Episode 271 · The Ben Avery Era
#271 - The Many Taints of Newark | The Tim Dillon Show
Oct 3, 2021 · 57:43 · 524,000 views · 13 segments, 87 moments indexed
Tim finally reveals he was up for a part in The Many Saints of Newark, rehashes a twitter beef he had this week, tries to wrap his head around a new show starring an Afghani Translator on CBS, and why exactly big directors are casting the…
Watch on YouTubeDiscuss on Reddit
- 1 min
Cold Open: Excited to Be With You
#Tim opens the show with brief pleasantries before pivoting into what he wants to discuss.
1moment
- Tim opens the show with his standard greeting, noting that a lot is happening and not happening as always.
- 12 min
The Many Saints of Newark's Shocking Gay Tony Soprano Storyline
#Tim describes his surprise at the sexuality-focused plot of the Sopranos prequel, then performs a fake improvised script reading with his co-host acting out an absurd Tony Soprano gay romance scene set at a basketball court and church.
17moments
- Tim saw The Many Saints of Newark and found the direction weird.
- The prequel's central plot hinges on young Tony Soprano being gay and hiding his sexuality.
- Tony has explicit sex scenes in the film as the receptive partner with men.
- The Sopranos never suggested Tony was gay, making this retcon strange despite appreciating gay cinema.
- Tim was asked to audition and received the script, planning to read an actual scene.
- The scene's description: Tony, a sexually confused young man, explores gender and sexuality with older men.
- Tim reads the basketball court scene where Tony watches a shirtless Black man play while eating ice cream.
- In the scene, Tony asks if Black men have larger genitals, then propositions the man to have sex in a church.
- They have sex in an empty church where the man penetrates Tony, who discusses wanting oral sex.
- The man suggests felching, describing a sex act in explicit detail, and Tony responds with interest.
- James Damore from Google got angry at Tim for criticizing his AI art as objectively bad.
- Damore used Tim's sunburned photo in a meme, claiming the AI inputs were gay Chris Farley.
- Tim defended Damore when he was fired from Google for a memo suggesting women should be put in bags and vans.
- Lil Nas X's cover of Jolene is bad, and people can't be honest about it because of identity appeal.
- Lil Nas X is good-looking and knows his brand, but his actual vocals aren't good and the provocation replaces the music.
- Lady Gaga does outlandish things in addition to being talented, unlike artists who do shock instead of music.
- People get angry when told that bad art is objectively terrible, claiming it's insulting rather than honest criticism.
The Many Saints of NewarkJoey DiazTony SopranoJames DamoreLil Nas XThe SopranosDavid ChaseGoogle+2 more
- 1 min
Tim reads a sponsor segment for SimpliSafe's new wireless outdoor security cameras, describing features like night vision and zoom.
2moments
- Tim endorses SimpliSafe as essential home security.
- He references a stalker incident as justification for installing the cameras.
- 2 min
Tim promotes CrowdHealth as an alternative to traditional health insurance, describing its app and cost-saving features.
2moments
- Tim explains CrowdHealth as a community-powered alternative to broken government health insurance, where members share costs instead of paying insurance middlemen.
- CrowdHealth members can scan medical bills and the app handles negotiation, while also offering virtual care and access to any doctor ranked by user reviews.
- 5 min
James Damore's AI Art and Lil Nas X's Jolene Cover
#Tim recounts a Twitter feud with fired Google engineer James Damore over bad AI art, then pivots to criticizing Lil Nas X's vocal talent versus his image and marketing tricks.
9moments
- The United States of Al rewrote its season 2 premiere to offer a powerful reaction to the Afghanistan situation.
- The lead actor is Indian and from South Africa, not Afghan, but plays an Afghan interpreter on the show.
- Tim questions why this show exists at all.
- The premise is a Marine combat veteran and an Afghan interpreter who served together become buddies back in Ohio.
- Tim argues the show's premise essentially validates the Afghanistan war by suggesting it was worth it for the friendship it created.
- Hollywood uses feel-good stories about unlikely friendships to smooth over imperial mistakes and wars that killed people for no reason.
- Tim speculates the show's audience is elderly white people with early-stage dementia who watch CBS.
- The show explains to old viewers why America went to war in Afghanistan while they drool into their mashed potatoes.
- Tim prepares to play the Afghanistan episode from The United States of Al.
The United States of AlAfghanistan warCBS
- 6 min
Tim and his guest mock the CBS sitcom United States of Al for rewriting its season premiere to address the Taliban takeover, reading absurd plot synopses and playing a promo clip.
8moments
- Tim describes the Afghanistan evacuation scene CBS rewrote into the season premiere, with the character pretending to talk to family desperately trying to escape.
- When painful things happen, people try to make them into art, but this is happening immediately and in the most grotesque way imaginable—rewriting a sitcom to deliver a powerful message about an active crisis.
- Tim asks whether CBS includes the Taliban's perspective in the episode, or if this is just propaganda for the US.
- The Indian actor is locked in the role saying words written on the page, and Tim argues people are mad at the wrong target—they should be mad that the show exists and CBS exists.
- Tim reads the actual synopsis of a real episode: Al fails his driving test because his female instructor is wearing shorts, which he finds religiously offensive.
- CBS is trying to create funny situations around a character whose beliefs are antiquated, but Tim questions who this show is actually for.
- Tim describes another episode where Al attends a party and becomes nervous when women start doing jello shots in their cleavage, testing his religious faith.
- Tim concludes by calling it the worst show in the world.
- 2 min
Tim mocks another CBS show, La Brea, about a family split by a magical sinkhole that leads to a prehistoric land, reading the ridiculous premise aloud.
4moments
- Tim describes La Brea: a show where a sinkhole opens in LA and people fall into a primeval land with dinosaurs.
- This show is supposedly the biggest on TV right now, though Tim argues it has to be canceled and the cast rendered homeless.
- Tim questions whether anything could be stupider than the premise of La Brea.
- The show's formula: a hole opens, everybody falls in, they fight dinosaurs, the dad has hallucinations, and the mystery unlocks in season 4.
- 6 min
Salt Bae's Delusions of Grandeur and Overpriced Steaks
#Tim tears into Salt Bae for claiming to be a childhood inspiration, mocking his restaurant's absurd prices like an $850 steak and riffing on people who go there for spectacle.
11moments
- Salt Bae claims he's becoming an inspiration to millions of children who now want to be butchers because of him.
- Tim corrects Salt Bae: he's an inspiration to absolutely no one, and his entire fame comes from one viral video of salting meat.
- At his restaurants, Salt Bae walks around with a sword, which Tim describes in absurdist detail.
- Tim imagines the surreal experience of unironically going to a Salt Bae restaurant excited about the meal.
- Salt Bae's London restaurant charges $850 for a steak and $15 for a Red Bull.
- Anyone dumb enough to eat at Salt Bae's restaurant should pay thousands of dollars for a steak.
- Flying to Salt Bae's Turkish restaurant is cheaper than eating at his London location.
- Salt Bae's claim about being a popular Halloween costume conflicts with children wanting to be practical things like firemen or princesses, not restaurant tour guides.
- Tim compares Salt Bae to Mario Batali and predicts a scandal will eventually emerge involving cannibal allegations.
- One viral Instagram video is all you need to make money hawking products to morons seeking to feel something before they die.
- Salt Bae's restaurant attracts people who spend their entire time on their phones saying 'Look where we are' instead of actually experiencing anything.
Salt BaeMario Batali
- 3 min
Tim promotes BetterHelp online therapy service, discussing his own experience with a bad therapist and touting the convenience of the service.
3moments
- Tim claims his standards of integrity are the highest when it comes to product placement, citing his involvement with subprime mortgages and office supplies.
- BetterHelp connects users with real therapists online, not a self-help hotline or crisis service.
- Tim admits he had a therapist once and notes that most aren't good, but people using BetterHelp seem very happy with it.
- 3 min
Tim spins into an increasingly graphic and absurd story about beating up an elderly diabetic person who asked about sugar-free scones, before pivoting to promote sugar-free Magic Spoon cereal.
6moments
- Tim describes his conflicted relationship with cereal and sugar, oscillating between loving it and feeling miserable after consumption.
- The happiest people he knows avoid sugar entirely and eat bone marrow instead.
- Someone asked Tim if his pumpkin scone had sugar, and he violently assaulted them for suggesting sugar-free alternatives.
- Tim regrets not telling his victim about Magic Spoon cereal before attacking them.
- He suspects he may have killed the elderly diabetic person but wishes he'd promoted the product instead.
- Magic Spoon recently brought back Cookies and Cream and Maple Waffle flavors permanently.
- 12 min
Nepotism in Hollywood: Gandolfini's Son, Cooper Hoffman, and Chalamet Fatigue
#Tim rants extensively about Hollywood casting dead legends' children (Gandolfini's son, Philip Seymour Hoffman's son) in prestige films, extends the critique to Timothee Chalamet's omnipresence, and connects it to broader hypocrisy about inequality among Hollywood liberals.
11moments
- Tim on James Gandolfini's son and Philip Seymour Hoffman's son Cooper appearing in major films despite nepotism.
- Cooper Hoffman is not a genius—genius skips generations, and struggling actors deserve these opportunities instead.
- Tim questions whether casting is now based on ancestry.com rather than actual talent and merit.
- Stand-up comedy remains a meritocracy where comedians' children don't get free passes, unlike actors.
- Tim has had enough with Wes Anderson and Timothy Chalamet's omnipresence in every movie.
- Chalamet is ruining everything and should stop appearing in films.
- Tim wants to see Christopher Guest cast a movie with Fred Willard's son to expose the hypocrisy.
- If nepotism in Hollywood shouldn't offend people, then nepotism at Goldman Sachs shouldn't either.
- Stop complaining about wealth inequality and presidential dynasties if Hollywood keeps handing roles to dead actors' kids.
- We didn't need The Many Saints of Newark prequel—just like we didn't need El Camino or La Brea.
- Tim's one exception: Michael K. Williams' hypothetical son could have a role.
Timothée ChalametThe SopranosThe Many Saints of NewarkCooper HoffmanHansel and Gretel ElgortWes AndersonJames GandolfiniPhilip Seymour Hoffman+9 more
- 1 min
Tim runs through a long list of upcoming tour cities including Milwaukee, Seattle, Portland, D.C., New York, and more.
3moments
- Ontario, California is one of the biggest dumps in America, but the crowds were phenomenal because they have nothing to live for.
- Tour dates: Milwaukee, Spokane, Seattle, Portland, Indianapolis, Morgantown, Pittsburgh, Washington D.C., New York, Atlantic City, Rochester, Iowa City, Madison, Louisville, Los Angeles, and Bakersfield.
- Tim wants to say something about the Iowa City show but runs out of time.
- 4 min
Feuding With an Iowa City Theater Over a Cancellation Email
#Tim rants angrily about an Iowa City theater sending an apologetic email over booking him, defending his actual statements on vaccines and Black Lives Matter, and mocking Iowa's outsized political importance via the Iowa caucus before signing off.
10moments
- Iowa City theater sent an apology email for booking Tim, claiming audience members were offended by his statements.
- Tim clarifies he never told people not to get vaccinated, only that they should make their own choices.
- Tim addresses the Black Lives Matter accusation: he criticized the organization's leader for buying four houses with funds.
- The theater people are pseudo-intellectual embarrassments living in Iowa, according to Tim.
- Tim is angry about the email and looking for other venues, unsure what he'll do about the show.
- No one is actually mad online—Tim can't find any angry comments on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
- Iowa's only relevance is the Democratic caucus, where politicians pretend to care about corn-fed voters.
- The Iowa caucus requires residents to publicly debate and convince each other instead of a secret ballot.
- Tim is in a one-sided war with the theater, which won't cancel because they need money from ticket sales.
- Despite the conflict, Tim will still perform in Iowa.
IowaIowa City theaterBlack Lives MatterIowa Democratic primaryIowa caucusPete ButtigiegPfizerTamika Mallory