rant · moment 11 of 12
The Gay Dad Fantasy: Wanting the Best Genitals for His Kids
from The New Braveheart | The Tim Dillon Show #344 · #344
10 min
Tim spins out an extended, escalating bit imagining himself as a gay dad demanding top-quality surgical results (a "wet" vagina, a big pink penis) for his trans son and daughter, riffing on inspecting the results, green infected tissue, and advice to fathers to "ask to see" their kid's new anatomy.
- Tim insists on improving genitals for children rather than letting them die or suffer infections.
- Gay dad fantasy: adopting a trans son who comes home wanting a vagina, then complains the lips are green at Christmas.
- Tim's pre-transition experience with women never turned up a green pussy, so he's skeptical of the medical outcome.
- Son's newly purchased vagina is ravaged by necrotizing fasciitis after he refuses to listen to dad's warnings.
- Neighbor's trans kid Ralph had to use bowel tissue for his vagina because puberty blockers left insufficient penis tissue.
- Tim wants better genitals for all his children—thick, pink, functional penises for daughters who want them.
- In ten years parents will be giving their kids realistic fake genitals for Christmas and scheduling surgical attachment appointments.
- Serious point: can't build genitals out of bowels; need better materials so transgender kids have functional, wet anatomy.
- Compared E. coli and salmonella risks from genital surgery to raw cookie dough—transition should be safe and cost-effective with family involvement.
- Fathers should ask their trans sons to see their new vaginas without embarrassment—just checking the doctors did good work.