Episode 428 · The Studio Revamp
Elon’s Salute & The Inauguration Bishop | The Tim Dillon Show #428
Jan 25, 2025 · 1:15:08 · 992,000 views · 18 segments, 115 moments indexed
Tim recaps his birthday party, watches Elon’s salute, and discusses the inaugural church service for Trump.
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- 4 min
Birthday Party at The Stand and Irish Aversion to Celebration
#Tim discusses his birthday, joking that the Irish don't like being celebrated the way Jews, Arabs, and Italians do, and recounts his birthday party at The Stand comedy club, complete with a Saddam Hussein-esque bust, a sword swallower, and a contortionist.
9moments
- Tim thanks everyone for birthday wishes but doesn't love birthdays himself.
- Even at his party last night with cake, Tim joked it was for the ceasefire and blew out the candle to avoid the spotlight.
- Birthday doesn't actually give you special privileges—throwing coffee in a barista's face wouldn't be okay just because it's your day.
- Tim threw a party at The Stand Comedy Club, initially wanting just an open bar and pizza.
- The Stand owner decided to go all out instead with a sculpture of Tim, a sword swallower, and a contortionist—Tim paid for it all.
- Tim's friend Dan Inman joked the owner probably thought this could lead to production work, then laughed and said to bang him over the head anyway.
- The sculpture they made looked like Saddam Hussein's birthday party—walking in, you'd think Tim was a psychopath.
- Birthday parties aren't fun when it's your birthday because you spend the whole time working the room saying hello to people.
- An old high school friend asked Tim when they stopped being friends, suggesting it was around 2008.
- 3 min
Explaining Elon Musk's Salute Controversy
#Tim sarcastically 'clears up' the controversy over Elon Musk's gesture at an event, comparing it flippantly to a Hitler salute and mocking outrage over it.
5moments
- Tim explains people are misunderstanding the controversy around Elon's salute gesture
- Tim breaks down what the salute actually signifies—support for Hitler
- Hitler was a politician in 1940s Germany with varying public opinion at the time
- Tim compares the Hitler controversy to outdated terms like 'Oriental' that were acceptable then but aren't now
- The salute just means Elon likes Hitler overall, not that he endorses every specific thing Hitler did
- 2 min
Vivek Ramaswamy's Fallout and Ohio Governor Run
#Tim recounts predicting a falling out between Vivek Ramaswamy and Elon Musk over DOGE, and Vivek's comments calling Americans lazy leading to his exit and pivot to running for Ohio governor.
6moments
- Tim predicted there would be a fallout between Vivek Ramaswamy and the tech people around Elon Musk.
- Vivek is now planning to run for governor of Ohio while supposedly in the DOGE role with Elon.
- The MAGA world got sick of Vivek running his mouth; Tim suggests he should eat gulab jamun instead.
- Vivek lasted only hours in the role before claiming Americans are fat, lazy pieces of shit.
- Vivek was making the same argument about needing foreign talent that Democrats, Republicans, the Koch brothers, and billionaires have used for years.
- Tim doubts Vivek's plan to run for Ohio governor will work, but remains uncertain about the outcome.
- 5 min
Trump as Teflon Don: Using People Who Think They're Using Him
#Tim argues Trump's political genius is knowing he needs fall guys, comparing it to mob dynamics and reality TV, and explains why the old media/institutional world has collapsed into an internet-driven spectacle that Trump understands better than anyone.
8moments
- People in Trump's orbit believe they're using him, but he sees them coming a mile away and keeps many as fall guys.
- Trump's political instincts are strong even his enemies have to admit it — he understands the machinery he's operating.
- The meaning of Teflon Don is refracting heat and anger onto someone else so you can stay productive.
- Tim explains why Trump keeps certain people around: he needs a fall guy, someone to fire when things get hot.
- Trump succeeds where others fail because he understands reality television and spectacle better than anyone else.
- The old world of media, scientific institutions, and government legitimacy has collapsed and been replaced.
- Trump and those around him created this new world through reality television and social media, the two forces that changed everything.
- In this new world of spectacle—Jake Paul and Mike Tyson at the inauguration—Trump understands the value of it completely.
- 6 min
Tim covers the Trump-backed $500 billion AI infrastructure project (Stargate) with OpenAI, Oracle, and SoftBank, riffing on the movie Stargate, joking about AI being used to 'enslave populations,' and detailing the public feud between Elon Musk and Sam Altman over funding and loyalty to America.
9moments
- Trump's AI project with Sam Altman: a $500 billion investment in Stargate infrastructure.
- Elon Musk and Sam Altman start fighting on X over the deal and Musk feeling pushed out.
- Tim notes Stargate is a movie about unlocking an ancient gateway—a fitting name for what tech billionaires actually believe they're funding.
- These tech people think they're going to have intergalactic fights; it's some science, some science fiction, some madness.
- Tim's competitive logic: we need to develop AI faster than China so China doesn't enslave their population more efficiently than we enslave ours.
- The Oracle chairman claims the project ties to digital health records and customized vaccines—the beginning of the human-AI hybrid.
- Tech guys don't care about what happens to the country or people; it's about being the leader in AI no matter what.
- They believe AI is already sentient or will be, and we must merge with it or the human race is toast—this is what they openly believe.
- Musk claims on X they don't actually have the money; SoftBank has well under $10 billion secured.
Elon MuskSam AltmanDonald TrumpChinaArtificial IntelligenceBlackstoneOracleStargate+1 more
- 1 min
Billionaires Used to Be Quietly Evil
#Tim laments that billionaires used to fight each other secretly and ruthlessly, but now everyone airs their catty fights publicly on social media like seventh graders.
2moments
- Billionaires used to be quietly evil, now they have undignified catty fights with competitors in public.
- They used to destroy each other through rumor and false narrative quietly; now everything is out in the open.
- 1 min
Tim reads a sponsor spot for BlueChew, a chewable erectile dysfunction medication delivered online, touting confidence and a free trial offer.
1moment
- Tim claims BlueChew works whether you think it does or not, and suggests trying it for a month to see if you love it.
- 9 min
The Trans Minister's Inauguration Sermon Turned X-Rated Riff
#Tim recreates and improvises an increasingly absurd, sexually explicit parody sermon from a bishop's inauguration plea to Trump about immigrants and LGBTQ people, spiraling into an outrageous bit about illegal immigrants having an orgy at his house.
15moments
- Segment opens with footage from Trump's inauguration service
- As soon as the minister says "let me make one final plea," everyone knows where it's heading
- The minister has a non-binary librarian vibe and the congregation shifts uncomfortably
- Bishop introduces a transgender child at the service, then a drag queen appears
- Tim riffs as the minister: "let me make one final plea with you and your fascist pig family"
- The sermon expands to cover demisexuals, sapiosexuals, and people into bondage and blood play
- Tim's minister character: "I will put strawberries in my ass, I come anally"
- Riff pivots to illegal immigrant transgender people in orgies without proper documentation
- Five illegal immigrant transgender Guatemalans in the basement on raw Molly, scared of raids
- Minister mentions immigrants are members of churches, mosques, synagogues, and "Vdara" temples
- Riff on compassion: "let people flee the Ukraine of sex with me"
- "Nobody asks for papers when you're having sex, we were all strangers until we took our clothes off"
- Tim's character describes her small clitoral penis and illegal immigrants putting it in their mouth
- The riff ends with the actual sermon conclusion about honoring dignity and speaking truth in love
- Tim reflects that the segment shows the absurdity of mixing activism with an actual service
Bishop Maryanne EdgarDonald TrumpTiffany TrumpMelania Trump
- 7 min
Why Trump Won: Elites, Migration, and the Unipary
#Tim explains that mass migration and elite indifference to ordinary people are the core reasons Trump won, drawing parallels to European elections, and pivots into concern about the intelligence community and Tulsi Gabbard's stance on Russia versus terrorism as the real threat.
8moments
- Trump plans to send 10,000 troops to the border, but people want immigration controlled, not wholesale deportations of grandmas.
- Trump won because elites didn't care about ordinary people—wealthy stock market investors prioritized their bottom line over America's welfare.
- There's a uni-party in Washington: Democrats and Republicans both represent donors, lobbyists, corporations, and the military-industrial complex, not the people.
- Tim worried about tech guys surrounding Trump, though he notes he's not alone in raising these concerns.
- Tulsi Gabbard understands that stateless terrorist organizations, not Russia, pose the real threat to America since 9/11.
- Russia obsession ignores the real problem: American corporations profit from Ukraine reconstruction deals and rare earth mineral access.
- Wars end with territorial exchanges and treaties; spending years propping up Ukraine to hope Russia collapses only benefits defense contractors and Washington DC elites.
- Tulsi Gabbard gets attacked immediately when she questions why the U.S. is pushing nuclear confrontation with Russia, with senators trying to block her from committee confirmation.
Tulsi GabbardDonald TrumpUkraineElon MuskSam AltmanRussiaWashington DC
- 1 min
Tim reads a sponsor segment for ShipStation, an e-commerce shipping platform offering discounted rates and automation tools.
2moments
- Tim pitches ShipStation as the solution for handling shipping and back-office logistics so you can focus on product and sales.
- ShipStation claims 130,000 companies use it and 98% of year-one customers stick around for life.
- 5 min
Tim discusses Pete Hegseth's confirmation as Defense Secretary, his reputation for drinking and intensity from his time in Iraq, and skeptically weighs allegations from his ex-wives about abuse and an 'escape plan.'
9moments
- Tim describes Hegseth as someone who likes to drink and has occasionally thrown women in fountains, but served the country honorably.
- The type of guy who gets blackout drunk at work conventions and needs to be told to go to his room.
- Tim questions what 'fearing for safety' even means, comparing it to how people have claimed the same about him because he drives fast.
- Soldiers who see their best friends' heads blown off in Iraq tend to become very religious and get tattoos.
- Tim dismisses the escape plan allegations as insufficient evidence without proof of actual physical abuse.
- "I need to see something—did he put hands on you? Were you hit?" Tim wants concrete evidence rather than general descriptions of volatility.
- Hegseth seems intense and was on Fox and Friends; Tim notes many couples have volatile fights and makeup cycles.
- His first wife confirms Hegseth has an alcohol abuse problem and likely had to be dragged out of hotels multiple times.
- Tim's assessment: Hegseth's issues appear to stem primarily from his drinking habits.
- 5 min
Tim covers John Ratcliffe's confirmation as CIA Director and revisits the 2020 letter from 51 former intelligence officials calling the Hunter Biden laptop story Russian disinformation, arguing it was election interference by top intelligence figures.
6moments
- John Ratcliffe confirmed as CIA Director with minimal media resistance
- Tim speculates why lack of opposition to Ratcliffe's confirmation might indicate deeper motives
- 51 intelligence officials signed letter calling Hunter Biden laptop story Russian disinformation
- These weren't low-level CIA staff but top-tier officials from multiple administrations
- Letter signers included former CIA directors Clapper, Hayden, Panetta, and Brennan
- Tim argues the coordinated letter suggests all these officials shared an anti-Trump agenda
Rat Cliff RatcliffHunter BidenDonald TrumpJim ClapperJohn BrennanLeon PanettaMichael Haydenintelligence agencies
- 2 min
Tim reads a sponsor spot for PrizePicks, a daily fantasy sports platform, touting bonuses and promotions for football playoff season.
1moment
- Tim mentions an assassination attempt on the president at a rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, noting that nobody seems to know much about it.
Prize Picksassassination attempt on Trump at Butler, Pennsylvania
- 8 min
Thomas Matthew Crooks and the Butler Assassination Attempt
#Tim examines the shooter who nearly killed Trump at the Butler, PA rally, questioning the official narrative given the shooter's inconsistent political history, unexploded munitions, and Secret Service failures, and argues Trump shouldn't trust the intelligence community.
12moments
- Trump shouldn't trust the intelligence community; their job is to control presidents.
- Thomas Matthew Crooks wasn't a looker, and his Wikipedia reads like evidence of unclear political motives.
- Crooks donated $15 to Democrats at 18, registered Republican, and stayed Republican until shooting at the president.
- Little is known about Crooks's family or background; classmates said he was quiet and bullied.
- Crooks had explosives and unexploded munitions in his car, purchased ammunition and a ladder, and flew a drone over the rally.
- Tim doesn't believe the assassination attempt was random; he thinks Trump and his inner circle suspect deeper involvement.
- Since Allan Dulles, the intelligence community operates a parallel command structure independent of presidential orders.
- The CIA, DIA, NSA and other agencies conduct black budget operations—drug trafficking, human trafficking—unknown to Congress or the public.
- Any president—Obama, Trump, Bush—can be manipulated or misled by the intelligence community.
- Trump revoked security clearances of intelligence officials who signed the Hunter Biden laptop letter, but they can still operate through puppets in the agency.
- James Clapper, John Brennan, and Leon Panetta—some of the most powerful people in the world—had their clearances yanked.
- The CIA is attributing everything to Iran and preparing the narrative for war, which Tim sees as the next target for military intervention.
Thomas Matthew Crooksintelligence agenciesAllan DullesJames ClapperJohn BrennanLeon PanettaJohn Bolton
- 9 min
Global Oligarchs, Tax Flight, and the Intelligence-Billionaire Nexus
#Tim connects wealthy people fleeing high-tax countries like the UK to a broader thesis that billionaires' loyalty is to a financial system rather than any nation, protected by intelligence communities engaged in black budget dealings, drugs, and trafficking.
9moments
- Tim recalls people in a Dunkin' Donuts on Long Island predicting Iran would be the next target after Iraq.
- If he were running the CIA, Tim's goal would be to staff it with people disloyal to the president who'd cover up crimes and keep running drug trades and blackmail operations.
- The intelligence community operates with its own agenda that doesn't benefit the United States.
- Britain's non-dom tax policy changes are causing wealthy people to flee — over 10,000 millionaires left the UK in 2024, a 157% increase from the previous year.
- These mobile billionaires and multimillionaires have no loyalty to any nation, only to the operating system that compounds their wealth.
- The people representing billionaire interests aren't congressmen but rather intelligence community operatives in DC's wealthiest counties.
- Global oligarchs with no national allegiance create a massive problem for running a country — they operate in an underground economy of weapons, drugs, and money laundering with intelligence community blessing.
- The Trump Administration needs to understand who these oligarchs are, their capabilities, and their powers, because Tim thinks a lot of them miss it.
- A 34-year-old woman in the UK was found half-eaten by her pugs — that's the real frozen, not Elsa and Let It Go.
intelligence agenciesCIARachel ReevesTrump administrationIran
- 2 min
Tim riffs on a news story about a 34-year-old woman found half-eaten by her pet pugs, joking that this is the 'real' dark version of a Disney film like Frozen.
5moments
- The pugs were hungry and ate the woman.
- Tim compares the pugs eating the woman to the intelligence community destroying the country.
- She dressed the pug in a stylish jacket and then it ate her.
- People keep snakes and other animals that will inevitably kill and eat them.
- Dogs and cats are fine, but don't expect loyalty—if you die, they will eat you.
woman killed by her pugs
- 4 min
Predicting Elon Musk as the Next Fall Guy
#Tim wraps up the Musk/Trump/tech saga, predicting Elon will be the next 'fall guy' pushed out, and jokes that Musk's salute bit is no funnier than dad jokes from his own Irish uncles.
6moments
- Trump says Elon won't get a West Wing desk and is out at DOGE; Tim predicts the tech war outcome based on Trump's track record.
- Tim bets on Trump over the nerds because he's observed him win consistently and these tech guys can't regulate their emotions.
- Elon Musk is Tim's prediction for who becomes the fall guy in Trump's administration.
- If Elon was worth that kind of money, he should be seen twice a year to maintain mystique instead of constantly appearing.
- LA is burning with four new fires and no one cares because it's not a sympathetic place.
- Los Angeles fires will eventually barely make the news once the whole county is engulfed in flames.
- 1 min
Closing Riff: LA Fires and the Apocalyptic Pug Ending
#Tim closes the show riffing darkly on the ongoing LA fires, imagining apocalyptic news coverage of survivors dying of smoke inhalation and being eaten by their pugs, tying back to the earlier pug story.
2moments
- Tim on LA fire survivors taking their own lives and being eaten by their dogs due to smoke inhalation.
- The apocalyptic image of people in Los Angeles being eaten by their burnt pugs.