim worked as a telemarketer selling copiers in Tottenville while living in Manhattan, commuting via train and ferry for a two-hour journey to reliable office systems.
- The job eventually moved him to a 6th Avenue office where he was pushed into the nine-to-five corporate world with suits and work dinners.
- Tim realized while walking home past a tour bus that he needed to find work that felt free—where he could just stand and talk without being trapped in an office vortex.
- He decided he couldn't be in an office job while trying to build a comedy career and learn what he needed to learn.
- Tim spent only three to four intense months in Staten Island but loved the culture—everyone's Italian, it's mob-adjacent, very family-oriented with regular dinners.
Staten IslandTottenvilleJan Ludes
- 4 min
Sal describes his early telemarketing job selling copiers on Staten Island, his grueling reverse commute, and his affection for Staten Island's character and mom-and-pop culture versus corporate Manhattan.
11moments
- Tim defends Staten Island despite its bad reputation, explaining the stigma exists for reasons but the island shaped who he is.
- The ferry ride to Staten Island is free and charming, with guys sitting outside watching the Statue of Liberty go back and forth in spring and summer.
- Tim dislikes when people trash Staten Island without acknowledging the good parts—he wants balanced takes, not blanket dismissal.
- Sam's show is a hidden camera series about friends, not a prank show, though people call it that because it's non-union and gets lumped in with reality TV.
- Reality shows are contrived productions hunting for viral soundbites and viral moments, which is not what their show is.
- Staten Island has some of the best, most salt-of-the-earth people he's met, including lifelong friends and family.
- Train cars through Staten Island take you through beautiful suburban areas you wouldn't know were on the island.
- Manhattan is too corporate now and has lost the character that made New York great—mom-and-pop stores and neighborhood diners are gone.
- Queens, Brooklyn, and Staten Island still have the people and character that defined New York, unlike the $300-per-head sushi places in Manhattan neighborhoods.
- He and his collaborators are closer than ever because they spend 24/7 together legitimately, and picking people you can spend time with is crucial.
- Despite disagreements and occasional blowouts, the group functions as a democracy because they have to and they have each other.
- 1 min
Sal describes how the Impractical Jokers cast has grown closer through constant collaboration and the daily grind of making business and creative decisions as a democracy.
3moments
- Tim and his team make anywhere from one to 100 decisions a day collectively.
- Hitting stalemates is still a challenge despite learning to navigate the decision-making process.
- Many people constantly get in their own way through subconscious fear of success or failure and self-sabotage.
- 3 min
Sal argues nobody is ever truly ready for success, reflects on his relatively late break, and discusses how younger generations now chase global online clout in a way his generation didn't.
6moments
- Tim on readiness: nobody thinks they're ready, but you have to be ready whether you like it or not and do your best.
- He got success relatively late in life after accumulating failures, unlike young YouTube kids in LA making millions at 23.
- Younger people now are raised with the Internet differently than television—saturated with global opinions and information constantly.
- Success is now equated with likes, friends, and retweets; kids are chasing clout globally rather than just locally in their neighborhood.
- The questioner worries about comedy's future: comics are selling t-shirts before they have an act, prioritizing marketing over craft.
- Tim asked if he worries that the emphasis on fast content production and visibility might damage the future of art in general.
- 4 min
Sal and Tim discuss the current art world's saturation, using the viral banana-taped-to-a-wall art piece as an example, and argue that endless online content has lowered the bar for what young people accept as quality.
7moments
- Someone duct-taped a banana to a wall and then ate it—commentary on absurdist art and its validity
- The internet flooded with low-quality content creators and aspiring comedians, saturating the space beyond early YouTube's gold-rush era
- Tim argues we now have an epidemic of content saturation where the sheer volume makes it impossible for audiences to find quality material
- Young people are accepting low-quality content as the baseline, redefining what counts as acceptable quality and outnumbering the older generation
- Billions of teenagers on camera jump-cutting, twirling hair, and doing absurd stunts are getting massive view counts that corporations cannot ignore
- Even successful people who benefited from the medium should acknowledge that undeserving frauds are also succeeding in this landscape
- The real problem is hive-mind mentality dictating what's entertaining and inspiring based on what goes viral rather than actual merit
Bert KreischerChris Edie
- 1 min
Sal admits he lacks the motivation to constantly self-promote on every platform like TikTok or Snapchat, even though he knows it may hurt him commercially compared to peers like Bert Kreischer.
2moments
- Sal lacks the motivation to maintain TikTok and Snapchat, doing social media only half-assed despite knowing it hurts his career.
- Tim notes it's sad when mid-forties comics have to rely on social media content for ticket sales, but Sal says it's fine if they do it well.
- 6 min
Sal and Tim discuss the importance of being honest with aspiring comedians who aren't going to make it, emphasizing self-awareness, having a real plan, and not blindly encouraging everyone to keep going.
11moments
- Tim argues that friends need to tell each other when they're going to fail, even if it's harsh.
- The two main lessons: you're going to fail personally, and you should tell others they're going to fail too.
- Tim criticizes online motivational speakers for treating inspiration as entertainment rather than realistic assessment of outcomes.
- Some people are naturally funny while others work hard to learn comedy and become great at it.
- Tim explains how to tell a struggling friend the truth: acknowledge their talent but address whether their approach will actually work.
- Getting on stage is just the start—comedians need a real plan, daily practice, and measurable progress to succeed.
- Most people aren't funny, and building a comedy career is objectively very difficult and not easy.
- Young comics often become too aggressive and in-your-face in pursuit of opportunities, forgetting the human element.
- A guy at the Comedy Cellar approaches Tim claiming to be funny and asking to get on his HBO show immediately.
- The Cellar guy pitches himself aggressively, handing Tim his card and YouTube link unprompted after claiming to play that venue.
- Tim declines and the guy responds by demanding Tim's contact info, pen in hand, leaving voicemails and emails as a follow-up.
- 3 min
Sal recounts an aggressive fan at the Comedy Cellar who cornered him demanding to get on the show and handed over contact info uninvited, contrasting it with the value of making natural, organic friendships in comedy.
7moments
- Tim warns against breaking into green rooms to pitch yourself for shows.
- His advice: go to comedy clubs, plant yourself there, build genuine friendships with like-minded people.
- You have to surround yourself with people thinking the same way you are to accelerate your comedy career.
- Tim emphasizes knowing who your audience is and what they want from you.
- Sal clarifies he's still young in comedy, still doubts himself, and doesn't claim to have all the answers.
- Tim jokes that he's basically Jerry Seinfeld now, doling out TV advice like an authority.
- Tim notes Sal was more successful than anyone else at the Cellar compared to people like Seinfeld.
- 1 min
Sal and Tim close out plugging Sal's upcoming theater tour, the Impractical Jokers movie release, the new TBS show Misery Index, and Tim's own tour dates before signing off.
3moments
- Sal Vulcano announces a 40-something city tour with Impractical Jokers for next summer.
- Tim notes that Sal's show Misery Index on TBS got picked up for season 2.
- Impractical Jokers movie releases February 21st.
Sal VulcanoImpractical JokersImpractical Jokers: The MovieMisery Index