Episode 205 · The Ben Avery Era
#205 - Well, LA Was Fun | The Tim Dillon Show
Jun 21, 2020 · 1:34:53 · 334,000 views · 24 segments, 156 moments indexed
Tim discusses his favorite comedian from the hit Netflix show You, talks his love for JP Morgan and their new interest in equality, and offers his take on all the wonderful and talented people in and around Hollywood.
Watch on YouTubeDiscuss on Reddit
- 1 min
Cold Open: TBS Tournament of Laughs and Joe Rogan Mystery
#Tim opens by discussing the TBS Tournament of Laughs, his match against comedian Godfrey, and a cryptic call from an executive who hints Joe Rogan might promote the show.
4moments
- Tim introduces the show, recorded late Thursday night/early Friday morning in studio.
- Tim announces the TBS Tournament of Laughs video featuring him and Benjamin against Godfrey and possibly other comedians.
- TBS executives have called and tweeted asking why Tim isn't marketing the tournament, which he's ignoring.
- An executive producer cryptically suggests maybe Joe Rogan will talk about the show if he likes it.
- 1 min
Ocean Prime Fake Ad and Gavin Newsom Recall
#Tim does a fake, joking sponsor bit about Ocean Prime steakhouse being reopened, then pivots to news that people are trying to recall Governor Gavin Newsom.
3moments
- Ocean Prime steakhouse in Beverly Hills is back open, encouraging patio dining as people carefully venture back out.
- Tim jokes that Ocean Prime is offering curbside to-go service, then immediately acknowledges it was a joke.
- The real pressing matter: people are trying to recall Gavin Newsom.
- 2 min
The Netflix Show 'You' and Chris D'Elia's Character
#Tim talks about the Netflix show You starring Penn Badgley, noting that comedian Chris D'Elia plays a character who pursues an underage girl, setting up the discussion of D'Elia's real allegations.
5moments
- Tim starts describing the Netflix show 'You' and asks if the listener has seen it.
- Penn Badgley plays a serial killer in the first season, set in Brooklyn.
- The second season moves to Los Angeles, California.
- Tim asks if the listener knows which comedian is in the show.
- Chris D'Elia appears in the show, and Tim notes he plays a pedophile character.
You (TV series)Penn BadgleyGavin NewsomZach CreggerBrooklynLos Angeles
- 4 min
Chris D'Elia Allegations Break Down
#Tim discusses the emerging Chris D'Elia allegations in detail, his own limited personal interactions with D'Elia, distinguishing between legal adult hookups and underage messaging, and mocking his own history of being near collapsing projects and institutions.
10moments
- Chris D'Elia accused of pursuing an underage girl.
- Tim has spoken to D'Elia three times at the Comedy Store and found him pleasant, but says this doesn't excuse disturbing allegations.
- D'Elia cultivated a mainstream celebrity fanbase — Machine Gun Kelly, Eminem, Justin Bieber — unlike Tim's own trajectory.
- Everyone knew D'Elia was successful with women; fans would approach him aggressively after shows.
- Tim contrasts D'Elia's appeal to his own experience — he leaves comedy shows in an Uber with a frustrated Asian driver, not adoring fans.
- If adult women are angry about D'Elia's behavior, that's on them; women have agency and can make choices.
- Allegations involving underage girls are a criminal and moral problem that should be handled in court.
- A 19-year-old who goes to a guy's hotel room and finds he's not a gentleman has a learning experience; that's different from underage involvement.
- The court of public opinion will determine whether people want to do business with or befriend D'Elia over the allegations.
- Tim hopes the underage allegations aren't true.
Chris D'EliaJustin BieberCandace OwensEminemMachine Gun Kelly
- 4 min
Jealous Comedians and the D'Elia Fallout
#Tim criticizes comedians who are using the D'Elia scandal to complain about their own lack of stage time and success, arguing D'Elia earned his spots regardless of the allegations.
8moments
- Hope is not that powerful—facts, gravity, and immutable laws occasionally fly in its face.
- Tim expresses hope there's no truth to allegations D'Elia was messaging underage girls.
- Asked if he'll get a better spot at the store without D'Elia around, Tim admits yes, then jokes he's kidding.
- The situation is genuinely bad for people who knew D'Elia and are disappointed and disgusted by it.
- Everything Tim gets involved in gets destroyed—subprime mortgages collapsed, Adam McKay dissolved his company, Anthony Bourdain's company was producing his show before Bourdain's death.
- Tim arrives at every party as the cop cars are being seen through the window—he's a countdown to disaster.
- Tim has sympathy for the victims who were messaged and made uncomfortable, but not for comedians complaining about losing spots.
- Chris D'Elia earned his spots at the Comedy Store through hard work, killed harder than anyone Tim's seen there.
Anthony BourdainChris D'EliaThe Comedy StoreAdam McKayComedy CentralGary SanchezBarack ObamaWill Ferrell
- 2 min
Leaving LA, Pizza in New York, and Russia Jokes
#Tim riffs about possibly leaving LA for New York, jokes about a hypothetical world where D'Elia blames Russia for fabricating the screenshots, and reflects on how absurd conspiracy deflections have become.
4moments
- Tim considers leaving LA after a year, thinking about pizza again and the Hudson River.
- He references Joe Rogan potentially moving to another state and Chris Rock seeming unfocused.
- Tim expresses sympathy for women affected by allegations but admits he hasn't done a deep dive on the facts.
- Skepticism about whether multiple people coordinating to photoshop screenshots is plausible.
- 5 min
Due Process, Hebephilia, and Neal Brennan's Correction
#Tim discusses withholding judgment on D'Elia pending facts, riffs on the definition of 'hebephile' versus 'pedophile,' and jokes about Neal Brennan correcting people's terminology on Twitter.
8moments
- Tim jokes about how funny it would be if the person came out and blamed Russia for manufacturing screenshots.
- Tim says he deals with serious situations through humor but people get angry at him for laughing about it.
- Entertainment news has become so bad that serious stories are now treated as light-hearted fluff.
- Tim imagines what it would be like to take that Netflix role while all this is happening—how could you do that script.
- Tim describes himself as someone in the courtroom eating potato chips who'll gossip after the trial rather than making a formal statement.
- Why does Tim have to make a statement when producers like Jamie Vernon and others sit in every room but say nothing.
- Tim's actual take: it's bad to be a pedophile, correcting himself that the person is a hebephile, not a pedophile.
- Neal Brennan was apparently correcting people on Twitter in the middle of the night about the hebephile distinction.
Vladimir PutinNeal BrennanNetflixJamie Vernon
- 3 min
World War 3 Trending and Hypothetical Comedian Scandals
#Tim jokes that D'Elia's scandal trended alongside World War 3 news, then imagines a spiraling scenario where other comedians (Santino, Hinchcliffe, Cumia) commit terrible acts overnight, forcing him to issue statements.
5moments
- Tim asks what a hebephile is and jokes about someone attracted to bearded Jewish men who own low-income housing in Williamsburg.
- Ben Shapiro's statement is trending on Twitter at the same time as World War 3.
- Tim imagines flying out of Los Angeles as it gets bombed by China, landing in New York to eat pizza like nothing happened.
- He addresses the controversy tonight but notes everything he said might become irrelevant if bodies are found.
- Hypothetical scenario: if Andrew Santino kills his wife, Tony Hinchcliffe kills a family on the 405, or Whitney bludgeons a dog, Tim would have to make statements about all of it.
- 1 min
Tim reads a sponsor ad for BlueChew, the chewable erectile dysfunction medication, describing its convenience and the free trial promo code.
3moments
- Blue Chew ad: chewable tablets with FDA-approved ingredients like Viagra and Cialis, work up to twice as fast as pills.
- Online prescription from licensed physician, ships discreet to your door, made in USA, cheaper than pharmacy.
- Special offer: first shipment free at BlueChew.com with promo code TIM, just pay five dollars shipping.
- 3 min
Tim reads an ExpressVPN ad about unlocking foreign Netflix content like Doctor Who and Spirited Away, joking about how exhausting the week's ads have been given the D'Elia topic.
5moments
- Tim introduces ExpressVPN while visibly frustrated with the ads on the show this week.
- ExpressVPN lets you unlock foreign movies and TV shows — watch Doctor Who on UK Netflix or Spirited Away on Japanese Netflix.
- The app is simple: open it, change your location, and stream from over a hundred countries on any device.
- Special link expressvpn.com/timdylan gets three free months; Tim explains VPN stands for Virtual Private Network so you're not tracked by the government.
- Tim reflects that this week's ads have been bizarre — blue chew and a VPN — and hopes something wholesome is coming next.
- 6 min
Return the Next Day: Comedy's Five Years Left and Tour Dates
#Recording a day later, Tim discusses Louis Gomez's theory that stand-up comedy has about five years before platforms crack down on it, then lists his upcoming tour dates in Sacramento, Salt Lake City, Cleveland, and Ontario, plus mask/mandate flip-flopping during COVID.
7moments
- Tim and the crew are digging up old podcast clips from Joey Diaz and Brogan to see how many people they can implicate—this is how society emerged from quarantine.
- People on TV promised we'd come out of quarantine stronger and refocus on what matters: family, health, and what Joey Diaz said on a podcast in 2011.
- Louis Gomez told Tim comedy has five years left in the business before the type of comedy they do gets caught in the crosshairs of Google and YouTube.
- Younger people don't want comedy that might upset anybody, and Tim has no interest in doing the type of comedy younger people want right now.
- Tim announces tour dates: Sacramento Punchline July 31st through August 1st, Wiseguys in Salt Lake City August 7th and 8th, Cleveland Hilarities August 13th through 15th, and Ontario Improv August 27th through 30th.
- Multiple reversals on virus information: surfaces, asymptomatic transmission, mortality rates, and ventilators have all been revised or walked back.
- People treat new health information as dogma, then a week later realize it wasn't true and pretend it never happened—like when protests started and everyone forgot they weren't supposed to gather in groups of thousands.
- 7 min
Fake Comedians, Perpetual Grievance, and the Momentum Generation Documentary
#Tim mocks people who call themselves comedians without merit and constantly claim to be robbed of success, then transitions into praising the surfing documentary Momentum Generation about lifelong dedication and brotherhood among elite surfers.
10moments
- The definition of 'comedian' is so loose that anyone can claim the title, unlike modeling where there's some objective standard.
- Every unsuccessful comedian insists they're a genius who's been robbed by someone else.
- These people spend all day attacking those who have succeeded instead of working on their own careers.
- Some of the complainers have more money than Tim does and still claim to be oppressed.
- Nobody is ever satisfied—whether you're an open mic performer or living in a mansion, everyone feels an invisible force keeping them down.
- Tim has watched the full cycle over eleven years: outsiders become insiders, then become the enemy.
- The Momentum Generation documentary about Kelly Slater and other surfers shows a real brotherhood built through shared struggle and competition.
- Comedy is nothing like that—it's just a market that decides who succeeds, and some people making millions still aren't good at it.
- You don't go into any other job and tell your coworkers they suck; the same standard should apply to comedy.
- The claim that podcasters are conspiring to keep people down isn't really accurate, and besides, anyone can start a podcast themselves.
comedyMomentum GenerationKelly SlaterRob MachadoShane Dorian
- 6 min
Comedy vs. Surfing: All-In Dedication and Happiness
#Tim compares the all-consuming dedication of pro surfers to that of comedians, arguing that total devotion to a craft doesn't guarantee happiness and that many aspiring comedians don't actually want the work, just validation.
10moments
- Tim: surfers aren't the brightest people, though standing on a board is an impressive athletic feat
- It's fascinating to dedicate your entire life to one thing, which overlaps between surfing and comedy
- Surfers structure everything around their craft—food, workouts, relationships, friendships—the way committed comedians do
- Tim doesn't believe the healthiest way to live is total dedication; balance is the opposite of what he described
- For surfers and comedians alike, their craft is where they truly live—on the board or on stage
- Many people on Twitter complaining about comedy don't actually want to be comedians; they just want community
- In entertainment, people stay and get angry rather than leaving like someone would quit surfing at the beach
- Most people waste their lives trying to get good at something and never do it
- The danger of dedicating your life to something: you might not be good, or good but unhappy anyway
- Comedians aren't doing it to be happy; they're trying to be happy but it isn't making them happy
surfingcomedy
- 5 min
Ansel Elgort Allegations and Selective Belief
#Tim discusses allegations against actor Ansel Elgort for an encounter with a 17-year-old, questioning the pedophile label, and pivots into a sarcastic bit about selectively believing accusers like Tara Reade against Biden versus others.
9moments
- Tim questions what the definition of pedophile means when a 20-year-old has sex with a 17-year-old.
- He describes Ansel Elgort as looking like a piece of shit and being from a rich New York City socialite family.
- Tim complains that nothing means anything anymore, comparing the expansion of labels like racist and pedophile to devalued currency.
- He claims to believe the woman accusing Elgort while admitting he never met her or saw the screenshot.
- Tim says he believes all women, except Tara Reade, who he calls a lying bitch for accusing Biden.
- Biden's caught on camera sniffing children's hair and massaging them, but Tim refuses to jump to conclusions about Uncle Joe.
- Matt Christman pointed out the hypocrisy of applying due process to Biden after abandoning it for Chris D'Elia.
- Tim notes the Democratic frontrunner has been credibly accused of sexual assault, just like Trump, making it all a wash.
- Actors and comedians face consequences for allegations, but presidents can get away with it—the rules flip depending on the position held.
- 6 min
Hollywood's Toxic Culture and Corey Feldman's Non-Reveals
#Tim discusses real predation in Hollywood, mocks Corey Feldman's repeated promises to expose Hollywood pedophiles that never materialize, and jokes darkly about his own parents' incompetence at exploiting him as a child actor, before pivoting to rising, underreported child abuse statistics during quarantine.
7moments
- Tim describes the predatory power structure in Hollywood: powerful men who've built fortunes are insulated from accountability.
- Corey Feldman keeps promising to out all the pedophiles but then just drops a new single with the Angels instead.
- Tim reflects on never becoming successful as a child actor and speculates his incompetent parents would have sold him into abuse if they were capable of organizing it.
- His grandmother stood outside the bathroom during a play to prevent anyone from molesting him, which Tim credits as her protecting him.
- Molestation statistics are staggering, especially during quarantine, and cases now go unreported until children require emergency room treatment.
- Teachers used to catch abuse when kids talked about it; now abused children only get discovered when injured badly enough for hospitalization.
- Tim apologizes for not making the child abuse reporting setup funnier, saying he should have run with it harder.
- 4 min
Losing the Concept of a Joke: Bits, OJ Simpson, and Cancel Culture
#Tim riffs that society has lost the ability to recognize a 'bit,' sarcastically defending Chris D'Elia, Kevin Spacey, and Harvey Weinstein as misunderstood performance artists, and calling OJ Simpson's murder and acquittal the greatest 'bit' of the century.
7moments
- Tim warns that future audiences will clip out-of-context moments from his podcast as evidence of him calling his parents pedophiles and saying kids need to get beaten.
- Society is losing the concept of what a joke actually is.
- Tim frames D'Elia's behavior as performance art in the tradition of Andy Kaufman, testing the limits of what art can be.
- The country has lost the ability to take a joke and understand what a bit actually is.
- Kevin Spacey was just kidding, and Harvey Weinstein's rape was an attempt to make actresses comfortable before their first big movie.
- OJ Simpson did the funniest bit of the last century by decapitating his ex-wife and a waiter, then getting acquitted as the ultimate punchline.
- Tim's worry is that the FBI is getting involved in what should be treated as comedy material and a laugh fest.
O.J. SimpsonChris D'EliaHarvey WeinsteinAndy KaufmanKevin Spacey
- 3 min
Believing Some Women But Not Juanita Broaddrick, and China DDoS Speculation
#Tim continues the selective-belief bit regarding Juanita Broaddrick's rape accusation against Bill Clinton, then shifts to speculating that China may be behind recent DDoS attacks and cyberattacks like the Sony hack.
3moments
- Tim says he believes all women except Juanita Broaddrick, who accused Bill Clinton of rape, because the Clintons are beautiful people who wouldn't do that.
- Speculation about China conducting DDoS attacks on systems in Australia and America as stress tests before a larger move.
- China has tested shooting down satellites and wiping out communication systems for Air Force bases, laying groundwork to take everything.
ChinaBill ClintonDooleyKathleen Willey
- 2 min
Tim promotes Raycon wireless earbuds, describing the features of the new E25 model and the discount code, including a riff on the phrase 'easy peasy Japanesey.'
5moments
- Tim uses Raycon wireless earbuds and says they're great
- The E25 model offers six hours of playtime with seamless Bluetooth pairing and improved bass in a compact design
- Raycon was co-founded by Ray J with celebrity investors like Snoop Dogg, Cardi B, and Melissa Etheridge
- Tim recommends buying Raycons as backup earbuds even if you don't need them right now
- Tim questions whether the phrase 'easy peasy Japanesey' is still acceptable to say and argues it means Asians are well-organized
- 8 min
Tim promotes Anvil Rings, spinning an elaborate extended fantasy about the reclusive Colorado craftsman who makes the rings out of meteorite and Damascus steel while allegedly on peyote, riffing at length about the imagery.
11moments
- Tim describes his jewelry business and partnerships, mentioning he recently started selling Anvil Rings.
- The ring maker is a mystical woodsman living in the woods who doesn't believe in global warming or North Korea and is dedicated to his craft.
- Anvil Rings offers materials including meteorite, whiskey barrel, elk and deer antler, Damascus steel, and Valyrian steel from Game of Thrones.
- Tim pitches the rings as handcrafted gifts that nobody will forget, noting over 500 five-star reviews and free sizing kits.
- A guy can give another guy a ring without it implying anything sexual.
- The ring maker sits in a thatched cottage in a mystical Narnia-type world making rings, possibly with Mr. Tumnus the faun.
- Wearing a Damascus steel ring might prevent someone from getting cancelled for saying outdated words like 'oriental' in 2012.
- People will ask where you got the ring and you can tell them a man living in the thick of the woods makes them for mystical creatures.
- The ring maker probably welds rings by moonlight in a canyon in western Colorado, possibly on peyote or mescaline.
- Tim describes the ring maker as a conspiracy theorist and substance abuser who reads about Q-Anon and drinks bleach while drinking moonshine.
- Rings hold their value and can be pawned later, useful if someone's life becomes a horror and they need to sell it to buy computer cleaner to huff.
- 7 min
Skepticism of Corporate-Backed BLM Support
#Tim expresses support for police reform while urging skepticism of corporations like JPMorgan and Citibank backing the Black Lives Matter movement, worrying it's being used to usher in a surveillance police state.
9moments
- Tim agrees with some BLM goals but warns against supporting a movement led by self-described Marxists while backed by JPMorgan and Citibank.
- Corporate and Hollywood support for an anti-capitalist movement suggests it's being co-opted to usher in a worse police state with mass surveillance.
- Contact tracing deployed under public health was later used against protesters—freedoms given up rarely come back.
- Tim cautions against supporting protest movements backed by all major corporations and Hollywood, likely signaling co-option.
- Freedom of speech is under threat, and people shouldn't be fired for unpopular opinions that contradict corporate-approved positions.
- Man fired for saying he'd defend his property against looters while Dick Wolf, a cop-show producer, called it unacceptable.
- Tim questions when the cycle of being forced to have the 'right opinion' ends and whether anyone can stay ahead of the mob.
- Mega-corporations wield the mob's anger for profit, paying lip service to movements while doing things misaligned with actual reform.
- In an age of religious fervor around activism, people adorn themselves with causes instead of doing the work to figure out what they're actually passionate about.
Black Lives MatterJPMorganDick WolfCitibankcontact tracingsurveillance
- 4 min
Getting Fired for Defending Your Property
#Tim discusses a man fired for saying he'd defend his property from looters, and producer Dick Wolf's condemnation of him, questioning the fairness of losing your livelihood over an opinion.
7moments
- Tim posted a black square on Instagram during the BLM moment without understanding what it was, only to learn later the CIA supposedly did it.
- People act like they're brands, constantly performing their beliefs like they're Starbucks instead of human beings.
- Tim mocks celebrities like Ansel Elgort posting about spending the day educating themselves while actually going to the beach, performing activism to avoid being targeted by the mob.
- Businesses paint BLM on their storefronts not out of conviction but out of fear that their windows will be bricked if they don't.
- Corporations are backing widespread agreement with these messages under the implicit threat of violence, which is strange and worth examining.
- Tim acknowledges police brutality is real and reforms are necessary, but still finds it uncomfortable that people lose their jobs for expressing opinions.
- The willingness to fire people and destroy their livelihoods over a single disagreement represents a troubling shift in how society handles dissent.
- 3 min
Painted BLM Storefronts and Fear-Based Compliance
#Tim describes the unsettling sight of businesses painting BLM on their windows to avoid being looted, framing it as compliance under implicit threat of violence rather than genuine belief.
6moments
- It's uncomfortable to walk down the street and see boarded-up stores with BLM spray-painted on them so they don't get bricks through the window or burned down.
- Tim argues that without civil interest, serious violence and civil war are coming, followed by a police state and total surveillance state.
- The forces pushing toward total chaos on both sides—are they stupid enough to think they'll win, or do they know a police state will follow?
- Tim sees society heading toward a more closed state where people are afraid to say anything, with only violence left as an option.
- If you've given up on society entirely and want violence, understand that whatever emerges from the ruins will be dramatically less free than now.
- Protesting, economic boycotts, and pressure on government aren't bad—but chaos invites more chaos.
- 6 min
Chaos, Sourdough Bread, and Fake Revolutionaries
#Tim argues that people calling for abolishing police and embracing chaos are the same people who were baking sourdough bread months earlier and don't actually want anarchy, warning that chaos will just usher in Trump-style authoritarianism or a police state.
10moments
- Trump will go full dictator because most people don't want chaos, despite what teenagers claim on social media.
- The same people calling to abolish police were uploading photos of their sourdough bread two months ago—they don't actually want anarchy.
- People calling for no police and no order would fare worst in actual chaos with vigilantes, militias, and warlords filling the power vacuum.
- Growing up is realizing that nobody cares about you and that the only thing that matters is how you carry yourself in the world.
- Your feelings don't matter; what matters is how you carry yourself despite your circumstances, past, or what's upsetting you.
- People over 30 with large groups of close friends are mentally unwell and belong in an asylum.
- Social media has caused everyone to regress into childhood, obsessed with feelings and themselves while nobody actually cares.
- Companies and corporations putting up pride flags or other iconography as allies is utterly meaningless if you're actually grown up.
- If you want to act like a sixteen-year-old and tweet all day to feel good, you can do that, but you're still a teenager.
- Most people won't hold it against you if you're young and passionate, but everyone else needs to grow up.
- 1 min
Closing Riff: Growing Up Means Nobody Cares About You
#Tim closes the episode with a riff about how becoming an adult means realizing your feelings don't matter and that having too many close friends past 30 is a sign of mental illness.