rant · moment 4 of 12

The Hypothetical Olive Garden Bodyguard Boyfriend

from Complete the Trip · #20

Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.

4 min

An extended hypothetical builds out a scenario where Shannon's tough boyfriend defends her honor at an Olive Garden after a busboy bumps into them, escalating into stories about half-nelsons and violence.

In this bit9 moments
  • 6:03Getting the wrong look from someone can spark unnecessary conflict in certain neighborhoods.
  • 6:19Tim describes a chain reaction of mania where one person's aggression spreads to others.
  • 6:37Growing up in Bensonhurst meant you could get into trouble just for accidentally looking at someone's girlfriend.
  • 7:02Making casual eye contact in the wrong place results in getting beaten and robbed.
  • 7:41The guest tends to date larger, muscular men, most of whom have used steroids or enhancement drugs.
  • 8:14A blind date setup with an average-sized, reasonable man prompts the guest to dismiss him as a scrawny rat.
  • 8:53Tim's scenario: the average guy at Olive Garden needs to prove himself by violently defending her if someone bumps into her.
  • 9:17The guest clarifies she'd want him to react if someone grabbed her ass, but only in that specific situation.
  • 9:32She once dated a man who works in the prison system and put a guy in a half nelson during a night out.
Mentioned here

Olive GardenBrooklynWilliamsburgBensonhurstBrownsvilleSuffolk County

All 12 moments in this episode →