Episode 2 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Pokemon and Percocet
Jul 19, 2016 · 1:03:02 · 17 segments, 119 moments indexed
- 1 min
Opening music, applause, and the show's signature intro with a baby saying 'hell.'
2moments
- 0:00Opening monologue: "I am what is inside me" repeated with confusion about its existence
- 0:33Show title card: Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell
- 1 min
Tim welcomes listeners, thanks GAS Digital Network, explains the promo code 'hell' for subscribing and getting access to the network's other shows like Legion of Skanks and Part of the Problem.
2moments
- 0:50A real baby says the word 'hell' on the show intro.
- 1:00Tim promotes GAS Digital Network with promo code 'hell' for access to his show and others like Legion of Skanks and Part of the Problem for about $6.50 a month.
- 2 min
Tim runs through a grim week of news (Dallas and Baton Rouge police killings, the Nice terror attack, the failed Turkish coup) juxtaposed absurdly against his own great week eating burrata at Quality Meats.
4moments
- 1:43Tim notes that podcasts usually have relatively stable weeks between episodes, but this time there's been a race war and the world is falling apart.
- 2:06Multiple police killings in Dallas and Baton Rouge, a terrorist attack in Nice with nearly 100 deaths, and a suspicious coup attempt in Turkey that Erdogan may have staged to consolidate power.
- 2:42Tim pivots to a great burrata he had at Quality Meats with green summer strawberries, which was phenomenal.
- 3:08The burrata was prepared with fig balsamic, and Tim reflects that global catastrophe and personal dining experiences impact people very differently.
Recep Tayyip ErdoğanNice, France terrorist attackDallas police killingsQuality Meats
- 3 min
Thinking It Was Terrorism, It Was Just Pokemon
#Tim tells the story of walking down Fifth Avenue at night, seeing a frenzied crowd running and assuming it was a terrorist attack, only to learn they were chasing a Pokemon in Central Park.
5moments
- 3:36Tim walks down Fifth Avenue at night and sees a large group of people running in a frenzied panic.
- 4:44He immediately assumes a terrorist attack is happening and reflects on the timing—his career is finally going well.
- 5:07Tim contrasts this moment with previous years when he prayed for death every day on tour buses.
- 5:44He joins the running crowd without understanding what's happening, refusing to run hard because he won't die undignified.
- 6:21A kid explains it's just Pokemon in the park, not a terrorist attack.
- 2 min
Crashing a Private School Graduation Party
#Tim describes crashing his friend Michelle Wentz's daughter's graduation party at the Norwood Club for kids from the Professional Children's School, meeting a child CEO and the actor who played Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, and pushing 9/11-style conspiracy questions on him.
7moments
- 6:36Tim crashed a private school graduation party at the Norwood Club, a downtown private club.
- 6:57Michelle Wentz, an Emmy-winning producer and friend, invited him to her daughter's graduation party.
- 7:39He expected a typical Long Island catering hall graduation, but this was the Professional Children's School where all the kids were already professionals.
- 8:07One small kid told Tim he was the CEO of a company and stared at him coldly.
- 8:33Actor Alex Wolf, who played the Boston bomber in a film, was at the party, and Tim immediately asked him if he thought the Boston bombing was fishy.
- 8:47Tim pressed Alex Wolf on whether the feds had more involvement in the Boston bombing, then asked what he really knew about the CIA.
- 8:59Tim started friending the kids on Facebook, which he acknowledges was wildly inappropriate.
Michelle WentzHa, the MusicalAlex WolfBig J OchresenLuis GomezProfessional Children's SchoolBoston bombing
- 3 min
Tim introduces guest Alex Steinberg, a young filmmaker who made a Pokemon Go documentary, riffing on millennials, making Tim wear a homemade Pokemon hat, and beginning to explain how Pokemon Go works.
6moments
- 9:33Tim introduces a kid with a Pokemon Go documentary but admits he still doesn't know what the game is.
- 10:35Alex Steinberg introduces himself as the guest with the Pokemon Go knowledge and leather jacket.
- 11:08Alex spotted 200 people gathered in a park corner all playing Pokemon Go at once.
- 11:20Tim asks for an explanation pretending to be a 31-year-old who's bad with email and did cocaine at age 12.
- 11:32Alex made Tim a homemade Pokemon hat using white-out and a Sharpie with Ash Ketchum's design.
- 11:49Alex begins explaining the world of Pokemon to Tim as a complete newcomer to the franchise.
- 6 min
Alex explains the basics of Pokemon Go (pokeballs, catching, Poke Stops), leading Tim into riffs about animal fighting, dog rescues on the Upper West Side, and a comparison of nostalgia between generations.
10moments
- 12:01Alex explains how Pokemon Go works: you throw pokeballs to capture animals.
- 12:18Tim notes Pokemon is essentially animal fighting and reminisces about dog fighting as an event everyone enjoyed.
- 12:32Dogs don't want to be wheeled around the Upper West Side in a bassinet by barren women dressed like people—it's disgusting.
- 12:55Someone played the Pokemon theme song from an iPhone speaker in his backpack and everyone sang along.
- 13:37Pokemon Go uses augmented reality—the phone camera shows Pokemon in real life and you swipe to catch them.
- 14:32Tim compares Pokemon Go to people voluntarily walking into death camps, viewing it as mass disconnection from real-world stress.
- 14:59Forty-year-old adults are posting pictures with Snapchat filters of fox ears, which confuses and scares Tim.
- 15:42Pokemon Go unites people because everyone watched the show and played the games as a child across all races and genders.
- 16:18Pokemon Go added about $8 billion to Nintendo and has a larger active user base than Snapchat and Twitter after being out one week.
- 16:42Tim's conspiracy theory friends say Pokemon Go is a distraction from protests, similar to Snapchat building a facial recognition database for the NSA.
- 3 min
Discussion of Pokemon Go's explosive user base compared to Snapchat and Twitter, Snapchat filters making people look good, and Tim's conspiracy-minded friends theorizing the game is a government distraction.
6moments
- 17:49Guest explains he started filming Pokemon Go interviews on his iPhone after hearing people say funny things while playing the game.
- 18:19Tim confuses Kotaku with a sushi restaurant and makes a low-hanging fruit race joke, then defends the need for easy material alongside serious comedy.
- 18:56Tim refuses to be talked down to, listing his credentials including appearances on Sesame Street, Broadway in Annie Get Your Gun, and inventing professional children's school.
- 19:34Guest considers making his next documentary either about defeating ISIS or Pokemon.
- 19:53Tim reacts to learning that couples have been formed because of Pokemon Go, then expresses shock that someone assumed a child was already coming into the world from it.
- 20:12Tim jokes that pedophiles must feel like Pokemon Go lured people into their area without anyone catching on to them.
Pokemon GoKotakuGawkerAnnie Get Your GunSesame StreetComedy Central
- 5 min
They watch clips from Alex's documentary, including a homeless 'Pokemon trainer' who's slept in the park for four days and a woman jumping park gates at 3am to catch Pokemon, with Tim riffing on health insurance politics, and his own raccoon-feeding story in Central Park.
8moments
- 21:19Tim notes the homeless man confessed to sleeping on the street in the same clothes for four days straight.
- 21:47The homeless man's trainer name is Dankisard — a Pokémon trainer, not a person with an actual job.
- 22:28Tim imagines getting involved in Pokémon training and becoming great at it, like Trump would.
- 24:03A woman was catching Pokémon at 3am in Central Park with a homeless guy sleeping next to her.
- 24:19Tim pictures a psychopath jumping over gates in Central Park trying to catch imaginary cartoons while homeless people try to sleep.
- 24:38The homeless guy helped her catch them, even though they're not real — he's questioning why he's homeless while people chase fictional creatures.
- 24:56The homeless guy is used to being the crazy one, but the park has been invaded by people far more insane than him.
- 25:27Since the park was decriminalized for Pokémon Go, it's safer because everyone's just playing the game instead of doing drugs or murdering people.
PokemonCentral ParkPokemon Unite NYCHiroshima
- 7 min
They discuss legendary Pokemon like Mew and Vaporeon, deceptive stampedes to fake sightings, cops playing on duty, Charizard steak jokes, and Tim riffing on rich Fifth Avenue neighbors reacting to millennial Pokemon hordes.
10moments
- 25:49Tim encounters a lunatic woman in Central Park feeding raccoons organic turkey and knows all their names.
- 26:25The raccoons started eyeing Tim as a threat to their food source and began organizing against him.
- 26:50Pokemon Go is bringing everyone together across races and genders, which Tim sees as a good thing.
- 27:15People hostile to Pokemon Go are the same ones who were discussing criminal justice inequities three days prior.
- 27:36Someone called Tim a Snorlax, the fattest Pokemon, and he wanted to beat the shit out of them for it.
- 28:49Central Park is the hotspot for Pokemon Go, but Fifth Avenue residents paying $20 million for apartments probably aren't thrilled about millennials catching Pokemon outside their homes.
- 29:34Five Poke Stops in Central Park attract people with lures, and criminals are now robbing and stabbing Pokemon players.
- 30:24Tim used to buy cocaine in the Bronx and explains that good coke has a yellow tinge because white coke has been stepped on.
- 30:57Mew is a legendary Pokemon—only one exists in the entire Pokemon world and it's the most powerful.
- 31:45People have made real friendships in the park through Pokemon Go, with groups coordinating on Facebook to play together.
Pokemon GoCentral ParkBronxComptonFifth AvenueJane ReitzmanJacqueline Kennedy
- 6 min
They watch the documentary's standout clip of a man saying Pokemon unites everyone like his deceased brother watching from heaven, which Tim compares absurdly to ISIS rhetoric, then jokes about the Cipriani-looking man in another clip and mocks Brazilian tourists on Fifth Avenue.
10moments
- 32:55Stampede in a park for a Vaporeon GPS signal in the middle of a lake, then someone lies about a Snorlax and causes everyone to run to a nonexistent Pokemon.
- 33:45Tim argues Pokemon brings people together and creates friendships, countering the claim it distracts from social change.
- 34:02Truck driver might have just been trying to catch a Pokemon instead of committing an act of terrorism.
- 34:14Tim jokes that a terrorist attack could have been someone trying to catch a Charizard instead of Islamic radicalism.
- 35:30Tim's delusional New York comedian friends called Donald Trump a fame whore on Facebook while sleeping outside comedy clubs for bit parts and web show appearances.
- 36:15Guest disagrees that the Pokemon documentary subject is a lunatic, calling him one of the nicest guys.
- 36:49Tim says his dead brother would probably have a better Pokemon collection than he does if he were still alive.
- 37:02Pokemon clip subject claims that despite all the violence and racism in the world, everyone at the event is having a good time and that's what the world needs.
- 37:34Tim compares the Pokemon enthusiasm to what ISIS says about dead members in heaven with virgins, noting both involve better collections in the afterlife.
- 38:09Tim imagines heaven as just people catching Pokemon, suggesting that would be great.
- 3 min
Alex talks about wanting to be a filmmaker and his history making home movies, then Ray comes in to co-host as Tim recaps how surprisingly good a guest Alex has been.
8moments
- 38:18Tim mentions the hat worn in Alex's film shows up at one point in the documentary.
- 38:42Random man leaving Cipriani in the film was just a guy walking out across the street, not Alex's dad.
- 39:03Tim riffs on a conversation that might have happened inside Cipriani about removing rent control and starting fires.
- 39:28If you're really cool, you go to Doubles, a private club on Fifth Avenue.
- 39:54Alex says his goal was always to be a filmmaker, making little movies since he was eight or younger with flip cameras.
- 40:20Tim admits he didn't know how good a guest Alex would be and thought he might be horrific.
- 40:33Alex joked his mom was coming on the show last night, and Tim initially thought he was serious until he saw the typing bubbles.
- 40:47Ray arrives and joins the show for the last couple of minutes.
CiprianiAzerbaijanFifth AvenueDoubles
- 5 min
Melania's Speech Plagiarism and Trump Campaign Chaos
#Tim and Ray riff on Melania Trump's convention speech plagiarizing Michelle Obama, Corey Lewandowski's ouster, Trump's new campaign advisor's shady PR past, and Alex Jones' pro-Trump rally rant about 'globalists.'
7moments
- 42:38Someone on Trump's speech-writing team got Melania to plagiarize Michelle Obama's speech, and Tim wonders who orchestrated this dirty trick.
- 42:58The Trump campaign scheduled Melania's speech earlier than planned, wasting a half hour and making her look bad.
- 43:27Tim argues the plagiarism narrative is no coincidence and suspects deliberate sabotage within the campaign.
- 43:40Trump's new campaign manager is some guy who did PR work for tyrants in Eastern Europe.
- 44:15Alex Jones is legitimately leading a pro-Trump rally in Cleveland, telling people with podcasts and internet shows to fight the globalists.
- 44:39Tim notes the absurdity of the 2016 election and admits he doesn't know who he's voting for.
- 45:03Someone called Tim 'Snorlax,' the fattest Pokemon, and then added that Snorlax is a racist.
Alex JonesMelania TrumpCorey LewandowskiMichelle ObamaDonald Trump
- 6 min
A debate over whether Snorlax is canonically racist, followed by Tim pushing back hard on Alex's claim that Pokemon Go is meaningfully bringing different races and generations together.
10moments
- 45:38Tim skeptical that Pokemon Go actually brings races together or creates understanding between people.
- 46:02The logical link: meeting people of different ethnicities through the game might actually reduce racism among players who befriend someone.
- 46:43Tim notes Pokemon Go players have taken over the Upper East Side where he walks late at night, inviting the guest to play on Fifth Avenue at 59th Street.
- 47:14Planning a video about playing Pokemon Go at JG Melons, catching a Snorlax while people eat burgers.
- 47:49Tim explains that in story mode, anyone can steal Pokemon from you.
- 48:22Describing the street dancers and workers outside the catering hall near his block—Mexican guys and an Indian singer always falling over and having fun.
- 49:02Tim considering going to Central Park one day to try playing Pokemon Go, uncertain if there's a gym in East New York.
- 49:33Games that use maps and send people outside to capture Pokemon represent the future because they bring people together.
- 50:18At 13 years old Tim was sniffing coke and driving around with a 24-year-old named Hector, whose girlfriend Sonya stole a gram of blow and Hector said he hoped their house caught fire.
- 50:59Tim joking that if Hector and Sonya had Pokemon Go maybe they wouldn't have hated each other—Pokemon Go is the new drug.
Pokemon GoHectorSonyaUpper East SideJG MelonsBobby FischerSpasskyCentral Park
- 6 min
Growing Up Without Cell Phones and Hector and Sonia's Drug Days
#Tim contrasts his own childhood without phones or Pokemon Go to today's kids, tells a story about drug-dealing acquaintances Hector and Sonia falling out over stolen coke, and riffs on the future of augmented reality games.
9moments
- 51:17Tim grew up without a cell phone and would get lost, unlike kids today with Pokemon Go.
- 51:47Tim predicts a rare Charizard spawn will draw crowds into the streets and create a perfect opportunity for an assassination.
- 52:19The guest tweets self-promotional content about his Pokemon documentary with minimal followers and doesn't follow Tim back on Twitter.
- 53:47Tim's millennial outreach is weak after being asked if he's a millennial influencer at a meeting.
- 54:12Tim describes a pitch for a show about eating late-night food with social media stars, which he found pointless.
- 54:36Discussion of a FIFA soccer YouTuber with millions of followers who funds his own gaming league.
- 55:13Tim tells a story about giving a toast at a graduation party for a girl he'd never met.
- 55:40Tim's written advice for the daughter was about McDonald's policy: buy one thing and sit for half an hour before security kicks you out.
- 56:11Tim notes that people with money are easy to be laid back, unlike the insane celebrities and broke people he knows.
McDonald'sPokemon GoPewDiePieDonald Trump
- 3 min
Tim mocks Alex for having only a handful of Twitter followers and not following him back, riffs on being mistakenly called a 'millennial influencer,' and jokes about YouTube stars like the FIFA-playing millionaire and PewDiePie.
7moments
- 57:04Favorite directors are David Fincher and the Coen brothers.
- 57:31Tim wants to have Leo, Michelle's 11-year-old kid, on the podcast.
- 58:09Michelle suggested Tim and Jay do blackface on the show, completely innocently.
- 58:37Olivia warned that doing blackface would get Tim shot and killed.
- 58:59Tim likes Michelle and her family because they're cool and respect each other's privacy.
- 59:18Tim's own family was never cool; his dad builds world model trains.
- 59:43Tim used to live across from Tufts in Medford and headline at the Davis Square Theatre.
Coen brothersMichelleDavis Square TheatreTuftsDavid FincherOliviaQuentin Tarantino
- 3 min
Tim plugs upcoming shows including Empire Casino in Yonkers, Vermont Comedy Club with Dan Soder, and Chris Gethard dates, promotes his social media and GAS Digital again, and Alex plugs his documentary and Twitter before the show wraps.
8moments
- 1:00:27Tim announces he'll be performing at Empire Casino in Yonkers on August 18th and 19th, calling it a real event.
- 1:00:48He's doing shows with Dan Soder at the Vermont Comedy Club, describing Soder as one of the funniest guys ever.
- 1:01:02He jokes about having only 300 Facebook friends left and promises to dump his actual family once he hits 5,000 to fill it with Twitter followers.
- 1:01:46Tim plugs a comedy show he's doing this Saturday at a yard sale in New Jersey.
- 1:02:02He promotes GAS Digital with promo code 'hell' and tells people to watch Pokemon Go, Unite NYC.
- 1:02:15His Twitter handle is listed as at Steinberg Films, with a Pokemon Go link pinned there.
- 1:02:29The host compliments Tim as a great kid with a future in directing.
- 1:02:43Final call to subscribe and jump on social media before signing off.
Dan SoderGaS DigitalEmpire Casino in YonkersVermont Comedy ClubPokemon GoChris Gethard