rant · moment 1 of 17
Defending Armie Hammer's Cannibalism Fetish
from The Tim Dillon Show #334 · #334
5 min
Tim opens by arguing Armie Hammer's alleged rape scandal is really just an extreme, misunderstood fetish about eating people, riffing on how Hammer's extreme attractiveness has left him bored with normal sex and craving cannibalistic fantasy.
- Tim explains why he never understood the Armie Hammer controversy, since the cannibalism fantasies were just fetish material between consenting adults.
- If Hammer's cannibalism interest stayed in the realm of fantasy with no actual violence, Tim questions why people are kink-shaming him for it.
- Tim's theory: Hammer is so attractive that normal sex stopped being interesting around age 17, so he needs the cannibalism fantasy to stay aroused.
- Hammer has already done every conventional fantasy—beaches, private jets, orgies with women from every race—so eating someone is now the only thing that gets him off.
- Tim proposes reading the actual DMs Hammer sent to see if they're as bad as claimed, then reviewing his apology.
- Authorities investigated but couldn't conclusively prove rape charges, so Tim remains skeptical about the severity of the allegations.
- Tim jokes about sending the "be my property" message to a Postmates driver as a prank, noting it only becomes offensive if sent to a Black woman.
- Reading Hammer's fantasy about cutting off a toe and keeping it in his pocket—Tim finds the message sexually arousing while simultaneously confused by his own reaction.