Episode 273 · The Ben Avery Era
Classic tier — a personal pick, not a popularity ranking#273 - Snap, Kapital, Pop | The Tim Dillon Show
Oct 17, 2021 · 1:17:00 · 715,000 views · 29 segments, 167 moments indexed
Tim covers it all this week from the Kellogg cereal strike, to a cell of serial killers across the United States.
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- 2 min
Dave Chappelle Netflix Controversy and Ted Sarandos
#Tim discusses the ongoing controversy over Dave Chappelle's Netflix special and the employee walkout, joking about Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos being Greek and defending the special as not causing real world harm.
5moments
- Dave Chappelle's Netflix special has consumed media attention despite more pressing issues like rising prices, homelessness, and government dysfunction.
- Netflix employees staged a walkout over the special, which Tim admits he hasn't fully watched.
- Tim on the special: Chappelle isn't saying anything the vast majority of people don't already believe about men and women.
- CEO Ted Sarandos is Greek, and there aren't many successful Greek people—mostly diner owners and a couple of celebrities like John Stamos and Tom Hanks.
- Sarandos defended Chappelle by saying Netflix will air content viewers may dislike and that it won't lead to real-world violence against trans people.
- 2 min
Tim reads and mocks Hannah Gadsby's angry statement to Ted Sarandos about being dragged into the Chappelle controversy, riffing on her confused, disconnected demeanor.
6moments
- Netflix chief Ted Sarandos defended the Chappelle special by claiming content doesn't directly translate to real world harm.
- Tim describes Hannah Gadsby as neurodivergent and vague, comparing her to a fuzzy photograph.
- Gadsby responded to Sarandos saying she doesn't want her name dragged into the mess and blames Chappelle's fans for the hate she receives.
- Gadsby told Sarandos "fuck you in your amoral algorithm cult" and claimed she can do more shits with more backbone than him.
- Tim notes that Gadsby followed up with "that's just a joke" immediately after the heated response.
- Tim and his guest discover Gadsby is trans, neither having been aware of this fact.
Hannah GadsbyDave ChappelleNetflixTed SarandosGreta Thunberg
- 1 min
Stop Watching Comedy Specials
#A short riff telling listeners to stop watching comedy specials and get a life, except for this show.
2moments
- Tim's message to people watching comedy specials: stop watching them and get a life instead.
- People are doing cool things on the planet; watching someone talk for an hour is a waste.
- 5 min
Tim reacts to a Seattle elementary school canceling its Halloween parade over claims it marginalizes students of color, then tells a long story about a poor, neglected childhood classmate named Ryan who wore a pumpkin mask for the parade.
10moments
- Seattle elementary school cancels its annual Halloween pumpkin parade, claiming it marginalizes students of color who don't celebrate Halloween.
- Tim questions whether African-American boys actually avoid Halloween, noting he's never heard of this before.
- School justifies removing the parade and costumes around 'foundational beliefs around equity,' citing that some kids lack money for costumes.
- Tim introduces Ryan, a dirty, neglected Irish kid from his school who would show up filthy and malnourished to Halloween parades.
- Teachers gave Ryan a plastic pumpkin mask so he could participate in the parade despite his poverty and home situation.
- Tim argues that canceling the parade doesn't actually help kids like Ryan—his parents don't care, and his life remains unchanged.
- Tim visits Ryan's house and describes the conditions: cereal, cigarette ashtrays overflowing, a genuinely difficult childhood.
- The Halloween parade included kids with expensive costumes like Freddy Krueger masks alongside poorer students with minimal options.
- A 600-pound girl named Jenna was dressed as a princess and walked the parade with a characteristic head gesture she did daily.
- Ryan with his small pumpkin mask and the other kids of varying circumstances all participating together made for a nice day.
Benjamin Franklin Day Elementary SchoolSeattle
- 2 min
Halloween is Good, Actually
#Tim argues Halloween is really about candy and vandalism and that canceling it over noise complaints and costume costs is absurd, though he concedes the noise complaint has a point.
5moments
- Halloween is about eating candy and vandalizing things—a beautiful idea.
- Tim traces the pipeline from Halloween vandalism to antifa: eggs and shaving cream lead to federal banks in Portland.
- Schools canceled Halloween because kids without costumes would be upset—his solution: just buy them costumes.
- Loud noise and crowds trigger some children, which Tim agrees is a legitimate problem worth skipping the event over.
- Country is in bad shape: inflation is so severe a single McGriddle now costs $38.
- 2 min
Tim reacts to inflation news and plays/mocks a viral interview clip of a woman outside a grocery store complaining about meat prices and describing her husband physically "mushing" her over a salad.
4moments
- Tim on government dismissing inflation complaints as Nazi rhetoric while prices skyrocket on food and gas.
- Woman interviewed outside grocery store describes meat prices as 'sky high' and details her family's weekly consumption.
- Woman recounts husband grabbing and pushing her face into wall when she made salad instead of meat dinner.
- Tim notes the absurdity of the interview taking place outside Market Basket and the genuine hardship of unaffordable groceries.
inflationsupply chainsMarket Basket
- 3 min
Tim covers the Kellogg's worker strike, mocking the company's spokesperson Chris Bonner and her tone-deaf corporate statement about valuing employees during a pandemic.
6moments
- Workers striking at Kellogg's now have more leverage due to labor shortages, demanding benefits, retirement packages, and days off.
- Kellogg's essentially tells workers to go to Mexico, then denies saying it.
- Tim describes Kellogg's corporate video response as telling workers to keep their mouth shut.
- Company sends out Chris Bonner, a spokesperson, to soften the message instead of someone like Mr. Kellogg himself.
- Kellogg's is trying to retain what Tim calls slave labor while claiming to value all their employees.
- Despite billions in resources, Kellogg's couldn't find anyone more effective than this particular spokesperson to represent them.
Kellogg CompanyChris Bonner
- 4 min
The Fake Kellogg's Contract Terms
#Tim invents absurd, dystopian details about the supposed Kellogg's labor contract, including catheters, supervised bathroom breaks, and a company 'resort' vacation that's actually more work.
5moments
- Kellogg's contract allows bathroom use twice a week
- Number one requires a catheter and colostomy bag while working
- Vacation at a Kellogg's-approved facility means working eight-hour days instead of sixteen
- Resort amenities include Frosted Mini Wheats for children and Kellogg's history on the walls
- Employees get one hour to take sick children to the doctor or forfeit weekly pay
Kellogg'sGeneral Mills
- 3 min
Tim reads more of the spokesperson's statement claiming average Kellogg's cereal employees earn $120,000 a year with free healthcare, and mocks the obvious statistical dishonesty.
6moments
- Union struck without allowing members to vote on Kellogg's October 1st offer
- Kellogg's claimed nine percent wage increase for legacy employees and pathway to full rate for transitional workers
- One week paid time off at vacation rate is the total PTO being offered
- Kellogg's claims average 2020 earnings for hourly cereal employees was $120,000 per year
- Tim calls the $120k claim a complete lie, noting they're averaging lifetime employees with newer workers
- There's no way factory workers in Kansas are making $120k a year and striking over these offers simultaneously
Kellogg'sunion
- 3 min
Tim looks for real footage of striking Kellogg's workers and plays a local news report about the strike, union grievances, and a striker describing working eight days a week without a day off.
5moments
- Tim questions why Kellogg's is offering such generous benefits—free healthcare, $120k salary—if the company is supposedly acting in bad faith.
- Tim jokes about what a Kellogg's employee video might look like: Vietnam veterans in wheelchairs bleeding and screaming about Rice Krispie Treats.
- News segment explains the strike: union voted to walk after five-year contract expired, citing elimination of cost-of-living adjustments and creation of permanent positions without full-time benefits.
- Strike leader describes working eight days a week for months without a scheduled day off, some employees going an entire year without a day off.
- Tim mocks the strikers' claim that they want to see their kids, calling them lazy and asking what happens if someone wants cereal.
Kellogg'sunions
- 3 min
Communist Cereal Mascots Fantasy
#Tim riffs on the morality of the cereal strike and fantasizes about turning Kellogg's mascots like Tony the Tiger and Toucan Sam into communist revolutionaries killing executives.
9moments
- Tim criticizes Kellogg's workers for striking when people need their frosted mini-wheats.
- Viral image of a Kellogg's worker picketing at 3 a.m. in a storm gets compared to drone-strike propaganda.
- Tim enjoys the Tony the Tiger 'I'm greedy' picket sign and imagines communist versions of cereal mascots.
- Mini Wheats should be dressed as Joseph Stalin with a hammer and sickle.
- Rice Krispies elves should be depicted killing and cutting the throats of executives.
- Toucan Sam should have his arm around Mao Zedong in protest artwork.
- Tim admits he doesn't care about the actual picketers, but would be interested if the mascots got involved in revolutionary violence.
- If there was artwork of cereal mascots killing executives and burning their houses, Tim would get more on board with the strike.
- Tim imagines finding a nice picture of Stalin and turning the Raisin Bran sun into Stalin.
Kellogg'sTony the Tigercereal mascots and labor
- 2 min
A BetterHelp sponsor read done as a rhyming poem about being sad, mad, bad, or a pedophile, urging listeners to try online therapy.
5moments
- Better Help connects people in therapy deserts to licensed professionals in under 48 hours, and you can switch counselors if you don't like the first one.
- Tim raps through various emotional states set to a rhyme scheme: sad, mad, bad; upset, bereft; tense, on the fence.
- The bit escalates to absurd scenarios—wanting to be a dancer, having late stage cancer, having a dead pet, or being a pedophile—all reasons to go to BetterHelp.
- Tim warns the editor not to cut out the previous line or he'll fire them, insisting the bit stay in to help BetterHelp's business.
- Over one million people have used BetterHelp; the service is recruiting counselors in all 50 states due to demand.
- 1 min
A Sheath Underwear ad that turns into a story about the company's trans founder who transitioned during the Iraq War, undercut by a dark joke about violence.
2moments
- Sheath Underwear founder was a trans military veteran who transitioned while serving in Iraq.
- Tim jokes about the founder being one of the first trans people to shoot a 12-year-old in the head.
- 4 min
Tim frames a news story about first responders rescuing a flood victim (and a puppy) near a homeless encampment on the Blanco River as a heartwarming tale, while noting the darker context of homeless people being swept away.
8moments
- Austin is the epicenter of comedy in America, funny from the moment you land until you leave.
- Tim notes even the shootings and street attacks in Austin are funny.
- The Kellogg's company going to war with cereal makers, an unexpected conflict Tim didn't know existed.
- This is a light, fluffy feel-good story without the darkness usually present on the show.
- Body cam video shows Star Flight senior flight nurse Jennifer Roberts rescuing Frank Fell from a swollen Blanco River in San Marcos.
- Storm waters rushed the Blanco River, washing away the homeless encampments living on the riverbed.
- Tim redirects focus from what happened to the other homeless people to the rescue of Frank Fell by first responders.
- Tim questions what kind of feel-good story celebrates one homeless person being rescued while others are washed away by the river.
AustinJennifer RobertsStar Flighthomelessness in AustinKellogg'sBlanco River
- 4 min
Tim continues dissecting the flood rescue story, dismayed to learn the rescued homeless people were simply relocated back under a highway bridge.
9moments
- Helicopter crew discovers the flood rescue involves not just four people but four people with important belongings, a dog, and a puppy.
- Tim's enthusiasm about the rescue in Austin, Texas and how bringing a puppy by the river worked out.
- Tim hesitates to ask what happens to the rescued people next, worried the answer will ruin the good feeling.
- The rescued homeless were returned to a new camp under the Highway 80 bridge—where they started.
- Tim processes the irony: people rescued from a flood and returned directly back under the bridge.
- Tim questions whether putting them back under the bridge is actually a solution or if it'll just keep happening.
- This is a modern feel-good story: homeless people saved from a flood, returned to their bridge camp, genuinely thankful.
- The rescue worker expresses gratitude they survived, only to be deposited back under the bridge.
- The helicopter crew gets barely a moment to reflect before the next call for help comes in.
Austinhomelessness and poverty
- 5 min
Austin After Dark and the Realtor Saga
#Tim transitions into discussing Austin's dangerous nightlife segment 'Austin After Hours,' interrupted by a rant about their incompetent business manager and a bumbling realtor who wasted their time on unavailable office space.
9moments
- Austin After Dark is a new crime segment showing the city devolves into violence after 8 p.m.
- Tim's realtor kept announcing his wife was having a baby instead of showing office space properly.
- The realtor asked if Tim was single, treating a commercial space showing like a frat party.
- After Tim agreed to take the unit, the realtor said it wasn't available—wasting everyone's time.
- Showing office space in LA is the lowest position in real estate; real money is in residential.
- Tim blames his business manager for connecting him with incompetent deadbeats instead of decent professionals.
- Austin After Hours police patrol shows increased violent crime in entertainment districts on weekend nights.
- People are realizing Austin isn't fun, they're drugged up and angry, and with guns they turn violent.
- Tim predicts Austin will descend into chaos as visitors get high, armed, and disappointed with the city.
- 2 min
Tim plays and reacts to a local news report detailing shootings and violent crime around Austin's Sixth Street entertainment district after bar hours.
4moments
- A 17-year-old died after police say a gun battle broke out between two groups during a bachelor party with thousands gathered on Sixth Street.
- Officer told the reporter two hours before the shooting that based on crowd size, he expected a happy night with only a few disturbances.
- One bar, Tellers, generated 47 crime reports in 2021 alone—more than the previous three years combined—tied to assaults, robberies, and shootings.
- Tim's assessment: the city is always on the brink of exploding in gunfire every night.
- 3 min
Blaming His Wife for Moving to Texas
#A bit arguing with his wife/producer about being tricked into moving to Texas because of Joe Rogan, including jokes about her family's wedding culture on Long Island versus Texas.
6moments
- Tim accuses his wife of hoodwinking him about moving to Texas, claiming she secretly got excited to go back because it's her culture, not his.
- Sheriffs worked his wife's wedding to make sure people didn't drink too much — something Tim says is completely outside his culture.
- Tim describes people who want to return to Texas as animals, though he acknowledges part of him wanted to go back to Long Island.
- At his wife's wedding, her sister gave birth during the reception and the newborn immediately started eating ribs — an event that made Tim deeply uncomfortable and no one else seemed to care.
- His wife moved the family to Texas after listening to Joe Rogan, claiming it would be good for Tim's comedy career at Rogan's new club.
- Tim jokes that it would be funny if Rogan's comedy club was just called Vaccines.
- 1 min
A straightforward sponsor read for ShipStation, promoting shipping management software for online businesses with a 60-day free trial offer.
3moments
- Tim pitches ShipStation as essential for online businesses, consolidating orders into one interface manageable from anywhere.
- ShipStation gives small businesses access to carrier rates normally reserved for Fortune 500 companies without contracts or commitments.
- Use offer code 'tim dillon' for a 60-day free trial at shipstation.com to free yourself from shipping logistics and focus on sales and marketing.
- 1 min
A sponsor read for Raycon earbuds touting battery life, sound modes, and a discount code.
3moments
- Tim endorses Raycon earbuds as better than Apple's products, cheaper but superior in sound and feel.
- Raycon offers six hours of playtime with multiple sound modes—pure, balance, and bass—plus noise cancellation and ambient sound awareness.
- Raycon started at half the price of premium audio brands while matching or exceeding their sound quality.
- 5 min
An extended riff/ad segment praising Steve Will Do It and the Nelk Boys as philanthropists and lifestyle icons, joking about their partying antics, David Dobrik's Tesla gift, and Happy Dad seltzer.
10moments
- Tim eats Raycon earphones as snacks in addition to listening to them
- Steve Will Do It and Takashi 6ix9ine are philanthropists who give money to people
- Nelk is a group of pranksters that tell college students to party, drink, and jump off roofs
- Steve's Happy Dad energy drink is available in Florida, Nevada, California, and Massachusetts—the states most likely to produce paralyzed people after a night out
- Steve makes money from gambling, Bitcoin, or something he does in Mexico, possibly AIDS testing
- Steve drinks a fishtank of booze and makes it rain in cancer wards with full sent hoodies for bald kids
- Steve gave David Dobrik a Tesla because Dobrik was at a rough time after his parachute stunt
- Nelk boys are teaching young people that life is about getting drunk, using drugs, having sex, and partying
- There's something beautiful about the Nelk brand as a way to live your life, though you eventually have to stop because you're going to die
- Steve Will Do It is a fan of the show but chose not to show up to one dinner Tim had with Nelk
David DobrikSteve Will Do ItNELKRayconFull SendHappy DadTakashi 69
- 5 min
An extended riff/ad segment praising Steve Will Do It and the Nelk Boys as philanthropists and lifestyle icons, joking about their partying antics, David Dobrik's Tesla gift, and Happy Dad seltzer.
10moments
- Tim eats Raycon earphones as snacks in addition to listening to them
- Steve Will Do It and Takashi 6ix9ine are philanthropists who give money to people
- Nelk is a group of pranksters that tell college students to party, drink, and jump off roofs
- Steve's Happy Dad energy drink is available in Florida, Nevada, California, and Massachusetts—the states most likely to produce paralyzed people after a night out
- Steve makes money from gambling, Bitcoin, or something he does in Mexico, possibly AIDS testing
- Steve drinks a fishtank of booze and makes it rain in cancer wards with full sent hoodies for bald kids
- Steve gave David Dobrik a Tesla because Dobrik was at a rough time after his parachute stunt
- Nelk boys are teaching young people that life is about getting drunk, using drugs, having sex, and partying
- There's something beautiful about the Nelk brand as a way to live your life, though you eventually have to stop because you're going to die
- Steve Will Do It is a fan of the show but chose not to show up to one dinner Tim had with Nelk
David DobrikSteve Will Do ItNELKRayconFull SendHappy DadTakashi 69
- 1 min
The Nelk Philosophy as Old School Christianity
#Tim continues riffing that the Nelk boys' reckless, forgiving lifestyle philosophy resembles old school Christianity, and jokes about college guys wanting to talk to Steve Will Do It.
4moments
- Tim explains the Nelk philosophy: not caring where your shoe is, that failure doesn't matter, and dismissing anyone who tries to help you succeed.
- The philosophy extends to beating up your academic advisor if he tells you to use your money responsibly.
- Even a doctor telling you that you have liver cancer doesn't matter—sometimes people throw up blood and it's just part of life.
- Tim calls this a decent philosophy on life: fuck your mom, fuck the cops, and you can drive seven beers deep to another bar because you can handle it.
- 2 min
Why the Smiley Face Killer Episode Got Scrapped
#Tim explains they interviewed a mentally unwell academic about the Smiley Face Killer theory and decided not to release the episode because the guest was incoherent and unreliable.
5moments
- College guys constantly ask Tim to get them FaceTime with Steve Will Do It because that's all they want in life.
- The smiley face killer episode is being scrapped after they interviewed an academic who turned out to be mentally unwell.
- Kids are probably getting thrown into rivers, but the people investigating since 2006 are all frauds.
- The academic offered to have Tim speak to his girlfriend who claims she has the gift of prophecy.
- The whole interview was a huge waste of time in some horrible town.
- 4 min
Tim plays actual audio clips from the scrapped interview with the confused academic investigator, mocking his vague and rambling answers about the killer's motive.
7moments
- The smiley face killer theory: young athletic college-aged males end up in rivers, possibly murdered by a cult rather than accidental drownings.
- Tim and crew interviewed an old man working the case who claimed to predict where victims would be found and withdraw ATM money every three hours to avoid suspicion.
- When Tim asked the detective about motive, he refused to release it, claiming it would cause copycat killings—a rationale Tim found absurd.
- Tim's theory: the detectives fill grieving families with false hope, extract money from them, then use it to buy Chinese food while doing no actual investigating.
- The Oxygen Network made a show exploiting the deaths of these drowning victims with three detectives who have no real leads and are just eating egg rolls in New York.
- Alice also made a horrible movie about the smiley face killers; that director previously rejected Tim's podcast offer, claiming Tim could appear on his instead despite having only 3,000 patrons.
- After American Psycho, Alice's filmography has been mostly garbage.
smiley face killersOxygen NetworkAmerican Psycho
- 9 min
Tim plays and eviscerates the trailer for an Oxygen Network true-crime show featuring retired NYPD detectives investigating the Smiley Face Killer theory, calling out their lack of actual leads and exploitation of grieving parents.
12moments
- Tim describes the Oxygen Network show where three detectives claim to investigate the smiley face killer, comparing it to Teresa Caputo's fake medium act exploiting grieving parents.
- The show presents shady drowning circumstances and the detectives' investigation spanning 12 years with no actual suspects or evidence, only a TV deal.
- Tim argues the detectives have been working since 2006 with nothing to show except a book and TV show, prioritizing their careers over solving the crime.
- One of the detectives is facing sexual assault charges, and Oxygen eventually parted ways with the group, but Tim mocks their continued pestering of parents.
- Tim performs the detectives' pitch to grieving parents: "Have you heard of television? We're going to be on TV together. You look at the camera and cry."
- He compares the situation to repeatedly showing up at missing children's cases with a podcast and no actual leads, bringing a goon squad to figure it out.
- The show's first episode features the detectives eating bacon and eggs at a greasy spoon diner while discussing murdered children—a food network-style production.
- Tim acknowledges suspicious drownings may be real and connects them to broader conspiracies like Epstein and Johnny Gosh, but not dismissing the premise.
- Imagine your dead son—a college guy—and three sausage heroes show up at your house promising a TV show will crack the case wide open; these meatballs now control your son's justice.
- If the smiley face killer is actually real, they're fine and facing no problems because the brain trust assembled to stop them is so incompetent.
- One of the retired NYPD detectives introduces himself as Mike Donovan, claiming to be devoted to the smiley face investigation but having no results.
- Tim notes that even Jeffrey Epstein eventually got arrested, implying the three retired detectives have accomplished even less.
smiley face killersTeresa CaputoOxygenJeffrey EpsteinLindsay LohanDr. PhilLaurel Canyon
- 1 min
Epstein Got Arrested, So Can They
#A short closing riff on the smiley face killer topic, noting that even Jeffrey Epstein got arrested so surely someone could catch a real culprit if one exists.
1moment
- Epstein got arrested, so the powerful can be arrested too.
- 1 min
Tim runs through the full list of upcoming tour cities and mentions plans to tape an hour special in January.
3moments
- Tim proposes charging fans a scalper fee for tickets, which he notes no one actually pays scalpers.
- The Toronto and Ontario shows are at a 3000-seat theater selling well, particularly the New Year's Eve performance.
- Tim plans to tape an hour of new material sometime in January and shop it around for release.
- 1 min
Studio Search Frustration and Sign Off
#Closing riff about being stuck recording in a cramped shared studio with TikTokers, frustration over the stalled search for a new studio, and banter about wrapping up the show.
3moments
- Tim complains about being stuck in a TikTok studio with fifteen-year-olds while searching for a new space.
- Back to step one after a month of progress — still looking for a realtor instead of an actual studio.
- Ben suggests Tim and his wife spend less time in Texas and more time getting the studio built.