rant · moment 8 of 15
Mocking Arizona and Plotting a Freestyle Rap Trial Strategy
from Biden's SOTU & The Lazarus Drug | The Tim Dillon Show #383 · #383
5 min
Extended riff mocking Arizona residents' intelligence and reading levels, followed by Tim's fantasy of personally prosecuting the case with costumes, a smoke machine, and a freestyle rap opening statement to win over a dumb jury.
- Arizona residents have weird names for things and the state is a nightmare, not a paradise
- Tim would try the case himself instead of bringing in a lawyer, claiming he's better at jury manipulation
- Arizona jury pool has a second-grade reading level, making them vulnerable to visual spectacle over evidence
- Tim says he'd deliver a conviction by putting on a show rather than presenting facts
- He's willing to do a freestyle rap for an opening statement to reach the Arizona jury
- Tim describes his trial strategy: a colorful hoodie, boom box, and rhyming accusations about killing a kid
- The victim died at a Halloween party, which gives Tim the idea to have everyone wear costumes for closing arguments
- Requiring the jury to dress up in Halloween costumes would seem counterproductive but people like dressing up
- Rachel Mitchell, the prosecutor, yelled at Reddit users on social media for trying to solve the crime themselves
- Arizona is a hole, despite being a water sponsor of the show
ArizonaRachel MitchellChristine Whan