Episode 71 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Always Be Capturing
Nov 20, 2017 · 1:18:05 · 15 segments, 115 moments indexed
- 1 min
Opening music and intro announcement for Tim Dillon's Going To Hell with Ray Kump.
1moment
- 0:02Intro: Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell with Tim Dillon and Ray Kump
- 1 min
- 17 min
Louis CK, Cancel Culture, and Careerist Comedians
#A long rant defending the idea that Louis CK was always talented while condemning his actions, spiraling into an extended argument about cynical, unfunny comedy writers exploiting the #MeToo moment to level the playing field, name-checking Drew Magary's GQ piece, Megan Kester, and the comedy scene's toxic careerism, plus a tangent about a fake-dick prop bit at a Golden Girls sketch show and complaints about the camera angle and studio setup.
16moments
- 0:40Louis CK was never funny and is a hack.
- 0:59The people now calling Louis CK unfunny weren't saying so before the scandal.
- 1:56Grouping Louis CK with Weinstein and Spacey mischaracterizes the severity of different acts.
- 3:19Why do we use one word to describe rape, pedophilia, and exhibitionism?
- 4:01Unfunny comedians are using the Louis CK scandal to eliminate competition and lower comedy standards.
- 4:57These careerists don't care about victims—they're exploiting the moment to level the playing field.
- 5:22Tim performed as Louis CK at a Brooklyn show, making a joke about consent on the Golden Girls.
- 7:11Drew McGarry's GQ article about comedy men being bad is garbage and came out only after it was safe.
- 7:49Careerists use cynical takes and social consensus to get ahead rather than working to be funny.
- 9:15The strategy is to lower the threshold of what counts as funny so mediocre people can participate.
- 10:25These angry people making hundreds of thousands writing for shows feel excluded despite success.
- 11:55Critics calling things offensive humor are using a straw man argument about PC culture.
- 12:44Complaints about comedy standards never come from killers, only from people who aren't funny.
- 13:23Late-night shows aren't funny—Tim hasn't enjoyed a network late-night show in years.
- 13:55Tim got into comedy to do podcasts with friends, not to wear suits and go to the Emmys.
- 15:03Listeners complaining about camera angles on a free podcast are absurd.
Louis C.K.Drew McGarrycomedyHarvey WeinsteinLewis GómezMegan KesterJohn OliverKevin Spacey+1 more
- 3 min
Grocery Store Pants and Louie Reflections
#Tim riffs about taking his pants off in a grocery store, then pivots into musing about society rewarding sociopaths over good people, name-checking Cosby, Woody Allen, and Polanski, and testing produce with his ass as a bit.
9moments
- 17:15Tim took his pants off in the produce section of a grocery store because he was hot, planning to come back for them.
- 17:49Louie CK had some genuinely good episodes despite the controversy surrounding him.
- 18:10Society does not reward good people—it rewards sociopaths, liars, and cheaters who don't get caught.
- 18:31The drive to excel at comedy comes from dark demons and deep narcissism, not healthy places.
- 18:44Tim argues that Cosby was funny and Woody Allen and Roman Polanski made great work, regardless of their crimes.
- 19:08It's Orwellian to retroactively declare that something you once found funny was never actually funny.
- 19:34People struggle to accept that someone they liked did something terrible without erasing their past work entirely.
- 19:54Tim tests produce quality by inserting items into his ass to check if they retain their shape.
- 20:06If produce doesn't retain its shape after this test, it wouldn't be good anyway, so Tim is actually helping people.
- 2 min
The Russ Baker Live Podcast Recap
#Tim and Ray recap their awkward live podcast event with conspiracy writer Russ Baker at the TBS New York Comedy Festival, describing the fancy hotel venue, disappointed expectations about the crowd, and Russ hamming it up about the Iraq War instead of getting to his material.
6moments
- 20:20Tim thanks the four people who attended the live podcast with Russ Baker at TBS.
- 20:37The venue was a white-carpeted hotel room at the Public Hotel with nice furniture.
- 20:49Tim jokes someone must have licked all the blood off the white carpet.
- 20:59Someone handed him a caprese sandwich immediately upon arrival.
- 21:13They thought 100 fans would show up, but instead got TBS Comedy Festival attendees there for other acts.
- 21:47Russ Baker spent an hour babbling about the Kennedy assassination to a room of young professionals who didn't know what was happening.
- 5 min
Satanic Pedophile Cults and the Rehab Counselor's Story
#Tim tells a disturbing story relayed by a friend-turned-rehab-counselor about a kid who claimed his Satanist parents killed his brother in a ceremony, spinning off into dark riffing about "Glengarry Satanists" and inept cult members who can't get organized.
9moments
- 22:37Tim suggests they should have Nick and Brian come in to talk about satanic pedophile cults.
- 23:21A former comedian friend of Tim's quit doing stand-up at 26 and is now getting a master's in sociology while working as a rehab counselor.
- 23:51The rehab counselor met Tim and told him about a quiet kid in his program who finally opened up.
- 24:08The kid's earliest memory is that his parents were Satanists and slit his little brother's throat in a ceremony in the woods.
- 24:40Tim jokes that the guy might be embellishing stories just to have anecdotes for the podcast.
- 25:09Tim claims every Satanist he's met has just been a guy who couldn't get into a legitimate orgy.
- 25:37Tim does a Glengarry Glen Ross-style bit about incompetent Satanists failing to execute a kid properly.
- 26:43Tim notes that since doing a previous episode on this topic, there's been at least one story every week in the news about kids being exploited.
- 27:06It just keeps going on and on, with no end in sight.
Russhuman traffickingsatanic pedophile cultsThe Tim Dillon ShowBrianJohnny's
- 7 min
Kevin Spacey, Epstein, and the Pedophile News Cycle
#Discussion of the wave of pedophilia and trafficking stories in the news (Pizzagate, Weiner, Epstein's black book, Clinton's flights), debating whether people like Spacey should just "lean in" publicly, and a tangent about torture, truth serum, and 24's Jack Bauer.
10moments
- 27:18Jeffrey Epstein's story exploded in the news over the past year, with leaked documents naming celebrities like Clint Eastwood who flew on his plane 27 times.
- 27:47Tim compares the current moment to how the CIA was hobbled by the Church Commission after the war, getting back to full strength within two years.
- 28:23Kevin Spacey should lean into the accusations and be photographed happily in public, since he's already lost everything and has nothing left to lose.
- 28:54If Lewis Gomez were Spacey's publicist, he'd advise doubling down and admitting to crimes rather than denying them.
- 29:27There are two types of abusers: pathological predators who can't stop themselves, and people who rise to the level they're expected to reach.
- 30:18While a few high-profile abusers face consequences, there's a vast underworld of trafficking, government involvement, intelligence agencies, and blackmail that's harder to expose.
- 31:18The hardest thing for people to grasp is that there are intermediaries and facilitators who profit from child trafficking without personally abusing anyone.
- 32:03Tim notes that torture programs like the CIA's were designed by doctors, giving them a clinical aspect rather than being just rage-fueled sadism.
- 32:30Even advanced, surgical torture techniques developed with modern technology don't resolve the moral problem—it's still just torture, like hooking car batteries to genitals.
- 33:17Truth serum doesn't actually work the way people think, but the government persists with brutal interrogation methods anyway.
sex traffickingKevin Spaceychild traffickingJeffrey EpsteintortureBlackwaterChurch Commission24+2 more
- 11 min
Trying to Reach Jack From Bullion Shark
#Tim and Ray try repeatedly to phone a young gold/silver coin telemarketer named Jack from Bullion Shark, riffing on numismatic value scams, cruise ship jewelry hustles in Costa Maya, and elderly marks buying coins on credit.
14moments
- 34:30Tim wanted Jack from Bullion Shark to call in and pitch gold, but he's not at work today.
- 34:50Tim questions whether gold-plated coins really hold numismatic value or if it's just 11 cents of gold dressed up as something collectible.
- 35:50Tim finds Jack's Bullion Shark listing online showing a complete silver eagle set for fifteen hundred dollars.
- 36:17Tim used to be into gold from a place of anarchism and regrets not buying when he could have doubled his money in ten years.
- 37:04Tim tries calling Jack on speaker phone to get him on the show to pitch the silver eagle set.
- 37:39Jack doesn't answer; Tim leaves a voicemail calling him a punk and asking if he can use the silver eagles to buy things on the dark web.
- 38:10These gold hustlers are just slanging shit to old people in Nebraska who buy off credit cards despite the economy doing poorly.
- 38:41On a recent cruise, Tim witnessed the jewelry hustle: a TV loop of 24-hour pitches preparing passengers to buy tacky jewelry at ports.
- 40:15At Costa Maya in Mexico, there's a guy dressed as a pirate standing outside the "International Diamond Exchange" to lure cruise tourists.
- 41:01Tim points out that these elderly cruise passengers—people who were alive in the 1970s—have never once been sold something good in their lives by phone solicitation.
- 43:16Tim jokes they should just start selling coins and identities on the show, become financial intermediaries, or get into arbitrage.
- 44:08Tim was skeptical during the mortgage boom when people were flipping houses and selling mortgages, thought it seemed fishy, didn't get involved, and just became a mark himself.
- 44:44Tim tries calling Jack again, threatening to break his head if he doesn't answer.
- 44:59Money is burning a hole in Tim's pocket and he wants this fucking kid to answer his phone.
Costa MayaBretton Woods ConferenceNebraskaLong IslandCubaMassapequaMexico
- 17 min
Jack finally calls in and Tim and Ray grill him live about the fake rare-coin scheme, mock his sales leads (people who threatened to kill Obama, hospital patients), and Ray peppers him with fake insider economics jargon like "bi-metal history" before dismissing the pitch.
17moments
- 45:34Tim asks Jack from Bullion Shark to explain what's happening with the economy, then argues about whether there's a market bubble.
- 46:25Tim and Ray pose as customers wanting to buy silver coins after receiving money from an estate, interrogating Jack on the numismatic value of a Morgan silver dollar listed for $1,300.
- 47:31Tim gets Jack to admit he doesn't know the actual ounce weight of silver in the coins being sold and challenges whether anything on the website is worth more than $50 in actual silver.
- 48:24Tim asks Jack if anyone has ever killed themselves during a sales call with him, then accuses him of preying on the mentally ill.
- 49:29Jack's evasive answers lead Tim to make observations about the types of people being targeted as customers, with crude generalizations about Jewish customers' resistance to sales tactics.
- 50:24Tim questions Jack's call metrics and whether he's just calling mental institutions, then shifts to role-playing a customer named Ray discussing gold sales and Austrian School economics.
- 52:55Tim asks what kind of leads Jack works with and jokes that they're people who have been hospitalized or threatened violence, setting up a prank call scenario.
- 53:48Tim accuses the company of selling collectible coins that are actually modern commemorative pieces with no real value, and challenges Jack on the liquidity of a $1,500 investment.
- 55:13Debate over whether American Silver Eagles are actually rare coins or just bullion products, with Tim pressing Jack on who decided the arbitrary pricing.
- 57:36Tim criticizes the business model of creating the illusion of scarcity around modern commemorative coins to deceive vulnerable customers.
- 58:42Tim's closing argument: the company conflates actual rare coins no longer in circulation with new commemorative pieces, betting that desperate and sad people will see them as investments.
- 59:55Tim asks Jack how his friends reacted when he recommended the podcast to them, setting up a joke about what kind of friends would be listening.
- 1:00:41Tim describes the type of people listening—preppy Catholic school kids whose fathers say the n-word—and notes they wouldn't listen anyway because they're doing coke and fucking girls in high school.
- 1:01:18After Jack hangs up, Tim reflects that Jack is a sweet kid but notes his fatal mistake was trying to outsell Tim rather than buttering him up first, before delivering the sales pitch.
- 1:02:09Tim advises that the proper technique is to find common ground with a prospect by acknowledging the product is somewhat bullshit, then use the phrase "bi-metal" to get them interested.
- 1:02:23Tim notices Ray eating Skull candy through the phone and mocks him for sitting in a bathtub with all his clothes on while making financial decisions.
- 1:02:41Tim suddenly asks about Bethany McLean and whether she listened to the episode, noting he forgot to email her back but has read all her books since their last conversation.
Bullion SharkBethany McLean
- 1 min
Bethany McLean and the 9/11 Book
#A quick aside about following up with journalist Bethany McLean and Tim's struggle getting through a dense 9/11 conspiracy book full of genealogical-style connections.
2moments
- 1:03:19Tim couldn't finish the 9/11 book Bethany was reading—found it exhausting like a genealogy
- 1:03:38The book's subjects both worked for Halliburton, part of the interconnected web of people and interests it traces
- 3 min
Auctioning Off the Russ Baker Episode and Flan Cravings
#Tim and Ray joke about auctioning the awkward Russ Baker live episode to subscribers, riff about wanting flan and pound cake, and briefly consider having David Talbot back on.
5moments
- 1:04:07Tim craves flan and jokes about walking into a dry cleaner asking if they make it.
- 1:04:46Proposal to auction off the live Russ Baker episode to subscribers instead of releasing it free.
- 1:05:26Tim argues that starting an auction at five dollars creates bidding momentum and perceived value.
- 1:05:41The scarcity strategy: people assume a paid episode about secrets must contain something special compared to his thousands of free interviews.
- 1:06:49Tim references paying $2,500 for something related to the Iraq War to illustrate how expensive information acquisition works.
- 3 min
Self-Critique of Author Interviews and Morgue Memories
#Tim and Ray reflect on the show's pattern of loving authors' books but getting annoyed meeting them, muse about wanting more colorful mob-adjacent guests, and Tim recalls grim details from his old morgue job, including stuffing paper towels in skulls and stitching up shotgun wound faces.
7moments
- 1:07:19Tim and guest acknowledge the problem with their author interview format — they invite writers whose work they admire, then get angry about what they learn about them.
- 1:07:38Sometimes it's better to maintain mystery around artists rather than know details about them, like famous people's social media mistakes.
- 1:07:59The most interesting interview subjects tend to be colorful characters who don't dedicate their lives to one singular pursuit, not focused literary types.
- 1:08:32Tim questions what the audience actually wants from the show format and admits uncertainty about the direction.
- 1:08:54Tim won't interview someone just because they were involved in a crime or scandal mentioned in an article — that's not enough of a hook.
- 1:09:31Tim suggests starting to interview people from his personal past instead of chasing mainstream guests.
- 1:09:52Working at the morgue: after suicides by shotgun, staff would stuff paper towels into skulls to prop them up for ID photos during autopsy.
- 2 min
Tim runs down upcoming tour dates in Tampa, Boston, Portland, New Hampshire, Woodstock, and LA, plugs Tim Dillon Comedy's tour bus email list, and mentions his Vice Sports show.
6moments
- 1:10:32December tour dates: New Hampshire on the 13th, Portland Maine on the 14th, and Woodstock New York co-headlining with Sean Donnelly on the 15th.
- 1:10:47Luke Tuma opening for all those dates—funny kid from Boston.
- 1:11:02Sign up at Tim Dillon Comedy dot com for tour bus show announcements; no schedule yet but spring mailing planned.
- 1:11:30Bringing the tour bus show to LA probably in January or February.
- 1:11:45Actually renting a bus in LA rather than driving cross-country.
- 1:11:56This Sunday at Standing Room, 8 p.m. show.
- 4 min
An extended sponsor-style pitch for the show's devil-horn t-shirts and mugs that drifts into a debate between Tim and Ray about cotton versus polyester and Tim's excessive sweating.
10moments
- 1:12:40Shirts with devil horns put people off, especially in suburban enclaves.
- 1:12:55Tim announces a design-a-shirt contest where fans can submit artwork.
- 1:13:12The monogram mug costs $15, and they make roughly six cents per sale.
- 1:13:37Tim recommends 100% combed ring spun cotton for the shirt material.
- 1:13:55Polyester gives him rashes and doesn't wick sweat as well as cotton.
- 1:14:21Cotton has pores that allow breathability while polyester traps odor.
- 1:14:45Shirts cost $24 to $27 depending on size—described as affordable merchandise.
- 1:15:08Tim pushes back on cotton, saying he sweats through it constantly.
- 1:15:39Doctor confirmed Tim sweats significantly more than most people.
- 1:16:50Final pitch: buy the shirt and mug; use promo code HELL when subscribing.
Sloan KetheringTim Dylan
- 1 min
Tim and Ray jokingly rib the young caller Jack about his weight and age before signing off and teasing next week's guest bit about Kevin Spacey.
2moments
- 1:17:23Tim jokes that the high school kid caller isn't his type because he's kind of chubby.
- 1:17:42Tim tells the caller to get his act together and asks what he's doing all day before suggesting he come in and get fucked.