rant · moment 12 of 19

City vs. Suburbs, LA vs. New Jersey, Jappy Girls

from Jessica Kirson & The Revenge Of The Basic | The Tim Dillon Show #387 · #387

4 min

Tim and Jessica compare living in the suburbs vs. NYC vs. LA, joking about Long Islanders vs. New Jersey, Persian LA culture, and needing a big apartment now that he's older.

In this bit8 moments
  • Tim grew up in New Jersey, identifies as a New Yorker in his blood, and distinguishes himself from Long Islanders, who he says can transition to LA while he cannot.
  • The culture of jappy girls and jappy guys trying to be rich despite being Catholic and poor in Jersey mirrors what exists in LA, just with Persian people instead.
  • Whitney Cummings always promises mega celebrities at her house but it's invariably just Melissa Etheridge, and Tim eats her out to satisfy himself because the hired chef's food is terrible.
  • Wealthy LA people at a certain price point eat through a needle—they consume almost nothing.
  • Tim's ideal living situation is an inner-ring suburb close to the city where you can do what you want.
  • Moving back to the city would require a big apartment; he lived in a tiny room while overweight and sometimes had to scissor his way out.
  • Real estate prices don't bear any resemblance to reality and don't match actual incomes, which reveals the market is driven by laundered money and foreign oligarchs.
  • A $14 million second home beach house in Malibu that no one lives in year-round exemplifies how tiny groups of rich people own everything.
Mentioned here

Whitney CummingsLos AngelesNew JerseyMelissa ArridSouth Orange

All 19 moments in this episode →