rant · moment 17 of 18
Southwest's 'Customer of Size' Seat Policy
from Dead-Eyed Monsters | The Tim Dillon Show #375 · #375
6 min
Tim breaks down Southwest Airlines' policy letting obese passengers claim a free extra seat, riffing on the humiliation of the seat-reserved sign, imagining a future where planes need entire extra rows and government subsidies for obesity.
- Southwest launches 'Customer of Size' program offering free extra seat to passengers who cannot lower both armrests
- Armrest serves as the definitive boundary—if you cannot lower both and encroach on adjacent seat, you get a second one
- Tim describes the humiliation of receiving a 'Seat Reserved' document that signals to everyone you're the fat passenger
- The process involves sucking in your gut through boarding, then lifting the armrest and breathing out once seated to reveal the problem
- Tim projects that eventually entire rows will be needed, forcing either $8,000 tickets or government airline subsidies
- Government won't stop poisoning the food supply but will subsidize airlines losing money on obese passengers instead
- Future Southwest flights will have reserved seats in every row marked for passengers' guts, with one seat per row unusable
- Tim jokes about placing a McDonald's bag on the reserved seat as defiant commentary on the policy's absurdity