rant · moment 9 of 14
Paying $3,000 to a Girl He Called Fat, and DoorDash No-Contact Delivery as Ideal Friendship
from Leave It Online | The Tim Dillon Show #382 · #382
5 min
Tim tells a story about paying for a former classmate's dental work after calling her fat in high school, then argues DoorDash's contactless photo-of-the-bag delivery is basically all the friendship anyone needs.
- Tim argues people should stay online and stop leaving their homes, where real-world interactions only create fodder for stories.
- A 43-year-old twice-divorced woman dressing as Hermione for a Baltimore bar crawl exemplifies the desperation of people seeking friends.
- Tim paid $3,000 to a girl he called fat at his high school reunion—she got her eyebrows tattooed instead of fixing her teeth.
- DoorDash no-contact delivery represents the ideal friendship: the driver leaves food outside, takes a photo, and vanishes.
- A brief back-and-forth with a DoorDash driver about shaving cream is the extent of acceptable human interaction.
- Friendship looked better in John Hughes movies than it does now.
- The musical Rent was the last time American friendship seemed appealing—everyone had AIDS and heroin, and that created genuine connection.