rant · moment 17 of 18
What Being an American Means: The Kidnapping Prank Story
from #304 - What America Means To Me | The Tim Dillon Show · #304
4 min
Ben gives an earnest definition of being American around individuality and property; Tim counters with a long personal story about a childhood ransom-note prank on a mentally disabled babysitter and her mother's cruel reaction.
- Tim suggests finding something Americans can agree on, like insurance fraud, that doesn't hurt anybody.
- Asked what being American means, the guest defines it as individuality, property ownership, and freedom from religious or government influence.
- Tim points out the guest's definition doesn't actually apply to himself since he rents and leases everything.
- Tim launches into a story about pranking his friend's mentally disabled sister with a fake kidnapping ransom note when they were young.
- The sister actually called the police and was hysterically crying, believing the boys had been kidnapped.
- When Tim's friend's mother arrived and saw what happened, she called her daughter a retard and blamed the boys.
- Tim concludes that the kidnapping prank story is what being American means to him.