rant · moment 9 of 18
Cell Phone Plan Talk Ruins the Sectional, and Ronnie's Prison Update
from A Time Gone By with H. Foley & Kevin Ryan | The Tim Dillon Show #364 · #364
6 min
Tim riffs on family gatherings devolving into boring cell-phone-plan talk, envies families with an incarcerated member to gossip about, and tells a long story about a stranger at his mother's funeral bringing up her old flame's son Jimmy who's hospitalized and 'trying,' fishing for a room in the Hamptons.
- Sitting on a sectional discussing cell phone service and family plans kills all meaning.
- Christmas with a divorced family means sitting next to strangers you've never met.
- His stepmother's sister-in-law Libby makes shrimp scampi with garlic powder instead of fresh cloves.
- Tim envies families with someone in prison—at least it's a real topic instead of traffic talk.
- At his mother's funeral, a guy approaches and says he dated his mother back in the day.
- Jimmy tells Tim his son James is in the hospital with drug and mental health problems.
- Jimmy's exact words: 'He's in the hospital right now but if he tries we'll try.'
- Jimmy then asks if Tim owns property in the Hamptons—his son might need a room when he gets out.
- Another funeral guest calls the death a 'blessing in disguise' because of the inheritance payout.
- Long Island Boomers inherit their parents' houses and immediately complain about the taxes owed on them.