Episode 311 · The Ben Avery Era
Ladies Who Lunch w/ Chelcie Lynn and Libbie Higgins | The Tim Dillon Show #311
with Chelcie Lynn and Libbie Higgins
Aug 14, 2022 · 1:01:18 · 415,000 views · 30 segments, 159 moments indexed
Chelcie Lynn and Libbie Higgins come on the show to explain growing up in a trailer park, how they pull off their stunts, the average meal for them on the road, and the videos that started it all.
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- 2 min
Tim welcomes Chelsea Lynn and Libby Higgins, joking about the six-hundred dollar Postmates dinner they had and riffing on getting flagged for suspicious spending, before introducing their viral fame.
4moments
- Tim introduces Chelsea and Libby as his two favorite people.
- He spent $600 on a Postmates dinner order.
- Tim jokes that spending $600 on Postmates puts you on a list that will deny you end-of-life care.
- Chelsea and Libby completed a tour after being on the road for nine to ten months combined with a month off in between.
Chelsea LynnMcRibTrailer Trash Tammy
- 2 min
They joke about Chelsea's early internet content (mukbangs, TikTok, Vine), her carrying a knife and fork, and riff on genetics and health before joking about only having a couple years left.
8moments
- Tim notes the guest does mukbang content on TikTok, Vine, and Instagram.
- Three fat guys hanging out together, with Tim joking they have three to four years left.
- Guest claims people online say he has two years tops; Tim dismisses the meanness.
- Guest mentions having a cardiac calcium scan that showed no heart deposits, attributing his health to genetics.
- Tim says genetics is what he loves because it's the ultimate equalizer—even Ben could drop dead from it.
- Tim asks if it's hard for the guest not to eat like wild animals on the road, describing his descent on restaurants as vicious pirates.
- Guest claims he hates fast food despite being large, which might shock people.
- Guest eats once a day on the road to avoid having to eat fast food more often.
- 1 min
Chelsea explains eating just once a day on tour to avoid fast food, and they trade nostalgic gas station snack memories like Ho Hos, Yodels, and Funyuns with bean dip.
4moments
- Tim eats once a day before shows, typically between three and five o'clock, to maintain energy on stage.
- Tim used to enjoy gas station Yodels and Ho Hos as a kid, especially frozen with cold milk.
- His go-to snack combination is Funyuns with bean dip and chocolate milk.
- He had an exceptionally good chocolate milk while in Hampton.
- 2 min
Libby recounts her Oklahoma childhood, being taken from her parents at 12 after her mom was arrested for writing hot checks, and living with her grandmother.
7moments
- Tim's parents were meth heads and alcoholics.
- His mother got arrested for writing hot checks when Tim was 12, and he was taken away.
- Tim did cocaine as a teenager and knew people involved in credit card fraud and identity theft.
- Hot checks are basically impossible to write anymore—you can't even pay for things with checks now.
- His parents told him directly that his mother wrote a hot check and that's why they had to move in with his grandma.
- Tim grew up knowing everything about his parents being in and out of jail his whole life.
- In Oklahoma, most people are on meth, writing hot checks, living outside the law five to ten miles ahead of cops—it's a renegade lifestyle.
methamphetamineOklahoma
- 2 min
They joke about Oklahoma casino culture as an aspiration, then Tim riffs on his old telemarketing job selling mortgages and reads a news bit about ARM loans making a comeback.
6moments
- Casino life: people work at casinos with a life goal of winning money in a room where they can smoke.
- Tim thought he'd be stealing old people's houses, which he wishes he was doing because it's a better job with more longevity and less wear on the body.
- His actual job was calling people in Oklahoma to sell them double-wide houses on a foundation with easy mortgages.
- The pitch was simple: call places, tell them they qualify for all this money, and people signed up for many years.
- ARM loans are coming back now because interest rates are high and people are priced out of the market.
- Adjustable rate mortgages are being marketed as a solution, with demand for them tripling since January as rates climbed.
- 2 min
Libby talks about moving to St. Louis and Chelsea describes buying 106 acres near Nashville to build a house, podcast studio, softball field, and roller rink, before Tim jokes about being surrounded by undeserving people.
5moments
- St. Louis is being pitched as the next hot place, though nobody has actually said that since the early 1900s.
- Libby Higgins is building a 106-acre compound in Nashville with a house, podcast studio, softball field, and roller rink.
- Tim plans to set up an old single-wide trailer on the property as a movie set for Trailer Trash Tammy.
- The ambitious idea of building a community appeals to him in theory, but he's surrounded by undeserving blood suckers.
- Investing time and money into a community populated by the worst of the worst makes no sense; they're like fleas and ticks.
- 2 min
Libby describes living with two grandmothers, one of whom is still alive but estranged, and a failed attempt at healing that ended with 'go f*** yourself.'
5moments
- Tim had two grandmas from different sides of the family he'd go back and forth between in Oklahoma.
- His grandma struggled with the shift from raising kids and grandkids to seeing him succeed in his current career.
- Tim says his family resents him now, so he attacks them mercilessly on the show every week plus a bonus episode on Patreon.
- Tim does believe in healing and actually sat down with his grandma a couple years ago to express gratitude.
- His grandma told him to go fuck himself, so the reconciliation attempt didn't work.
- 2 min
Jokes about Libby's family all being dead lead into the story of the viral McRib character sketch, including how it caused real backlash at a specific McDonald's location.
8moments
- Tim describes Libby's appearance as resembling someone who burned down an orphanage and fled town on a boxcar.
- Libby mentions she has a sister, but everyone else in her family is dead from old age.
- Tim and Libby joke about looking related and waiting for each other to show up on 23andMe as close relatives amid family deaths in a tornado.
- Libby's sister lives in Missouri, is very funny, but terrified of public attention.
- Libby almost didn't post the McRib video; Tim convinced her by saying he'd post it himself if she didn't.
- The McRib video included a location that Tim improvised, which he worried would cause problems for that McDonald's.
- People called and sent things to the McDonald's after the video, creating chaos for workers, though that's just boredom being solved.
- The McDonald's staff got mad at Libby every time she came through the drive-through, telling her not to return.
- 2 min
They play the full viral McRib video where Libby's character Carla describes punching an employee named Charlene over the extra McRib deal.
5moments
- Tim recounts visiting the McDonald's on Dorset on Monday night and getting disrespected, nearly fighting with the woman working there.
- The drive-through was full, forcing him to walk inside already angry before ordering a McRib meal with a large Dr Pepper.
- When the cashier quotes $6.58, Tim points out she forgot to offer him an extra McRib for a dollar as part the meal deal.
- The cashier looks him up and down and tells him he doesn't look like he needs an extra McRib, insulting his appearance.
- He warns anyone visiting that Dorset McDonald's to tell the cashier Charlene that Carla sent them, then punch her.
- 2 min
Chelsea explains her first viral video (asking a car for a cigarette), they play the clip, and discuss boredom as an underrated motivator for content creators.
7moments
- Chelsea's first viral video was posted in 2014-15, walking up to a car and asking for a cigarette.
- Tim notes she almost didn't post the video because she thought it was the dumbest thing and didn't find it funny.
- Chelsea attributes her content creation to boredom as a major motivating factor that people tend to underestimate.
- Tim relates that boredom was also the reason he started the podcast after hitting a creative wall doing other things.
- Chelsea began Vine in 2013 when there were no influencers and nobody was doing it, purely for fun without expecting anything to come of it.
- The 'Got a cigarette' Vine went mega viral, shocking Chelsea with how well it performed.
- Chelsea mentions her most recent video involved a roach and breasts.
- 2 min
They watch Chelsea's 'roach titty' video and Tim riffs on PBS pledge-drive premiums as a joke about monetizing viral clips.
2moments
- Tim asks to have the roach titty video played
- The video plays, featuring the roach with prominent anatomy that went viral
Chelsea Laine VinePBSAndrew Lloyd Webber
- 2 min
Tim praises Chelsea's character work, invokes Louis C.K. and Bill Hicks on making fun of people you love, and says everyone knows a 'Tammy.'
5moments
- Tim explains that everyone knows a Tammy, regardless of where they're from.
- Louis C.K. made the point that you can't make fun of people if you don't love them.
- Bill Hicks could make fun of the South because he was from there and genuinely loved it.
- Tim describes how loving people and liking them allows you to make fun of them in a way that works—you're making fun of your own.
- Libby's comedy comes from genuine affection for older crackhead women in parking lots.
- 3 min
Libby jokes emotionally about now being able to afford cigarettes without checking her bank account, comparing it to Jackie Kennedy-level wealth.
7moments
- Tim celebrates being able to afford Marlboros without checking his account as a sign of wealth.
- Tim can now buy two or three packs at once without looking at his account balance.
- The band arrives at venues seven hours early due to mental illness and a need to be ready.
- They've shown up so late that the audience was already seated and the theater threatened to call local comedians.
- Tim brings a camp chair to venues and sits outside the stage door smoking for hours.
- A venue employee mistook Tim for a homeless street person and told staff to remove her from the area.
- Tina, one of the openers, had to explain to venue employees that the person outside was actually the headliner.
- 1 min
Libby tells the story of a venue employee mistaking her camp chair setup outside the stage door for a homeless person and trying to have her removed.
4moments
- Tim roasted a guy during the show and brought guests on stage.
- He met his friend by searching 'white trash' on Vine eight or nine years ago.
- Guest has a 'white trash' tattoo on her chest with a rose underneath it.
- Guest's family has a history of back trouble and talks openly about their disabilities.
- 1 min
Chelsea explains how she found Libby on Vine years ago by literally searching the term 'white trash,' and they discuss their long friendship.
5moments
- Tim on disability members grabbing painkillers for their backs and the appeal of a warm fuzzy feeling.
- Bad teeth among poor people traced to poverty and a lifelong love of soda starting in childhood.
- His grandmother made a DIY sippy cup by drilling a hole in a glass oyster can and giving him Coca-Cola as young as five or six.
- Tim admits the water he had earlier is the most water he's drunk in months—he'd rather have sugar than water any day.
- Drinking soda is part of the luxury of the life he lives.
- 1 min
Libby and Chelsea list what makes someone 'white trash' -- bad backs, painkillers, bad teeth, and drinking soda from bottles as toddlers.
4moments
- Tim asks what one thing someone wants above all else when they make money—a car, a house, a watch.
- Tim reflects that this is such a fun and sad episode.
- Ida, the top producer, told him she'd closed four deals and if things went well next month she could finally get a car and stop taking the bus.
- Tim notes how bad it is—when you're telemarketing photocopiers, you're not even in a car yet, just trying to get one.
- 2 min
Libby says all she wants is a reliably working car, prompting Tim's story about a top-producing telemarketer named Ida who was thrilled just to finally afford a car.
4moments
- Tim calls the guest one of the funniest people he's ever seen on the internet, alongside Chelsea.
- Tim predicts the guest will die tragically, which will only add to their mystique and life story.
- Guest reveals they always wanted to be a movie star, even writing it in their high school yearbook as their ten-year plan.
- Guest thought becoming a comedic actress wouldn't happen to people like them, given where they came from.
- 2 min
Both women discuss always wanting to perform despite feeling it wasn't possible from where they grew up, and Libby describes her anxiety delaying her career until 40.
5moments
- Libby always wanted to work in TV or movies but her anxiety was so severe she couldn't pursue it until turning 40.
- Tim recalls Justin TV, the predecessor to Twitch, where Libby used to broadcast live shows because she was afraid to perform in real life.
- Tim asks what advice she'd give to people in Oklahoma and the middle of the country trying to break into entertainment without access to industry connections.
- Libby's advice: just start creating—you don't need gatekeepers or casting directors anymore because you can make your own TV show and videos.
- Tim pitches a TV show concept: 'Lady kills roach with breasts.'
- 1 min
Chelsea reveals she bought a plastic roach on Amazon and rigged it with fishing wire, and how a restaurant turned off its music to let her film.
3moments
- Tim bought a plastic roach on Amazon and fishing wire to create a video idea.
- He pulled the roach across a restaurant table while Libby filmed.
- Tim smashed his titty and got the shot in one take.
- 2 min
Tim reads an ExpressVPN ad about phone carriers selling browsing data, joking about targeted ads for 'breastfeeding.com' and covering five devices per account.
5moments
- Tim explains how ExpressVPN prevents phone carriers from selling your browsing data to third parties.
- Phone carriers will track your purchases and send targeted ads like links to breastfeeding.com if you buy treats.
- Using code "tim dillon" at expressvpn.com gets three extra months free.
- Tim couldn't watch the Ozark finale in Australia until he used a VPN, though he notes the season sucked anyway.
- One ExpressVPN account covers up to five devices, so you can protect your wife, kids, and mistress simultaneously.
- 2 min
Tim reads a Raycon earbuds ad, riffing on the absurdity of naming what he's listening to in ads and joking about paid mentions.
5moments
- Tim says Raycon earbuds are cheaper and better than other types.
- Tim listens to LCD Sound System and other podcasts with the earbuds.
- Tim argues he should be paid thirty thousand dollars to mention anyone by name during an ad.
- Sponsorship pricing: eight grand for first mention, six grand for second, fourteen grand for getting mentioned twice.
- Tim claims he mixed the show with his Raycon earbuds.
- 2 min
They debate whether Braum's is custard or ice cream and praise its burgers, while Tim describes his favorite burger and ice cream spot, John's Drive-In in Montauk.
7moments
- Tim asks what Pete misses from back home, mentions Braum's burgers.
- Braum's burgers are good, though Tim debates whether it's custard or soft serve ice cream.
- Tim says he misses Braum's and believes it started in Oklahoma.
- Tim admits he's not usually a burger fan but Braum's burgers are hard to beat.
- John's Drive-In serves potato buns and fresh ice cream flavors like strawberry Oreo and coffee Oreo.
- Nothing beats getting a custard and burger outside in the summer, sitting with a view.
- Montauk has some of the best sunsets in the country.
BrahmsJohn's
- 2 min
Tim recounts his childhood acting auditions (including Sesame Street appearances), flubbing tryouts, and crying into a Dairy Queen Blizzard after a meltdown that shamed his grandmother.
7moments
- Tim was an actor from age six to twelve, appearing on Sesame Street multiple times and auditioning for various roles he never booked.
- His mother would take him out of school for auditions in the city; when he bombed, they'd go to the Penn Station Dairy Queen afterward.
- Tim would sometimes sit in the Dairy Queen chair and cry into his Blizzard while eating it after a failed audition.
- A newly arrived Indian man made the wrong Blizzard; Tim screamed, threw it in the garbage and missed, splattering it everywhere.
- The worker laughed at Tim's meltdown, unsure how to respond to the tantrum.
- His grandmother was present and repeatedly told him: 'I'm ashamed of you.'
- Tim sat in the Long Island Railroad waiting room covered in Blizzard, crying.
Sesame StreetPenn Station Dairy Queen
- 3 min
Libby describes the St. Louis counter-only diner her divorced father took the four kids to on his custody night, followed by Bush beer, honey buns, and watching The Cosby Show and Knight Rider.
8moments
- The Super Sandwich Shop in St. Louis was a counter-only diner where Tim's father took him and his three siblings on Wednesday nights.
- Tim's parents were divorced and Wednesday was his father's custody day, when the family would go to the sandwich shop together.
- After the diner, they'd stop at the liquor store where his father would buy himself Bush beer and nips while getting the kids honey buns.
- They'd watch shows like The Cosby Show and Family Ties at his father's house, programs Tim questions why people won't watch anymore now that Bill Cosby is disgraced.
- Tim describes Wednesday nights with his father at the Super Sandwich Shop as a time when the Higgins family felt whole again.
- Knight Rider was another favorite show they watched together on those Wednesday nights.
- His father's car was called a Le Car, which Tim identifies as looking like a joke vehicle.
- The Le Car appears on screen and confirms Tim's assessment of how absurd the vehicle looks.
Bill CosbyKnight RiderThe Cosby Show
- 3 min
Libby recalls her father's car nicknamed the 'luck car' and pretending to drive it as a kid; Tim reflects on the poetic nature of making the best of difficult childhoods.
5moments
- Tim recalls sitting in his dad's white car with a black stripe for hours, pretending to drive and shifting the gears.
- Guest's father has passed away; Tim says it would have been nice for him to see his son doing well.
- There's something deeply poetic about making the best of a non-optimal situation, even though looking back on hard times carries pain.
- Tim acknowledges the reality was probably horrible, but you had laughs and fun making the best of it—that's what life really is.
- Guest points out kids didn't have a choice where they went; Tim segues into a joke about being molested by his brother.
- 4 min
They discuss their OnlyFans content (Chelsea does comedy, not nudes), and Chelsea explains Instagram deleted her million-follower account with no real explanation, citing 'community guidelines.'
6moments
- She does OnlyFans but keeps it to comedy shows and vlogs—no nudes or explicit content, though she jokes she might reconsider if ticket sales dry up.
- Tim asks if her current career path matches what she imagined, and she reveals she wanted to 'murder people and torture them' through entertainment but found the entry cost too high.
- When asked how to get into entertainment, she admits she has no idea what she's doing and just shows up and does it.
- She plans to write and star in a Tammy movie and a Carla movie, with Tim offering to write her good characters and threatening to corner him during filming so he can't refuse.
- Her Instagram account with over a million followers got deleted for no clear reason; Instagram refused to restore it after two months and just told her to read the community guidelines.
- Stories of her cooking fried eggs with Aerosmith songs kept getting flagged for sexual solicitation, forcing her to start from scratch on the platform.
- 3 min
Libby describes filming herself sitting on and flattening a birthday cake for OnlyFans content, and they discuss watering down content for TikTok versus what they can post uncensored elsewhere.
6moments
- Chelsea Lynn's Instagram handle is chelsea_lynn_chelcie, and she has a podcast called The Viral Podcast with her friend Paige Jen.
- Libby Higgins also has a podcast called Slap City with her friend Tina D Ball.
- Her regular order from Super Sandwich Shop was fries with a cheeseburger, mayonnaise, pickles, and a Coke—nothing has changed.
- She smashed a birthday cake with her ass a couple weeks ago and posted it on OnlyFans.
- The cake was a white cake with sprinkles from Ralph's; she put it on a chair, pulled down her pants, and sat on it.
- The cake didn't smoosh as much as she expected—it just went flat like a pancake.
- 4 min
They watch and react to one of Chelsea's disturbing child-filter sketches about a mom giving her a home perm and accidentally burning her with a curling iron.
6moments
- TikTok requires watering down content for platform compliance, but OnlyFans is where the unfiltered material goes.
- Childhood story: asking mom to curl hair with a hot curling iron, getting burned on the face instead.
- Mom buys an Ogilvie home perm kit from the beauty supply store and applies it to the child's hair.
- After the perm process, the hair doesn't come out curly and mom uses a hair dryer to dry it.
- The perm goes catastrophically wrong, leaving the child's hair fried and damaged for months.
- Tim compares the sketch to a David Cronenberg horror film.
- 2 min
They watch Chelsea's improvised 'he's a number but' TikTok trend videos about trading off attractiveness for absurd redneck perks like riverboat captain or dial-up internet.
5moments
- Tim praises Libby Higgins' content as brilliant and compulsively watchable despite being longer than usual.
- The appeal of the videos: completely insane and improvised, which is what makes them work.
- The 'He's a Seven But' TikTok trend: rating men's attractiveness and then undercut with absurd details like calling bingo at the VFW every Wednesday.
- Examples escalate through the trend: a riverboat captain rated as a four, a nine but with dial-up internet.
- Tim declares his love for the trend and plugs Libby Higgins and Chelsea Lynch's tour.
Chelsea LynchLibby HigginsTrailer Trash County
- 1 min
Tim thanks Chelsea and Libby, plugs their social media and tour dates, and closes out the episode.
1moment
- Tim signs off and thanks the audience