News · moment 12 of 14
Taco Bell Lettuce Deaths and Nostalgia
from Overboard in Iran, Savannah Guthrie, & ICE Electric Gloves | The Tim Dillon Show #508 · #508
8 min
News
Tim defends Taco Bell as sacred nostalgia, tells a story about a friend's diced tomato hidden in her car, then covers news of a parasitic lettuce outbreak linked to Taco Bell that killed two people in Michigan, riffing on their deaths with dark humor about the Taco Bell crunch sound.
- Taco Bell as nostalgic junk food for teenagers getting high.
- The story of the friend with the clean car who secretly ate Taco Bell, leaving one perfectly diced tomato on the dashboard.
- Tim mourns the lettuce outbreak deaths while joking about using the parasite as an excuse to get out of things.
- News report confirms two deaths in Michigan linked to Taco Bell's Mexican lettuce and cyclospore outbreak.
- Tim uses the Taco Bell crunch sound as a eulogy for the victims, imagining it as the last thing they heard.
- Tim proposes how he'd deliver a moment of silence at their funeral using the Taco Bell crunch.
- Complaints about Taco Bell quality control when the filling leaks out and looks like feces.
- Tim hopes the victims' final meal was at least a good burrito before they shit themselves to death.
- Tim explains why Taco Bell's CEO only cares about deaths, not general illness among customers.
- Taco Bell's official statement about removing the affected lettuce while Tim speculates the victims were found in their cars with crunch wrap wrappers.
- Tim describes the morbid image of bodies discovered pooled in feces with Taco Bell wrappers.