Episode 21 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Subsistence Hustlers
Nov 29, 2016 · 1:18:18 · 22 segments, 157 moments indexed
- 1 min
GaS Digital Network promo/bumper about billionaires, dictators, and CEOs, followed by network branding audio.
2moments
- 0:11Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell
- 0:23There are bad things and bad people in the world, and thank God for them
- 1 min
Tim jokes about gifting GaS Digital subscriptions to parents, riffs on moms being secret 'skanks' listening on the down-low, and tries to figure out if gift subscriptions even exist.
4moments
- 0:40Tim pitches GaS Digital subscriptions as holiday gifts for parents who might not be indulging yet.
- 0:55Maybe your dad's a real ass dude, maybe your mom's a skank—Tim encourages secret listeners to come out.
- 1:26Promo code is 'Hell' for getting involved with GaS.
- 1:43GaS is offering hundred-year memberships at a discounted price with two months free, a timeframe Tim finds optimistic.
- 3 min
Espresso Can, Sobriety, and Checking Into Rehab
#Tim notes his guest's espresso can and water bottle, reflects on being a decade sober, and tells the story of checking into the Long Island Center for Recovery in 2011 while on Percocet, only to be told he wasn't drunk enough for insurance to cover detox.
9moments
- 2:01Guest shows up to record with a can of espresso and a water bottle instead of the usual crushed Poland Spring bottles.
- 2:18Tim checks Facebook and realizes he was a drug addict for a decade, reflecting on how some people never escape that life.
- 2:32Tim went to rehab in 2011 at Long Island State Center for Recovery.
- 3:15He was taking Percocet every day like a handful in the morning, and felt like nothing compared to Rush Limbaugh taking 28 OxyContin daily.
- 3:37At rehab, Tim saw kids shooting heroin and felt like a loser for just being on pills, wondering if there should be levels of rehab.
- 4:09Tim checked into rehab partly because he was unhappy with his job and had just started stand-up, thinking it would be a nice vacation.
- 4:31At intake, the woman tells Tim the insurance won't approve his stay because he's not drunk enough.
- 4:45The rehab intake coordinator explains they need patients to blow a high blood alcohol level so they can justify detoxification for insurance to cover more than 48 hours.
- 5:08Tim acknowledges that alcohol withdrawal is medically real and dangerous, but jokes about just walking out after 10 minutes.
Rush LimbaughLong Island State Center for Recovery
- 4 min
The Rehab Insurance Scam and Getting Bought Seven Days
#Tim details the absurd back-and-forth with rehab intake staff about faking his intoxication level for insurance purposes, the profitable sober-house industry, and how the counselor ultimately lied to get him seven days.
7moments
- 5:40Insurance only pays for physical detox, so rehab staff pressured Tim to leave within 48 hours despite arriving with minimal clothes.
- 5:53Rehab counselors promise personal support in the lobby, then immediately contact insurance and order patients to leave once intake begins.
- 7:40The entire rehab industry is predicated on sober houses and facilities that generate $20,000 to $30,000 monthly per location.
- 8:08Rich kids cycle through rehab repeatedly before age 14 because they're essentially partying at the facilities.
- 8:22Tim was stuck in the woods of Long Island with no bar nearby when staff suggested he go get drunk and come back.
- 8:46After convincing patients they can succeed, staff return with insurance updates and tell them to take walks instead.
- 9:12The counselor admitted she lied on his insurance application to secure seven days of coverage, explicitly to make money.
rehab industryLong Island Center for Recoverysober houses
- 4 min
Four Friends From Rehab and the Heroin Intellectual
#Tim recalls his four rehab bunkmates, including a kid named Steve who insisted heroin had no downsides besides addiction, and compares drug experts to fat people who obsess over nutrition science.
8moments
- 9:26Tim describes meeting four bunkmates in rehab, including a Portuguese guy detoxing from alcohol.
- 9:49Steve, an intellectual kid in rehab, argued that heroin has no physical downsides besides addiction.
- 10:25Tim acknowledges Steve's argument seemed solid on the surface, just claiming addiction was the only problem.
- 10:40People in drug circles who research substances obsessively are like fat people obsessing over food science and enzymes.
- 11:33Of the four rehab friends, one named Alex from Brookville is dead now.
- 11:44Ricky, another friend from rehab, cycles through relapses and recovery posts on Facebook.
- 12:25Tim tracks Ricky's Facebook pattern: spiritual ocean photos followed by increasingly dark song lyric posts.
- 13:00Ricky's latest status quotes lyrics about refusing to exist and living limitless, signaling another relapse spiral.
- 2 min
Ricky's Facebook Relapse Posts and the MAGA Sponsor
#Tim reads aloud a rehab friend's spiraling 'renegade' Facebook posts as a sign of relapse, then discusses his old AA sponsor who now poses in front of Trump's childhood home instead of doing AA.
6moments
- 13:24Tim posts inspirational health pictures on Instagram, then follows them with filthy rest-stop cheesesteaks.
- 13:56Some people never escape cycles of self-sabotage—the quinoa-and-salad posts followed by destructive behavior repeat forever.
- 14:14People start using drugs for a reason, and once they've destroyed every relationship, there's often nothing better left.
- 14:29Tim's old AA sponsor is an extreme Trump supporter who visited Trump's childhood home and made it his profile picture.
- 14:50The sponsor has a photo of himself holding a football in Trump's childhood room—the images look like drug-induced hallucinations.
- 15:14After sobering up, many addicts exchange AA for another cult; Tim's sponsor quit AA entirely and now does Make America Great Again.
- 5 min
Long Island Grifters and Subsistence Hustlers
#Tim and his guest discuss the archetype of Long Island grifters who rent rooms, mooch off families, and 'subsistence hustle' for food, drugs, and shelter rather than big scores, including stories about his mother renting rooms to dirtbags.
10moments
- 15:30Most people's wake-up call is when their parents stop supporting them and pull the financial rug out.
- 15:58Tim describes friends who half-move out and half-pay rent while their parents cover the rest to keep the peace at home.
- 16:33Some of his friends from Long Island evolved into grifters, searching for marks to exploit.
- 16:48Tim's mother rented rooms in the house after her divorce, and renters would pose as trustworthy until establishing residency with mail.
- 17:55Grifters aren't as smart as movie depictions suggest; they prey on desperate people through low-level deception.
- 18:30His friend coined the term "subsistence hustlers" for people seeking only basic survival: food, shelter, drugs, alcohol, a car.
- 19:10One woman worked at Lifetime Hoenn on Long Island while the local pizza guy paid her rent in exchange for sex and running coke.
- 19:38Good-looking young grifters show up with nice cars and smiles, secure a place in someone's home, then stop paying rent around month three.
- 20:11Living in someone's basement is different from city apartment fraud; you see the person every day and they learn to avoid you by coming in late at night.
- 20:33Tim knew people from his youth who started using blow at thirteen, lived in hourly motels, or stayed on boats—and once trapped in that life, extracting yourself becomes nearly impossible without credit.
Long IslandLifetime HoennJackRyan
- 3 min
Two Years Without an ID and Mortgage Industry Loopholes
#Tim explains living for two years without a driver's license after losing it to tickets, getting pulled over repeatedly, and how pre-2009 mortgage origination had zero federal ID/background checks.
6moments
- 20:51Tim spent two years without an ID after his driver's license was suspended for unpaid tickets.
- 21:17A cop tells him his license has been suspended 20 times and threatens to take him to jail.
- 21:35Tim observed that at least half the people coming through for mug shots were immigrants driving without licenses, not serial offenders like him.
- 22:08Tim's strategy with cops was always to be respectful and fearful, aiming to leave the interaction as quickly as possible.
- 22:31He went to jail twice for driving without a license, but managed to function for years without official ID.
- 22:58When asked if he had to get documents notarized or show ID for mortgage work, Tim says no—once you're on the books at a company, it never came up.
New YorkJAMA
- 3 min
Crack Houses, the Sopranos Connection, and Neighborhood Mob Lore
#Tim describes his hometown's mob lineage (Henry Hill, Paulie from Goodfellas, the Sopranos inspiration), the code of silence growing up, and childhood memories of squalid drug houses.
9moments
- 23:49Tim compares the loosely regulated loan origination system pre-2008 to the Casino reference—everybody got cute and the whole industry collapsed.
- 24:06Getting above board is nearly impossible when you're broke: you need money to open a bank account, which you need for direct deposit.
- 24:34A lot of his friends chose to live a criminal lifestyle despite coming from decent families, while others with actual nightmares ended up fine.
- 24:48Tim's mom rented rooms to people early on, and they'd start out great before deteriorating.
- 25:20Tim did his first line of blow at thirteen while hanging out in a crack house on Long Island.
- 25:43As a teenager he never got to the point of robbing people because there was nobody to rob—you'd just steal from your parents on payday.
- 25:59Tim and his best friend each stole a hundred dollars from their mothers when they got paid, then would meet up to buy drugs.
- 26:13They'd meet in Oil City, some mysterious patch of land that Tim struggles to describe.
- 26:25Tim and his friend would take turns scoring drugs, sometimes one scoring when the other couldn't.
- 6 min
Doing Blow at 13 With a Pregnant Coke Head
#Tim tells the story of hanging out as a young teenager with a pregnant, coke-dealing older woman named Michelle who drove them around in a Lincoln, and how these stories horrify people in polite dinner conversation now.
10moments
- 26:35Tim describes the drug economy among teenagers in his town: buying fifty dollars worth, then going to parties to sell it.
- 26:59The shift to robbery and violence happens when people believe dealing drugs will be their entire life.
- 27:20Tim got robbed at gunpoint, but his friends confronted the robber and got the money back from out-of-town attackers.
- 27:36His town had mob-adjacent figures and coke bars, where a white pie on the menu was code for an eight ball.
- 28:05Henry Hill from Goodfellas lived in Tim's town, as did Paulie Gualtieri and Vinny Palermo, who inspired Tony Soprano.
- 28:33Growing up in an Italian town meant never ratting to cops or talking about anyone you didn't know well.
- 29:35Tim lived in a crack house upstate where former Long Island and borough residents relocated with HUD housing money.
- 30:06He describes visiting houses where the conditions were horrifying—filthy, filled with garbage and bottles, suggesting neglectful or drunk parents.
- 32:16At thirteen, Tim hung out at crack houses run by Rosie and Vinnie, who treated him and his friends as welcome guests despite their age.
- 32:28Rosie was mentally unwell with a serious drug problem, but she loved having the teenagers around anyway.
Henry HillVinny PalermoThe SopranosLatin KingsDacaville Canty familyDavid ChaseGoodfellasLa Tanza heist
- 6 min
Trying to Get Bobby Kelly on the Phone
#Tim reacts to a text from Bobby Kelly about his new FX show with Denis Leary and Jim Serpico, jokes about calling him in, and transitions toward reading the Thanksgiving murder story.
7moments
- 32:36Tim and a friend did blow with a nine-months-pregnant woman named Michelle who lived by a Domino's when they were 13 or 14.
- 33:24The pregnant woman was in her 40s and would drive them around in a Lincoln; they'd do lines with her and she'd ask if the babies were ready.
- 34:24Tim tried bringing up this story at a dinner party and everyone's face changed immediately when they realized how severe it actually was.
- 35:27Tim wants to call Bobby Kelly, who just texted him, and invite him on the podcast to discuss a wild Thanksgiving story.
- 36:34A kid went to Thanksgiving with his parents and then dismembered and dissolved them in a chemical solution—apparently over a dispute about sweet potatoes versus turnips.
- 37:21Tim fantasizes about this guy showing up to the Gas Digital Christmas party as a huge fan, escorted by police to tell them where the other bodies are.
- 38:19Tim frames the story as a brutal example of somebody pushed to an extreme limit.
Bobby KellyYKWDDave SmithDennis LearyJim SerbicoShayMichelleDomino's
- 6 min
Tim reads the USA Today story of Joel Guy Jr., who dismembered his parents in Tennessee and tried to dissolve them in an acid solution over Thanksgiving, riffing on realtor jokes and the absurdity of the crime.
10moments
- 39:08Tim describes a morgue tape from before the internet showing a kid who hung himself in a foyer after setting up a camera to capture his parents' reactions.
- 40:03Tim pitches the idea of hosting America's Funniest Home Videos with footage of people discovering their dead relatives.
- 40:48USA Today story: Joel Guy Jr. dismembered his parents and tried to dissolve them in acid over Thanksgiving.
- 41:22The 28-year-old attacked his parents with a knife, possibly tortured them, and left remains throughout a 2,256 square foot home in Tennessee.
- 41:49Realtor's perspective: the crime would have been more disturbing if the house layout hadn't been so open and airy.
- 42:22Joel used an acid-based solution made from normal household chemicals—basically a Rachel Ray recipe found on the internet—to try to destroy evidence.
- 42:59He left the house unlocked and drove back to Baton Rouge on Sunday with body parts still dissolving in jars throughout the home.
- 43:26Police arrested him Tuesday at his car in Louisiana; he'd killed both parents but left the scene with evidence still in progress.
- 44:14The motive: his parents planned to cut off his financial support during Thanksgiving and discuss discontinuing it with their unemployed son.
- 44:28Tim struggles with repeatedly saying 'the guys' while noting authorities found no life insurance motive.
Joe Michael Guy Jr.Rachel RayUSA TodayBaton Rouge, LouisianaTennessee
- 4 min
Tim and his guest play/react to neighbor interview clips calling the murder 'horrific' and unprecedented, mocking the detective's word choice and the neighbors' bewildered reactions.
7moments
- 44:53Officer didn't see anything suspicious on first drive-by, just looked in the mailbox for bodies.
- 45:28Tim jokes about the killer's plan to torture, dismember, and dissolve the victims being half-baked and poorly thought through.
- 46:04Tim explains the neighbors' reactions to the crime are the funniest part and wants to feature their commentary.
- 46:40Neighbor says it's hard to believe something like this could happen on their small cul-de-sac of Golden View Lane.
- 47:24Sheriff's detective describes the crime as reaching a new percentile of homicides, calling it special.
- 47:54Tim highlights the investigator's awkward phrasing about nobody being able to imagine the extent of the horror.
- 48:07Neighbor reflects on how they knew something tragic happened but didn't know what it was.
Joel Guy Jr.Jacobs Engineering
- 2 min
Speculating on Guy Jr.'s Motive: Cut Off and Unemployed
#Tim imagines the confrontation where Joel Guy Jr.'s parents cut off his financial support over his failed art/comedy career, riffing on him as a failed 'web series' comedian.
5moments
- 48:51Tim speculates that Guy Jr. is probably mentally ill.
- 49:20Guy Jr. had no job, unemployed, probably an artist or trying to be a comedian.
- 49:43Parents tell him they're happy his friends like it but they can't pay for it anymore and want him to have a backup plan.
- 49:55Tim describes the threat: if he keeps this up he's getting chopped up, comparing the escalating family tension.
- 50:05Guy Jr. probably voted for Trump and looks like one of Trump's minions, making the family conflict worse.
- 4 min
Social Media as the New Religion
#Tim argues social media has replaced collapsing institutions like the church, creating a need for online 'theologies' and cult-like figures such as alt-right influencers who dictate followers' entire lifestyles.
7moments
- 50:31Social media has become the operating system by which the majority of people structure their lives and psyche.
- 51:14Restaurants and corporations exploit social media by requiring hashtags and Instagram posts for discounts and free items.
- 51:43Religious institutions have experienced a dramatic drop in attendance over the past 20 years due to repeated scandals.
- 52:21Tim argues that people need something to believe in, and without traditional religion, they turn to cult-like figures online.
- 52:50On the internet, people don't just want jokes or philosophy—they want a complete theology telling them how to live.
- 53:27Both social justice warriors and alt-right groups market belief systems and values as the solution to chaos.
- 53:47These movements lack original ideas and instead unite people around the concept that 'the world's fucked up because of these guys over there.'
- 5 min
Failed Comedians, Milo, and Gavin McInnes
#Tim discusses how internet fame rewards trolling and rage-bait rather than the hard craft of stand-up, name-checking Milo Yiannopoulos, Steven Crowder, and a story about Gavin McInnes bombing at the Stand comedy club.
10moments
- 54:16Tim discusses Patton Oswalt's claim that many alt-right figures are failed comedians, and counters that many comedians are also failed comedians.
- 54:32The ability to get on stage and make diverse audiences laugh regularly, then ask to be paid for it, is something very few people can actually do.
- 55:02Tim argues the job of comedy has changed—it's now about constant content generation, trolling, and being the heel rather than actually entertaining.
- 55:29Getting on stage without knowing what will happen and having to be likable enough to make people laugh is what Tim finds fascinating about comedy.
- 55:57Milo Yiannopoulos and feminist gender theory majors screaming at each other on college campuses represents a world Tim doesn't want to be part of.
- 56:27People making money online through outrage and trolling are doing very well financially, with hundreds of thousands of followers across platforms.
- 56:57Tim says Gavin McGinnis is a nice dude, though he disagrees with some of his views, and notes that McGinnis has respect for comedy.
- 57:30Gavin McGinnis went to The Stand comedy club, took his dick out on stage, did a rape joke, and got banned—proving comedy is hard.
- 58:23People who publicly talk about helping others, the poor, and climate change often turn out to be monsters in their private lives.
- 59:02Tim observes that different online factions treat every day like a war, driven by tribalism and the rush of us-versus-them dynamics.
Gavin McInnesMilo YiannopoulosThe StandPatton OswaltSteven CrowderReductressLuis Gomez
- 3 min
Tribalism, Wired for Conflict, and Nice Guys Online
#Tim theorizes people are primally wired for tribal conflict and that online activists preaching compassion are often monstrous in private, while conservative-seeming people are often perfectly nice in person.
8moments
- 59:21People thrive on conflict because it organizes the chaos in a way they understand.
- 59:35Tim argues humans are wired for conflict the same way ancient people fought over goat meat.
- 1:00:04Society is a construct that took thousands of years to civilize people and stop them from taking whatever they want.
- 1:00:33Middle class jobs and post-war suburban stability were constructions that kept people contained in stasis.
- 1:00:58Tim recalls a Greyhound bus encounter where someone told a woman to shut up her barking chihuahua—direct and honest.
- 1:01:23Tim says he misses crack houses despite not missing drug addiction, because there was clarity in that binary existence.
- 1:01:48Story about calling a drug dealer nicknamed Buckshot at a pay phone and accidentally using the wrong name.
- 1:02:14There's something appealing about people who are just dumb and don't care what anyone thinks.
- 1 min
Missing Crack Houses and Buckshot the Dealer
#Tim reminisces fondly about the simplicity of crack addiction and tells a quick story about calling a pay-phone drug dealer nicknamed Buckshot.
2moments
- 1:02:23Tim argues that social media has forced everyone to adopt a pseudo-intellectual posture and regurgitate ideas they've read online.
- 1:02:33Online, you see people who are clearly morons trying to wheel and deal by repeating things they've picked up.
- 5 min
Everyone's a Pseudo-Intellectual Now
#Tim rants about review culture and social media forcing everyone to have a 'hot take' on everything, contrasting it with older generations who lived quiet, honorable lives without needing to broadcast opinions, and mocks hashtag activism.
10moments
- 1:02:47Tim's sketch group questions specialization—what happened to knowing a lot about one thing instead of being a pseudo-intellectual raconteur about everything?
- 1:03:11Having eaten a samosa gives people the false impression they're an expert on Indian culture and should broadcast opinions everywhere.
- 1:03:33Review culture—Amazon reviews, Yelp, endless requests for opinions—has made everyone feel obligated to share takes on things they barely understand.
- 1:04:03Our grandparents lived genuinely impressive lives without needing to document every moment; if they had to update social media constantly, their lives would seem horribly inadequate by comparison.
- 1:04:32Most people live perfectly decent, honorable lives that simply aren't that interesting, and that's fine—you don't need to write five paragraphs about trade policy if you don't understand it.
- 1:05:05Modern culture demands a hot take on every news story, which is exhausting; the happiest people Tim knows aren't on social media.
- 1:05:29Activism has become dovetailed with self-promotion—people broadcast their civic actions as a way to feel powerful rather than doing actual work.
- 1:06:03Faux activism and hashtag activism are useless; genuine activists sacrifice profitable careers to help people actually harmed by the system.
- 1:06:42Calling your congressman is performative when you don't even know when election day is and haven't bothered to understand what you're actually upset about.
- 1:07:18Activism serves a purpose, but politicians don't care whether the public disagrees with them—obstruction is the game both parties play regardless of public pressure.
Donald Trumpsocial mediaMad Dog MattisactivismSteve Israel
- 2 min
Trump Administration Wait-and-See and the Progressive Killer Bit
#Tim gives a measured take on withholding judgment on the Trump administration while joking that Joel Guy Jr., the parent-dissolving murderer, was probably a Jill Stein-voting progressive.
5moments
- 1:07:48Tim says he's waiting to see if the Trump administration strips protections from gay people and reverses progress on abortion, adding he doesn't believe it will necessarily happen but will be wrong if it does.
- 1:08:24The guy who dissolved his parents in acid was very progressive and voted for Jill Stein—he called his congressman while dissolving his mother's foot in Clorox.
- 1:08:50Tim imagines what Thanksgiving dinner might have been like before the murders, with the family praising the yams and stuffing.
- 1:09:08Tim speculates the conversation with his parents about getting a job got heated, and the son started whipping a carving knife around, with the mother possibly getting stabbed during the struggle.
- 1:09:39Tim concludes it seems like a scattershot attempt to get rid of the body, observing that dissolving people in acid is weird, but trying to do it is weirder.
Steve BannonRoe v. WadeKissingerJill Stein
- 6 min
David Icke, Son of God and Lizard People
#Tim and his guest riff extensively on conspiracy theorist David Icke, his claims about child sacrifice and reptilian elites, his failed 'I am the son of God' declaration, and his lucrative decades-long career.
9moments
- 1:10:07Tim introduces David Icke, noting he has stadium shows similar to Amy Schumer's touring model.
- 1:10:29Icke has been touring for 30 years, and Tim compares watching him to seeing Broadway shows like The Lion King.
- 1:11:11Tim describes Icke's theory about child sacrifice: children release DMT and adrenaline before being killed, their blood is consumed by elites to stay young and addicted.
- 1:11:44Hillary Clinton disproves the youth-preservation theory, since she's visibly aged and required assistance walking.
- 1:12:50Tim jokes that Icke believes children are cooked and eaten, and proposes a cookbook idea based on the conspiracy.
- 1:13:12Icke adopts every new conspiracy theory that comes along, rolling them into his existing worldview.
- 1:13:29Tim imagines Icke's take on the mortgage crisis: Countrywide Bank run by aliens called Insectoids from a planet named Subprime.
- 1:14:01David Icke initially claimed to be the Son of God during an interview, defending it by comparing himself to Jesus.
- 1:15:04When audiences didn't buy the Son of God claim, Icke pivoted to lizard people instead, reworking his bit.
David IckeHillary ClintonCountrywide Bank
- 3 min
Tim closes with a mock-motivational riff on hustling without morals, a caller shoutout, and the holiday sign-off promoting GaS Digital gift subscriptions.
6moments
- 1:16:35David Icke is a multimillionaire who had the last laugh despite his conspiracy theories.
- 1:16:55Tim argues that talking about alligator people on a worldwide platform is more valuable than legitimate work.
- 1:17:18Everyone's got a hustle—the takeaway is to get one, because you can't stay moral in the middle.
- 1:17:31Idealistic liberals who don't realize they're complicit in systemic corruption are like secretaries at Enron complaining about sexual harassment.
- 1:17:52Tim ends the show with a sign-off about having no morals and no judgment.
- 1:18:04He closes by wishing listeners a happy holiday and promoting the digital gift of gas.