rant · moment 19 of 26
Shipping the Furniture to Long Island
from #295 - A Serene Retreat | The Tim Dillon Show · #295
3 min
Tim decides to strip the Austin house of its nice furniture and ship it to his new Long Island house, turning the Austin property into a bare-bones pig pen while singing a mock jingle about the Airbnb.
- Tim explains shipping furniture to his new Long Island house will cost a lot of money.
- Tim proposes converting the house into an adult Chuck E. Cheese filled with beanbag chairs, inflatable furniture, and outdoor paint for walls.
- The plan evolves into a Dave and Buster's for overweight women stocked with vibrators and Cadbury cream eggs.
- Tim describes guests sitting in the backyard eating popcorn while using dildos and watching interracial stepdad porn.
- Everything they bought works even better in the Hamptons because of the nautical vibe.
- Tim has been calling a local realtor to list the property, then changing his mind every few hours while smoking cigars.
- Tim decides to ship all the furniture and bring these pigs home.
- Tim launches into a song offering wine, food, and CVS chocolates from Belgium to the guests.
- Tim insists this is the move and thanks Sam for the idea.