rant · moment 8 of 14

Meghan Markle's Jam and a Commemorative Princess Diana Jam Pitch

from Boomer Bashing & Campus Protests | The Tim Dillon Show #391 · #391

3 min

Tim mocks the release of Meghan Markle's jam brand, pitching a fictional Princess Diana blackberry jam as a petty royal-family jab.

In this bit6 moments
  • Ellen DeGeneres as the Illuminati's daytime TV buddy who would explain what was really going on with a whiteboard and pointer.
  • Tim wishes Ellen was back now because the country needs someone like her, imagines a red phone in the green room for urgent government calls.
  • Ellen's hypothetical PSA would mix dancing and fortnite choreography with claims that chemicals used on children are non-toxic.
  • Meghan Markle's jam release shows how civilization ends—through dueling jams instead of actual conflict.
  • Buckingham Palace should release a commemorative Princess Diana blackberry jam with her face holding an African infant, saying 'nothing is blacker.'
  • Tim pitches the Princess Diana blackberry jam product as a counter-move in the royal jam war.
Mentioned here

Ellen DeGeneresWe wish them wellMeghan MarklePrincess Diana

All 14 moments in this episode →