Episode 232 · The Ben Avery Era
#232 - Andrew Schulz | The Tim Dillon Show
with Andrew Schulz
Dec 27, 2020 · 2:04:19 · 1,000,000 views · 49 segments, 292 moments indexed
Tim talks visiting his family in NY for the holidays, an insane request from his cousin, and why it's difficult to do charity work with Ben in Beverly Hills. Then enjoy Andrew Schulz for the full hour.
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- 2 min
Christmas Surprise Visits: Mom in a Mental Institution and Dad's New House
#Tim recounts a socially-distanced holiday trip to New York, surprising his mother in a mental institution through plate glass and visiting his father who bought a new house two blocks from the old one.
4moments
- It's Christmas night, specifically the 26th, the day after Christmas
- Tim just got back from New York City to surprise both parents during a socially distanced, truncated holiday
- Surprising his mother who's in a mental institution, which won't be much of a surprise since she's insane and confused about what day it is
- Tim told his institutionalized mother that Trump lost the election and she felt very bad about it
- 1 min
Ben Gets Called "The Secretary" by Tim's Stepmother
#Tim describes his stepmother repeatedly and passive-aggressively demeaning Ben by calling him Tim's "secretary," needling him about his comedy career.
3moments
- Tim's stepmother repeatedly called Ben "the secretary" despite him being a co-producer who edits all of Tim's content.
- Ben didn't mind the teasing and Tim noticed his stepmother was smiling while doing it.
- Tim argues that people need to be constantly made to feel bad about themselves to stay grounded and avoid becoming a nightmare to the world.
- 3 min
Maleficent Digs at Ben and Tim Over Loneliness and Careers
#Tim details how his stepmother "Maleficent" isolates weaknesses and attacks, asking if Tim gets lonely living alone and telling Ben he's "just a laugh track," while also complaining about her own daughter's friendless life.
8moments
- Tim's father and his wife bought a new house two blocks away during quarantine out of boredom, despite having no money.
- His father tells him the nicest part of their new town is watching kids throw water balloons at fire trucks on the Fourth of July.
- Tim confronts his father about never caring about Americana when he was growing up doing cocaine at thirteen while his father ignored him.
- His father and stepmother have no children of their own but decided their new town was great for raising their dogs.
- The stepmother digs at people by offering backhanded compliments, then isolating and attacking their weaknesses.
- She asks Tim if he gets lonely living alone in his big house, probing for emotional vulnerabilities.
- She turns to Ben and implies he's no longer really a comedian since he works with Tim instead of doing his own comedy.
- Ben becomes sad and agrees with her, saying he's just a laugh track and that's all he does.
Tim's stepmotherBen AveryTim's father
- 1 min
Weaponizing Patreon Money Talk Against His Stepmother
#Tim explains he started bragging about Patreon money specifically because it angers his stepmother, capping off the visit that lasted only ten minutes.
5moments
- Tim's stepmother is lonely because she hasn't lived on Long Island in a decade and her only joy is when Tim and his father take her out to dinner.
- She likes to spread horror and negativity, and Tim responds by deliberately talking about Patreon money because it angers her.
- Ben, who runs their company and does everything, complained to the stepmother that he's "just a laugh track."
- Tim told her he likes being alone, which didn't work on her, so he escalated to bragging about Patreon earnings specifically to anger her.
- The entire visit lasted ten minutes and both Tim and his stepmother left thoroughly insulted.
- 2 min
Divorced Family Christmas: Strangers, Uncles' New Girlfriends, and Kids on Rotation
#Tim riffs on the general horror of blended/divorced family holiday gatherings, not knowing who anyone is anymore, and kids arriving manic from their other family's Christmas.
5moments
- Holidays are different for divorced families sitting in rooms with strangers, multiple bankruptcies, and uncles' new girlfriends nobody knows.
- Tim doesn't even know which uncle is dating the girlfriend—she introduces herself as Sharon who dates Steve, and nobody can explain what anyone's doing there.
- The saddest part: kids arrive manic from the other parent's house, fling their jackets off, grab presents, and celebrate their second Christmas with a family they barely know.
- When introduced to the other family's kids, Tim doesn't bother learning their actual names because there are too many of them.
- The teenage girls at these gatherings respond to greetings with dead stares and barely audible 'go' sounds, which Tim interprets as pure disdain for the occasion.
- 3 min
The Hard Drive of Facts and the Cousin's Budweiser Dog Text
#Tim describes a bizarre gift of a hard drive full of random facts from his stepmother's father, then reads a real text from his cousin asking him to submit a dog photo to Budweiser's "Pupwiser" promotion.
4moments
- Tim's stepmother's father gave him a hard drive labeled "facts" as a Christmas gift, claiming comedians should know facts.
- Tim describes choosing between his distant family members and his lunatic relatives instead.
- The cousin asks Tim to send a picture of his dog to Budweiser for their #Pupwiser campaign.
- Tim responds by suggesting the next request will be sending dog pictures to images of drug paraphernalia.
- 1 min
Wet Brain and Irish Family Substance Abuse Riff
#Tim continues mocking his cousin's Budweiser dog request, riffing on family members with "wet brain" from alcohol and stereotypes about Irish drinking.
4moments
- Many people in Tim's family have wet brain from Budweiser consumption and can't stand up straight without getting vertigo.
- Tim's Irish family has a problem with substances and he blames them for his current skin condition.
- Tim uploaded a studio photo where he looks terrible and attributes his bad appearance to emotional bleeding through his face from visiting New York.
- A vaccine photo of Tim generated $25,000 in engagement on his own Twitter.
- 2 min
The Horrific Vaccine Selfie and the $25,000 Vaccine Photo Bid
#Tim shows off a widely mocked photo of himself getting the COVID vaccine, joking about how bad he looked, doing close-ups, and mentioning someone bid $25,000 for the vaccine slot.
3moments
- Tim shows a vaccine selfie he almost didn't post because it's so unflattering.
- He describes the photo as harrowing, cataloging every unflattering detail: hair, gray, blotchiness, breakout, fat.
- Tim compares his appearance in the photo to a corpse, specifically an Irish one.
- 2 min
Artie's South Shore Fish House and Restaurants Getting Crushed by Lockdowns
#Tim praises Artie's South Shore Fish restaurant on Long Island and pivots into anger at government officials shutting down restaurants that worked hard to operate safely while the government did nothing.
5moments
- Tim flew across the country to patronize Artie's South Shore Fish House during a blizzard.
- The menu includes tuna tartare, buffalo calamari, shrimp cocktail, and whatever's fresh that day—you pick the fish and they prepare it with simple sides.
- Tim argues the government should stop shutting down restaurants, which have spent months and money trying to operate safely.
- Restaurants installed outdoor dining, glass partitions between tables, and navigated regulations to protect customers and employees.
- Tim attacks governors like Gavin Newsom and Andrew Cuomo for destroying restaurants' ability to earn a living while doing nothing themselves.
- 4 min
Upward Wealth Transfer and Calls to Execute Pelosi, Schumer, McConnell
#Tim rants about pandemic bailouts enriching corporate America and the powerful while essential workers suffer, invoking Jimmy Dore's "upward transfer of wealth" argument and jokingly calling for public execution of Pelosi, Schumer, and McConnell.
8moments
- Bailouts funnel wealth upward to corporate America while vulnerable workers bear the burden.
- Tim on the hypocrisy: people complain about comics doing shows but ignore essential workers risking their lives.
- Tim's rhetorical question about what to do with Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and Mitch McConnell besides execute them.
- Nancy Pelosi giving tours of her freezer full of gelato while people suffered during lockdowns.
- These politicians never leave office despite engineering the wealth transfers that benefit themselves and their allies.
- Tim clarifies he's not advocating violence but understands public frustration with government failure.
- Listing actual pandemic response measures that could have been implemented: masks, distancing, ICU expansion, defense production act.
- Government failed at every level from Trump down to local leadership like Lori Lightfoot.
Chuck SchumerMitch McConnellNancy PelosiJimmy DoreDonald TrumpLori Lightfoot
- 3 min
Lori Lightfoot's Halloween Costume and Newsom's French Laundry Dinner
#Tim mocks Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot's "Rona Destroyer" Halloween costume and slams Gavin Newsom's indoor dinner party at the French Laundry and the Austin mayor's Cabo trip as hypocrisy demanding resignation.
8moments
- Lori Lightfoot dressed as a coronavirus defeater for Halloween.
- Tim questions whether these people running major American cities are insane.
- The mayor of Chicago wore a cape as the 'Rona Destroyer' in public.
- Gavin Newsom attended an indoor dinner party at the French Laundry during lockdown.
- Tim argues politicians who broke lockdown rules they imposed need to resign.
- Steve Adler, the mayor of Austin, flew to Cabo and violated his own lockdown orders.
- Tim's position: if you're pro-lockdown, you can't go to French Laundry dinners and take planes to Cabo.
- You can't destroy people's lives and then go out and party yourself.
Gavin NewsomLori LightfootSteve AdlerThe French Laundry
- 3 min
Unemployment Numbers and Outdoor Dining Shutdowns
#Tim and Ben look up jobless claims numbers (751,000) while discussing how outdoor dining shutdowns in LA make little sense and blaming Trump and officials for failing to invest in better solutions.
6moments
- Tim questions the unemployment numbers, calling them the craziest thing he's ever seen.
- 751,000 people filed for jobless claims last week; Tim jokes that two of them should be Gavin Newsom and the guy in Austin.
- Outdoor dining in LA shouldn't be shut down because it accounts for a small percentage of transmission.
- Tim describes eating in the weird street vestibules built in New York—structures that look like horse stalls but are technically buildings.
- Why not invest in better air filtration systems instead of all these shutdowns and makeshift outdoor structures.
- His father's wine business is doing well because people are drinking, but his restaurant-owner friends are suffering and terrified of another shutdown.
- 2 min
The Church of Satan Charity Plan and Door-to-Door Canned Food Scheme
#Tim and Ben debate a bizarre charity idea of going door-to-door asking strangers for canned food to redistribute, mocking the impracticality of doing it in Beverly Hills.
5moments
- Tim proposes the Church of Satan as the best charity option they should research and support.
- The door-to-door canned food collection scheme: go directly to people's houses and ask for spare canned goods to redistribute.
- Tim calls the whole idea the stupidest thing he's ever heard and questions why they wouldn't just buy the canned food for ten cents.
- The defense: in small Texas towns everyone knows everyone, so knocking on doors asking for spare green beans isn't insane.
- Tim imagines doing this in Beverly Hills, walking up to mansions complimenting the home before asking for canned goods.
- 4 min
Knocking on a Beverly Hills Mansion for Canned Food (Bit)
#Tim performs an extended improvised sketch of knocking on a wealthy Beverly Hills woman's door asking for canned food, riffing on her fake charity for Afghan textile fashion and her being a drunk.
9moments
- Tim says he's a regular on podcasts and his own show is fairly big.
- He appeared on Lights Out with David Spade and claims he was one of the funnier guests, noting many of the people who went on are on drugs.
- Tim and his producer are trying to do a charity collecting food for needy people.
- His producer got very fat from booze, which is why she's not working—describing it as flabby alcohol weight rather than actual food.
- Protesters were chanting eat the rich on the street, which Tim blames on universities letting things get insane.
- Tim notices the homeowner has a Shih Tzu and calls it a very Beverly Hills dog that just sits on a couch.
- The homeowner reveals she has a charity focused on interesting fashion for women in Afghanistan and owns textile mills.
- Tim offers to come to a charity dinner and volunteer as a comedian to lighten things up while promoting textile factories for Afghan women.
- Ben explains they're doing door-to-door collection in this Beverly Hills neighborhood.
David SpadeJoe RoganuniversitiesAfghanistan
- 1 min
Tim reads an ad for Lucy nicotine lozenges and gum, describing the flavors and the subscription service, with promo code TIM for 20% off.
4moments
- Tim endorses Lucy nicotine lozenges as a way to quit smoking without vaping or eating junk food.
- Lucy comes in three flavors—wintergreen, cinnamon, pomegranate—with four milligrams of nicotine per lozenge for gradual step-down.
- The company was founded by Caltech scientists and former smokers seeking a cleaner nicotine alternative.
- Lucy subscription delivers directly to your door each month, requiring no trip to the store.
- 2 min
Tim promotes Greg Carlwood's Higher Side Chats podcast covering conspiracies, underground bases, and secret societies, offering a free month with promo code Tim Dillon.
4moments
- Tim recommends Higher Side Chats podcast, hosted by Greg Karlwood, which covers conspiracies including underground military bases and ancient civilizations.
- The show features guests discussing secret societies, false flags, alien moon bases, and Tesla technology, giving voice to counter-culture scholars outside the mainstream.
- Tim doesn't normally plug shows but says Karlwood has a great interview style and genuinely enjoys the episodes he's heard.
- The real test of the show: even if you don't believe the content, it's entertaining enough to make it a great show.
Higher Side ChatsGreg KarlwoodGraham HancockWhitney Webb
- 2 min
Distrust of the Red Cross and Imagining Ben's Wife Plotting His Death
#Tim says he distrusts organizations like the Red Cross, then performs an imagined conversation between Ben and his wife plotting to poison Tim and get rid of him.
5moments
- Tim distrusts the Red Cross and many charitable organizations because he knows how poorly they're run.
- Imagining Ben's wife discussing Tim's Christmas present: she suggests poisoning him instead of buying a gift.
- In the imagined conversation, Ben's wife proposes giving Tim pancake batter as a gift, since he's a pig man who eats constantly.
- According to the bit, Ben was supposed to be the biggest arena comedian in America but now works for Tim instead.
- Tim claims the imagined conversation is word-for-word what actually happens in Ben's home, and Ben's laughter confirms it.
- 3 min
The Matchbox Rolls-Royce Christmas Gift Bit
#Ben reveals his Christmas present plan is a tiny collectible model Rolls-Royce, leading to a bit about pricing actual used Rolls-Royces online and mocking the cheapness of the gift.
6moments
- Tim's girlfriend suggested framing photos of studios, but he rejected it because it would make him look like a cartoon character obsessed with Rolls-Royces.
- He preferred a gift related to people not plotting to kill him over a Rolls-Royce ornament.
- Tim and his girlfriend were planning to buy him a collectible Rolls-Royce Continental model car since they can't afford a real one.
- After looking up pre-owned Rolls-Royce prices, he found a 2011 Ghost for $123,000 and questioned why he bought a Range Rover instead.
- Seeing a 2013 Rolls-Royce Ghost listing made him consider selling his Range Rover to buy it.
- Tim's actual Christmas present turned out to be zero, just like his Spanish teacher used to give him for Robin's Egg assignments.
- 2 min
"You Still Have a Job" - The Cratchit Christmas Present Bit
#Ben's real Christmas gift is revealed as just continued employment, riffing on Bob Cratchit from A Christmas Carol and a Thanksgiving incident where Ben wouldn't help move furniture.
5moments
- The Christmas present is continued employment — "you still have a job."
- Tim needed his employee to move furniture from Whitney Cummings' house on Thanksgiving morning, but he was doing brunch with his wife instead.
- Tim describes his employee as deeply selfish, refusing to come in and then suggesting therapy as an alternative to working.
- Despite everything Tim has given him — shared comedy, career connections, travel across the country — his gift in return will be a tiny matchbox car.
- Tim reflects on how much he's shared with Ben: his mind, comedy, career, life, and access to fascinating people and media moments.
- 1 min
The Matchbook Car Bit Continues and Fake Sincerity
#Tim continues mocking the toy car gift while pretending to appreciate Ben's friendship and generosity ironically.
4moments
- Tim asks what gift to get someone when it's hard to buy for them, leading to the matchbook car idea.
- The bit takes a dark turn—Tim jokes about the fat person choking on the matchbook car and dying.
- Tim shifts to fake sincerity, expressing eager anticipation for the matchbook car from his best friend and business partner.
- He closes with the counter-offer of getting them a model train set in return.
- 2 min
Andrew Schultz Special Preview and New Year's Nuke Wish
#Tim previews the upcoming Andrew Schultz interview about "Schultz Saves America," announces this is the last episode of the year, and jokes he wishes every country would nuke the US simultaneously on New Year's Eve.
7moments
- Andrew Schultz released a four-part Netflix special called 'Schultz Saves America' and understands his business better than most people in the industry.
- Tim discusses how the episode is valuable for young creators wanting to learn about evolving, using social media and YouTube to build traction before approaching larger companies.
- They talk about Schultz's accomplishments for an hour and then move into other topics.
- This is the last episode of the year; the next one drops on the second or third of January.
- Tim expresses a dark New Year's thought: what if every country decided to nuke America at midnight on New Year's Eve, all at the same time.
- Even little countries would fire off whatever nukes they have, just bombarding America together as a way to ring in the new year.
- Tim frames this as just a thought, just an idea, in the spirit of being hopeful about things.
Andrew SchulzSchultz Saves America
- 7 min
Year in Review: From the Garage to Rogan, Alex Jones, and Growing the Show
#Tim and Ben reflect sincerely on the show's growth over the year, from making sketches in a garage in 2016 to appearing on Rogan seven times and sitting next to Alex Jones, expressing gratitude to listeners.
11moments
- Tim reflects on the show's dramatic growth over the past year, calling it the most insane year of his life.
- Seven appearances on Joe Rogan Experience, including an election live stream and an epic podcast with Alex Jones sitting next to him.
- Tim and Ben used to sit in a garage in California watching Rogan and Alex Jones, wondering how they could catapult themselves into that reality.
- Building this show has been the most insane professional journey of Tim's life, eclipsing specials, pilots, and touring.
- Ben describes the show as surreal, going from making sketches on an iPhone in the garage with no camera or computer to where they are now.
- Ben says he loves Tim and thanks him for everything, noting how cool it's been to watch him get successful.
- Tim contrasts himself with other comics who make things up and lie, saying he just talks about what's real to him.
- The show's resonance with audiences, who watch, send photos, and came to live performances when Tim and Dan were touring.
- Tim admits he doesn't say it enough but is grateful for the aggressive support from both patrons and YouTube viewers who share the show.
- Tim concludes the year-end message by saying he'd give toy cars to everyone in the audience if they were there, just like Ben gave him one.
- The toy car joke lands: a car you can't afford to play with like a child.
- 1 min
Turning the Audience Into a Militia
#Tim jokes that if they got smart, they could turn the audience into a violent militia.
2moments
- Tim recounts his stepmother's prediction that he would bring someone home and dress them down.
- He clarifies that everyone at the Tim Dillon Show is the same—just all of them together.
- 2 min
Tim reads an ad for Keeps hair loss treatment, explaining the pricing and encouraging listeners to act fast to prevent balding, using code tim dillon at keeps.com.
3moments
- Tim jokes that he and Ben could turn their audience into a violent militia if they got smart about it.
- Tim argues that hair replacement products don't look good, but Keeps helps you keep the hair you actually have through prevention.
- Tim mentions that Keeps costs only ten dollars a month and that other comedians he knows use it to keep their hair.
- 2 min
Tim promotes the Ridge Wallet, describing its sleek metal design and performing a demonstration of sanitizing it with hand sanitizer.
4moments
- Tim has done the Ridge Wallet advertisement a trillion times.
- Ridge is a front pocket wallet made of metal — small, sleek, sexy, modern, and easy to sanitize.
- Tim requests hand sanitizer to demonstrate why Ridge is actually the safest wallet in perilous times.
- Hand sanitizer applied to the Ridge Wallet proves it sanitizes instantly and completely, unlike all other wallets.
- 1 min
Tim reads an ad for "Another Below Deck Podcast" and "Another Bachelor Podcast," describing wild storylines from Below Deck and the upcoming Bachelor season with the first Black lead.
5moments
- Below Deck described as severely damaged people cleaning boats for millionaires
- Tim plugs Another Below Deck podcast hosted by Dylan, Pat, and Nick Davis
- Bachelor season was filmed in quarantine at La Quinta resort in Palm Springs, which Tim calls not that nice
- Tim catalogs Bachelor contestants: bulimic army vet who attempted suicide twice, former drug addict stealing father's checks, engineer whose brother is a jailbird with tear tattoos
- Next Bachelor season features first Black male lead in show's history and promises equally damaged contestants
Below DeckAnother Bachelor PodcastAnother Below Deck PodcastThe Bachelor
- 1 min
Tim reads an ad for "Another Below Deck Podcast" and "Another Bachelor Podcast," describing wild storylines from Below Deck and the upcoming Bachelor season with the first Black lead.
5moments
- Below Deck described as severely damaged people cleaning boats for millionaires
- Tim plugs Another Below Deck podcast hosted by Dylan, Pat, and Nick Davis
- Bachelor season was filmed in quarantine at La Quinta resort in Palm Springs, which Tim calls not that nice
- Tim catalogs Bachelor contestants: bulimic army vet who attempted suicide twice, former drug addict stealing father's checks, engineer whose brother is a jailbird with tear tattoos
- Next Bachelor season features first Black male lead in show's history and promises equally damaged contestants
Below DeckAnother Bachelor PodcastAnother Below Deck PodcastThe Bachelor
- 2 min
Andrew Schultz joins to discuss his Netflix special Schultz Saves America, explaining the surprising costs of licensing images for jokes, including a bit about not being able to afford a photo of Epstein's island.
4moments
- Andrew Schultz's new project is a four-part comedy special on Netflix about his parents.
- Schultz was posting these videos on Instagram and they went viral—the Rock was watching them.
- Image licensing became the biggest headache: Schultz and his team spent between $50,000 and $100,000 just on image rights for the special.
- On a TBS sketch show about Jeffrey Epstein's island, the network couldn't afford to license the actual photo, so they demanded he use a different island instead.
- 3 min
Schultz describes Netflix lawyers objecting to a joke about Stormy Daniels' STDs because it could hypothetically impact her ability to work as a prostitute, and discusses how manufactured outrage from bloggers creates fake news cycles.
7moments
- Tim has crazy jokes in the special, but Netflix pushed back on one particular line about Trump and Stormy Daniels.
- Netflix's objection confused Tim, especially since there's a female genital mutilation joke in the first ten seconds.
- The lawyer argued that saying Stormy Daniels has STDs could hurt her ability to do her job, even though the job itself is illegal.
- Tim does jokes about coronavirus and makes some Chinese jokes, but they're specifically about political figures, not Chinese people.
- He criticizes the predictability of outrage and notes that good comedy reviews are useless; he needs anger and outrage instead.
- The reviewers didn't even watch the last episode, where Tim explicitly explains how media outrage cycles work.
- Bloggers create fake news stories, real organizations react as if it's legitimate, and then bloggers react to the coverage, manufacturing news from nothing.
- 2 min
Schultz and Tim speculate about when the pandemic will end and whether people will run outside seeking hedonism or stay glued to their devices, plus Tim discussing his own distanced holiday visits and Schultz's engagement.
7moments
- Tim asks his guest what they think will happen to culture and human behavior after quarantine ends.
- Tim imagines people either running out of their homes in a week of hedonism or permanently addicted to their devices.
- Guest predicts one week of crazy behavior after which everyone settles back into device-based living.
- Tim says he loves that Christmas is cancelled and admits everyone gets angry at him over it.
- Stepmother asks if Tim gets lonely in his new house; he replies she's got him and she won.
- Tim reveals he's engaged and says he really got a great girl, refusing to be cynical about it.
- Guest asks if kids are coming soon.
- 3 min
Schultz jokes about coming out as trans to prove he can't be silenced, then they discuss what young creatives are doing right and wrong in monetizing content, including a jacuzzi/Long Island tangent.
4moments
- Tim's last appearance generated outreach from creative types—writers, comics, musicians, aspiring rappers—many of whom are now dead.
- Long Island pronunciation of 'Jacuzzi' avoided sounding too close to 'the Jews,' preventing misunderstandings about gatherings.
- Tim's plan to come out as trans to prove there's a trans person they won't attack, building on his track record with gay and fat.
- Living in the suburbs now, talking about couches with housewives instead of mini malls—a different world entirely.
MarvelCandace OwensElliot Page
- 4 min
Schultz explains why comedians often fail on YouTube (needing validation from live stages) and details his creative team of writers and editors, including Mark Gagnon and Robbie Slowik.
10moments
- Tim explains why what Andrew is doing isn't replicatable—nobody else executes at that level.
- Other comedians had the chance to do a funnier version of the Daily Show but haven't pulled it off.
- Andrew credits his team: Mark Gagnon as co-creator, Robbie Slovick writing, and Faisal, a lawyer from London who contributed material.
- Alex Media directed the special; these collaborators are smart and come up with ideas together.
- Tim argues that comedy at the elite level affecting culture cannot be done alone—you're competing against other people's teams.
- Even Tim himself, despite being better than average, can't do it solo—working with Dan Carney is very difficult.
- Comics coming out want all the credit for themselves, but the squad will end up getting it anyway.
- Tim had Dan the Funny Guy open in Salt Lake City, told him to take risks, then destroyed him on stage to make the audience forget about him.
- Having funny people in your orbit creates healthy competition that keeps you from being lazy.
- Marcus is a very funny opener who forces Tim to go hard and not coast.
Mark GagnonRobbie SlovickAlex MediaDan Carney
- 4 min
Schultz explains how he engineered the special to have a long shelf life by layering hidden jokes in the on-screen images, contrasting this with lazy late-night monologue jokes.
9moments
- Tim's editor Alex Media learned Premiere eight days before the special had to be edited.
- When hiring, Tim looks for competence and whether someone has equally high standards for content.
- Transitioning from solo stand-up work to leading a team involves a different kind of challenge.
- The best idea wins in creative decisions, regardless of whose it is.
- Tim surrounds himself with smart people and makes them comfortable enough to tell him a joke isn't funny.
- The Tom Hanks joke about calling him a pedophile is so densely packed with multiple jokes layered together.
- Comedy has a shelf-life problem: once you hear a joke, it's no longer funny the second time.
- Tim built the special to increase shelf life by loading it with so many jokes and visual gags that viewers discover new things on rewatches.
- Waiting for laugh-track responses while watching at home makes the viewer feel uncomfortable and strange.
- 2 min
They discuss a rapid-fire joke about Emmett Till and Ahmaud Arbery, and how making fun of every group equally (including Schultz's own appearance) avoids putting anyone on a pedestal.
7moments
- Late-night hosts are detached from actual comedy connection, especially post-quarantine when their lack of talent becomes obvious without the theater and makeup.
- Tim describes the rapid-fire joke structure of his special: images synced to specific lines, taking hours to align perfectly.
- The special functions as two different shows simultaneously—one when watching him, another when watching only the images hidden in the background.
- Tim explains a racially charged joke setup: "You probably haven't heard about her Emmett Till now" with an image of Ahmaud Arbery flashing next, designed to hit hard.
- These kinds of jokes short-circuit liberal college students who expect comedians to treat certain groups as off-limits.
- Tim refuses to treat comedy as sacred territory for any group—everybody gets made fun of, including himself.
- The whole point is not to put yourself on a pedestal about which groups deserve protection from jokes.
Emmett TillAhmaud ArberyAmy Cooper
- 4 min
Schultz talks about wanting to travel Europe and revisit Le Bernardin, drawing a parallel between elite chefs and elite comics curating an experience, name-checking Patrice O'Neal.
6moments
- Tim wants to travel Europe and do comedy everywhere once quarantine ends, realizing he missed his chance during the shutdown.
- European comedy tours are worth it now that he's gained notoriety; tickets will sell where they wouldn't have before.
- La Bernardin is one of the best seafood restaurants in the world, a glittering palace that rivals Paris's greatest restaurants.
- Tim went to La Bernardin as a teenager on a date and it fundamentally changed how he evaluates everything else.
- Experiencing greatness like Patrice O'Neal's special or La Bernardin provides a calibration point that organizes everything else in your head.
- Those unrepeatable configurations—the location, the era, the people involved—are what make certain restaurants and comics irreplaceable.
BernardinPatrice O'NealLuger'sHilarities
- 3 min
They discuss Peter Luger's fall from grace per a New York Times review, and reflect on how restaurants, like comedy, must constantly reinvent to stay relevant.
7moments
- Peter Luger's opened in 1863 and represents an era that has to end—restaurants need constant reinvention like comedy and media do.
- Comedians are funny but don't utilize social media effectively, while YouTubers build audiences through relatability and aspiration rather than comedy.
- A comic's job is to be funny, but YouTube success requires being relatable and aspirational—creating a fundamental divide between the two worlds.
- Some YouTube content like mukbang and tooth-brushing videos with millions of views suggests society is in trouble.
- Comedians get false validation from stage performance, while YouTubers need views to feel successful since they can't get that stage validation.
- A podcast reaches hundreds of thousands more people than a sold-out theater tour, yet comedians think they've made it when they sell out a venue.
- What makes restaurants and live comedy great is the in-person audience experience, but long-term success requires reaching vastly more people beyond that intimate setting.
- 4 min
Schultz argues comedians rely on false validation from live stage laughs instead of building views, contrasting comic content with aspirational YouTuber content and mukbang videos.
9moments
- Tim compares comedy to boxing, then rejects the comparison.
- The overlap between chefs and comics: both curate an entire experience from start to finish.
- Tim wants his show to begin the moment someone walks in the door, not when he takes the stage.
- Somalia at the Bernardine restaurant wearing a pimp cup with chains as part of the curated experience.
- Tim wants to turn touring theaters and arenas into a carnival—not just stand-up, but a wild shared experience.
- His success on the road comes from creating unique experiences through crowd interaction that can never be repeated.
- Tim wants people to experience his show as an act of domestic terrorism that makes the FBI question if it constitutes a terrorist group.
- Crowd interaction, riffing, and uncertainty are what people now want from live comedy—not just funny material.
- Audiences go to shows wanting a concert, an insane night, something to tell people about—an experience, not just entertainment.
- 2 min
They discuss wanting live shows to feel like curated carnival experiences, comparing it to sommelier theater at fine restaurants and Schultz's crowd-work-heavy live shows.
5moments
- Tim asks whether comics should keep doing specials or if some need to hang it up.
- The real answer: keep doing stand-up as long as it makes you happy and the wheels haven't fallen off.
- Tim proposes doing a yearly purge of comedians who should retire instead of continuing.
- Comedy clubs offer a safer social experience than dancing—you're distant, with friends, laughing together.
- When performing at a large venue like Madison Square Garden, making fun of a front-row person doesn't work for the rest of the audience.
Yes or yescomedy clubs
- 3 min
Tim and Andrew debate whether veteran comics should retire, joking about a "yearly purge" of comedians, while praising Whitney Cummings as an unstoppable force.
8moments
- Tim constantly changes what he's doing because early success with special material forced him to level up.
- He's never found monologues funny and wondered why nobody attempted to make them work.
- Lack of shame separates people willing to fail from those who won't try.
- A specific hoodie transforms Tim into a different person with no concern for politics or consequences.
- A stranger once complimented him while wearing the hoodie, proving one garment can enable reinvention.
- Mike Lawrence's question—"Are you too good to fail?"—resonated because Tim has never felt that way.
- Many comics avoid building social media presence because they fear wasting effort on an uncertain network.
- Tim measures success by participation: being on the field is okay, but pointing from the bench is where depression lives.
- 1 min
Schultz reflects on a friend's fearless approach to romantic rejection and argues that speaking honestly to a woman is braver than skydiving.
3moments
- Tim grew up with Siddiqui Thomas, a Jamaican guy who would hit on every girl with a 2-3 out of 10 closing rate.
- Tim thought Siddiqui was the bravest person he'd ever seen, not a loser, because he didn't fear rejection or his friends witnessing it.
- Talking to a woman and actually listening to her opinion is braver than jumping out of a plane without a parachute, according to Tim.
thomas siddiqui
- 7 min
They discuss whether hard work is genetic, referencing their fathers, and debate the rare tier of "elite funny" comics, concluding that the internet lets you find your specific niche fanbase that never existed before.
10moments
- Tim asks whether hard work is genetic, citing George Carlin's theory on the subject.
- He attributes his own work ethic to witnessing his mother's discipline—waking at 5am to coach a swim team.
- Tim reveals he feared repeating his father's path: a talented musician who never pursued his gifts beyond playing guitar in a suburban house.
- At 25 years old, he decided comedy was his last real shot at being good at something.
- People can't reinvent themselves endlessly; at some point you have to commit to one path and stop chasing validation through new ventures every few years.
- Many very funny comics haven't built careers because they don't get bored easily, unlike Tim.
- Young comics listening should know there are different levels of funny, and most aren't at elite level yet.
- Even drug-addicted elite-level funny people are making a living, which most comics can't say.
- Tim loves stand-up because each crowd is different—like the basketball hoop changing height, or the tennis racket changing size, forcing constant adaptation.
- Young comics who say they just want a good quality of life are in trouble; your dream is the ceiling you'll reach in this business.
- 3 min
They analyze Trump's unique ability to riff and connect with crowds like a stand-up without material, and speculate whether he'll actually run again or is just maintaining leverage.
6moments
- Tim asks whether Trump will keep doing rallies after leaving office, and what that skill even is—not quite stand-up, but riffing off the top with his crowd.
- He compares Trump's rally talent to what every stand-up wishes stand-up was: just being yourself without needing clever premises, just saying what the audience wants to hear.
- Tim raises Trump's age as the real limiting factor—late seventies, high on Adderall, the question is whether he wants to keep doing that or close it up for quality of life.
- If Trump genuinely believes he's running again, he has to stay in the game; if he's just fronting, it's for political leverage to get what he wants.
- Tim agrees Trump won't be locked up because the country can't afford that look—you just let it go, and that's actually why people like him.
- The appeal is that he's a crook in a world where everyone's a crook, so at least he's honest about it.
- 3 min
Schultz explains his realization that streaming platforms like Netflix and Amazon operate as stock-price plays rather than profit-driven businesses, calling it "fake business."
7moments
- Tim predicted Netflix would go out of business, then got a show there.
- Amazon Prime is also going out of business, according to the same logic.
- Tim initially approached Netflix expecting it to need profits to survive, not realizing how the game actually works.
- As long as the stock price stays high, the business model works regardless of actual profits or revenue.
- This model applies to most tech-based companies like Uber, not just streaming platforms.
- The original purpose of the stock market was raising capital; now it's how initial investors cash out on the public.
- Once a company goes public, the founders extract their money and stop caring what happens to the business.
NetflixAmazon Primestock marketFake businessSiriusXMSpotifyUber
- 2 min
Schultz notes how much more his family reacted to his Netflix deal than his engagement, reflecting on brand recognition and wanting to reach the most people possible.
4moments
- Family members messaged congratulations on Netflix and engagement as if they were simultaneous achievements, when he'd been engaged for a while before the deal.
- Netflix has become embedded in vocabulary and cultural shorthand like "Netflix and chill."
- Tim credits Netflix executives for being cool with the content and letting him put out whatever he wanted.
- The production went over budget and Netflix stepped in to support it.
- 4 min
Schultz praises Kevin Spacey's directing and Netflix's supportiveness, then discusses Chappelle's Comedy Central deal complaints and his own goal of building equity to eventually run independent, well-funded creative projects like an Ocean's Eleven-style rat pack film.
9moments
- Netflix let Kevin Spacey direct the whole show, which Tim calls unbelievable.
- Tim notes how much Andrew Schultz has accomplished in a relatively short span, running at a pace suggesting ambitions beyond just being a great comedian.
- Schultz wants to create a rat pack vibe through film, making the kind of hanging-out environment that podcasts naturally provide.
- Eventually doing fewer but bigger projects, with everyone in that world becoming millionaires through a team model rather than every man for himself.
- Building enough equity so you can do the show you want to do with people who support you, because networks won't take risks without proof of success.
- Dave Chappelle complained about his Comedy Central deal despite not having a hit before that show.
- Tim supports creators getting all the rights, but Chappelle's approach of pulling his show from platforms where poor people want to watch it strikes him as wrong.
- Schultz wants to create cool projects and have enough equity to do comedy the majority of people like without bloggers infiltrating it.
- Tim says he'd be upset if there weren't people talking about him—being irrelevant is the real problem.
- 4 min
They discuss how New York restaurant capacity limits are quietly negotiable, and criticize comics who took the pandemic off instead of creating content, contrasting them with hardworking peers.
8moments
- Tim asks when New York comes back and whether the guest ever leaves.
- Comedy clubs shutting down made people realize they could leave New York for places like Santa Barbara.
- The guest describes renting an insane place in LA and not knowing what the world looks like in a year, so the strategy is flexible.
- Tim plans to do shows with social media people and try things outside his normal world while in LA.
- Tim claims he knew he and the guest would win the pandemic from the beginning.
- When there's chaos, certain people thrive in it rather than flee.
- Tim questions whether people who left during the pandemic and didn't fight it out show something about their character.
- A nice New York restaurant party where everyone got tested for Netflix and definitely doesn't have corona.
- 2 min
Tim credits Ben for building the entire studio and stresses the importance of not waiting around for opportunities, criticizing those who resent people who took their careers into their own hands.
8moments
- Tim mentions being a drug addict so he needs to work or he gets in trouble.
- Calling a restaurant to negotiate exceeding their 10-person limit; everything in New York is negotiable.
- Young comics getting paid by the government to do nothing while refusing to create are crazy.
- Ben and the opener Dan were out making stuff in Florida, which Tim finds positive.
- Too many people are waiting for someone to open the barn door instead of working.
- People get upset because Tim and his crew took their careers into their own hands rather than waiting for permission.
- Tim's career exists on connectivity with people, not on charity from executives.
- Tim wants to be put in front of people and express what he thinks they're actually feeling.
- 3 min
Schultz describes a primal, instinctive "lizard funny" quality some comics like Chris Farley and Eddie Murphy have, and reiterates that the internet lets niche comics find their exact audience.
9moments
- Tim says he has tons of faith in people because they find him funny and that's enough.
- Recognizing funny and authenticity isn't that difficult; being a talent executive isn't a hard job.
- Tim describes how he can tell immediately if someone like Ryan Long has comedic talent versus someone who's trying hard but doesn't have it yet.
- Some people have a 'lizard brain' quality to their humor—a primal, immediate funniness that transcends setup and punchline structure.
- Chris Farley exemplified lizard brain funny: he never said a single setup-punch in his life but was funny anyway.
- Eddie Murphy and Bernie Mac have that same primal connectivity that makes them inherently funny.
- Tim argues that finding 60,000 dedicated fans through the internet is now possible in a way that never existed in history before.
- Not everyone will have primal universal appeal, but the internet lets you find the other people exactly like you who've always existed.
- Tim gets annoyed when people complain about opportunities when there are now enough avenues to find your audience.
- 2 min
They close discussing whether 2021 will overcorrect into excessive joy, referencing Trump's ability to win attention through comedy, before Andrew plugs Schultz Saves America on Netflix.
3moments
- Every correction is an overcorrection — if 2020 overcorrected toward sadness, will 2021 overcorrect toward joy?
- People will call old friends and then at lunch realize they preferred when they couldn't legally see each other.
- Tim's conspiracy theory involves late-night Wendy's parking lots, smoking weed with friends and talking shit.
Saves AmericaDonald TrumpAndrew Schulz