Episode 437 · The Studio Revamp
Leaked Group Chats & Door Dash Debt | The Tim Dillon Show #437
Mar 29, 2025 · 1:03:37 · 631,000 views · 16 segments, 94 moments indexed
Tim discusses the White House’s leaked group chat, Rachel Zegler’s response to the internet’s Snow White hate, a Turkish Graduate student who was pulled off the street for supporting Palestine, Door Dash letting customers pay for food in…
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- 1 min
Cold Open: Andrew Schulz Episode Plug
#Tim opens the show welcoming listeners back and plugging his recent episode with Andrew Schulz.
1moment
- Tim plugs the Andrew Schulz episode, says people enjoyed it
- 2 min
Get Out of Group Texts
#Tim riffs on the dangers of group texts as you get older, arguing you must limit access to yourself and that group chats always become 'evidence' that gets leaked.
5moments
- Tim advises getting out of group texts because they mess you up, especially as you get older.
- You have to severely limit people's access to you for your own mental health and safety.
- Every group text has someone way too into it, someone not into it at all, and someone weirdly offended about nothing.
- The whole point of a group text is to say things that would get you thrown in jail if leaked, but that makes it evidence.
- Someone's always showing the group text to people not in it, so you have to get yourself out before something happens.
group texts
- 9 min
Tim reacts to the news that National Security Adviser Mike Waltz accidentally added a journalist to a Signal group chat discussing military strikes on the Houthis, riffing on why he wasn't invited, why the government always needs to bomb someone, and imagining the mundane office-like texts between officials like Vance and Hegseth.
10moments
- National Security Adviser Mike Waltz added Atlantic journalist Jeffrey Goldberg to a Signal group chat discussing military plans.
- Tim wonders why he wasn't included in the group text despite being friends with Vance and Gabbard.
- Tim is bullish on bombing the Houthis because no one cares and the U.S. always needs a bombing target.
- Houthis are decent targets because they move around, disrupt trade, and mostly post on social media.
- The Houthis are backed by Iran and their slogan includes 'death to America' and 'death to Israel.'
- Tim argues people spouting that ideology have to get bombed—it's the American government's job.
- U.S. should bomb the Houthis from the skies but shouldn't commit troops or attempt regime change.
- Everyone in government, including Bernie and AOC if they held office, would order bombings because there's nothing else to do.
- The Signal chat is just people at work doing their job—the American government bombs people constantly all day.
- Tim's conclusion: the Houthis are doing things to provoke bombing, Trump is right about throwing bombs at them.
HouthisDonald TrumpJeffrey GoldbergMike WaltzSteve WitkoffPete HegsethSusie WilesJD Vance
- 5 min
Tim continues dissecting the leaked Signal chat, comparing it to a Chipotle employee group chat, arguing bombing people is just the government's routine job and that no one should be shocked or outraged, then explains why the Houthis specifically are a safe, expendable bombing target.
7moments
- Government isn't real unless we're bombing someone—it's just not a real thing.
- Running a bombing program is like working at Chipotle and texting your group chat about a coworker touching the food.
- Why would anyone be shocked to find out we're bombing people? This should just be a news ticker on Fox News.
- Job review for a bombing team: they got together, reviewed intelligence, decided to bomb them—that's the whole reason government exists.
- The Houthis are expendable; we can't go to war with Iran because they have allies like China and Russia, but nobody cares about the Houthis.
- We need groups like Al-Qaeda and ISIS—radical psychopaths who do stuff so we can bomb them, the one thing we truly understand.
- We can't bomb white people in Greenland because we'd have to go into Denmark, but the Houthis in the sea are perfect targets.
Elon MuskHouthisISISIranAl-QaedaFox NewsGreenlandChina+4 more
- 2 min
Tim reads a Helix Sleep ad, praising the mattress quiz and the midnight Deluxe model, and mocks couples who go mattress shopping together in stores.
5moments
- Tim explains why Helix mattresses are so comfortable and what people ask him about most
- Apple watch owners report sleeping better and losing back pain and night sweats after switching to Helix
- Tim's personal preference is the Midnight Deluxe, though firmness varies and customers should take the quiz
- No product gets more inquiries from people than the Helix mattress, according to Tim
- Going to a mattress store to lay on beds in front of people is perverted and sick behavior
- 7 min
Rachel Zegler's Snow White Meltdown
#Tim tears into actors ruining their own movie press tours by sharing political opinions, focusing on Rachel Zegler's comments about Snow White and Gaza, and imagines threatening actors into silence during promotional rollouts.
9moments
- Tim on Rachel Zegler's Snow White video and Hollywood's refusal to accept that Gen Z has moved on to social media creators.
- Actors and actresses are revealed to be losers once they go off book and speak for themselves rather than reading scripted lines.
- Celebrities feel compelled to weigh in on political issues after watching internet personalities gain followers by being authentic, which destroys their public image.
- Rachel Zegler's video clip: comparing herself to a broken Winged Victory statue while insisting people will line up to see her despite her flaws.
- Tim's solution: actors promoting major studio films should be locked in a cage if they can't keep their mouth shut during the promotional rollout.
- Her father, a Disney producer, had to fly across the country to reprimand his 20-year-old employee for injecting personal politics into a multi-hundred-million-dollar franchise.
- You're just Snow White, not a real person with actual power to save Gaza, so shut up and do your job.
- Tim's fantasy: calling a studio meeting before release and threatening actors with violence if they mention Gaza or trans suicide during press.
- What he'd actually want her to say: "I love the movie, it's beautiful, we're reintroducing it to children" — nothing more, no pivots to activism.
- 1 min
Tim jokes about Andrew Tate's girlfriend accusing him of choking her at the Beverly Hills Hotel, riffing on the hotel's prestige and offering to be a paid character witness.
4moments
- Tim was at the Beverly Hills Hotel the week of the alleged choking incident and heard nothing about it.
- Tim jokes that being choked at the Beverly Hills Hotel is actually a luxury experience, not something to complain about.
- The entitlement of people complaining about getting choked at one of the top properties on the planet is absurd.
- Tim questions why Tate would engage in this behavior in Los Angeles instead of just going to Dubai to do it.
- 1 min
Tim reads an ad for Armra Colostrum, describing its health benefits and the discount code for listeners.
3moments
- Tim pitches Armra Colostrum as a solution to seed oils, stress, toxins, and pollutants destroying health at the cellular level.
- Colostrum packed with over 400 bioactive nutrients fortifies gut integrity, strengthens immunity, revitalizes hair growth, and helps you function like a human again.
- Special offer for the audience: 15% off the first order at trymarmra.com/Tim.
- 6 min
Tim discusses a Tufts graduate student detained by immigration officials for participating in pro-Palestinian campus protests, questioning whether the U.S. government is acting on behalf of Israel and whether anti-Semitism should be grounds for deportation of a legal resident.
9moments
- TS University graduate student grabbed off the street by federal immigration officers as part of a push to disappear people participating in campus protests.
- Tim questions whether this deportation is being done for America or for Israel, asking if the U.S. government is taking orders from Israel.
- Tim finds it odd that anti-Semitism classification can now get you deported if you're a legal U.S. resident.
- Speaking out against an ally of America should not be grounds for deportation, Tim argues.
- Tim says this kind of action couldn't feed Jewish conspiracy theories more effectively if it tried.
- If people believe Israel runs America through donors and billionaires, does this deportation make them dig their heels in more or less?
- For four years people could say anything about white people, call for genocide of whites, but a few months of campus protests and now students are getting deported.
- Tim wonders what other nationalities get you deported for criticism, bringing up his accidental comments about Filipinos regarding his godson.
- Tim clarifies he would not have gotten involved financially if he'd known his godson was Filipino instead of Chinese.
- 7 min
Confronting His Anti-Semitic Friends
#Tim riffs on his own friend group being heavily anti-Semitic, joking about arguing with them over Israeli influence claims and breaking into singing Whitney Houston to avoid answering, plus a bit about Marco Rubio's past at foam parties.
10moments
- Tim questions whether detention for anti-semitic speech is appropriate grounds for deportation, comparing it to how he'd respond to homophobic remarks.
- The deportations feel like they're happening at the behest of billionaire Israeli donors.
- Tim admits he has anti-semitic friends—roughly 65 to 70 percent of them—and tries to correct their views by asking them to prove their claims about Israeli influence.
- Tim argues that confronting these conspiracies is the right approach, not cracking down on speech and deporting people.
- He adopts an anti-immigration stance and self-identifies as Young Bannon, his rap name in the underground scene.
- Marco Rubio, now Secretary of State, revoked a student's visa for having campus protest opinions rather than for studying.
- Tim attended one of the encampments and found everyone friendly and willing to take photos with him.
- Deporting students for anti-Israel rhetoric backfires because it reinforces the very conspiracy theory about Israeli influence that needs correcting.
- When his anti-semitic friends cite Israeli lobby power and he asks for facts, they provide them, which defeats his counterargument.
- Tim deflects by singing Whitney Houston's 'I Will Always Love You' instead of engaging further.
Marco RubioIsraelWhitney HoustonSasha Baron CohenDolly PartonFilipinos
- 1 min
- 1 min
Tim reads a DraftKings Casino ad promoting free casino spins for new players who sign up with a promo code.
1moment
- DraftKings Casino ad: new players get 500 casino spins with code Tim D Show after minimum $5 wager
- 7 min
Tim discusses the UK ending its non-domiciled tax rule for the ultra-wealthy, arguing that rich people with no cultural connection to a country will simply flee when taxes rise, and connects this to broader arguments about immigration, nationalism, and the destruction of shared culture, including a return to the Tufts deportation case.
11moments
- UK scraps 225-year-old non-dom tax rule allowing richest residents to avoid taxes on foreign earnings.
- Tim disagrees with Scott Galloway and others claiming wealthy people are leaving the UK over taxes, arguing they never cared about English culture in the first place.
- You can't destroy a common culture and replace it with just financial architecture—people will abandon a country if it's only an economic zone.
- Critics who warn about nationalism while designing tax policies that make people see countries as purely financial opportunities are hypocritical.
- London opened its doors to every billionaire and oligarch without requiring any cultural connection or contribution.
- Tim's take on golden visas: rich people simply existing in a country doesn't make it better unless they feel some connection to it.
- The super rich no longer care about any nation state—their only loyalty is to financial systems they can extract money from.
- Stop treating all discussions of nationalism and culture as Hitlerian dog whistles; culture includes customs, traditions, civic institutions, and celebrations that aren't inherently racial or religious.
- When you import people from all over the world who don't respect local culture and are only there to extract money, they leave the moment taxes increase.
- Tim's position on immigrants: they should embrace the existing culture, not remake the country into what they think it should be, the way his Irish grandparents did.
- There has to be a non-racist way to tell people to assimilate and stop being different from everyone else.
Scott GallowayDonald TrumpSteve Bannonnationalism
- 3 min
The Rosewood Furniture Story and Deportation Wrap-up
#Tim tells a story about a furniture store salesman explaining why rare Brazilian rosewood is so expensive, using it as a segue back into his argument against deporting the protesting student and joking about her.
5moments
- Tim visits a furniture store and learns an $80,000 table is Brazilian rosewood, no longer legally harvestable due to deforestation.
- The scarcity of rosewood drives prices up because life is precious and rare—a metaphor for why we shouldn't be deporting people.
- Tim refuses to keep arguing with friends who claim everyone in government is a Zionist; he asks them to name specific people.
- He breaks into a rambling story about meeting a strange lady on a hippy trail who may harbor 'Kill Whitey' ideology but shouldn't be deported.
- Rather than deporting controversial people, make them work at the Mothership so they can see the best of America.
Morgan and MorganBrazilian rosewood
- 9 min
Tim mocks the trend of DoorDash partnering with Klarna to let people finance food orders on installment loans, riffing extensively on financial irresponsibility, American delusion, and closing with a bit about viral figure Dank Demoss showing off getting into a car.
10moments
- Door Dash and Klarna offer buy-now-pay-later financing for food delivery orders, requiring a minimum $35 purchase.
- Tim mocks the framing that installment loans for takeout are just one option among many, when clearly everyone sees it as a sign of hard times.
- The company claims the feature helps people manage their money while acknowledging that putting food on credit is a bad indicator for society.
- Tim explains the perverse incentive: the $35 minimum pushes people to order more food than they need, encouraging them to finance larger purchases.
- A consumer advocate warns this isn't a solution but a fintech innovation that creates problems.
- Tim imagines future bankruptcy stories where people owe tens of thousands to Door Dash after years of charging food to survive.
- He concedes people genuinely don't have money, but argues cooking at home while poor is depressing and fundamentally un-American.
- Being American is about being a delusional psychopath—ordering burritos on credit, live-streaming delusions of success, and spiraling into debt and chaos.
- Tim pivots to Dank Demoss, declaring her the embodiment of American excess: going into debt, developing an alternative persona, becoming trans, and attacking TSA agents.
- He notes Dank Demoss already has platinum status on Door Dash, representing the logical endpoint of the buy-now-pay-later culture.
DoorDashClaraAdam RussDanielle Bregoli
- 1 min
Tim announces his new Netflix special dropping April 16th, thanks Joe Rogan for the club, mentions moving Raleigh tour dates, and signs off playing out with Dank Demoss's song.
4moments
- Tim announces his Netflix special drops April 16th
- The special was recorded at the Mothership and Tim says he's proud of it
- Tim thanks Joe Rogan for letting him film the special at the club
- Tour plans: back on the road late this year and early next year in theaters