Episode 489 · The Studio Revamp
Melania’s Humanoid, Missing Scientists, & A Podcast Scam | The Tim Dillon Show #489
Mar 28, 2026 · 1:14:07 · 1,000,000 views · 13 segments, 88 moments indexed
Tim discusses the LaGuardia airport crash, an interesting email that he thought was from Amy Poehler, Melania Trump unveiling the humanoid robot “Plato” at the White House, the current status of the Iran War, and the mysterious…
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- 1 min
Brief musical opening with applause before Tim begins speaking.
1moment
- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show
- 4 min
LaGuardia Plane Crash and Rethinking Air Travel
#Tim reacts to the deaths of two pilots at LaGuardia, describes the airport's dangerous layout near Rikers Island, and argues the air travel system is at a breaking point. He riffs on people needlessly flying to visit relatives, imagining a trip to see a sister in Fort Lauderdale ending in mid-tier steakhouse small talk.
6moments
- Tim says he's been flying a long time and has never felt less safe on a tarmac—the system seems at a breaking point with too many people flying.
- LaGuardia is a terrible airport with only two runways, too short for international aircraft, sitting right next to Rikers Island.
- Tim describes the LaGuardia crash as indicative of a broken system, then notes that Air Canada, the airline involved, is actually pretty safe.
- Tim advises people to seriously consider whether they actually need to travel right now, and to push trips off if possible.
- He questions whether people really need to visit relatives in Fort Lauderdale when half the time is spent traveling.
- Tim describes the typical pointless trip: going to a mid-tier steakhouse in Boca, hoping a fire truck doesn't hit the runway so you can eat truffle mac and cheese and listen to your sister talk.
- 11 min
The Amy Poehler 'Good Hang' Podcast Booking Scam
#Tim recounts receiving a scam email pretending to book him on Amy Poehler's podcast, checking with industry friends and his manager who reveals it's a widespread scam targeting unemployed LA entertainers for their bank information, and imagines a family in Encino getting scammed and humiliated.
10moments
- Tim receives an email claiming Amy Poehler wants him on her podcast, which immediately seems suspicious.
- The Good Hang podcast pitches itself as featuring 'candid conversations' but mostly involves asking guests what time they go to sleep.
- Tim wonders why Amy Poehler would want him on the show when she books A-list talent and he might rant about Iran.
- The email mentions 'competitive compensation,' which Tim's manager immediately identifies as the tell-tale sign of a scam.
- Tim calls people in LA to verify if the booking is real, and they confirm it's 'very possibly' legitimate.
- His manager reveals the email is part of a widespread scam, with the next step being requests for bank account information.
- Out-of-work comedians in LA, desperate for income, have been falling for the scam and telling their families they booked Amy Poehler's show.
- Tim describes a family dinner in Encino where an actor tells his wife and kids that Amy Poehler booked him, to their celebration.
- Three days later, the same family discovers the booking email was fake and the father's bank account has been drained after he provided his information.
- Nothing is funnier, Tim concludes, than a guy having to explain to his wife that their frozen accounts resulted from falling for the Good Hang podcast scam.
Amy PoehlerThe Good HangLos AngelesAriana Grandepodcast scamsViola DavisJonathan GroffMeryl Streep+1 more
- 1 min
A straightforward sponsor read for Mint Mobile's $15/month wireless plan.
2moments
- Traditional wireless carriers nickel-and-dime customers with crazy high bills and bogus fees disguised as free perks.
- Tim pitches Mint Mobile as the fix: premium wireless for $15 a month instead of overpaying out of habit.
- 16 min
Melania, Sara Netanyahu, and the Humanoid Robot 'Plato' for Third World Schools
#Tim watches and reacts to a clip of Melania Trump, Sara Netanyahu, and Brigitte Macron unveiling humanoid robots (including one called Plato) meant to replace teachers in the developing world, riffing on the absurdity, the robot accidentally saying 'kill' in multiple languages, and connecting it to job losses and AI anxiety among Trump voters.
12moments
- Tim introduces Melania Trump and Sara Netanyahu as lovely people, then reveals they're promoting humanoid robots.
- Melania's walkout next to the humanoid robot—she doesn't have it yet, Tim observes, noting she won't be replaced.
- The program aims to replace human teachers with robots in the third world, removing workers who get sick and need payment.
- Sending humanoid robots to the third world could scare kids there, since they still believe in witches and don't even have PlayStations.
- Trump voters elected him for prosperity and to regain ground, but got massive spending on foreign wars and AI programs instead.
- The robot is saying the word kill in every different language during its multilingual introduction.
- This is the most globalist administration ever—spending money to build robots and ship them to the third world instead of helping America.
- Melania's plan: a robot called Plato comes to your house to teach your kids in the comfort of your home.
- Tim's interpretation: Plato's coming whether you want it or not, with skills to help the whole family.
- Plato tells children when they're being anti-Semitic, has no tolerance for bad behavior, and tells them the government loves them.
- How is having a robot teach you things more well-rounded than having a human being do it, and how does it free them up for better lifestyle?
- If you voted for a humanoid robot named Plato teaching your children in your house, then that's pretty cool, I guess.
Melania TrumpArtificial IntelligenceBrigitte MacronSara NetanyahuBenjamin NetanyahuFriend of the show
- 2 min
Tim promotes Quince clothing, praising the quality and ethical manufacturing standards while contrasting it with horror stories about exploitative factory conditions elsewhere.
4moments
- Tim got a cashmere sweater from Quince and people constantly compliment it.
- Tim emphasizes that ethical factory standards matter to him when choosing clothes.
- Factory workers in other countries are chained to equipment, beaten for asking to use the bathroom, and sometimes work alongside their children.
- Quince factories don't engage in that abuse, which is one of Tim's favorite things about the brand.
Quincefactory labor practices
- 3 min
Tim reads about allegations DoorDash shared users' precise location data without consent, riffing that he's relieved his mother is dead so he doesn't have to explain the privacy violation to her, before plugging a lawsuit sign-up service.
4moments
- DoorDash tracked users' precise locations and shared them with third-party companies without consent.
- Tim says he's grateful his mother is dead so he doesn't have to explain the DoorDash privacy violation to her.
- He contrasts people with living mothers having to break the news about location tracking versus being relieved his mother won't find out.
- Tim realizes he's encouraging people to sue DoorDash through the sponsored segment disclaimer.
- 10 min
Tim goes through news that Iran rejected a US ceasefire proposal, discusses J.D. Vance, Kushner, Witkoff, and Rubio's negotiations, Iran's demands over the Strait of Hormuz, and argues the war was launched on faulty intelligence about an imminent regime collapse and nuclear weapon, comparing it to the Iraq War yellowcake lies.
11moments
- Tim describes the whiplash of conflicting war announcements: ceasefire declared, then another aircraft carrier deployed, then invasion plans floated, then denied.
- Iran rejects the US peace plan and demands guarantees that the US and Israel won't resume attacks, plus reparations and recognition of its authority over the Straits of Hormuz.
- Russia and China have supposedly told Israel through back channels that nuclear weapons use against Iran will trigger nuclear retaliation, preventing escalation.
- The US compiled a 15-point peace proposal delivered by Pakistan, with J.D. Vance, Kushner, Witkoff, and Rubio negotiating to end the war they started.
- Iran has shown a tremendous ability to withstand attacks from the US and Israel without regime collapse and to strike US bases and allies effectively.
- Tim argues there's no clearly defined mission for what winning looks like—regime change won't happen, massive troop deployments are off the table, and the cockamamie idea that Iranians would overthrow their government after killing the Ayatollah during Ramadan was fantasy.
- The idea that a pro-Western government would emerge overnight is silly and based on lies presented by Israeli intelligence, not a conspiracy but well-documented.
- Intelligence about Iranian regime collapse and nuclear weapons development was given to the US and believed, launching a war on pretenses that are now in question.
- Human intelligence, where people in other governments feed information to agencies like Mossad and the CIA, is easily manipulated and cherry-picked—unlike satellite data showing troop movements.
- Tim calls this war a death knell for the Trump coalition's transparency promises, especially coming after refusing to release the full Epstein list.
- Putin is making $760 million a day from oil as the Iran war delivers a windfall, and US interventions repeatedly embolden enemies and produce the opposite effect intended.
IranDonald TrumpJD VanceCIAMarco RubioIsraelMossadJeffrey Epstein+9 more
- 1 min
Tim briefly notes Putin is making $760 million a day from oil due to the Iran war, riffing on how US foreign policy always seems to backfire and enrich adversaries like Russia via sanctions relief and China trade.
2moments
- Russia converts its economy into a wartime economy while cozying up with China, India, and Brazil.
- Tim argues that attacking Iran forced the U.S. to lift sanctions on Russian oil, allowing Putin to profit massively.
- 1 min
A sponsor read for Gusto's payroll and benefits software for small businesses.
- 1 min
A sponsor read for ShipStation's e-commerce shipping management platform.
3moments
- Tim explains the secret to making an e-commerce business work: ShipStation connects over 200 sales channels into one place instead of five to seven disconnected tools.
- ShipStation compares rates across USPS, UPS, FedEx, and other carriers to find the best shipping option on every order.
- One million businesses have trusted ShipStation; the service offers 60 days free with full access at shipstation.com using code TIM.
- 14 min
Tim discusses a string of disappearances and deaths among US scientists tied to classified aerospace and UFO-related programs, including General McCasland and NASA engineer Reza, and recounts an old story of a mysterious DC bar conversation in 2004 about hidden power structures that don't want people to own homes or cars.
18moments
- Tim describes the pattern of disappearing scientists allegedly connected to UFO technology.
- Stop hiking, folks—Tim's recurring warning against hiking in the Southwest.
- Tim admits he's never been able to care about aliens despite multiple attempts and references to Tim Burchett and Tucker Carlson.
- The theory: a secret global race to reverse-engineer technology from downed alien craft, with involvement from China, Russia, and the US.
- General McCasland allegedly worked with recovered UFO technology from Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, linked to the 1947 Roswell crash.
- Tim recalls a conversation in DC around 2004 with a stranger at a hotel bar who predicted the future of society.
- The stranger told Tim: "They don't want people to own houses"—a claim that proved prophetic.
- The stranger explained they want everyone to eventually rent and lease rather than own, making people easier to control.
- When Tim asked if it was the CIA, the stranger said the known intelligence agencies aren't at the top—there are levels above them.
- The stranger predicted companies wouldn't employ people full-time to avoid paying for healthcare and retirement benefits.
- Tim connects the conversation back to classified scientists and black projects operating above top secret, beyond Congress and possibly the president's knowledge.
- Tim talks to smart people who believe something real is happening with these disappearances and classified projects.
- Tim says he'll only care about aliens when they land on the White House lawn Mars Attack-style and bite JD Vance's head off.
- Melissa Casias, an administrative assistant at Los Alamos, disappeared on June 26th, bringing the missing scientist count to six.
- Casias's phones were found wiped clean after a factory reset, suggesting the disappearance may not be voluntary.
- Tim concludes: we don't know and we don't care, though he hopes they return to their families unless they need to save the world.
- Tim doesn't want to be the one solving alien metal puzzles in underground laboratories—that's someone else's life.
- Tim emphasizes the distinction: that's your life, not mine.
JD VanceMonica Jacinto RezaTucker CarlsonWilliam Neil McCaslandMelissa CasiasTim BurchettLos Alamos National LaboratoryArea 51+5 more
- 9 min
No Sympathy for Kidnapped Secret Scientists
#Tim argues that scientists and researchers who work on classified alien-tech or weapons programs deep underground have no right to complain if they get kidnapped or killed, since they chose an 'interesting life,' contrasting this with sympathy for ordinary bystanders, and closes imagining an alien coworker complaining about Israel.
15moments
- Tim's position: if you get kidnapped while working on secret government projects, that's a consequence of your choices.
- Top secret scientists at Los Alamos losing their security clearance due to financial trouble makes them targets for blackmail.
- Every movie features a broke genius—the guy with no money who's still a genius eventually sent to space.
- Tim refuses to feel sympathy for kidnapped scientists who chose an interesting life working on classified projects.
- Life can get too interesting: people want stakes and meaning, but interesting can cross into kidnapping and underground labs.
- Astrophysicist Nuno Loureiro was killed at his home in Boston by a former classmate over a science disagreement.
- Working with particles and electrons in secret government labs inevitably leads to kidnapping—it's part of the job.
- Interesting life is getting tortured by the Chinese to give up spacecraft secrets; the boring life is eating goat cheese salad in Boca.
- Astrophysicist Carl Grillmair was shot on his front porch after contributing to the discovery of water on a distant planet.
- Tim's assessment: getting shot on the porch is what being a genius is—it's the nature of the work.
- Tim won't cry for someone snatched from a secret lab; that's their journey, and he hopes the government wins the technology race.
- Secret government astrophysicists have made their bed and don't deserve sympathy the way a Walmart worker shot by a homeless person does.
- Tim has no sympathy for scientists in Area 51 standing next to aliens, fiddling with ships that crashed decades ago.
- Tim jokes that scientists better have results if they're working on a super secret alien program in an underground base.
- The U.S. is also kidnapping people trying to steal this information, and may have already kidnapped these scientists—who knows what's happening.
Carl GrillmairLos Alamos National LaboratoryClaudio Neves ValenteNuno LoureiroChinaGazaRoswellArea 51+7 more