rant · moment 14 of 14
Delivery Drivers as Target Practice for Paranoid Gun Owners
from Boomer Bashing & Campus Protests | The Tim Dillon Show #391 · #391
3 min
Extending the scam-shooting story, Tim jokes that delivery drivers should take time off before the election because paranoid, armed, schizophrenic homeowners are going to keep mistaking them for threats, envisioning absurd standoffs over food delivery.
- Grandparents with loaded guns shoot delivery drivers they think are targeting their junkie grandchildren at midnight.
- Tim notes there's no more American way to die than being shot while delivering food to a junkie at 1 AM.
- Delivery drivers should consider taking time off during summer heat when paranoid gun owners are primed and ready to kill.
- The armed homeowner sits all day waiting to be activated, mobilized, ready to shoot somebody.
- Ellen would have both the driver and the shooter on her show doing the Bee Gees' 'Stayin' Alive' as a feel-good segment.