rant · moment 12 of 12
Closing Fantasy: Christmas 2030 and the Bentley Flying Spur of Genitals
from The New Braveheart | The Tim Dillon Show #344 · #344
6 min
He extends the genital-quality bit into an elaborate imagined future Christmas scene in 2030 with his son's non-binary partner praising him as a supportive father, ending with a heaven scene where God tells him he did everything right.
- If his son wanted a vagina, Tim would want it to be top of the line, not a diseased wreck.
- Tim wants his son to have the Bentley Flying Spur of genitals.
- On Christmas morning, Tim imagines his son showing the family his new anatomy and Tim saying he wishes he wasn't a man so he could use it.
- Tim's husband tells him to stop joking about his son's genitals; Tim clarifies it's actually his daughter and that he's kidding.
- A non-binary, transracial, demisexual person shows up to pick up Tim's son, who still identifies with he/she pronouns.
- The visitor tells Tim's son how lucky he is that his father jokes about his anatomy, wishing his own father had shown that kind of support.
- Tim tells his son he has the best genitals because Tim worked hard—touring, flying, doing podcasts—so his son could have quality anatomy.
- Tim describes his son's future sexual experience as being like a Flume ride at an amusement park, because of the investment Tim made.
- Tim tells his son to remember him every time he touches his genitals, because of what his father did for him.
- In heaven, God tells Tim he did everything right in his parenting, which Tim says is ironic because it's exactly what you should have done.