rant · moment 4 of 16
Long Island Stupidity and Waiting for Mom to Die for the House
from Episode 152 - Feral · #152
4 min
Tim praises the specific, innate stupidity of Long Island people using a bricklayer friend's comment about bricks as an example, then describes the dark ritual of Long Islanders waiting for a parent to die of cancer so they can inherit the house and complain about taxes.
- Long Island people have a level of stupidity so innate to them that trying to educate them would destroy them completely.
- Tim's friend points out a few misaligned bricks on an otherwise beautiful house, unable to see past the minor flaw.
- Tim took Ben to Long Island and he immediately understood the culture after seeing a custom monster truck Chevy Suburban.
- Long Island people don't give a shit, which is what the city lacks—a genuine lack of caring about being reasonable.
- Dallas is set up for people who've made it; everyone there is just eating steak and looking forward to their next meal.
- Long Island kids inherit their parents' musical tastes—17-year-olds liking Billy Joel instead of finding something their parents would disapprove of.
- People on Long Island get a house when their mother shows signs of cancer, then they wait for her to die instead of taking her to a doctor.
- While the mother's body is still warm, the 40-year-old inheritor immediately complains about the taxes on the house they just inherited without ever having worked.
- That's how Long Island people get their houses—waiting for their mother to croak so they can inherit.